fuzzylogician

Alright, two things then. First, as Eigen said, I assume that the real problem wasn't so much that you took time off but that you didn't clear it with her. You might think it's not a big deal because she had other meetings anyway, but she came there in part to meet with you and/or the lab, and not being there is not okay. I'm not sure why she spent so long ranting about this incident, but I think you did the right thing by immediately apologizing by email. When you next see her, start the conversation by apologizing in person. Hopefully that will clear the air. It's really not the worst thing that's ever happened, so you should both be able to put it behind you and move on. As for the more general advising situation, it sounds like it might be okay for the MS, and as I said before, I think it's important for you to really think through what matters for you and what you want from an advisor. Your current advisor might be an amazing person and researcher, but if her advising style doesn't fit what you are looking for, then for me that is a great reason to seek another lab for your PhD. A PhD is a long term project with lots of ups and downs. I personally think that having a good advisor is super important. More so than having the project of your dreams or being at a fancy shmancy university. It's an important decision, so give it some serious thought.

I can't help answer your question, but I would suggest reaching out to the schools you're planning to apply to and asking them directly if they would accept an unofficial transcript. Regardless of what their website says, they may agree to make an exception if you explain the problem.

If you've uploaded everything that is required by the department, then you're good to go. You won't be penalized for not uploading documents in the "additional information" section. Some people use it as described above. Others use it to upload a supplemental essay to explain any quirks in their application (such as a semester of low grades or time off school). If you don't have anything like that to add, that's just fine.

Even if he doesn't retire this year, it seems highly unlikely that he will still be around when you are ready to write your dissertation. I wouldn't count on him. Beyond advising for your dissertation, you want someone who is still active and who will be able to use his connections to help you and write letters for you 8-10 years from now (assuming that you are not that special butterfly who gets their dream TT job right out of school, and even then it's at least 5 years from now). I've seen people who've lost their advisor one way or another, and the struggles they went through to find a replacement letter. It wasn't a pretty sight, and the result wasn't as good as the original would have been, for obvious reasons. Here it's really a question of how much the department supports or accepts work with professors outside the department. If this is a normal thing that's done all the time, then I wouldn't hesitate to write about it. I would think that part of what makes the department a good fit is precisely that it makes available all these relationships with professors at other departments. On the other hand, if you poke around recent dissertations and you can't find anyone doing this, then I would say that unfortunately despite there being people in principle around, it's still not a good fit because likely you won't actually be able to make use of these resources. I have to say that it sounds like you are being too narrow in your search. Perhaps the interests you've defined are too narrow, or the combination of interests/methodology are. I think there are several dangers associated with having research that is too esoteric. One is that it'll be hard to find appropriate conferences and publication venues, as well as reviewers for your work. A bigger and I think more pressing concern has to do with employability. You may think this is too far down the line to worry about, and in a sense that is true, but if you have research interests that are too specific, you may find that it's very hard to find a good job. I am not suggesting that you pick your interests based on what people are hiring for this year or last (because it might change and because you can't really quite do that), but be aware and try and remain broad enough to be relevant to a wider community. That should also mean that there will be more people who you can talk to and who could advise your work, so I think it's a good thing to keep in mind even at this early stage.

I understand that this incident has made you feel unhappy. You made a mistake and got called out on it, and that's no fun. You've apologized to your advisor, and as a busy person it's a safe bet that she's moved on. There is nothing more I would advise doing at this point. Everyone knows that students will make mistakes; just don't do it again. Also don't expect things to be awkward between you, because that will make it that much more likely that they will. It may feel unpleasant to be reprimanded, but the chances that this one slip has caused the entire lab to change their behavior toward you are small. Try and put this behind you, and look ahead. This aside, I think there is a more general question of how to deal with a small lab with an absent PI. You have to really think about whether the support of a postdoc is enough for you. That is something that might work for some but not others. Try and think through what is important to you in an advising relationship, and what out of that is non-negotiable (e.g. I would love for my advisor to respond better to emails, but I appreciate the other things they do enough to live with the periods of silence and apparent ignoring of emails. At the end of the day, I know I can count on them to be there when it counts). Can your advisor give you what you need? I personally believe that people don't change, so if she can't give you basic things you need, that's something to recognize. It's no one's fault, it's just a fact. Your needs are legitimate--you should know that--but may simply be incompatible with her way of doing things. If this arrangement just isn't working for you, you might want to think about finding another lab or adding a second advisor who can be more present (if that's possible in your department). Or if it's a Masters, maybe you can decide it's worth it to suck it up and move on; if so, I think being conscious about it helps, so you're not disappointed or upset about things that the advisor might do simply because she is who she is. This can be a process, and I think it's important to do it from a place where you have your broad goals and needs in mind, and not from a place where you're upset about one particular incident. Take the time to really think this out.

Remember that it takes everyone time to adjust to a new environment. This is especially true if you're moving from far away. Combine that with a new educational system that you're not familiar with, perhaps studying in a language you're not used to speaking on a daily basis, different weather, etc., and of course things are going to be overwhelming. The best thing you can do is give it time. For me, it usually takes at least a full semester to start feeling like I understand how things work. Some people take less time, some others take longer. Give yourself permission to be confused and be understanding of yourself when it happens. It's totally normal. In addition to that, also remember that being a graduate student or even having a PhD and being a professor doesn't prove that you are worthy, and not having those things doesn't prove otherwise. Be a student because it takes you further down the career path you want to have, but always remember that your success as a student has nothing to do with your worthiness as a person. You are a worthy person regardless of your status as a student.

In hindsight, I can tell you that all the schools that I had a hard time writing the fit paragraph for would not have been good fits. I had enough sense not to apply to one such school, but I did apply to two others, because I felt bad because I had already told my recommenders I was going to apply there. That was silly. It wasted everybody's time and my money and of course I didn't go to those schools. If it's not the case that you generally have a hard time composing fit paragraphs but instead it's just one particular school that you're having difficulties with, I would conclude from that that it's not a good fit. Even if the thought of having a PhD from there sounds glamorous and appealing, it still wouldn't be a good idea. You have to have multiple people you could work with, if only so that you can form a committee to advise your thesis, not to mention to use their connections and get letters of recommendations when it's time to apply for postdocs and jobs. With that said, I think people can in general be a good fit in different ways. They can be experts in a methodology that I want to use even though they apply it to another domain, or they can be experts in the problem I want to research but have a different way of looking at it, or they can be experts in something that I know nothing about but I have cause to believe could benefit my research, or be experts in something I've never done before but want to start doing. Having options is good, you never know how things will develop. For this particular school, you should ask yourself what it is that makes you so attracted to it. Are there students who graduated recently who are doing exciting research that you hope to also be able to do? Who supported this work? Is there some special innovation coming out of there that you admire? If you really can't identify anyone other than this one professor who excites you, then even if they accept you I wouldn't recommend going there.

You should really consult with your advisor on this. If it were me, I would probably do the following: work on and submit paper #1, based on the first half of the thesis. Post it somewhere online, either on an online repository (lingbuzz, semanticsarchive, or whichever one best fits your work) and/or on my website. Then start working on paper #2. Cite paper #1 as needed in paper #2. The reviewing process in our field can be kind of slow, but so can the writing process, so it's possible that paper #1 will at least go through one round of reviews, and perhaps even get accepted, before paper #2 is submitted. There is less of a risk of identifying yourself as the author if you don't cite the thesis, which will clearly contain the work in both papers, but just the relevant portion of the work that's been reworked into a journal submission. While not different in terms of status, there is still some difference between a Masters thesis and a paper that's been reworked to be submitted to a journal. Meanwhile, another possibility that would make life easier, if you can do this, is to submit the work to conferences. You can write portions of your thesis up as proceedings papers, some of which can be quite prestigious. This helps with the citation problem, and doesn't preclude the possibility of a journal submission. Of course this may not be possible (or fast) to do with the present work, but generally it can be a good solution for getting something out there that people can look at and cite while you are preparing the journal version of the work.

In linguistics it's very common to cite dissertations (and to a lesser degree, MA theses). There are also quite a few influential manuscripts people cite and build on that were never published, usually (but not exclusively) by established folks who have stopped bothering dealing with journals. Whether it's appropriate here depends on why you're giving the citation. You can cite the thesis for additional data or some tangent that your paper can basically do without. As a reviewer I would be a lot less happy if I saw a reference to something argued for in a thesis that never went through peer review, if it's a crucial component of the analysis. In that case, it needs to be spelled out and justified in the paper. This is especially when it's your own argument (as opposed to someone else's unpublished manuscript), in my opinion. In addition, when citing your own work as "see beefgallo (2015) for discussion," there is a concern that doing so will reveal your identity and affect the reviewing process. See for example LI's style sheet instructions on this, at the very top of the first page of the instructions. If you aren't sure you can provide the citation without revealing your identity, consult with your advisors and, if they aren't sure, the editor of the journal you plan to submit to.

I think you are way off. I think your professors know you (as you yourself say), and they have this opinion because they know you, not because they just glanced at you and decided you look young. I've said this before in another thread, but I'll say it again: I wholeheartedly support the advice to take some time off before committing to grad school, to have a taste of the "real world." Grad school will still be there a year or two from now. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. I hope it works out the way you want it to.

If it were me on the adcom, I would consider it a red flag. How much of a red flag will depend at least partially on the wording -- for example, if she says you're not ready for grad school, that sounds different than that you could use more time to refine your interests. We can't really know how much this will hurt you. My guess is that if I saw such a thing in a LOR I would look extra carefully at the SOP to make sure that the applicant seems mature and ready for grad school, because admitting someone who isn't a good fit or who is likely to drop out will just waste time and money that could be spent on someone who is likelier to make it. No one wants to admit someone who will be unhappy and drop out--it's bad for the person, and it's also bad for the cohort this person is in. I'd also read the other LORs to see not only that they don't also raise this concern, but that they explicitly express the opinion that you are ready for school. If your other LORs and SOP all give the impression that you're ready, then this one LOR stands out. If not, then I'm afraid I would have some reservations. (And this of course is just my opinion. The shortest answer to your question is that no one here can know.)

That sounds reasonable. As long as you are friendly and still go out with others, even if you can't eat, I think you'll do fine. People might worry and/or offer you things you can't have, but if you just explain that you have an allergy and you have your own food so everything is fine, they will understand. There is no reason why it should make you seem weak or sick. The one thing to watch out for is that you don't let it exclude you from important activities such as dinners or lunches. To me this is not all that different from not drinking but still going out to the bar with everyone and getting a ginger ale or something. No one will judge you for it, and you still get the important social interaction that these outings are designed for.

What we are advocating for is not two more years (or even one more semester) of suffering, but that you seek out professional help to get you to a place where you're not in this existential crisis anymore. Your professors are indeed not mental health professionals, but Psycherd12 gave you the information above about who to contact at your school.

First, let me repeat what others have said: make an appointment with someone at mental health services ASAP. If five different people are telling you your reaction is worrisome and you should get some help before you do anything rash, trust us that there is something to it. What you wrote here are not the words of a person who is in a position to make a decision about dropping out; they are the words of someone who took a wrong turn somewhere and could use a hand getting back on track. You owe it to yourself to do that, so you know that whatever decision you make down the line will have been made for the right reasons. Second, there is no such thing as skills vanishing! You are being challenged, and it may perhaps take you longer than others to adjust and succeed in this class. Or, maybe it's even true that this class is hard for you and/or is not your thing. So what? There will be other classes you excel at. A PhD is NOT about being successful in all your classes. It's about doing research. Do NOT drop out before even completing one semester. Do NOT give up. Get help. Talk to the professor about possibly redoing the assignments or doing something else to up your scores. Ask what specifically you can do to improve your work. Absolutely no one wants you to psych yourself out so much that you drop out over grades in a first semester class. Do it before it gets any worse, because I guarantee you that your professors want to help, they just don't know yet that there's a problem. If you have an advisor, consider talking to him/her about how to cope with this class and with the stress of graduate school more generally. If you have friends or senior students around that you trust, talk to them, too. As TakeruK says -- and this is very important -- EVERYONE has these moments. Adjusting to graduate school takes time, and everyone at some point will compare themselves to others and feel like they are not doing enough. Seriously, this is so common I have already ranted about it on the gradcafe multiple times. I don't want to do it again here so I will just say this briefly: everyone struggles with something. Everyone sometimes feels like they are not doing as well as everyone around them. Even the most successful people out there have these moments, and believe it or not, they also compare themselves to you. You have to give it time. You have to trust that you were admitted into your program because you absolutely CAN do it. And you have to seek help, because doing it all alone isn't always the best solution.

Of course it's a teacher's responsibility to correct their students. How are they supposed to figure it out if no one tells them? That aside, as I already noted, I have some minimum conditions for how I would like to be addressed, and I don't want to wait for anyone to "figure it out." I'm going to tell them. Again, as noted above, it's nothing fancy or complicated. Just a bare minimum of how one should behave in professional contexts. I understand that for most students this will be the first time they find themselves in such a context, so I'm not upset if they are lacking some knowledge, but I also don't see the point in waiting for them to just pick it up (or not) at their leisure.

Good news -- we write not only for you, but for the many other readers who surf here who may or may not even have an account. I really don't care whether you or anyone else in particular agree with what I say, but I do think it's on the disrespectful side to have a conversation with someone and announce to them that you aren't interested in entertaining their opinions before even hearing them. I hope this is not how you have conversations in person.

^This. "Overhead" is written into the grant in addition to what the PI expects to pay in direct costs for equipment, salary, etc. This is done automatically by the Office of Sponsored Programs, which is responsible for submitting the grant to the granting agency. So if you wrote a budget for $1K of expenses (to keep things simple) and your institution takes 75% overhead, the grant you'll end up submitting will be for $1,750. The rest of the money is made available to the university either by year or as a lump sum by the granting agency, and the PI can access the funds through the university. The PI can either make purchases through the university and pay directly with the money allocated to them through the grant, or they can pay with their own funds and be reimbursed from the grant (this is what we often do when we pay participants in our experiments -- we get cash and then get reimbursed against receipts we show our admin person once the experiment is done). This obviously also varies by school and granting agency. You write a budget with a description of what the money will be used for. There is some leeway, certainly if the research takes you in a different direction than planned then you can pay your RA to follow whatever lead seems most promising now as opposed to what you'd planned before actually doing the work. You can perhaps move some money around and use e.g. more money for equipment than planned and less on participants, but it's not like you can just do anything. You need to show receipts for purchases and you write yearly and final reports, and if you deviate from the plan you need to be able to justify it.

I really don't know what to tell you. I am in a completely different field and don't know which schools you're applying to. Even if I were in your field and had a list of all the schools you're applying to, I still wouldn't know. This is one time where you really need to ask the schools. One way to do that would be to reach out to potential advisors and get their interest, then mention your GPA. If you get someone's support, they can often fight for you to waive stated cutoffs. Another way to go about it is to call the department and ask if the cutoff is really strict or if exceptions are made (and if so, under what circumstances). You can call and not tell them your name, so there is no risk of saying anything wrong or turning them off.

I think it depends on what you want to do after you graduate. If you want to continue in academia, then it's important to have a strong thesis and good grades, and if spreading the degree over three semesters will help with that, then maybe it's worth it. If you're going out into the workforce and you expect your employers to care much more that you have your degree in hand than what your grades were, then graduating earlier will make it easier for you to find a job and start earning money. I don't think there is a huge difference between having the degree conferred in 2016 vs 2017, though it can cause some administrative headaches in some cases (but nothing insurmountable, probably). On the other hand, I think the notion that spreading the degree out more will make it stress free is unlikely, and it's more like "less stressful" but still the last few weeks will be unpleasant, as they always are when you're scrambling to finish something and have a big deadline looming.

There is more in your post to address but TakeruK got most of it so let me just reply to this bit, which I think is the crucial part. Anyone who comes here asking "what should I do?" and expecting that we will make a decision for them simply has the wrong idea about what internet forums can do for you. "Should I be a doctor or a researcher" is a personal decision that no one is able to make for you, and no one here is trying. Your post seemed to suggest that we pretend we can do that, but I don't think any regular poster here is of that opinion. What this forum can do--and is in fact quite good at, because we get people with diverse backgrounds and lots of experience donating their time to post here--and why I assume people come here with such questions, is help them think about the pros and cons. We can bring considerations to your attention that you might not have thought about. We can tell you personal stories that we know or heard about. It is then your job to filter that advice and those stories, consider the source of the advice and whether it's coming from a relevant and knowledgable source, think through (or discard, as needed) the issues we raised, and make your own decision. So I think we can definitely help someone figure out what career path they should follow, by guiding them to think through each choice, but that does not mean that we can (or should, or want to, or will agree to) make the decision for them.

I don't think it's much to expect to be addressed respectfully. Students are going to need to do that in any other professional correspondence they have in their future. Have some kind of greetings, spell out full words instead of using abbreviations and emoticons, tell me what course of mine you are taking, sign your name so when the email comes from "theDude2967584@yahoo.com" I know who I am talking to. I'm not asking anyone to spend hours carefully editing their email, but you should do better than “hey i am sick and couldnt make class today can i pass in the hw next week and my last quiz grade didnt show up online did u correct it yet thx”

What field are you in? It's hard to give an answer that fits your needs without knowing that. I started writing a "if you're in X kind of field, Y is a good course of action" type reply but there are too many if's and most of what I would write would not be useful to you. So, at least tell us if you're in a field where you have to have an advisor lined up before applying or if you apply to the department as a whole and pick a lab/advisor later. In the meanwhile, you should also look into fee waivers, so you could perhaps apply to more than just a couple of schools.

Don't offer unsolicited feedback. There is nothing for you to gain and there is potential of harming yourself. Don't do it in private, and absolutely do not do it in public. Interrupting class to offer your criticism of your program's defense process has about zero chance of going over well.* If you need to vent, go out with some friends who are not from your programs and complain all you want. If you really want to bring about change, you might be able to work it into a conversation with your advisor, preferably by having the conversation started by your advisor and naturally evolve in that direction. I do not recommend doing this, however. Before you do anything, take a cooling off period. I understand you're upset, but as others have noted, there is probably more going on here and it's not about you. The politics are most likely way above your pay grade and not something you can fix by providing feedback to your committee. *If you've ever TAed for a class, imagine a student coming up to the professor after the final exam and complaining about how the exam was structured or the questions were worded. How would that feedback be received? How about if the student brought it up in the middle of class?

It's not just a question of being able to make it through school without burnout, but also a question of getting some perspective. Going from high school to undergrad to grad school without doing anything else means for some people not having a clear idea of what it means to work a full time job, earn a "real" salary, or even what minimum wage can buy you these days. For many undergrads, the first time they will have looked for an apartment, gone to the DMV, applied for a job, etc. will be after graduating, but you don't do (some of) these things as a graduate student. So at least in part it's just a matter of knowing what's out there and interacting more regularly with people outside academia. Personally, I think this is very important, and I would advise everyone to get some more experience before committing to more school and a fairly narrow career path. One more year won't make a big difference if you choose to go back to school, but if you discover another passion, it could make all the difference in the world.

No school I applied to wanted this outside verification. Are you sure it is necessary? All I did was submit my transcripts (from my foreign university) and the universities did their own GPA conversion. As for your questions, I assume the answers depend on the service you choose to work with, and I'm sure you can find the costs on their website.