Social Psyc Researcher

This thread is amazing and has totally lightened my mood. I was talking to a friend the other day explaining how I was concerned that I may not be getting in AGAIN this year after receiving several rejections, she said --

"I mean how long are you going to keep applying? Maybe you should just get a job, you are qualified for something, aren't you? I mean how much time are you going to waste trying to get in?"

It was a good thing we were on the phone because I really wanted to punch her...

I also must say that I really really hate, "I am sure you'll get in somewhere."
This is especially irritating because it almost always comes from people who have no idea what they are talking about, and it really just comes off as a nice way of saying "your failure is making me uncomfortable, so I am going to try and say something nice and get the hell out of here."

This thread is amazing and has totally lightened my mood. I was talking to a friend the other day explaining how I was concerned that I may not be getting in AGAIN this year after receiving several rejections, she said --

"I mean how long are you going to keep applying? Maybe you should just get a job, you are qualified for something, aren't you? I mean how much time are you going to waste trying to get in?"

It was a good thing we were on the phone because I really wanted to punch her...

I also must say that I really really hate, "I am sure you'll get in somewhere."
This is especially irritating because it almost always comes from people who have no idea what they are talking about, and it really just comes off as a nice way of saying "your failure is making me uncomfortable, so I am going to try and say something nice and get the hell out of here."

Sorry to crash your post Jillybean, I debated about whether to post a new thread or just post on yours as I am also in need of advice. So here is my issue...I applied to several programs and have been denied from most of them, although I am on the waiting list for 4 of them, and there are a couple I still haven't heard from. As my odds of being accepted are getting slim I have begun looking into other options. I recently met with a professor at a small undergraduate university who is very actively conducting research (she has had 9 pubs in the last year) and she has invited me to come RA for her next year (if I am not accepted). I am extremely excited about her research and I think she would be a great research mentor so I am pretty thrilled by her offer.
Today I heard from one of the schools I applied to (but have kind of lost interest in), asking about my application status at other schools and requesting a phone interview. It sounds like I have a pretty good chance of getting in. The program only has this one professor in my area of interest, I am concerned that this professor may not be able to provide the kind of advising style I want (a little bit too hands off), very few of the current students have any publications, and on top of that I am not too thrilled about the location. I didn't know most of these things when I applied but since then I have gotten to meet the the prof and her lab members, and I have realized it might not be the best fit.
So the question is if I am accepted into this program, and not accepted anywhere else, what do I do? I feel inclined to turn town the offer and pursue another year of research experience with the super productive researcher but then again it seems silly to turn down an offer (if it is not for another offer). My thinking is that I could make myself a better more marketable researcher in the next year so that I can be a more competitive PhD candidate next year rather than eeking my way into a program that might not be the best fit. Especially since I plan to seek a competitive academic research position after I graduate, being an active researcher and publishing my research in graduate school is very important to me.
Anyway just looking for some input...Thanks!

So Anita,
Is this based on your experience and the reviews of others? You talked a lot about how other students felt about the advisor but I didn't see you mention your experience with this person. Did you meet them? How did you feel about them? Obviously it is cause for concern that so many others have had difficulties with this advisor, but how did you feel when you met them? More than once i have heard that someone is awful from other people (and while I may have been able to see where the others were coming from) did not share the negative sentiment once I met the person.

With that said I would be very hesitant to take the position, especially if you have met them and you still feel the same reservations. I interviewed with one POI and felt awkward and belittled in our conversations (although they said they liked me and showed continued interest in me), it doesn't sound nearly as pervasive as what you are describing but I was kind of hoping I would not get an offer because I didn't think this would be an ideal person for me to work with.

As some other posters said, your compatibility with your research advisor can make or break your research career. So while one POI may have overlapping research interests, tons of publications, etc. they may not be as helpful for your research career as a smaller name, lesser know university, etc. if you two have compatible personalities, working styles, etc.

Lastly, I am not sure what stigma would be worse... rejecting your only offer or trying to switch to a different program once you have already started. I would think that once you are in you are in and it would be very hard to switch or reapply to another university.

Good luck!

So you folks had an interview at Purdue? Darn. When was this?
Applying: Purdue, Tulane, UCSB, Kansas, Waterloo, Depaul, Minnesota, UCSC, WUSTL

Thanks!! As of right now it is probably UNL, though I received a late night acceptance from John Jay two days ago, so I am waiting for them to finalize the financial package and see if it changes anything. Both of those programs have been my #1 & 2 interchangeably since the beginning, so I know I will be happy with either .

I know I keep posting this but has anyone heard from/know anything about Penn State, Indiana, or Iowa State? I'm not allowing myself to contact the programs until the second week of March so I'm relying on you all instead. :-)