fuzzylogician

It might help to keep in mind two related facts. First, class papers are assignments that you have to do to get a grade. They don't need to be a masterpiece, they just need to be good enough. Second, class papers may be the first step, but are never the last step, to doing meaningful research. Notice the may there. There will be papers that you never pursue any further, in classes or on topics that you don't care much about. That happens to everyone; it's fine and even expected. Sometimes you just do what you have to do to get the grade and pass the class. I think it's wrong and even dangerous to expect your class papers to be more than what they are intended to be; it's a recipe for psyching yourself out and freezing up, neither of which are healthy. The sooner you put class papers in perspective, the easier it'll be to invest your energy where it really counts -- in your actual research. Writing papers always involves multiple stages of revision, getting comments and rewriting again. An inherent part of the process is that you may sometimes be unhappy with what you produce, that you'll get stuck, that you'll feel like you don't have the right words or you can't quite put them to paper yet because there is more you need to figure out first. When you work on your research, you can take that time and eventually figure it out (or not). Successful researchers I know are able to decide that the work is good enough to go out into the world, but they fully expect there to be issues and mistakes and imperfections. They deal with them as they come. When it's a class project, you just have to write up what you have in time for your deadline, and that's it. No one expect it to be perfect. This all said, another thing I think it is important to stress now is this: you need to stop comparing yourself to others. It's hard, but it's essential to your mental health. First off, there will always be someone faster/smarter/more whatever. It never ends. If that's what you're going for, you might as well quit now. The good news, though, is that you absolutely don't need to be the best at anything to be successful. There is room for people who are good but not the best (which is by definition, the vast majority of us). Second, remember that you can see your own internal turmoil and insecurities, but not that of others. When you compare yourself to those successful shiny people, remember that they also face their own demons and compare themselves to others too--probably to you too. Not many will admit it, but I don't know anyone, including people who I consider to be highly successful, who don't struggle with something. It's just not something we readily admit or talk about enough. Although it's not directly related, I really like this recent post so I am linking to it here: http://sasconfidential.com/2015/11/20/shadow-cv/.

Is there a way to accept this postdoc and defer for a year? Or can you just apply to it next year instead of now? What other options would you have next year if you don't get this postdoc -- is this a one time thing in a field with few other options, or are there many other possibilities for next year? It's kind of what to say what you should do without knowing more. I think cutting down on the writing time would make sense for a (permanent) job, but it's less clear for a postdoc. Are you planning to revise your dissertation into a book, or a few journal articles for publication? I am guessing (though I don't know for a fact) that if it's a book, the text will be scrutinized more closely in its dissertation form and having a half-based text won't help, whereas if it's journal papers then you have the time to revise the text at a later date. Also relevant, will you have the time during the postdoc to work on publications coming out of your dissertation, or do you need to get it to be in good shape before you graduate because you expect to be busy with new-job duties?

Assuming that it's the only entry of its kind on your CV, if you have any presentations then I'd have a combined "presentations and publications" heading, otherwise I'd go with either "publications" or "manuscripts," and make sure it's clear that this is not a published paper but a manuscript. Either way, as I said, the value of having this paper on your CV is not great. What is important is if you can discuss it in detail in your SOP and explain how the experience of writing this paper has shaped your interests and research plans, and also (I assume) the fact that at least one professor knows this paper and can write about it in their LOR.

If it's not submitted yet, it's not a pending publication. Don't list it as such, that would not be appropriate. It would need to go through peer review first, and there is no guarantee that it'll be accepted. You can list it on your CV as a manuscript: Random, C. 2015. "Basketweaving in underwater environments." Manuscript, Your University. (Use the citation format appropriate for your field!) I would only do this if it's in very advanced preparation stages or if it's finished. Once it's submitted, you can replace "manuscript" with "submitted" (and in some fields you might also specify the journal, but again keep in mind that until it's accepted it doesn't count for much).

It's perfectly fine. You can get comments from others on your work and you can take their wording suggestions. There is nothing unethical about that.

It sounds to me like you are making the right decision by quitting. There is no point in getting a PhD in the Humanities if you are not passionate about it and want that faculty job (or other job you couldn't do without a PhD). It's hard enough as it is, and if you can do other things, I think it's good to realize that early and pursue them. I also think that taking your time before you leave might be a good idea, for several reasons, some of which you've mentioned. You could get some teaching experience and find out what you'd need to do to get an MA (I'll get back to that point in a bit). More importantly, I think, you can start adjusting your goals and your work to fit whatever it is you want to pursue next. Take advantage of your university's career center to help you turn your CV into a resume. Start exploring options for the next job or career you'd like to have. Attend career fairs, pursue internships, etc. There are many resources graduate students are often not aware of. Since I assume you have a fellowship and you are not suffering, I think you want to take the time to make a plan for your next move before you quit. As part of that plan, you need to figure out if having some teaching experience would be useful, and if having the MA would be useful. They may or may not be. As for getting the MA, this is something that we can't help you with without knowing more details, which I understand why you would not want to share. You can start by reading through whatever official materials are distributed to current students in your department. Does the website mention that this is an option? Does the university/graduate school discuss it? Also, can you think of any students who have recently left your program and what happened to them? Maybe more senior students can tell you about what's happened to students who've quit in the past, say, 5 years. I'm sure they exist, no program has 100% retention. Maybe they know if the MA is ever awarded by your department and under what circumstances. Other ways to discreetly ask questions might be to chat up the department's admin person or other staff, who would have the knowledge and are unlikely to tell your professor that you asked questions. If you're concerned that asking questions might make you a target for unwanted behavior from the faculty, you could consider reaching out to the ombudsperson at your school and having them do some fact-finding for you. If you do trust your advisor or another faculty member, you could initiate a conversation whose gist is basically "I am unsure that I should stay, and wanted to talk to you about my options," not saying that you'll quit but just asking what's out there. One question could be about what would happen if you choose to leave now and/or if there an MA option.

A major publication = a publication in a peer-reviewed journal, preferably a high-ranked one. A thesis (or dissertation) is not a publication.

Hard to say without seeing it, but sounds like it could work if there is a contained hypothesis or two that you can flesh out, test, and discuss. That probably means you need to have some portion of the lit review, or at least some mention of the major issues, the relevant methods, results, discussion, broader implications. I'd add somewhere up front that this is a part of your MA thesis, and the full text can be found at (in case anyone wants to browse it). This can be a lot of work--it amounts to taking your thesis and chopping it up into separate article-length paper(s). That's generally a good thing to do anyway, if there is anything publishable there, but it would usually be a multi-month process of work and revisions.

I wouldn't mention it. You don't know how widely your SOP will be shared--it might be distributed to everyone on the faculty. Would you be comfortable with all of your professors knowing this about you? Moreover, you can't know or control how others will interpret this information, and there is a not-insignificant chance that it'll be interpreted in ways that you would rather it not. Your F is long enough in the past and not in an important subject. I think one excuse (illness) is enough, and since you also have a professor discussing it, I think you should be fine. Of course, no one can make you any promises, but that wouldn't change even if you include this additional information.

It's very useful for teaching large lectures, so I use it on a weekly basis during the semester. I've never needed a timing option because I always either know exactly where I need to be (conference) or it's not that important (teaching). I guess it's nice if you're less experienced and don't have a good sense of timing. I also think I prefer the red laser to the green, but I hardly use that feature.

I've had the Kensington clicker for several years now and I think it's great. It also looks like there's a good deal on it right now. http://www.amazon.com/Kensington-Wireless-Presenter-Laser-Pointer/dp/B000FPGP4U/

I think this is fine and you have nothing to worry about because of this comment. As a more general note, I think there is a concern that your interests are too narrow, if there is only one school in the entire US that can support them. Where will you present your work? What journal will want to publish them? And who will want to give you a job, if you work on a question so small that no one else is interested in it? I think it's important to be a bit broader and also to keep in mind that interests change and evolve and you should make sure that the school you go to can support that, if/when it happens.

I am guessing based on your interests that you are in a Literature program. I have a feeling that standards for conference presentations vary sufficiently across our fields that I should not attempt to give advice on this one. The only thing I will say is to make sure you give at least one practice talk before the actual talk. Regrading a journal submission, have you chosen the journal? That usually helps set the tone and the structure. Read the guide to authors on the journal's webpage and look at some recent papers that have been published. Two things that usually need to change between a thesis and a journal paper is the amount of background you give and the general tone of the paper. Understand what you have contributed and put it in the right context of other relevant work in your area. Framing your ideas correctly and giving credit to others where it's due are crucial. As with the conference presentation, have an advisor read and comment on your paper at least once before you submit, and expect to have lots of comments and several rounds of revisions before you're ready to submit. On the flip side of that, once you are happy with the paper, don't try to make it perfect -- there is no such thing. At some point you just have to let it go and see what the reviewers think.

I'm still confused about what it is that you do in this class. Do the students present their own work (workshop style)? Or are there outside presenters? What are the assignments like and how long does it take to do them? Does it matter that you get a high grade in this class, or can you just write something quick and be done with it? I know schools that have a workshop style class for ABDs (I've participated in a couple, myself) and I agree with rising_star's description that these classes can range from great to bad. It all depends on the instructor and (mostly) the other participants. I haven't heard of ABDs being required to take other kinds of classes, but I'm also not sure having to attend one class and do some homework is that onerous of a task.

You should ask the schools you are applying to, and not rely on the replies of internet strangers. What if what we say is right for some school we know but for not the ones you're applying to? Or if someone posts something here that is just wrong? That could have catastrophic results that can be avoided by simply directly asking the schools.

^ I actually think it's worse than that. Even if you didn't waive your rights,* there is a question of the understanding between you and the professor. Is the professor aware that you are reading his letter, or is he expecting it to be kept confidential and simply delivered by you to the school? Unless the professor gave you permission to read his letter (which it doesn't sound like he did), you are out of bounds. You should not mention this issue to the professor, and all you can do is hope that it doesn't have a large impact on your application. I would bet it's not a deal breaker, since it's not something you can control and I think lots of professors will have some kind of template for writing letters, so this would be a rather small mistake. Your reading the letter without permission, if it were ever found out, would be a much bigger deal. * Waiving/not waiving your rights affects whether or not you can ask a school to see school records that include confidential letters of recommendation. It's independent of any understanding you have with a letter writer about whether they allow/expect you to read their letter.

That's exactly the right sentiment. And it's hard to do, hence the general advice to not do it. As the writer, it can be very hard for you to know if you're doing it right, and even if you get some readers' opinions, you can't begin to guess how the particular committee members at the schools you're applying to will interpret what you write. That said, it's certainly possible to do it, and based on your rhetoric here, I think you could do a good job (but if you have any doubts, I would still vote for leaving this stuff out).

Following up on what has been said, I think some personal anecdotes can appear in a SOP, but you should not be telling your life story there. The SOP is a professional document and is going to be read that way; readers will want to know what your interests are, how prepared you are to pursue them, and how their particular school could support them. As a result, I would only mention details that directly inform your research interests and concentrate on those. I would also only include details that I'd be comfortable with the entire faculty knowing about me. You don't know who will read your SOP and at least at some schools, everyone sees the application materials of all candidates. I'd also not include anything that might paint you in a negative light, describes any criminal activity, or anything of the sort, because you really can't control how people will interpret what you write. Be careful with details.

I'm in a different field and I'm not sure I understand exactly how important abstracts are -- are these like short papers? In my field, writing an abstract isn't by itself something that makes in onto your CV. If your abstract gets accepted to a conference, then you get to list the presentation. In any event at this point in your career I think you should include anything you've been an author/presenter of, even if you're not first or second. It's true that it won't get you a job or maybe even grants/fellowships, but unless your field is very different from mine, it's still impressive for an undergraduate and has the potential to help you secure a good spot and funding for a PhD. Later on, when you have accumulated more/better publications, you can consult with your advisor about removing some of the older, less impressive ones.

We can't really answer this question for you, but I would worry less about departments accepting you despite the low score, which seems possible given that the other aspects of your application sound strong, and more about university-wide cutoffs that I bet you would not meet, if they exist. In such a case, your prospective department would have to fight for you, and there is no guarantee of success. So if you can find out if such cutoffs exist at your target schools, you should do that. And either way, it might just be easier to retake the test and fix this problem, so it doesn't hold you back.

^ Yep, a good thing to do is go on the school and department's webpages and see how they describes themselves. I always prefer to be on the safe side, but in cases like UCLA or MIT I think there is a clear institutional preference and you'll be just fine using the abbreviations. Honestly, though, as long as you have the right school name in your documents and don't confuse it with some other school, I think any choice you make will be fine.

In that case, in principle you could ask to have something added to your file, but since you've submitted the application, the school doesn't have to agree (look for any text that says "you can update/change materials until the deadline," which some schools have). However, in this particular case, I don't think you should.

You could ask a school to update existing materials if something major has changed (e.g. you had a paper accepted for presentation or publication at a good venue, you won a major grant or fellowship, etc.). You can't send in new materials after the deadline, though. That's what the deadline is for. And yes, in general, a research proposal would not be a good choice for a writing sample.

Ask them how long the presentation should be. There is no way we can tell you that. Asking doesn't make you seem like a novice (but asking here does--how could we possibly know?). The contents will at least partly depend on how much time you have, so you need to know. While you're at it, also ask what to expect the audience to be like (just one prof? an entire research group? the whole department? students - undergrads? grads?). That should also inform your decision of what to present.

I haven't and don't know anyone who has, but if you do decide to hire her services, I'd be curious to hear how it went.