howbizarre

MFA vs. Human Life I feel the need to say, with all the love in my heart, that this whole thing blows. Perhaps it's because I've never been accepted, so I don't know whether "all this" would be worth it if I were. However, I can say that when it comes to applying to MFA programs, it really takes its toll. Mentally, I mean. I speak for myself, but I assume the rest of you are also human. Anxiety, depression, self-worth, blah blah blah. There is a difference between the positive things I can tell myself about myself and how I actually feel, as related to my submitting myself and my work to be judged by graduate schools. The unfortunate thing is that from the moment you decide to apply until Feb-April, your life is pretty much suspended—you shouldn't buy a house or get a new job or move on with your life, because, though chances are slim, you might be accepted into that dream program, and you'd have to uproot yourself, and move. For example, I am of a childbearing age, but I have decided not to conceive human life until I hear back from these programs, because it would not be feasible to care for a small animal-person whilst also creatively writing for no money, full time. So that's pretty intense, I mean, really! In the decision between MFA v. Human Life, MFA is somehow winning over my priorities, even though I objectively value human life more. I have suspended procreation in service of this process, for which the odds are very much not in my favor. Sad. Curious! And so I reflect: is it worth it? I think probably not, because, again, the odds are not in my favor. And yet I do it anyway. I do feel pretty sure that for those writers accepted to learn under the wings of acclaimed authors, that will be a win. As for the rest of us. I mean, I read someone here binged 17 hours of TV to pacify her nerves? That just sucks. I'm so sorry to hear you're that nervous, and I am too. This is my third year of applying. To be fair, I have only applied to fully funded programs where I genuinely admire the faculty, so that's not a ton of schools, and maybe that makes the selection process particularly selective, but either way, this is some tough shit. To be honest, I never thought I would post on here, though I've lurked. I can't imagine anyone applies to these programs and doesn't lurk. The last 3 years have been a slow grueling process of grinding the exceptionalist asshole out of me. Maybe that makes me a better candidate, but probably not. As for how to survive the next few weeks, I'd suggest investing in your community. Do some service for someone in need, spend extra time with your friends, let them know you love them, and really live where you are. If you own property (grad school applicants, not likely!) do some gardening. Make your living space beautiful. That way, when you're rejected, you won't want to be anywhere else anyway. And if you're somehow accepted, you'll be sad to leave, which isn't the worst thing. That's what I think anyway. Genuine love to all of you, who I am confident are much better than this nonsensical 1-2% acceptance rate. I hope you get in where you want to, but I believe you will go where you need to. That doesn't make ME feel better, but I am right there with you.

Any word about Syracuse fiction? I see some poetry rejections (?)) but nothing about fiction yet. Hoping I don't wait all day to get the standard sadness. Feeling like jello rn