[Sometimes, I feel unprepared]

I'm starting grad school in the fall. I was an 'Apples' major in undergrad and I'm going on to study something like, 'Washington Apples and Grapes'. Just different enough to make me very scared. (I even have to take some undergrad courses in order to graduate -- that's how little I know.) I don't really know what to do about getting ready for school, but I'm going to contact the grad student administrator for some past syllabi over the summer.

[Grad School or Job with Benefits]

I appreciate the difficulty of your situation, especially when I read you have a family.

Is your wife's job enough for your family to live on while you're in grad school? A stipend doesn't get you very far. How good are her benefits? How young are your children? These are all questions I am sure you are asking yourself.

Like an above poster said, how much you enjoy your job is a consideration. I think for many people, grad school fulfills a long term goal, employment-wise, whereas a job with benefits now fulfills a short term goal -- basically staying alive in this economy. Grad school can open doors, but perhaps not right away. The question is whether you can keep afloat when you're pursuing your PhD...

I'm choosing grad school over my job fairly well-paid secure job with benefits, but I don't enjoy my position very much and I don't have a family. We're in completely different situations, and that was a hard pill to swallow for me. Good luck.

[Getting off the Waitlist]

I was waitlisted at UW-seattle for their MSW program on March 21.

Got accepted :) off of it on April 21!!!!!!

All was in email format.

I sent in my updated transcripts and another letter of ref, so I think those helped me out!

Sends yours in to help. It never hurts to try.

I feel so blessed.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEART OR HOPE!!

CONGRATULATIONS! Put a smile on my face before this long four day weekend of no emails.

[Waiting it Out on Canadian Universities]

Thanks to everyone!

Keep up hope. It's not over until the fat lady sings.

[Mutual attraction with professor, but I'm still not separated...]

I've always thought that if you don't understand men, you are thinking too hard.

Hilarious!

There was something Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets... something about when he tries to think like a woman, he does what a man would do, but he takes away all reason and accountability.

I don't know if that's offensively funny because it's true or because it's so NOT true. But I like his delivery!

Anyway, I think this is a fascinating discussion. OP, can you check back in with us?

[LOR thank you]

Would a simple email thank you be considered disrespectful??

Normally, no. But I would try to hand write a card in your situation, as you're going to them again for more letters. I was in the 'gifts for my LOR professors' camp, but if it was inappropriate in my situation (if I didn't know one of them well), I would've gone with a card rather than an email. A card is just so much more thoughtful without being overwrought with emotion, methinks.

BUT: When I gave my gifts out, I included a typed note. My handwriting is horrifying. Something to think about.

[Study Fetishes]

If we are in the quiet study part of the library and I can HEAR the music coming out of your earphones... you need to turn that shit down. I will physically come over and tell you if you haven't noticed my death stare.

Also, don't dance to the music.

[What were you doing when you received your acceptance?]

I finally get to post on this forum! First admit.

I was at work and doing something so inconsequential I can't even remember it -- probably filing my latest expense report. I saw my blackberry blinking and the source of the email was "artsgrad" and then I looked at the subject line: "OFFER OF ADMISSION." It happened so fast I didn't even have time of process it, I just opened the email automatically and saw the best word ever..."CONGRATULATIONS!".

I celebrated by getting hives and throwing up in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. I had five twizzlers, an apple at lunch and two bottles of water throughout the day and throwing that up was horrifying, but I had a smile on my face the entire time...

[Waiting it Out on Canadian Universities]

Want to share a bit of good news -- got into U of Ottawa today. Yes, it's LATE, but it can happen! Don't lose hope. Good luck everyone!

[Getting off the Waitlist]

I'll add my (still developing) story as a ray of hope. Got my two rejections pretty soon out of the gate, and heard nothing but silence from my third. I eventually broke down and called and was told that if I hadn't received a letter by now, then I could assume I wasn't getting one. Then on Tuesday I received an email asking if I'd be in a position to consider an opening if one came available. I said yes and have been unable to do much but check email for the last three days. I checked in today and was told they are waiting on two people who have been accepted and have not responded--but they put a partially funded offer on the table for me. I'm still waiting to see how it pans out, but think positive for all of us!

Also, in the meantime, help me find the focus necessary to write the preface for my MFA thesis!

Great story! Good luck to you. Hope you make it out of this alive; I can't imagine the state I'd be in. I imagine someone having to physically sit on me.

[So how did April 15th treat you?]

I've accepted one offer, but I'm still on the wait list at my top choice... Apparently, I should hear back by the end of next week... Is it ethical to stay on a WL after you've accepted another school's offer...

Probably not, but I can't say I blame you. I'm speaking as somebody who's on the waitlist for her top choice, by the way. It would be absolutely crazy to accept your safety, give up your spot on the waitlist for your top choice, and then find out that there was significant movement on the waitlist and you COULD have gotten into your top choice and changed the next few years of your life -- or maybe your entire life, as reputation of your PhD school matters a lot in academic job-hunting. I don't know. This is a thorny question.

But I will say this -- please don't stay on the waitlist for another school when you have accepted at another school for VERY long. I mean, at least give someone a shot at a spot and stand by your decision to accept at another school, where you have a spot.

JMTC, of course.

[So how did April 15th treat you?]

It's almost the end of the business day on April 15th!

April 15th doesn't mean anything to me because I'm Canadian with applications in at only Canadian schools, but I'd love to hear your stories/ eleventh hour victories.

Did you make it off the waitlist? Did you decide on where you'll be for the next 5 - 7 years of your life? Did it pass by with nary a whimper?

These stories feed my soul, so please, share.

[Waiting it Out on Canadian Universities]

I need some advice, because obviously I'm not thinking with a clear head these days.

My POI from my first pick program notified me that they can't make me an offer due to lack of funding (aka someone better got it grrr). After a couple exchanges back and forth, she wrote "We can't promise anything because queen's rule is 18,000 minimum per year for 4 years, it is impossible to create promises before funding packages are in place. If you have other offers that have deadlines, I suggest you take what is secured; but if you can wait, that's great, too."

ok so obviously I'm hanging off the last bit - but since I have not heard from my last school, should I email her and ask her if I'm on a waitlist? Or how to improve my application should I reapply next year... or is silence golden at this point? I really don't want or need to be that pesky applicant. <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">

The pertinent question here is: how long ago did your POI email you the bolded bit? If it's been a few weeks, I say ask, ask away, whichever question you wish to ask. Even if it's only been a week or so, I'd probably still email. It's not quite crunch time yet, but it will be soon -- I should think (hope) anyone involved with the PhD admissions process would understand that applicants need to know whatever information is available so they can plan their LIVES.

I really think that worries about being the pesky applicant at this time are unfounded, so long as our emails or calls are polite and not insane sounding. Like I said above, we have to plan our LIVES based on their decisions. I desperately want to hear about whether I've made it off the waitlist so I can sign an apartment lease, leave/stay at my job, etc. This decision will shape my life for the next year or few years. Isn't it understandable that we want to know?

Good luck, andiepants!

[Still Have Not Heard From Canadian School]

There are lots of applicants to Canadian schools still waiting here. To get the best answers, I'd name the school you're waiting for so people can respond.

Don't lose heart! History shows (on the results board) that we don't get notified until April or May sometimes, and it has no bearing on our acceptance.

[Who else has still heard nothing from a school?]

I'm in the exact same boat. If it's a no, just tell me so I can start searching for a job. Last I heard my program was arguing about money, and there's no results on the results page. :/

Me three. I didn't realize a late February deadline would slow everything down. Everyone else around is either celebrating or down in the dumps, and I'm just staring off a precipice, waiting....waiting. Blargh.

[Waiting it Out on Canadian Universities]

I don't have much to go on as there doesn't seem to be any applicants to Women's Studies at York here (past or present). Except for the one person who submitted their rejection on March 25th....

That's the only bit of hope I have, drowned the rest of it with whiskey, chinese food and bad b-movies.

Not a whiskey drinker myself, but I've been eating a lot of jelly beans and chasing them with beer. (I've created beer-flavored jelly beans!) If I'd never known that American schools have an April 15th deadline, I think I would've been fine. I'm just sort of bitter about Canadians not having the same sort of agreement, but happy that most of the people on this forum will either be ecstatically happy or put out of their misery tomorrow.

[Waiting it Out on Canadian Universities]

Do we still have any chance at this point?

Yes.

[Getting off the Waitlist]

Bumping. Any other success stories? I'm sad.

[Mutual attraction with professor, but I'm still not separated...]

Also, if he is making advances to you right now, I think you should reconsider your relationship aspirations with him. While I agree with the above poster that stranger things have happened and there's nothing really wrong with having a (carefully considered) romantic relationship with a former prof or supervisor, if he is not respecting this boundary that exists in a very real and important way right now, that's a problem.

I agree with this too. Boundaries.

Just wanted to share: when I was younger, I was doing a summer internship in my field and was incredibly attracted to my direct supervisor. It seemed that he returned the feelings, and many a fun time was had as we lightly flirted and talked. But I was in a relationship and never considered anything beyond flirting, even though he was incredibly attractive. Plus, he was ten years older than me, and while that wouldn't be a huge deterrent now, I was 19 at the time, so I was very technically a teenager.

About a week before my internship was over he asked me to dinner -- which, as far as I could tell, was a date. I turned him down the best way I knew how ("Dinner? I have dinner plans with my boyfriend, would you like to come along?" Not the best way in hindsight, but I was young.) Surprisingly, I was completely skeeved that he actually acted on it and couldn't look at him for the final week of my placement. The horrible thing was was that I wanted to return for another summer, but knew he was going to be there too, and couldn't bring myself to do so.... I still don't know why it was okay to crush on him in my mind, but not OK to actually date him. I think it was because of our difference in status, and of course my relationship, which he fully knew about -- even more questionable.

It turned out OK -- I got another internship the next summer and managed to turn that into gainful employment after my undergrad, but I wish that I had acted differently at the first internship, so it could have remained a possibility. Never forget that even though he may be a former professor, you could still have to cut ties/ give up a professional opportunity if one of you isn't completely mature about it. In my case, it was me. Oh well. Lesson learned. For me, it was: have crushes -- you can't help them anyway -- but there's a huge difference between reality and fantasy!

[Mutual attraction with professor, but I'm still not separated...]

An unhappy marriage can play tricks with your perception of close relationships.

Chime. Triple Chime.

This sounds like a pickle. I must say though, and I'm just using this as an example: have you ever seen a case of sexual harrassment when the harrassee tried to bring charges to the harrasser? (I'm not saying that it's like harrassment for you -- talking about harrassment cases in general.) I've seen it in my workplace, and I saw how tough it was for the harrassee to prove the case without an email or anything in writing. What I'm trying to say is that attraction is a lot like harrassment cases -- almost impossible to prove beyond a gut feeling. In your case, how sure are you that he is attracted to you? How CAN you be sure?

Bottom line is, I wouldn't proceed until you are SURE, especially considering your as-yet dissolved marriage. If you go forward with this situation AFTER you have graduated, and it's not as you think it is... it's not going to be pretty, especially considering how small academia is and the fact is you sometimes need letters from former profs/colleagues.

That being said, if there is way to make absolutely certain he is attracted to you, it could end up well. Stranger things have happened, and you only live once.

Of course, I don't think there is a way to make absolutely certain that he is attracted to you. Men are confusing creatures. If you proceed, it will be a risk, and a large one. Coming from someone who has always crushed on professors, I wish you well. Is there a way just to use this crush to make you happy? I've always thought having crushes livened up my day!

[Waitlisters: How often should you contact DGS for an update on movement and your status?]

So what if I haven't emailed the school at all yet? I haven't heard anything from two schools. I strongly suspect I'm wait listed. Should I just continue to tough it out until next week? I worry I may have missed a postal letter (although I'm 99% sure I haven't).

Hmm. I'd call/email the schools. What if you did miss the letter? Stranger things have happened. I think it's best to confirm everything. Luck!

[Waitlisters Paradise]

Any Canadians out there want to start divulging?

[What does April 15th mean for Canadian applicants?]

Yea, its just another day. I was given an April 21 deadline by U of Toronto and a later deadline by U of Manitoba. It is complicated if you are applying to both US and Canadian universities.

Good luck!

Thanks for the info. Would you mind me asking when you received your acceptance letters for the above schools? I'm trying to gauge how long after the acceptance letter you're supposed to accept or decline formally. My school is about two weeks after they send out the acceptance letter.

[Waitlisters: How often should you contact DGS for an update on movement and your status?]

I would definitely say wait another week. Even though the Canadian schools don't participate in the April 15th deadline, they might wait until then anyway. Do you know where on the list you are? Just one more week then email or call.

I... can't... wait.... that .... long.

I know where I am on the list, and even if it doesn't sound good the Director says its OK. Should I wait until the 15th, or a week after the 15th!

Either way, I can't wait that long! I need someone to sit on my hands until I am sane again.

[What does April 15th mean for Canadian applicants?]

Hi all.

I'm Canadian, so I'm pretty sure the April 15th deadline doesn't apply to my schools. (I've been waitlisted at my top choice, unofficially rejected by my second, and have heard crickets from my other two schools.)

Any Canadians out there? What has been your experience with April 15th? Do schools observe because of American applicants, or is it just another day that they DON'T notify us?