habanero

Not sure how I should be feeling about this.

Exactly. Perhaps people want to over complicate things because it is a big step in their life, and each action demands some grand gesture. Unless you're an exceptional candidate and the department went out of their way to recruit you (read: did they do anything they didn't do, or wont do again, to another candidate) a simple email suffices.

But hey I'm sure someone will come along and tell the OP what they want to hear: personalized hand written cards (perhaps scented) expressing deepest regrets and the hope that this doesn't completely shatter their graduate program.

Agreed. Thankfully that's not what I said. . .at all.

The only way one burns bridges with the customary "Thank you for the opportunity but I've decided to go elsewhere. . ." email is if the person you are responding to is pretty petty in the first place. If an applicant had more of a connection that warranted just a "teensy bit extra" in the email, by all means have it; however (at least from the mouths of faculty I've spoken with), applicants run the risk of saying the wrong thing or simply expounding on things they don't need to.

Now this is a situation that would merit a more in depth explanation of why you've decided to travel elsewhere. The person you've spoken with has obviously invested more than the average amount of time in getting to know you and your suitability for their program and working with them, and has connections to people already in your network (which isn't out of the ordinary, but if you're talking multiple connections. . .)

I would pow-wow with your current advisors, or whomever is writing your letters and ask them - since they seem to know these professors personally/professionally - what might best be the approach to take with each of these professors.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

While I do agree that your email may be appropriate for the program admission supervisor, I think that it'd be best to put a bit more effort into the emails to professors. They spent a lot of time trying to get us to work with them. I don't see this as overcomplicating the situation; we should certainly keep a good working relationship with people who will be our colleagues.

I accepted an offer at a school, and now I need to decline other schools! What is the most respectful way to do this? I found a few other threads, but I'd like to get some new & fresh ideas.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

While I do agree that your email may be appropriate for the program admission supervisor, I think that it'd be best to put a bit more effort into the emails to professors. They spent a lot of time trying to get us to work with them. I don't see this as overcomplicating the situation; we should certainly keep a good working relationship with people who will be our colleagues.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

Ha, I missed the part about where the quote is about decision making. My bad! Sorry. I'll leave the post up for you all to enjoy anyway.

I agree that a simpIe email to the program as a whole is all that is required, but think it is definitely a good idea to email all the POIs and to tell them that unfortunately you will be declining the offer. I would thank them for their time and mention that you really wanted to work with them and hope to see them at conferences. It may not be completely necessary, but it is good to build connections in academia no matter what some of the other posters have said. These people may be on a hiring committee or in a program you would like to do a post-doc, so it always good to follow up and thank them.

There is no negative tone. It is simply me not shining you on; you asked for opinions, I gave you one which you reject out of hand which lead me to conclude you don't actually want opinions just validation for a decision you have already made. Nature of the beast.



I amended my recommendation to be more in line what you were seeking. . .did you not see?

I agree with the OP that your posts in this thread have been pretty negative. I don't think the OP was trying to get advice to send "handwritten scented cards" as you suggested in the last post, but to get some advice of what to say to POIs from a rejected program. I think it is bad advice to tell someone that a professor that they have been in contact and accepted them to work with will not want to hear from them. As we all know grad school is extremely competitive and often professors in a program will only pick one or two students that they would like to work with and will suggest them for admittance. Professors often spend a significant amount of time fighting for certain students and it would be unwise to not send an email thanking them for their support and telling them of your final decision.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

ANDS!: I am sure you mean well, but many of your posts seem to have a severely negative tone. I was drawn to TheGradCafe.com for the supportive and positive environment. I think that many other posters feel the same way about this forum. In the future, I would prefer that you refrain from responding to my posts if you cannot be cordial.

Well then by all means, craft personalized emails for these instructors you have had these substantive conversations with who I am quite sure will remember you in 5 or 10 years.

While I do agree that your email may be appropriate for the program admission supervisor, I think that it'd be best to put a bit more effort into the emails to professors. They spent a lot of time trying to get us to work with them. I don't see this as overcomplicating the situation; we should certainly keep a good working relationship with people who will be our colleagues.

While I do agree that your email may be appropriate for the program admission supervisor, I think that it'd be best to put a bit more effort into the emails to professors. They spent a lot of time trying to get us to work with them. I don't see this as overcomplicating the situation; we should certainly keep a good working relationship with people who will be our colleagues.

I doubt you're going to get any "fresh" takes on these because the consensus is the same:

"Dear so-and-so,
Thank you for reviewing my application; however I have accepted an offer from University X."

There is no reason to over complicate it, and likely whomever is in charge of grad admissions is just going to check mark your name off and move on.