EricaMarie

Back when I first sent in all my applications, I had a run of dreams where I was told that I was rejected because my applications were incomplete, so I spent an awful lot of time checking my online applications to make sure they were complete. Last week, I got an email from one of the schools I applied to stating that they were missing an extra document and my GRE scores....nightmare come to life!

I'm not sure if it's better or worse for my sanity that my email gets pushed to my iPhone. Better because I'll know one way or the other no matter where I am, and it cuts down on the waiting (I think). Worse because if I do get a rejection via email and I'm in public, that wouldn't be good. Also, it means that my heart goes pitter-pat everytime the email notification goes off...

Victoria's Secret

park place

This is slightly off-topic, I know, but for the sake of not sounding ignorant should the topic arise again-- What exactly is queer history?

information overload

I don't have a plan B. I was one of those people that believed a Plan B meant setting yourself up for failure by planning for it, so I just didn't, because I was confident that I'd get in somewhere. ...I'm starting to regret that decision, as now I'm afraid that I won't get in anywhere, and won't have a plan B to back me up.

beyond belief

So.....when did you invade my thoughts? Because I was thinking exactly the same thing.

This is a hard one. I think they're both equally heartbreaking, but in two very different ways. You can get over the heartbreak of a significant other. You can move on from that and find someone who will be better able to support you in all your decisions. The heartbreak of getting rejected everywhere is different. That's your career. To be rejected everywhere would, I think, give me a feeling of extreme failure. Like, this thing that I've wanted all my life and worked so hard for--I'm not smart enough, or good enough, for. It's an extreme feeling of failure (I think) that would be really difficult to get over. For me anyway. So....getting rejected everywhere would be worse.

Ouch.

false words

That sound you hear? That's the sound of my hope flying away. ...I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. I decided to be an early Americanist from the outset. I wasn't pigeonholed into it at all. Once I settled on history as my undergrad major, I knew I would be doing early American history, because that's what has always called to me. However, realizing that maybe 5% of applicants to UPenn would be accepted, I'm not feeling very optimistic about my choices in life. Maybe I should have gone for that MLS after all...

Aw hell. Now I'm even more anxious than I was 10 minutes ago.

"Well this just means you can get a real job and become a productive member of society." <------my parents, I'm sure.

"Just one school with funding, just one school with funding." That's been my mantra for the past two months. Now that we're probably going to be hearing back relatively soon from a number of schools, I'm getting so anxious it's not even funny. I'd like it to begin for me now, please!!!

If what happened last year on the results page repeats itself this year, I should know in the next couple of weeks....and that makes me all kinds of anxious now. Hell.

Paper airplanes? I like those...

I've chosen to take Intro to Photography and University Band this semester, in addition to my 6 credits of history, so I'm hopeful that the two extra classes will help keep my mind off the fact that my future isn't mine to decide right now.

I saw that too, this morning, and it doesn't fill me with hope for the future, especially considering the well regarded masters degree. Hell, I got my undergrad degree at the same state school I'm getting my masters at. The only hope I have is that they'll look at my application and say "well, she's from the school on the other side of the tracks from ours; let's let her in cause she went there." It's a rumor around my school that if you keep a specific GPA throughout your MA program, Yale "guarantees" admission. I doubt it's true, but it keeps me warm at night.

My school, thankfully, doesn't do traditional thesis defenses, so I don't know how bad it is, but I give you all my good wishes that you get through it!!

Not gonna lie--really glad I didn't end up applying to Princeton. I applied to too many Ivies as it is, it feels like.

I'm currently revising my thesis for submission to my university's graduate school so that I can graduate in May. There's also the Organization of American Historians annual meeting in Houston in March, which I'll be attending. With a bigger bag this time, as last year I left my house with three books and came home with 20.

white wine

Then you've got an entirely different set of issues, I'd say!