fuzzylogician

1. You don't need a letter from the bank (what would it say?), assuming you don't have enough money there to show that you can support yourself, I'm not sure it'll help. Getting a letter from your brother stating that he will help you might be a good idea. 2. It really depends on the cost of living where you'll be. In some places you can get an apartment and cover your living expenses for $2000, at others it'll barely be enough to cover rent. Also, is $2000 the amount you'll be paid before taxes are taken out? If so, your salary will actually be lower and that's important to keep in mind. 3. Unfortunately your spouse can't work at all. If your school won't issue you a J-1 visa, that's just how it has to be. This is illegal! People on F-2 status are not allowed to work in the US, and it doesn't matter at all where they get paid. Note: Calorific says they will have RA funding. This may mean that they are already considered to be working the allowed amount of hours a month and therefore cannot take on another job. Calorific -- you should find out the source of your funding and whether you're considered to be employed or are getting a fellowship. Depending on this status you may or may not be able to take an additional on-campus job. Even if you can work, I'd caution against relying on this option too much because no one guarantees that you'll have a steady job for the entire time you'll be in your program nor that you'll be able to work for the full 20 hours you'd like. There aren't that many campus jobs. On the other hand, note that you'll be able to work up to 40 hours a week during the summer break, and I believe that after the first year you should be able to ask for permission to work off campus, as long as the job is related to your field. *** Whatever you do, consult with your international students office before starting any kind of job in the US; you need to be sure you are not violating the law ***

Depending on the situation I'd either contact my PI or stay away. This is not someone who you are close with or that it sounds like you can get to if you'd try approaching them. You feel unsafe as it is--I wouldn't put myself in any more danger. But on the other hand, if you're not sure whether or not your PI (or other faculty, for that matter) are aware of the situation, I think it's worth making sure. This person could be a danger to themselves or others. There may be attempts behind the scenes to get this person help and this kind of report could help the department finally be able to take some necessary action. (It's actually not easy dealing with a student like you describe, once they've been admitted, even if the department is aware of issues. So, more reports and more details could really help them, if they are interested in taking action. I hope that it shouldn't have a negative impact on anyone who reports the behavior, as long as it's done discreetly in a way that shouldn't otherwise harm the person being reported.) ETA: in a very different situation, I've had experience reporting someone who used similar language and (I believe) save them from a suicide attempt. I think it's really important to help if someone actually reaches out to you. I'm less sure about how to deal with rumors, though.

I kind of depends on the situation - who the person is, how much power they have over me, how much interaction we have with one another, what I want from them (or better, what they want from me). The first thing I try is ignore the behavior. Most of the time it will go away soon enough. This is especially true for people who I don't interact with often, who are near me on the food chain, and who my work doesn't really depend on. I've never found returning the behavior to be very useful, I think it tends to escalate situations rather than diffuse them. If that doesn't work, since I'm a fairly direct person, I just ask the person what the problem is and try to work it out. If someone is actively disrupting my work, e.g. ignoring emails or requests for help in a way that hinders my progress, I try and discreetly involve a supervisor. Ccing your boss on your emails can be a very effective tool.

It depends on the country of origin and what kind of reciprocity agreements those countries have with the US. For example, I have friends from Russia, both on F and on J, who only get a visa for one year at a time. They need to renew it basically every time they go home. It's very frustrating for them, and not cheap at all.

Some countries have agreements with the US that don't allow visas to be issued for more than 5 years. I think this is pretty common. So even if your program is longer, you'll need to get a new visa after 5 years. It sounds like there should be no problem with your documents.

I agree with the comments above. You need to decide what career you want to have and from there what degree you need to get. From what you write, I get the impression that you need a EdD for the kind of job you want to do, but (independently, but relatedly) you want to do a research PhD that would allow you to study questions that won't actually affect your hirability and won't be what your day-to-day job post graduation will be about. If that's the case, you need to sit down and seriously think about the value of spending a few years studying something you're interested in but won't contribute to your job prospects (or, not much; or not as much as a more relevant applied degree). It's a personal decision whether the extra effort and lost potential wages are worth it.

I'm not sure what the old thread was about but I do know you can sign up as a 'worker' on Amazon Mechanical Turk and complete online surveys for a few extra bucks. I use it fairly often to recruit participants for my experimental work. Some people do it for a living and have a whole system going, but I think for the average worker I wouldn't count on making too much money on there. (Caveat: I'm not sure if you're allowed to work if you're an international student; check with your ISO!)

Several posts have been removed from this thread. Please try and keep things civil.

At some schools the credit hours for a course reflect how many hours you're expected to study for it, so that might give you some idea. I'd agree with the "0-9" estimate, though it really depends. I think there is also an expectation that you spend more time on courses at the beginning of grad school and gradually shift your concentration to research as you progress. It doesn't necessarily mean that the workload lessens but that you learn to manage it better and to prioritize the different demands on your time. Like TakeruK says, at some point spending more time on a course does not guarantee better results.

There are certainly lots of people who only apply to schools within a certain geographic region for all kinds of reasons, like family ties or a job. If there are 6 schools that you'd love to attend in your state, I'd say there is no reason not to apply to them all and see how it works out. There's nothing wrong with that.

Before anyone with more relevant information comes along, let me make some general suggestions (since I can't help with the field-specific ones). First, the same document can be called different things by different programs. What matters is not so much the name, but what the content is required to be. Assuming that this is the only document that you are required to write before the thesis and that the purpose of the document is to lay out the topic, main questions you'll investigate, and some ideas about what you're going to say, I'd say the document you're required to write is the prospectus/proposal. Second, as for how long the proposal is supposed to be and how many sources is should cover, I am willing to bet that it depends on the program and might vary quite widely. My suggestion is to either consult your graduate student handbook if one exists, or else ask your advisor and/or more senior grad students in your program. I'd also suggest asking either your advisor or those students if there are older proposals you could look at, to get an idea for what they tend to contain. This will probably give you a much better idea about what *you* are required to do for *your* program than knowing what might be required by other programs.

All the manuscripts I currently have under review and that I'm submitting in the near future have my current affiliation on them, even though starting in about a month and a half my affiliation will change, and I'm certain that nothing I have under review will be published before then (the process is very slow!). The plan is to update my contact info once I have a new affiliation. Normally you get a chance to make changes like that to your manuscript during the revision process or once it's accepted. In your case, I'd suggest writing the editor to ask which email address to give since you expect your current academic address to be deactivated soon. The solution may be to give your personal email address just for communication purposes and change it to an academic one once the paper is accepted. As long as it's possible to change the information you give now later in the process, I'd say give your current info now and change it once you start at your new school.

I suggest you watch your language. I don't have a lot of patience for this. Both of you.

You can ask them to tell you what the SEVIS number is even before they send you the I-20, assuming they've already issued it and are just waiting for information about your wife and child's passports to complete the process. It's entirely possible that you already have an assigned SEVIS number. If not, I don't see what else you can do but wait, since they've already refused to send you your I-20 independently of your family's I-20s. Again, once you've submitted all the information they require, you can ask for the number before you get the actual document in the mail. If you submit the information this week and are able to get an answer from them next week, hopefully that won't hold you back too much.

This is not exactly what you asked for (I am not a political science student), but I have some advice about what to expect once you're in school. In my experience as a TA for a technical class where some students tend to come with very extensive backgrounds and others come with little or no background, the difference between the students who make it through the class and those who struggle is this: The ones who are not shy and ask for help as soon as they stop following the class do just fine. (Sometimes these students need more help than other times, but what's important is keeping with the class and not falling behind.) The ones who let themselves quietly fall behind have a very hard time. Sometimes the instructors are able to identify these students early and help them, but those who just sit there without understanding what's going on for even 2-3 classes can come very close to not being able to make up for what they've lost. The moral of the story is: yes, it's possible that you'll have a class where some other students have more background than you. However, that is not a good reason to despair. The instructors' goal is for everyone to pass the class and understand the material. Ask questions. In class, if you're comfortable doing so, or outside otherwise. Take advantage of the TA and instructor, go to office hours. Furthermore, unless you're the only one there with less background (and probably even then!), I guarantee you that if you are not following something, others are having trouble too. You will not be alone in finding some of the material difficult. It's not extraordinary and it says nothing negative about you. People will thank you for stopping an instructor from talking over the class's head for an hour, and just asking a clarification question.

Personally, it seems to me that it's not worth it. The home requirement really limits your opportunities post-graduation, and I don't think it's worth it for the amount they're offering you. If you know you're going to go back home, then it's no problem. But if you think you may want to get a job in the US or in a third country, or you're just not sure, this can be a real limiting factor down the line. (Personally I don't think any amount is worth it, but unlike you I don't think going home for two years after I graduate would be good for my career at all so I never applied in the first place.) As for the prestige, at least in my (academic) field it's completely acceptable to have fellowships you were offered and declined on your CV, so if things are the same in your field then you have very little to gain from accepting the fellowship. All that matters is that you won it, and that's good enough for having it on your CV.

Stop worrying. They told you your visa was approved and they took your passport. If there was a problem that would have required more background checks they wouldn't have told you your visa was approved, and they would not have taken your passport.

Question(s): what did you contribute to each project? How long did you work on them? How do they fit with your current/future research interests? What can you say that you learned from each project? What relevant or transferrable skills did you gain from each one? How different are each of these projects from the other project you say you'll write about? Also, will you get letters of recommendation detailing your work on one, or both of these projects? Do they otherwise appear on your CV (they both should, I imagine, but still.)?

You can do what's easy, or you can do what's right. Those don't necessarily match. From what you describe, it sounds like this professor is overstepping her authority You should be able to argue something she disagrees with and still get a grade based on the quality of the work. If you want to pursue getting the work you've already done graded fairly, I'd look into resources on campus that can help with that - that can be the disability office, the ombudsperson, or perhaps the DGS or department head, if you think this can be handled within the department. If you do this, you may get the grade you deserve, but it'll involve at least some unpleasantness. This may help others down the line but there is a possibility that it'll hurt you. Especially if this is a tenured professor, she is there to stay and you are transient. She may get the support of her department just to keep the peace. So it's possible that you'll start a process (or contribute to an ongoing process) of dealing with this professor, but it's also possible that you'll just start a process of putting yourself in an awkward position with your department. You know more about the department's culture and current attitudes toward this professor than us, so you should have at least some idea of how this would turn out. (If I were in this situation I'd probably choose to fight and pursue one of the avenues I listed above, but I say this knowing full well that sometimes it's better to be smart than to be right.) If you prefer to just get this over with with as little trouble as possible, then perhaps the easiest thing to do is just say what the professor wants to hear. It sounds like this has worked for people in the past. I am guessing that this would be less work than writing a new paper on a new topic, If you are able to do that. Whatever you choose, you should know it's not ok but it's perhaps the easiest way to get out of a bad situation. Either way, a clear and obvious conclusion is to stay away from this professor as much as possible in the future. It's best to avoid any way in which she can affect your career, which probably means avoid having any kind of contact with her whatsoever. I assume this is a foregone conclusion, but it's worth mentioning just in case.

I just came across this convenient side-by-side comparison of the J and F visas on the Berkeley International Office. It mostly just confirms what we've already said here, but it's nice to have it from a more official source. http://internationaloffice.berkeley.edu/students/new/fj_compared

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Not to state the obvious, but you can learn at least part of what you're asking for by looking at the websites and CVs of early-career students at the top departments that you are interested in, especially first-second year students. People who have a website will normally list their interests, and on their CV you should be able to find any publications/awards/presentations/research experience that they have. Some also list things like their undergrad GPA and thesis topic/advisor. I'd stick to beginning students because in later years people might remove some earlier entries from their CV and only keep more impressive ones, so you might not get an accurate idea of what their CVs actually looked like when they were just accepted to the program. If you do this, you might not know everybody's GPA or GRE scores but the more important thing is the other stuff anyway.

Someone must have emailed you when you got your acceptance. You could get in touch with that person again to let them know you've now accepted another offer with a better financial aid package. If there is a professor who you were in touch with during the application process, you could email that person. Otherwise, I'd recommend finding the person who is in charge of grad school admissions (like the Director of Graduate Studies, or the admin person in charge) and letting them know.

I apologize, I certainly didn't mean to provide a diagnosis over the internet. I take your word for everything that you said. I agree that wanting to have a relationship and a family are fairly common/normal concerns for someone in their 30s. However, I still stand by my opinion that seeking out some help through whatever resources are available at your university is a good idea. It can be a support group, or a therapist, or whatever else your university can provide. Not because you need help to treat a depression or anything, but because dealing with anxiety and being alone is very hard, and using these resources can really help. I've done that during grad school, even though I am not (and fortunately have never been) depressed. I needed someone objective to talk to about grad school related anxieties, and I'm very glad I did that. I understand that there is a stigma attached to seeking out mental health services, but (a) you can keep it private, it's really nobody's business and (b ) it is completely worth it to get some outside perspective and work through problems that you don't want to (or can't) share with your colleagues and advisors. It can be a good way to get to the bottom of the motivation issue; having an objective person to bounce ideas off of--especially as they relate to major life decisions, like quitting a PhD program--can only be a good thing as far as I am concerned. That said, this is just my opinion and it may not work for you. As TakeruK says, a bad fit with an advisor can cause serious problems with motivation and overall happiness in grad school. I've seen it many times. I also agree with a lot of other things TakeruK says, there is a lot of good advice there.

Reading your post, two main things came to mind. First, the self-diagnosis of depression seemed suggestive, and I hope that you are seeking out some help to deal with it. Being in that state of mind can understandably lead to all kinds of hardship. I think it's really important to take care of it, even if it means stopping your studies and moving away. You may need help working through your thoughts about having a relationship, and (relatedly) you could probably use some help getting better integrated in your surroundings and making friends. That said, the second point is that the thing that stuck most with me from the description of your academic status is that you should switch advisors. Seriously, if you don't get along with your advisor, you're in for a very unpleasant experience. You mentioned a professor who you do enjoy working with, and who invited you to collaborate with you on a project. Any chance this person can become your main advisor? It SO much more important to have someone who you get along with than someone whose interests are the best match with yours. I think that if you have a better experience with your advisor, things will improve a lot. It's also worth keeping in mind that first year is always difficult and full of classes, and that the focus will shift more to research as you progress. You also become better at dealing with the stress as the time passes. First year is a big adjustment. You may still have to focus on classes in your second year, but probably not much beyond that, and you'll learn to establish a routine and better work habits. So given that you say your desired career requires a PhD, you should ask yourself if there are ways to improve your life in your current program. Both by dealing with all the surrounding issues about your mental health, which I'm sure are affecting your wellbeing, and also with your advisor. If you can't improve both aspects, I'd say it's not worth suffering for four more years. However, I'm not sure you can know now, in your current state of mind. I think the first concrete thing you can do is seek out a new advisor. That alone can help a lot. Then, I'd say it's important to work on your personal wellbeing, perhaps together with a therapist. I don't think there is any reason to expect that you won't have a relationship in grad school (why not? lots of people find a SO while in school!), but the fact that you think that says a lot. That has to change somehow! I don't think it's worth sacrificing your personal life for an academic degree. So, to answer the question in your title, the academic difficulties you describe I would say are "normal" in the sense that a lot of people deal with them. The personal side of things is perhaps more serious, because it's a bit harder to fix, though that too is something that a lot of people have to deal with when they start grad school. However, since you are dealing with both issues, I think it's important to fix them both, "normal" or not.