What a relief to finally talk about it! I only applied to 3 PhD programs, all with full funding, because there's no way I can swing a full-time program and afford to live. Even with funding it's going to be a challenge. I am coming from the business world though, so I fear that my lack of research is really going to put me at a disadvantage. My Master's was not in a research field, so ... Wherever I'm accepted will also mean a big change for me as I will be moving from Los Angeles to either the Midwest or East Coast.
It's so frustrating to have your entire future hanging in the balance. I have started to make "what if" plans, but it's hard, because I have so much wrapped up in getting into a program. Question for anyone on here - have you managed to get a teaching job either at a secondary school or university with a terminal Master's degree? I think I really want to teach, which is one reason why I want to pursue my PhD, but I unfortunately didn't get a TA during my Master's and don't have a ton of experience. I have over 12 years experience in the business world though including facilitating training and presenting in front of large groups, so I feel like it translates.
I'm going to start rambling in a minute, so I will wrap this up by saying that I wish all of us the best of luck! My fingers and toes are crossed, but I really wish that impending sense of dread I feel would go away!