Nightly

You are allowed to vent. Everyone has to sometimes. Take a step back and be objective. Your committee won't let you produce something "bad and crappy". It's going to be okay.

Do what you have to do here to get to the next step. It's painful to compromise sometimes. But if you have to make these changes, do it and hold your head high. You have accomplished so much already. Accepting this reality doesn't diminish your accomplishments. It's the price we pay to keep going.

Have you considered visiting the counseling services available in your area? I don't think you've made a big, unrecoverable mistake in your educational choices. I do think that you sound depressed. I hope I am not getting too personal, but it just seems that your problems are about something other than your education. Realistically speaking, people are not often utterly fulfilled in their jobs. Fulfillment generally comes from within. That isn't to say that your job should be a horrible chore that you hate. Just that your expectations could be out of line with what really happens. Non-traditional students of any age are generally welcome. You don't have to "finish learning" by a certain age. So if you choose to be a graduate student again at 40, you will bring a different set of skills and experience to the table.

I didn't even know you could take a year off. Watching this.