Mr. Tea

Here's another important question: If this POI tells you not to contact, doesn't update info on his site, and gets pissed at you for asking, how much is it worth entering into a 5+ year professional relationship with him?

Opinions will diverge, and I know it can be intimidating when you've had zero contact and are excited at the possibility of working with someone whose work you respect, but my opinion is that you should send a quick email saying that you noticed on his site that he was accepting students last year and wanted to check and see if he is also accepting students this year as well (this serves a second function as a non-critical way to remind him to update the site).

3.45 GPA is fine if your GREs are good. I don't know about clinical/counseling programs but research experience and dissemination (conference posters, publications if possible) are helpful in other programs.

For any job or school you apply to, the organization or school wants to know your levels of ability and motivation.

In the academic statement of purpose you get to demonstrate your ability by discussing how your past experiences have equipped you with skills that will allow you to succeed in graduate school and as a professional psychologist (e.g., research experiences, conference presentations, or whatever else may apply), and you get to demonstrate your motivation by discussing your career goals (e.g., research interests) and why the program is a good fit for you. The academic statement of purpose will be important but drier, which is just fine.

In the personal statement you have the option of demonstrating your ability by telling a story about other areas where you have had success in life, but overall I think the most important thing is to demonstrate your motivation by sharing an experience that helped you discover that you want to pursue a career in psychology. I suggest that you tell a story about one general experience (i.e., don't give a comprehensive personal history). Was there something about your military experience that led you to want to pursue a psychology career? Was there something about the differences in local political systems in the places you've lived? Think of the personal statement as personable (note: not sloppy) rather than "fluffy." You're letting the selection committee get to know you as a person and giving them a break from the other parts of the application process.

Your military experience and multi-country living experiences sound like great content for any diversity statement. "Diversity" can really refer to anything about your life history that makes you stand out. That part of any application is tough to write, so I recommend searching online to see how others have approached it. I found that was helpful last year when I was applying.

Sometimes "recruitment weekends" are informal interview weekends. For one school I received a call from a prof telling me that I was accepted prior to their recruitment weekend. For another, there were over a dozen of us invited to a "recruitment weekend" and the school ended up giving offers to four prospective students. For another, I had a visitation weekend (couldn't make official recruitment) but it seemed more like they intended to give me an offer before I arrived (I withdrew my application before this happened because I heard back from my top choice). Pre-acceptance interviews are becoming more common because there is generally less funding available and a large pool of talented applicants, but they aren't universal.

As a general note, and to put it bluntly, don't be arrogant and don't be an asshole. Everyone or almost everyone who is invited to an interview weekend is highly qualified. My strong impression is that an important part of the interview process is to find out which of the qualified people are assholes who no one wants to work with for 5+ years.

Sometimes "recruitment weekends" are informal interview weekends. For one school I received a call from a prof telling me that I was accepted prior to their recruitment weekend. For another, there were over a dozen of us invited to a "recruitment weekend" and the school ended up giving offers to four prospective students. For another, I had a visitation weekend (couldn't make official recruitment) but it seemed more like they intended to give me an offer before I arrived (I withdrew my application before this happened because I heard back from my top choice). Pre-acceptance interviews are becoming more common because there is generally less funding available and a large pool of talented applicants, but they aren't universal.

As a general note, and to put it bluntly, don't be arrogant and don't be an asshole. Everyone or almost everyone who is invited to an interview weekend is highly qualified. My strong impression is that an important part of the interview process is to find out which of the qualified people are assholes who no one wants to work with for 5+ years.

Three possibilities I can think of off hand, all of which may apply:

1) The other programs anticipate that you will get a better offer elsewhere and will not accept if they offer you a position.

2) You spent more time on the application for your top choice and it shows.

3) Your research interests probably fit better with your top choice program than with your other programs.

Also, how many schools did you apply to and which schools were they? Admissions are extremely competitive everywhere so if you only applied to four schools and they were Stanford, Harvard, NYU, and Yale, that doesn't help.

Just saw my rejection at Ohio State posted on the website, in case anyone else applied there and has not checked yet. I'm pretty okay with it. It's a great school, but it was probably the worst fit in terms of research interests among the programs to which I applied.

My strategy for university fit was to research some of the work done by professors at the university and mention specifics. You don't have a lot of space so keep it brief. E.g., "My research interests in [X topic] fit well with [Y professor]'s. I am especially interested in her recent work on [Z topic]." Or "When I had [A class/experience] I became very interested in [b topic], which matches [C professor]'s work on [D topic] well."

Don't take a shotgun approach. The department has to read through tons of SoPs, so they will appreciate it if you write something shorter and strong (if they provide a word limit feel free to meet it or fall short). I also looked for unique opportunities that certain departments offered. For example, I am applying to psychology PhD programs and it is very uncommon for them to offer a decent amount of stats courses. If they offered stats courses on new topics, I mentioned that as a compelling reason for choosing their university. Or if they mentioned that there were opportunities to take marketing courses I mentioned how this is a good fit for my interest in social psychology interventions because many intervention strategies overlap with marketing strategies. I think mentioning specifics about two or three professors (more if you want, as long as you don't go too long and you're being honest) is most important, and if you find unique opportunities offered by the program, mention one or two of those as well.

Think about it this way: if you turned to a romantic partner and asked, "Why do you like me?", what would you want to hear? "You're hot?" "You're smart?" "You have a good sense of humor?" These are all flattering and they apply to many other people than you. I want to hear, "I really like it when you talk about the things you're passionate about. I may not always understand everything you're saying, but I'm really attracted to you at those times." "I love that you always laugh at my dumb jokes and that you make me life, like the time you said/did such and such." These are communicating the same information, but they are personal. They describe the unique ways in which there is a good fit.

Lots of programs will fit a profile that will be good for you, and you have multiple good options. Explain how each one uniquely meets what you're seeking, even if all of them meet it in different ways.