Chasely

I say this all as a straight man. I'm surprised by the manner which the people in your department conducted themselves. I'd be surprised if your university doesn't have an anti-discrimination policy. I bet if higher-ups learned what happened at that particular meeting some people would be called into some of their boss' offices. That being said, I think if you're going to spend a considerable amount at a particular workplace, you need to be comfortable there. It is clear that you are not. It's also important to be able to seek help and interact with your peers, which you are not doing because of the environment of your department. From the little you said, you seem to want to get a PhD. I think you should, but I think you should start looking at other programs that would allow you to do your research. You shouldn't have to remain "in the closet" at work if you don't want to. Other people with more experience on this board may disagree, but I would cautiously suggest talking with your advisor about it. I would check and see if there is some form of confidentiality agreement between advisor/advisee first. I might start with saying that I wanted to continue on to a PhD, but am looking for suggestions of other institutions to do research at. If your advisor asks why, then you have the chance to tell her if you want. Again, this is all advice from a straight guy, so I obviously can't relate to some of the things you're worrying about. I just wish you didn't have to worry about them at all.

Are you already in grad school or not? I ask because of your last criteria. I still haven't narrowed down my research topic, and probably won't for a couple of years. Unless I can get outside funding through a NSF fellowship or something similar, my topic will more or less be dictated by my advisor's projects. There are likely "hot topics" in your field, but you need to ask yourself if they're worth doing. I also think that there is no way to figure out what will get you funding later on in your career. The tenured professors in my department are all getting grants now that are pretty unrelated to their research in grad school.

My dream job is professor. More for the (eventual) independence in research than anything else. I believe that getting a PhD generally offers you more independence in general in your future career. Also, I was bored doing what was considered "regular work" in my field. Do you enjoy your job right now? It only took me a few months to realize that I didn't want to be an "Engineer I, II, III, etc" or work in consulting engineering in my field. It's an important job, but it doesn't provide me satisfaction. Am I being stuck up, snobby, etc? I don't know, but getting a PhD is something I really want (and almost feel I need) to do. Also, great list Fez

What kind of laptop are you getting? Unless your customizing it, chances are you'll be able to get whatever you want in a store. As for furniture, I think a lot of stores will do same-day delivery as long as you order by a certain time. the Ikea by me does this on Saturdays. Where are you moving to? That will make a large difference in knowing the availability of stores and resources around you.

I guess it depends on the difficulty of the courses. I am taking three courses (no TA requirement), but one of the courses is very competitive. I think you should ask your advisor and other grad students in your lab their opinions. Assuming your not incredibly smarter (or less intelligent) than the rest of your cohort, following their lead would probably be the best course of action. That TA requirement seems like a killer though.

I think the best app for annotating PDFs on the iPad is PDF Pen. As far as how that would work into your workflow, I'm afraid I can't be much help. I generally save everything to Dropbox so that I can work on it and have my saved versions show up anywhere on any computer.

17" laptop? That hurts my back just thinking about it. If your purpose is to take notes and write, then a netbook is the easy winner. I'm sure there are applications besides Adobe Acrobat Pro that you can use to annotate and take notes on PDFs. I'm a Mac guy, so I don't have any specific recommendations, but I would try to optimize portability and battery life. Perhaps go for a slightly bigger screen if you plan on using it for longer periods without breaks.

This is a toughie. I know a little about your field, I'm in a related discipline but on the more computational side. UC Davis has one of the best water resources engineering programs in the country, and Stanford is Stanford. I will note that there is some feelings in my academic community that Stanford's MSE programs are a "money mill" that accepts far too many students. I don't know how well-founded these opinions are, but they come from professors with a lot of experience teaching in a few very good programs. However, if your ultimate goal is to get a PhD, then it's pretty hard to say don't go to Stanford, especially if it's being paid for. If your ultimate goal is to do your PhD at Stanford, then doing your MSE there gets you familiar with the professors you'd' be researching under, and that's an obvious advantage. Also having Stanford on your MSE (as long as you do well) gives you a slight advantage when applying to other PhD programs if you want to go somewhere else. I wouldn't worry about competition, it may be a pain but it will only make you better. Do you plan to go back to Kuwait when you're finished with your degree or stay in the US/go somewhere else? If you're going back home, name recognition may matter and Stanford has an obvious advantage.

For your math-specific questions, it might be a good idea to check out the Math & Statistics sub-forum on the site. I'm just starting too, so I'm "along for the ride" like a lot of other people on this site.

I think I'm the only PhD student entering my group this year. In general, the concentration area is fairly small (6 professors). I will be in a lab with (I think) four other people. Since they've "been there, done that", it seems like their won't be much of a competitive environment and I'll really be able to learn a lot from them. One of my peers just won the Fullbright fellowship, so I'll definitely be picking her brain!

I rarely watch anything on live TV anymore. I download all the shows/episodes I want to watch and watch them when I want to. It's nice because then the entertainment is on your schedule. Want to watch that episode starting at 8:12 in the evening? No problem! It means that you waste less time in commercials and waiting for your shows to start.

Just gave my boss notice of my last day (5 weeks from now). I've got plenty of work to finish this month. I can imagine that last week or so is going to be very difficult. I've given myself two weeks to prepare for the fall. I hope that's enough time. We'll see.

Will your department provide you with a computer? I don't know if it's common, but depending on your concentration one might be provided to you. Since your laptop is so new I would just get a copy of Windows and install it on Bootcamp. Depending on how much hard drive space you need, I would probably spend a couple hundred bucks and get a SSD (hard drive) to replace your current HDD; it will make everything seem speedier. You can find good ones on sale for under $1/GB. I'm not sure if the older MBP have SATA III or not, so I would find that out since you can get SATA II drives for cheaper. For getting a copy of windows, check out if your department/school is part of the Microsoft Academic Alliance. You might be able to get a legitimate copy of Windows 7 (usually Professional) for free. An iPad in conjunction with a Mac and Dropbox make it really easy to go paperless, but I don't think it's worth spending the $500 for entertainment. You already have a good laptop that can do almost everything an iPad can. I don't have an iPad and I'm not even sure I would get one if I had the money. I have an Air that's nearly as portable.

By reading that document, was this application the last cycle to get in on the fellowship? There's no request for funds for new fellowships in 2013. Or are they not requesting funds due to politics?

+1 to this. Almost every program I have looked into does not require an MSE to apply to a PhD. You'll end up getting your MS along the way if you don't have it already.

I don't think the jealousy would last. For me it would be more like "I wish I had that direction when I was your age, I was too busy doing X (insert worthless thing here)." I don't know how your program works. For my future program, it doesn't seem cutthroat, more communal and helpful, as if we'll be working towards a common goal (mainly, getting our adviser what he wants when he wants). I think that's more a function of who's in the program though. Did you get a good sense of that during your visit?

I would hope that your future advisers would respect you based on your intellect, not your age. There probably will be a couple of awkward moments you'll have to deal with, like when you first get there in the fall and your colleagues want to go out for a drink, but don't worry about that. You colleagues might be a little jealous of you. If you were coming into my program, you would be finishing up at the same age that I'm starting.

I bought a desktop last fall for my last year of undergrad, as well as for some fun. However, the reason I bought it was so I could run engineering applications on it that I wouldn't be able to do on my laptop. The reason I use the desktop though is for the monitor. I bought a 24" monitor, and I will only work on my 13" laptop if I have to since the extra space on the monitor makes working so much easier. If you don't need the computational power of a desktop, I would advise just getting a laptop and an external monitor/keyboard/mouse and work that way.

I would just copy the POI on the email you send the graduate director. It's no work for you and makes them not have to hear it from someone else. If I were to have to receive bad news, I would prefer it be straight from the source. Everyone's different though.

First, congratulations! Having to make a choice is way better than not being able to make one! A couple assumptions I'm making: You're first choice is NYU based on the comments from your aunts. That's an awesome school. You're doing a masters degree, since there was no talk of funding. Assuming these are true, I would pose these questions to you: How much debt are you going to accumulate during your degree? What is a reasonable starting salary for MS clinical psychologists? What kind of financial shape is your grandpa in? And would you be okay with your grandpa paying your loans until you get a job after school? Notice that I just touched on the money issue, the rest of the concerns are BS (NY is not more dangerous than most places). Also think your aunt is a hypocrite re: your grandpa. I do agree that the talk of "settling" probably has more than a little bit of jealousy in it. You should not have to "settle" when you have such great opportunities in front of you.

I lived in Kerrytown, and did enjoy it very much. It's within walking distance to pretty much everything you need. I'm an engineering student, so I was able to catch the buses to north campus with a few-minutes walk. A good two bedroom apartment in Kerrytown is going to run you at least $1200/month. Sorry, that's just the way it is. And you should start looking right now. Craigslist is your best friend. I created an RSS feed for places that would interest me, but I also checked CL multiple times a day anyway. Depending on where your husband will work, parking could be a PITA. You do have to buy a street permit for the Kerrytown area now. This keeps students going to classes from parking in Kerrytown. I don't know how much it costs though, we moved a few months before that went into effect. A lot of places will allow a cat, it's fairly common in that area. We moved out of Kerrytown because we felt that we weren't getting enough for our money. We ended up moving to the northwest side of town (off of Pontiac Trail), and ended up paying $1200/month for a 3-bedroom with a yard (I like to garden!). Although we do miss the convenience of Kerrytown, I can still take a bus to central or north campus (the AATA bus, not U-M's bus), it's even quieter, and we feel that we just have more "us" space. Good luck in your search and reply if you have any more questions.

I have a 13" Macbook, will upgrade to a 13" Macbook Air (or whatever other shenanigans they release) this summer. I prioritize weight, size, and hard drive space over performance. I don't really have a primary computer. I use the laptop for mobile work, and a workstation when I need to run models or do other demanding computer work. When I'm working in the office, they both go to a 24" monitor (1080p). I used to have a 15" laptop. If I were working only on the laptop all the time, the extra 2" would make a difference, but I'd rather plug either into the external monitor while working.

I applied to and am attending Michigan's PhD program (environmental fluid mechanics).

It may not be allowed in your program. If I am working, I'm only allowed to take a certain amount of credits. I would check to see if your department has that. You of course could not tell anyone, but they may be very unhappy if they find out.

Just sounds to me like the risks (having to switch advisors, possible time lost on thesis) outweigh the benefits (sex and companionship). If one very attractive man asked you out, chances are there are probably plenty more very attractive men (with possibly better professional ethics) at your university who would like to date you.