studentaffairsgrad

I'm one of those people who very frankly doesn't care what so-and-so said yesterday, who's sleeping with whom, what the current department scandal is, etc. Having lived in a major metropolitan area for a long time, I just wasn't socialized that way -- it was considered pretty lame/gauche to care about what strangers were up to in their personal lives, to say nothing of talking about that kind of thing in mixed company, where I came from. I prefer to keep my nose to the grindstone, if at all possible.

But you're right: if you don't put in at least some face time with the drama kings/queens, you do get a reputation for being a "snob" or, worse, pathologically shy or reclusive. Eigen's also correct in pointing out that academia thrives on this stuff. I look at it this way: academia is a little like a Greek system for people who never would've been accepted to a frat or sorority. It's where bookish, slightly awkward nerds go to finally have their own little social club. The status games may be played according to different rules, but played they are, and on a very small playing field. Might as well have some fun with it. Just stop short of getting involved in the nastier stuff where lots of money is at stake, try to avoid tarnishing your own rep too much in the process, and you'll be fine.

Drama is a part of life- whether it's at school, your job or with your friends....I don't think it's possible to avoid it if you have human contact. It's best to start to learn how to interact with people who like drama/gossip, because you can be around it but not engage in it. In fact, you're probably the type of person that these people need- someone grounded enough to show them that there's more interesting things to discuss than personal lives.

So true...I don't TA, but work with undergrads a lot and will be supervising a staff of them soon. Humor is what I use to connect with them. I use self deprecation too - it helps to show them that you don't take yourself so seriously, and I think they will respect you more for it. Just don't over do it - fine line there.

Also, I would suggest being more strict when you start out with your class, and see how it goes. Everybody wants to be laid back and cool, which is ok if you have mature undergrads who can handle it. BUT, if you have immature undergrads and you let them run wild at the beginning, it is soooo hard to reign them back in when you have a Lord of the Flies situation going on. I would say be more structured at the beginning, and see how they deal with it. Give them a little more rope as the quarter/semester goes on, and if they hang themselves with it, pull back. If not, then you can ease up

Good luck!

That is frustrating.

I was surprised at how much burden was put on my (the applicants) shoulders during the application process. It seems like sometimes the people in admissions don't realize how stressful this is. They had a ton of conflicting information on their website about application materials, and it was somehow my job to call all the different offices and get it straightened out. Apparently you have to do all the leg work to find out your decision too - they told me I had an assistantship, and would find out in a few days what it was. 2 weeks later, I finally got the grad in the office to tell me which one it was.

I can sympathize. Hopefully you will find out soon!

1.) Where do you see yourself in x amount of years?
- Even if they give you a specific number of years, make sure you describe where you see yourself both in the short-term span (this will show you are realistic) and in the long term span (this will show you have high-reaching goals.) You don't want to roll in there looking unrealistic, or like a slacker.

2.) Why do you pick this program?
- Pretty straight forward, just be honest. Pick specific things about the program that sets it apart from other programs. For example, "This program really stuck out to me b/c while it has great academics, it also has a lot more opportunities for practical experience than other programs out there."

3.) Why do you think you would be a good fit for the program?
- This is a chance to brag on yourself a bit. Also, let them know what makes you unique compared to the other hundreds of students applying. Tailor your talents to the specifics of the program.

My last piece of advise...don't be arrogant about it, but try to think along the lines of you are interviewing the school as well. You want to let the interviewer know that you want to make sure the school is the right fit for you. Do this by asking discriminating questions...what sets this school apart from other programs? How has this program evolved over the last 20 years in its field? What is this program doing to stay competitive? Some people might disagree, but I went into my interviews with the attitude of, look, I know my qualifications, and any school would be lucky to have me. I want to make sure they are worthy of my talents. I know it sounds arrogant, but it made me feel less nervous to look at it as if I was the one interviewing them. Be confident, but not arrogant. It is a thin line. My interviewers even mentioned that they found my confidence appealing. If you have faith in yourself, they will put their faith in you.

The worst thing you can do is go into an interview being unsure of yourself. My program did an interview weekend, where you were with other candidates the whole time. Some people can get intimidated, and get down on themselves when they hear other applications bragging about their amazing qualifications. Know that 1.) They are all embellishing and 2.) If they really were that amazing, they wouldn't feel the necessity to brag about it. They are only bragging b/c they know they are lacking. Just nod and smile.

Just know that you deserve the best education, because you are a talented, intelligent person, and you will rock the interview

Keep in mind when reading this, I am in a higher education program, which means that my SOP focused on different things than say someone in the hard sciences...maybe some others in the social science area or education will find this helpful.

Luckily I had a very competent practitioner in the field who had gone through the same program look over my SOP, b/c after she did, I realized what a mess it was. Getting an assistantship in residential housing was very important to me, and I feel into the pitfall of trying to talk about everything I did working as a resident adviser, and how much I wanted to work in housing, blah blah blah. The person looking at it said. " That's nice you want to get an assistantship and have done all of these things in housing, but you need to get into the program before you can get the assistantship." She reminded me to think about who my audience was (professors) and write about what kind of student I would be in the program. THE LIGHT BULB WENT OFF!

I finally realized that it was important to include things in my SOP that can't be listed on a resume (like my RA accomplishments). Things that will help the reader get to know you as a person. Things like - what drives me, how have my perspectives of student affairs changed through my experience, what kind of supervisor do i strive to be (supervision is important in student affairs), what are my values, etc.

If you think about fields like higher education and other similar ones, these types of careers depend on your abilities to communicate effectively, make split decision judgement calls when the rules aren't always black and white, supervise others and help them to elevate themselves, etc. So for this reason, I think it is more important in these areas to communicate who your are as a person, and your personal philosophy. Certain skills can be taught, but a number of characteristics of a successful practitioner in this field are inherent, and can't be taught. You need to convey to the reader of your SOP that you have these important foundational characteristics on which the program will build.

Also, while it is important to provide some specifics as to what you want to pursue (in my case, housing) mention you are open to other opportunities, as you don't want to close yourself off from other interesting opportunities and experiences. Hope this helps!

The crate is temporary. That's what I've known people to do who are in process of training puppies. A trained dog never needs to stay in a crate when you're gone.

Still don't see how even what you described is worse than dying. I'd take being locked in a cell over being killed anyday.

+10 - adopting through a breed rescue group also allows you more control over what type of dog you get, as well as allowing you to get an older dog as opposed to a puppy (needs less attention). A lot of well-trained older dogs end up in rescue when their owners die or move, so if you're not dead-set on a puppy, it's the way to go.



Um...okay, I'm in general against euthanasia and all that, but for breeds prone to (or any individual dog who develops) separation anxiety), being locked in a crate all day with no contact is cruelty. Abuse.

Once you've seen furry sweethearts who have beaten their snouts and paws bloody trying to chew and claw open their crates day after day, who have eaten holes in solid-wood doorframes trying to get out of the house to find their owners but left everything else in the house completely pristine, you might start to rethink that.

PhDPharmacist, I certainly can't judge you, in fact, I know what it's like more than I let on. Aside from the harmless crushes I've had on male teachers, I got really attached to a male superior while I was in the Peace Corps. If I could use only one word to describe the 2 year "relationship" between us, it would be torture. Most likely not for him, but definitely for me. He must have picked up on my feelings to some extent, but probably didn't have the whole picture put together. We had a friendship of sorts I guess, he paid me more attention than the other volunteers under him, we certainly had a more personal relationship than we should have had. What exacerbated the whole thing for me was that I was in a foreign country adjusting to life there away from everything I have ever known and out of nowhere came this awesome person who was just right there for me...I mean it was his job to be, but he and I connected on a personal level immediately and I was smitten right off the bat.

So the problems were these: the two of us getting involved would have been unethical and threatening to our jobs, I was never really sure how he actually felt about me, he was a citizen of that country and wasn't even remotely interested in leaving, and the kicker was that I wasn't even sure if he was straight...sigh. I also couldn't understand really what it was about him that got me so hooked, he wasn't what we'd consider very attractive, he was much older, and we were total opposites in terms of lifestyle (he's a social butterfly that needs to be out and about all of the time at bars and clubs and that's just not me). To this day I can't figure it out, maybe it was just that I needed someone like him at that particular point in my life. But the torture part of it was that I craved his attention, we didn't/couldn't see each other often, but when we did it would just make me fall harder for him and then afterward I would go back to my routine feeling let down that nothing happened. I came to really want to be honest with him and just tell him, but I was much too afraid to do that, I came close once but didn't follow through. I also came to think he was sending me mixed signals and I would contemplate and fixate on these things in order to extract some sort of clue to his feelings...I hated myself for allowing this to go on and as much as I loved having him, my superior, as a friend, I really wished I didn't have to deal with it because life was hard enough there.

But as time went on and certain things happened or didn't happen, I began to realize that he could not have felt the same way about me, and for my own sanity I started to find relief in that realization. Towards the end of my service I actually began to resent him and my feelings definitely changed into embarrassment and shame that I let myself get so attached. So I didn't try as hard to contact him, I wasn't as overjoyed to be in his presence as before. Our last conversation we had before I left the country was him telling me that he noticed I wasn't as open with him the past few months and he didn't know what happened, I felt the tears well up in my eyes because as emotionally difficult as it had been with him, there was a part of me that still wanted to just blurt it all out...but I just told him that I couldn't really talk about it and my reasons didn't revolve around him (not true obviously), I knew it would be for nothing anyway, I wasn't staying in that country and he wasn't coming with me...I was so happy and overjoyed to be on my way home that almost immediately the impact he had on me faded away. And now, 2 years later I think of him and basically cringe, I'm completely indifferent towards him, we haven't been in touch for a while, there's really nothing to say and all in all I'm glad I kept my mouth shut. He goes to DC every so often for work and being that that's where I will go to school he'd certainly expect to meet up...good god, I can't even imagine what that would be like. So the more you avoid him and consider it impossible the faster you'll get over him, might take a while, but it'll be worth it to finally be free of that attraction.

The tone was what struck me about it, too - so friendly, especially for The Chronicle!

And I hear you - I'm so ready for things to get moving, if only to squelch the anxiety of anticipation. Though I'm sure after it starts I'll long for the days when all I had to do with my days was to sit in a coffee shop or front porch, read, and work out.

Glad you all liked it!

I know, that title sounds juvenile, but bear with me here. I feel strange in the sense that I have a crush (hate this word) on a classmate of mine, mostly because I don't even know him that well and because what I do know of him seems so opposite of anything about me. Frankly, I don't even know how the heck I even have the mental capacity to feel anything but exhaustion during class, and why my mind has chosen to keep my sights on this fellow is way beyond me...at least 10 years older than me, not single, lives several states away. When I spell it out like that, I don't even understand it, but my mind is kind of doing it's own thing, it seems.

I'm not concerned - I tend to get fleeting, superficial crushes like this from time to time (had maybe five in undergrad alone) that disappear almost as oddly as they appear, but geez I want to kick myself in the head for even envisioning my classmate in any sense besides professional. I seem to have some kind of weird intuitive sense as far as crushes, in that I can feel immediate attraction to someone without knowing anything about them, we become friends, and after a while of knowing one another in the platonic sense, the guy will confess feelings for me. Very weird. But thankfully, there seems to be no desire from him to become more than just classmates who make idle chit-chat now and again, as opposed to folks whom I consider to be genuine friends in my class.

The larger part of me is glad things are as they are now, but there's that one little nagging part telling me there is something special about this man I want to find out more about (and also being discontented that that intuitive feeling is wrong for the first time). Any psych majors here who need a subject? Like I said, I know this will pass and I will in no way pursue anything, but damn it's going to bug me for a while, in part because I don't even know why I'm feeling like this.

Not sure where I'm going with this topic...I guess if anyone wants to share similar stories of love in class? Two weeks of cramming and minimal sleeping has made me a little loopy and I'm not sure I know what I'm talking about.

Since we are all in different programs, let me give you a little background my situation before I get to the question...apologies if I am being too thorough in my explanation.

I'm going to grad school for higher education (student affairs) in the fall. Everyone in my program HAS to have an assistantship. If you aren't offered an assistantship, then you don't get into the program. The assistantship interview is weighted way more than the faculty interview. An assistantship in this field could range from academic advising, to Greek life, to housing, to hundreds of other things. The way interview weekend was set-up at my program, was you get a list of assistantships, apply to the ones you want, they pick who they want to interview, then you preference your top 3 choices.

Housing is always the most competitive, b/c they come with a free apartment and meal plan, a much higher stipend, as well as free parking. Also, a lot of people going into this field were like myself, former resident advisers, and they want to stay in housing. I believe about 5 times as many people interviewed for this position over all the others, and preferenced it as their #1.

I got picked to have a housing assistantship. I'm super excited, but over the course of assistantship interview weekend, I remember a lot of people talking about how they really wanted this position...some people even freaked out and cried b/c they were worried their housing assistantship interview went bad.

So, a Facebook group was started for my cohort, and I noticed some of the people who were making the biggest deal and being dramatic about wanting a housing position DID NOT get the position. Just to illustrate the desperation...at one point after the interviews, one guy who was near tears said, "I need this position. I live and breath housing. If you cut me, I will bleed housing." Um, yeah.

I've been thinking about how this is all going to play out come fall, and I'm wondering if any of you think that jealousy/resentment will be a problem. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I know I wouldn't be too excited if I got stuck with one of the other assistanships. On top of everything else, the 5 housing grad assistants all come back a month before everyone else. I'm sure some type of bond will form, which might be intimidating to the rest of the cohort when they show up weeks later for orientation. I just don't want the, "Oh look at them, they think they're better than everyone else." crap to start.

I'm not the kind of person to rub it in, or talk about my assistantship 24/7...but I'm not sure about the other housing GAs. Do you guys think I will have to deal with jealousy? If so, any advice? I know few of you are in this field, but maybe something similar or relate-able has happened to you.

Just wondering if it's normal for professors to say "I wrote this paper" when you really wrote it or to take credit for work you've done in other ways by submitting the paper with notes written about "the author's" experiences, excluding any mention of you?

Anyone have any such experiences?

Just Me...I do agree with you, perhaps it is better you quit this thread...and maybe quit posting all together. Again, I see no effort by you to make your situation better...again, you are just complaining. You get no sympathy for me now. Unless your mother held a gun up to your head and forced you to go to school, you have no right to be demanding sympathy from people. I am even kind of wondering if your mother is as terrible as you make her out to be...people who love playing the victim always have to create villains that they can blame their shortcomings on. I'm coming to this conclusion because of the unfair characterizations you are making of the employees at your institution, solely because you feel the need to blame someone else for your problems instead of yourself.

Well, I didn't intend for this topic to turn into another armchair psychologist/me-bashing topic...I was part gripingabout my own situation and part asking people what they don't like about their program or school. Which I think is a legitimate question.

The way I see my situation is kind of like how parents arrange their children's marriage sometimes (maybe not so much in America)...they do what they think is best for their kids (which may or may not actually BE the best) and force them to follow that choice. It might be a lousy choice and a useless one, but if you refuse, they just push and scream and do everything in their power to make you do things their way until it just simply is easier on your sanity to do things their way and get it over with. Personally, I have nowhere I can go (yes, I did check...no shelters within driving distance, no friends with space), no job, no money, no way to get on welfare for a short time to get on my feet. Basically, I got nothing, and it seems one of the requirements for living at home is to go to grad school. IMHO, those who feel it's just as easy as "get up and leave" have never ever dealt with abusive, controlling parents - it's far easier said than done. The more I fight, the worse I feel...because putting up a fight simply prolongs the abuse since, in the end, the result is the same as it would be if I just did what I was told. So yeah....pointless to try and live my own life at this particular moment in time.

But anyway, I will just have to assume that every single person in the world has a picture-perfect grad school with absolutely no problems whatsoever and no one has anything bad to say about it...not even about the workload, class time, tuition costs, writing a thesis, etc. I'm sure.

Even the director of my program said that a master's degree is not necessary to find a job in art...I may tell that to my mother. Not that it'd make a difference since she's right about everything (or so she thinks), but it's worth a try. Anyway, I think I will be abandoning this topic since people have chosen to focus their comments solely on something unrelated to my original question and I'd prefer to not be the verbal punching bag. I get that enough outside the internet.

I know several people like you, who constantly insist on playing the victim. Until you stand up and take responsibility for yourself, you probably will continue to fail. It's impossible to succeed when you blame others for your failure.

Many people on this forum have attempted to help you and give you advice, which you have ignored. At this point it is difficult to feel badly for you when you insist on doing nothing to help yourself.

This may be harsh, but I have never been able to feel sympathetic towards people who do nothing to help themselves. As a strong, independent woman myself, I have never been able to put myself into their shoes and understand their thought process.

Well at $150 an hour (since they aren't "regular" professors at this school - just there to teach certain classes once a year), then yeah, I'd say they are. I can't think of any college that would discourage someone who is enrolled from staying there, honestly. Once they've got their claws in you, they want you to graduate so they can get their money's worth out of you. If one person out of a thousand goes on to get a good career, then hooray - reputation points for the school. The other 999 who end up working at Blockbuster and McDonald's? Ehh, who cares - the school got its money and that's all that matters. That goes for pretty much any program, be it undergrad, master's or doctorate.

My mother has always believed that college degree = $100K. Doesn't matter what kind of degree or what field. She believes this because her coworker's daughter went to college for something or another and earns a six-figure income. Well, since I didn't get the coveted hundred-thousand dollar job a year or two out of undergrad, she decided it was for my own good to go and get my master's degree in art. Knowing full well I don't want to teach (thankfully she doesn't pressure me to do that). What she fails to realize is that if I list my degree (and possibly degreeS) on any joe schmoe job application, I will most likely be overqualified.

Oh, thought of another thing I hate: Saturday classes. That's more of a minor peeve just because I like sleeping in on Saturdays if I can. And travel costs for the semesters where I need to go to here or there, shell out for hotels and food on top of the damn tuition. Since I'm totally just made of money like everyone else in the program. :rolleyes:I do like one thing about the school...free coffee in the art building (and it's very good). That's about the only redeeming quality. Even the professors who I've told I am enrolled against my better judgment try to encourage me to stay (yeah - greedy pigs want their $$$).

Ahhh I remember you...You're the one who couldn't stand up for yourself enough to distance yourself from your mother and not attend grad school. You were doomed from the start. You likely would have hated any school you went to simply because you were being forced to attend.

You have control over your own life. Don't expect us to pity you for the decisions you make.

My school definitely has its share of things for me to be annoyed about. These include:

- Takes three years to get a MFA (seniors say we have to take on a doctorate-level workload for a master's degree)

- Financial aid office ignores all loan applications because they expect you to fill out their special little form (I was eligible for $20K in loans, but the school would not give it because it was a federal loan. Meaning you can only get private loans here)

- Amount of work. Program claims to be for working professionals, but I hardly got everything done and I don't even have a job.

- People who are not only master's upperclassmen, but who have real jobs in art who make mediocre final projects. How can these people have such crappy skills and get hired? I hate to sound arrogant, but I know my skills surpass some of my classmates' skills, so why don't I have a job?

- Just a rumor...due to working people being unable to meet deadlines, the school is allegedly not letting anyone who works full-time enroll. This does not effect me, but it seems unfair.

- Cost in general. $4700 per semester and $500 for two weeks of food?

- Worthless classes like art history. Methinks this is just the school's way of squeezing a few more thousands of dollars out of everyone each year.

- Need to have an average grade of at least a B in each course.

- My major is set up in such a way that you cannot quit and come back.


I know a lot of those are money issues, but hey, I don't have any money whatsoever. And when I can't get a loan, it becomes a big deal. What about you? What goes on at your school that you hate?

Aw man, so much negativity. Try not to focus on this things you don't like. Laugh it off, move on.

I haven't encountered anything displeasing enough to write about yet.

Look at it as if you are interviewing the program to see if it is a good fit for you. Some things I asked...

-What makes this program different from others in the same area?

-What has been some of the biggest changes in this program in the last decade?

-What is this program doing to stay competitive in the field?

-Where do you see this program in 10 years?

- Ask about job placement and internships/assistantships if applicable

-Discuss the areas that you are interested in, and ask about research if you are interested in that too

-Ask what kind of characteristics the professor looks for in his/her students

The only reason that any gun exists is to kill something, and certain (many) guns these days only exist to kill human beings. Killing is the SOLE PURPOSE of a gun; it has absolutely no other reason for being in this world. In the words of Stephen King, "what else can you do with a gun? Use it to light your cigarette?" All rhetoric and politics aside, it is this reality that chills me sometimes.

Your arrogance, although subtle, continues to show more and more in your posts. You seem to feel superior to your classmates, so much so that you believe your in-class questions are "unintelligible" to most of them.

I've been raised to never wear sweatpants out of the house unless I'm going to or from a sports game. The way you present yourself to others, in my opinion, shows your level of respect for that person. The time it takes to do your hair, put on make-up and put on a presentable outfit is worth it to avoid seeming disrespectful. And while I could maybe understand not having the time to do your hair/make-up, it does not take any longer to put on a pair of regular pants as opposed to sweatpants. That's just lazy.

Like I've said before, there is no cut and dry formula. Regardless of the formula you propose, I'm sure many humanities admission committee are happy with the way they do things. They are qualified enough to know who belongs in their programs or not without fussing over a ridiculous formula that isn't fool proof.