meghan_sparkle

I'm a broken record at this point but this whole thing feels really grim, don't know what else to say. I have zero idea how I'll make an informed decision given 4/6 of my visits have been cancelled. The number of "Email ___" or "Call with ___" entries on my to-do list is going up and up and up but every call leaves me less not more reassured, and my motivation to sit at my computer sending pointless emails (when I suck at email to begin with!!!) is just eroding. At this point I wish I could defer but realistically I can't. It's the least of the world's worries right now, and I realize I'm in an incredibly fortunate position right now and in a sense "can't go wrong." But there's a real sinister irony about having a really shitty 2-3 years (during which my life felt purposeless and I constantly wondered whether I was cut out for a PhD, or whether getting on the Titanic ship that is academia was the future I wanted) only to have this ONE really really good thing happen and ... of course it had to fall into chaotic disarray and leave me feeling more confused and purposeless than ever, lol.

One tactful way of going about it either by email or (preferably) by phone (I get the fear you might have of coming across like "Will you GET me, will you like me?" and how that might be taken the wrong way) would be to phrase it as an open question, like: "Could you tell me about your style of teaching and mentorship?", or "Do you have a philosophy of teaching?", or "I'm interested in hearing about the department culture and the kinds of range in students' work that's typical throughout the program", or "I would love to hear about the work of some of the students you've supervised recently" ('Supervised' is probably the wrong word for MFA, but the idea would be to get them to talk about people they're currently working with in the program.) It's a slightly less direct way of going about it, but the answers to these questions will probably be very telling, both in terms of the kind of instructor the person is (if he typically works just with students close to his own area of specialization, vs if he talks about a wide range of writers enthusiastically) and also (when describing his students) seeing how you'd fit with the kind of person that appears to be at home in the program. But that's just one idea--to be honest you'd probably be fine stating your concerns more frankly too, something like "This is where my work is currently going, and I'm wondering how receptive you'd be to developing those areas" blahblahblah

being married to a prince helped

In response to mass cancellations/coronavirus a good friend of mine said "Surely they will just move the decision date to May 1st or 15th, depending on how the mass coronavirus outbreak affects universities?" Which sounds sensible but I don't think there's really a possibility of that, is there? I mean, people are in situations where they can't attend visits all the time (geography, inadequate reimbursement, a full-time job or studying) and it sounds like April 15 is a nationally binding deadline. (Then again: maybe programs that had to cancel their visits are already thinking it might really throw their yield, so would have an interest in collectively deciding with other programs to move the date? Maybe that's implausible but look this whole thing is implausible...) Like @tansy, rue, root, & seed, I'm having a lot of trouble already weighing up a program I visited (Yale) with another couple that are top choices, but which I will not get to visit. It's just so difficult not to be swayed by known variables (what the area is like, feel of the department and current students, faculty telling you to your face that they want to work with you) vs trying to ascertain those variables at other programs through phone conversations and email chains, which even if they're lengthy just ... aren't the same. It's really hard not to just go with one I visited because it feels like both the best and safest option, but I also really don't want to regret that later! I'm also concerned that faculty who would have otherwise set aside time to participate fully in visiting days are the very same people now scrambling to deal with a totally unprecedented situation w/r/t current students and teaching—figuring out how they'll teach their courses online or via Zoom rather than connecting with prospective PhD students. It'll slide much lower on the totem pole of priorities, surely? Ugh.

WHOA I totally missed the line about twice the funding – sorry OP, I thought the MFA program was fully funded and the other one was less funding!! Resolving not to post replies just before bed anymore. Totally agree w @Bumblebea — especially the bit about the degree to which poor faculty fit can be lowkey traumatizing. ("What's the worst that can happen?" is, it turns out, a lot.) My professors in undergrad but were avid, curious readers of my writing, but the faculty in my 1 year masters, supposedly more prestigious and bigger names, really did not care about my work or writing or advise me at all. The experience of feeling so out of step with them, burnt out by a program I didn't believe in, constantly feeling uninspired or even unwanted—it honestly wiped out my confidence for a good year or so. I didn't ask anyone that taught me on my masters for a recommendation. Hell I didn't even tell my postgraduate dissertation advisor I was applying for PhD programs.

yeah, same, even with a fellowship i'm pretty concerned it isn't enough money for the area and i'm concerned about the environment at UCs right now anyway, being a huge supporter of strikes and the need for a COLA myself. just now got the official email cancelling princeton (i knew from the grad coordinator it was likely but held out a little hope). talked to a harvard professor an hour ago who said they'll probably close before the end of the week; same with columbia (going online) and princeton (telling students not to return after spring break) apparently. totally justified and the right call ofc but i think i haven't really processed how insane all of this is—when was the last time something even remotely like this happened?

in an ideal world, i would say do the English MA. it's clearly the better fit for you by miles, meaning you'll likely produce better work than the fiction you might under people whose work is very different from your own. you can always reapply to MFAs with an english MA in hand. i think you're right to highlight the relative newness of the program, the difference between faculty's interests and your own, and ranking. teaching opportunities and internship opportunities are great obviously, but by no means are they unique to an MFA program; a lot of MA and PhD programs offer these too, often in abundance. the only caveat is: funding. i'm guessing the MA is not fully funded. is it partially funded? do you have any support available to you (family/savings), or the ability to apply for external funding or teaching there? if not, my advice changes a bit. imo it is never worth going into debt to get a humanities degree, mostly because 1.) there is (unfortunately) no guaranteed paying career path at the end of either an MFA or a terminal MA (or even a PhD for that matter...) 2.) the better fit might be somewhat squandered if you're struggling to produce your best work while incredibly stressed about money throughout. if the funding situations are wildly disparate, it would probably be easier/wiser to do the fully funded MFA, playing to your strengths (developing teaching skills, etc) and adapting to the program's weaknesses (fit). there were at least 2 recent MFAs in this year's yale english phd admitted cohort (14 ppl i think?) so it definitely wouldn't hurt you. go where you will produce your best work—and the answer to that question is probably 50/50 fit and funding, it sounds like. sorry for the equivocal answer!

Yes, I should specify that in all cases I've had so far, it's the university's decision to 'strongly recommend' or require visits in various departments to be cancelled. Columbia and Berkeley DGS's emailed me yesterday morning saying "It's still on!" only to cancel within hours, and I get the sense that it was the university's call. Conferences may be slightly more independent and still have the ability to cancel or proceed at their discretion ... though who knows, honestly; this situation seems to be moving fast, with a big sea-change in the last 24 hours or so.

Oh, no, no one said we wouldn't be reimbursed—Berkeley e.g. has said something to the tune of 'try to get a refund from the airline but if they won't let you, we'll send you reimbursement'. I guess I meant in the sense that even though flights may be already booked in some cases like with Berkeley, the accommodation would've been with a current student, which is no longer happening; and with other visits that cancelled before I made official train or flight arrangements ... well, not like I can book those now and get reimbursed for a cancelled visit. It just seems odd to me that some professors are saying "Well, now that we won't have the chance to meet, how about I call you..." and others (in one case even from same institution!!) are saying "Let me know if you're in town and we'll meet". Some implicit pressure to continue on with visits as planned, solo and out of my own pocket, where I can... I dunno. It's understandable—I wouldn't for a moment suggest visits are more important than prophylactic measures when people are dying. But it's definitely really unfortunate. I've had two visits so far (Yale and UChicago) and was equal parts swayed and torn by each one, and I can't imagine making a decision without having visited the others. Skype meetings or phone calls ... sure, they help, but they're no real substitute for a visit. The decision felt impossible to me already, and I think even if I did go to all my visits it would probably come down to small hair-breadth differences, my own instincts, and idiosyncratic personal preferences. Now it just feels daunting and impossible, and the prospect of regretting my decision in future or wishing I could've visited/gotten more information down the line ... sucks. I mean, this is the next 6 years of my life, so no small thing. Alas.

Y e p

Welp. I finished my last faculty meeting at Chicago yesterday only to open email on my phone and find that all of my other visits were cancelled due to coronavirus. Some faculty reaching out to apologize and say their university is descending into chaos at the moment; others reaching out to say "Let me know if you still want to meet!" Ummm. So I can still visit other places, I just won't be reimbursed...? Coooooool. Hope everyone's hanging in there—it's a crazy and enormously stressful time.

Hearing rumors that multiple programs I have yet to visit are considering cancelling their visit days (or rather, departments are reckoning with the very real possibility that the university may require them to cancel.) And... panicking. EDIT: Wasn't clear but for coronavirus reasons I mean.

I can send you my Brown one if you want! DGS replied thanking me saying it was "very gracious" which was touching bc I found it hard to write too

Declined Brown! Hope this helps someone on the waitlist -- and in time to attend visit days too.

yayayayaYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYY

Just finished a breathtaking first visit to Yale. It will be ... hard to beat that, to be honest. Oof.

i'm again probably overthinking everything, but haven't been able to find any advice on this forum about how to gracefully and not too bluntly decline an offer? I'd originally said to one program on the day of acceptance i was eager to attend their visiting day but (now, a few weeks later) it's no longer really in the running for me and don't really think it's a fit. i'd like to decline but genuinely don't know what to write in the email to the DGS other than sorry, i've had to make a tough decision and though i'm honored to be considered i'll be declining my spot, hopefully this helps someone on the waitlist? but maybe even that goes into too much unnecessary detail! i just don't want to be an asshole or ungrateful.

I ... hope not to be!

lol i had to book an air bnb in NYC for a period in-between campus visits (just wouldn't have been worth it to fly back to the UK only to turn around again) and .... they cancelled the confirmed reservation bc due to a fear that i would bring coronavirus into the apartment, lol i'm more nervous/afraid about traveling nonstop over the next month while this widespread panic is unfurling than i am of the virus itself (i'm aware the fatality rate for under 30s is very low). it just feels like ... travel could be impacted, things could go less than smoothly, reservations could be cancelled last minute ... classic me to panic about other people's panic but idk, something in the last 24-48 hours seems to have shifted in the coronavirus discourse.

this is an important reality check, thank you! i grew up in a cold WASPy household so any attention or warmth from mentor figures has me practically screaming "MOMMY" so i really do need to remind myself that this is just recruiting and should be taken w/a grain of salt lol

Ugh, yeah, someone said this to me today about Harvard too. It sucks because otherwise they're top choices. Columbia especially—insane faculty fit, covering all areas of my interests. UGH. Aren't Columbia's intra-departmental fractures longstanding, though? Like, a decade old? Or has something more recent happened?

What the title says. Professors at several of the programs I have offers from have been emailing me; these notes range from short sweet and friendly to long, complimentary and effusive. All can be responded to with a quick few lines, sure, but a lot of them seem like invitations to further conversation and in an ideal world, that is exactly how I would take advantage of them. The problem? I'm baby. For people who have been in this position before (as in, those who are current students now), how did you respond to these emails? As someone now in the position of having developed (or currently developing) a relationship with your supervisor and the rest of your committee, what advice would you give to yourself looking back about those early conversations? I think more than anything I'm looking for an attentive, tough-yet-caring mentorship with someone who will push me and not allow me to cut corners; the place that I get a feeling will offer me this best is probably where I'll end up—so tbh these convos are important, both over email now and in person at visit days. I would hate to look back on this and think, Oh my god, why didn't you pause Suits on Netflix and just spend some time on a half-decent damn email. I know this sounds very basic but I'm a late-stage millennial; we're allergic to email. I know that people who have casual-yet-literate correspondences exist because I hang out with them sometimes. Sadly I'm not one of them. I learn best by example, but am probably not going to ask my older writer/professor friends to forward me their best professor/student emails for tips because omg cringe. Instead, I will ask the internet!!! Hit me!

If you're referring to job placement, isn't this also the situation at places like Harvard? (A current student and 2 recent grads have told me they haven't placed a student on a TT line in several years.) Not saying there isn't an issue at Columbia but I'm curious about the degree to which that infamous CHE piece resulted in overexposure for them. Obviously placement is declining (steeply) almost everywhere but it seems to me like flatlining placement is a big issue across several Ivies and I'd be really curious to know where it is worse than other places, as it's almost impossible to take faculty or students' word as gospel and statistics on department websites are often incomplete/fudged/misleading...

I have definitely heard of this being done and it's a topic of debate on these forums now and again. So: the most pragmatic answer is that yes, it's done, and if money is truly the factor preventing you accepting an offer that is otherwise your #1 choice, I would definitely broach the subject. Maybe not at visits, though you could—my instinct is just that visits should be all about getting to know faculty and your cohort etc and the DGS will be juggling a lot that weekend/day, compared to a conversation via phone or email after the fact when you've really got it narrowed down to, say, 2. I guess I'm of two minds on this generally (next couple paragraphs packed with wisdom I've gotten from mentors and friends of mine who are in currently programs/now in academia, so ignore my authoritative tone; it's inherited). On one hand, I think programs offering equal funding to grad students is often a key component to a good cohort dynamic and a good experience and several have told me to look out for it. Obvs I have no knowledge of this firsthand but I can see why it would be the case. On the other hand, it is so important to be hard-nosed on visits (and in the period after when making decisions) and not be seduced by any romantic visions of graduate student life, like "oh, 5-6 years of funded writing and reading!" That anyone in the year of our Lord 2020 pretends decisions between programs are (often) not largely about money is a little crazy to me. Unless you are independently wealthy/have family support it should 100% be a primary consideration. Once you are there as a student, you are in a large sense a provider of labour for them, and you should think of it like accepting a job. Because it is one. However, it's often not just about the stipend dollar amount. There are a lot of ways to complicate this consideration that may be helpful to you: 1. How far does that money go in the area? Living in the Bay area on UC Berkeley money vs on Stanford money—VERY different things. My funding package from Harvard and Columbia are substantially higher than Chicago and Brown, but all things aren't created equal—it's about how far Brown money goes in Providence vs Columbia money in NYC. So when you say substantially more, how much more, and how are the areas comparable? Also: are there internal opportunities through the department or university in later years to increase that funding, e.g. teaching fellowships or competitive fellowships? These will be much more common at some universities than others. 2. Other factors: Is there summer funding? If so, what years is it available? How easy is it to get a 6th year of funding, if you're only guaranteed five? (Ask current students about this; they're the ones who'll know. I've heard for example from a couple current students that Yale tries pretty hard to get you out in 5, though you wouldn't know that from the department website.) How often are you paid? When is the first payment (if you're an international student who'll be incurring moving costs at the start)? Does it adjust yearly for inflation? What are the departmental funds like for conferences, and how does their travel fund work? What about university emergency funds (e.g. for unexpected emergency costs, accidents, deaths in the family, emergency dental)? While I don't think any one of these will be a tipping point when weighing financial packages, amounts in the hundreds or low thousand(s) can be a big deal when you're estimating your cost of living year to year, and can definitely flesh out a fuller picture of what you're looking at. 3. Lastly it is almost never bad manners to discuss this, though you may get franker and more helpful answers on visits from current students, so they may be your first port of call before you take it to a DGS or faculty member. If it were me, I would not leverage offers against multiple universities in order to get them to make my decision for me (not saying this is what you're doing btw, but I think there's a world in which some decisions are so hard to make that you might push for an equalizing factor to make pulling the trigger easier). But if I'd narrowed it down to 2 or 3 and one option had a substantially less attractive financial package, there is really no harm in asking.

out of reactions but omg I FEEL THIS