EricaMarie

This. What was that about a high limb and a short rope? Must not forget the liquor....

I don't want to scare anybody here, but Columbia's status form states that my application is complete and at the department. I submitted my application on December 13th though, so I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that the department has my application. And I tend to agree with gradwoes. Honestly, this is a thread about status updates. We are all very aware that, since many applications were due on December 15th, the schools would have a backlog around the holidays, especially since most places have been on vacation. There's no need to be snarky about something that we are all worried about, and to be honest, it's kind of rude that you would say such a thing when we are all concerned about whether we are going to get into a program or not. We are allowed to worry. It's not nice to be rude about it.

LOL. This is awesome, and gave me the first real LOL I've had in days....Thank you.

American University technically offers rolling admissions, but if you want funding, you need to apply by January 15th.

A bit, actually....it's not stopping me from freaking out at the moment, but it's making me feel a mite better...thank you.

What's really hard for me right now is the fact that I just got my fall semester grades....I got a C- in one class, and my thesis class is *technically* an incomplete because it didn't get sent to the readers within the Graduate School itself...I know that's okay--it happens to pretty much everybody at my school, especially under my thesis advisor, as he doesn't send it to the Graduate School until it's *perfect*--but I'm still freaking out that this is not a stellar semester. I had my reasons for it (my grandmother was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer before the semester started, so I spent most of my time with her while she was going through chemo and whatnot) but that's really probably not gonna fly...shit. I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get into a program... /hyperventilates

" This. It's actually why I changed where I was applying in some cases. A professor at my school warned me that a majority of college professors got their degrees from a handful of schools, most of them "top-10." He worried that I wouldn't be able to get a job once I finished my Ph.D. and persuaded me to apply to schools like UPenn, Yale, and Johns Hopkins, as well as state schools like UConn and CUNY. Whether we like it or not, the name on our degree makes a difference.

I'm currently reading both Sue Grafton's Kinsey Milhone series and Tess Geritsen's Rizzoli and Isles series on my Nook. I'm also reading Jim Butcher's Codex Alera series. Oh, and whatever I need to read for my thesis revisions. Joy.

I've decided to start working out again. If nothing else, bitching about how much I hate it will make the time go faster....I hope....and make it so that my winter depression doesn't overtake me, especially during this waiting period.... This sucks.

I'm trying to stay positive, but I keep feeling like I've wasted three months of my time applying to programs that are just going to laugh at my application and throw it in the garbage. All I want is to get into a Ph.D. program and I'm terrified that I'm not going to get in anywhere. My significant other asks me "what will you do if you get in everywhere?" and I have to tell him that the likelihood of that is so low that I don't even want to think about it. He loves me, but I don't think he gets it. Although, he is wonderful in the simple fact that he believes unconditionally that, not only will I get into a Ph.D. program, I'll get into more than one so I'll have to make a choice. From his mouth to God's ears....

To be honest, I feel like the hardest part right now is knowing that my future is not in my hands. For the next three months, I have no real control over my future. That sucks.

I plan on focusing mostly on revolutionary era America. I'm writing my masters thesis on the point at which the American Revolution actually began, and I wanted to focus on some constitutional issues during my Ph.D. I had wanted to work with Carol Berkin--my thesis advisor knows her well, and recommended her highly. Unfortunately, she has told me she's not taking any more students, as she's retiring in two years, so I'm kind of stuck there. Do you have any recommendations for me?

I read. A lot. Of TRASH. It's really the only thing I've found that makes my anxiety dissipate. Anything that does not require me to think, has no real meaning to it--just trash. It helps me, anyway.

I'll be finishing my MA this coming May. I'm in the process of finishing up my thesis as we speak (well, not RIGHT this second--I'll be all over that again in the morning), so I don't really have anything else I could do after I finish this except a Ph.D. program. It's why I'm so worried about it.

I've only ever wanted to teach college level history. That's it. That's all I want to do. Sure, there's the research and the "publish or perish" and I can deal with all that, but I want my Ph.D. so I can teach. My parents seem to think my getting a Ph.D. is a waste of time, and don't understand why this is so important to me, when I can just "teach high school." Apparently, I'm "doing it wrong." Everyone my mother has talked to (at a community college one town over) has told her that I'm doing it wrong, and should be getting a job after I graduate in May, and give it time before I apply to a Ph.D. program, because that's how I'm "supposed" to do it. All because she had a friend who didn't get her Ph.D. until she was 50, because she was teaching high school first. So my mom's friend's path automatically has to be mine. As if that wasn't bad enough, my mother has thoroughly convinced EVERYONE ELSE in my family that I'm wasting my life, and that I just want to be a "permanent student" and that I should be getting a job after graduation instead of getting my Ph.D. so that I can become "a productive member of society." Because, apparently, I'm not one of those, and I shouldn't be bettering myself because, you know, she didn't. A bit of backstory--my mother didn't start college until I was four. She had me only a year after she graduated high school, and went to college because now she had a baby and needed to. Apparently, my birth is the reason my mother (still) doesn't have her masters degree (although she's working on it through an online university). When my mom realized I was serious about the masters and Ph.D. program, she started to get really nasty about it. I'm assuming it's because I can go to a Ph.D. program right after my masters because I don't have children so I can do what she couldn't. I think my mother is jealous of my accomplishments and is doing everything she can to make my life miserable because of it. I'm really dreading Christmas Eve/Day, because I know it's going to turn into an argument over "why don't you just get a job and stop being a drain on society?" with random interruptions by my aunts, uncles, and grandparents telling me the same thing. I hate my family sometimes. I don't understand why they don't realize how important this is to me, and I really don't understand why they think it's okay to make me feel inadequate about going into a Ph.D. program. I wish I had never told them I was applying, because, while I still wouldn't have familial support, at least I wouldn't have this constant familial disapproval and disappointment.

...After seeing other people's GPAs and GREs, I am now officially scared out of my mind that I just wasted four months of my life applying to schools that will look at my application and laugh at me...But for giggles.... Yale UPenn Columbia UVa Johns Hopkins Boston U UConn CUNY Graduate Center GPA: 3.35 Major GPA: 3.35 GRE: 500v, 600q, 5.5aw 600v, 570q, 5.0aw Applying to programs as an early American historian, focusing on late colonial, early republic....and feeling quite inadequate now...

Right this second, I refuse to have a Plan B. For me, having a Plan B means I'm planning to fail at Plan A, and if I'm already thinking I'm going to fail, why would I bother trying? That view may change in the next span of time, but as it stands now, its Plan A or bust.

I'll be 26. I started my undergrad at UConn and wasted two years doing something I didn't want to do. Ended up at my current university to finish my undergrad, which took four years. When I graduated in May 2008, I wasn't ready for a Ph.D. program, so I stayed at my current university for a masters in history. Three (grueling!) years later, I'm ready to graduate and move on with my education so I can join the wonderful world of academia!

Honestly, I wish my family would ask me if I got in anywhere. They seem to not quite comprehend how important getting accepted is to me. I think my mother is praying that I don't get in anywhere so that I can "get a good job and become a productive member of society. You can't be a student forever!" I'm so tired of it. I almost wish I hadn't told any of them what I was doing. Then at least I wouldn't have to worry about them constantly telling me I'm useless for applying to programs now.

Bad day: "She's not the right fit here. Not a bad application, but nothing stellar. Moving on." Seriously bad day: "Seriously? She thinks she can get in here? Seriously? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA1!!!! Oh got that's great! Oh, I needed that...Moving on to a real candidate to get into this school..." ...I don't really have all that many good days right now. Too paranoid.