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It doesn't sound helpful to her OR you that you are sharing so much of the process with her. Unfortunately it seems to be adding unproductive stress for both people. I would just tell her after you decide where to go and not have any more discussions...

Feminism is basically wanting equal respect and equal rights (politically, economically, career-wise, socially, etc) for women, the same rights that men have. Corrupted- Not sure what there is to reject about that concept. gr8, I don't think that is a fundamental tenet of feminism..... (from my understanding)

So, true story, I had a friend in college who overall was well adjusted, normal, smart, etc.... EXCEPT when it came to relationships. She had major issues here. She was constantly insecure and sad about finding a boyfriend, if she didn't have one she would get emotional and ask "what's wrong with me?!?" and wonder if she would be forever alone. And she was pretty jealous of others' relationships, and could not be genuinely happy for them. She just couldn't. I think she would get happy when friends' relationships ended. This aspect of her was pretty messed up but otherwise she was a nice, capable girl. In the end she met this guy and got married and has a really healthy relationship. Now her life is basically awesome. It worked out for her and maybe it can for you. I think her life pre-husband would have been a LOT better though if she could have been happier on her own and not have been wasting so much time sad and insecure before meeting him.

I always just thought it was a cheap crappy beer. I've only ever had it a couple of times. I've never heard of it being popular... maybe I just don't know any hipsters. I did just Google to see what you might be talking about and found a Huffington post article saying exactly what you are, that hipsters like PBR. I don't have any feelings about hipsters.

Very interesting question! I guess how people define "mature" will affect their answers and of course life experiences can make people mature earlier or later. There are a lot of factors, one is getting a handle on basic life skills you need in the world- such as paying bills, taking care of yourself (medical appointments etc), feeding yourself, financial stuff, etc. As well as the car insurance thing you mentioned . Not that learning about car insurance is a rite of passage, but if you don't know something being able to figure it out/ask around and get it done without relying on parents etc. As more responsibility is put onto you, you're forced to figure these things out and get more confident w/"adult things". I had this mostly figured out by 23. Also, there is emotional maturity. Even some adults don't have this... To me, it is being able to see the big picture, putting yourself in others' shoes, confidence in oneself. Another aspect is just "feeling" like an adult. Despite having basic life skills figured out, I didn't "feel like an adult" until 24-25. I think it's because in college (18-21) and my first job (22-23) I mostly socialized with people my own age, within a few years. At my first job out of college us recent grads all socialized together. Then in my 2nd job out of college I was the youngest one at my job by far and starting socializing a lot more with older co-workers. And most of my friends were getting married etc. So in addition to learning how to be self-sufficient, getting more life experience and getting out of a social group limited to people my own age.

In the past 1-2 years my facebook newsfeed has just been filled with pregnancy announcements, pics from baby showers, babies, etc from people I went to high school with. I'm not ready for it yet- I'm busy in a fantastic grad program and living with my also-student boyfriend... I really don't have the time or money for it at all. And I am enjoying my life overall and the freedom of not having baby-related responsibilities. But somehow still envious, in a small part of my brain.

For me I know I'd rather wait one more application cycle if it meant the possibility of getting in to a program in the same location as my SO, and I'd hope my SO would be willing to spend more time on the job market to find a job in a city with me. In the meantime either of us taking up a less-ideal job. That vs choosing to spend multiple years apart. I know in some situations like places with no research labs at all it would be impossible to make it work there. I'm not trying to be judgemental against anyone personally. I know it is a choice a lot of academic people make. Just not a choice I think I could make. I hope I never come to the point where we can't make location work.

For those of you who aren't yet doing long distance but are considering it (ie in the school/job application stage): why not work your career around your relationship instead of the other way around? If you're committed enough to not want to break up, then don't even go into a long distance relationship. If you're going to be apart for multiple years, what is the point of the relationship? (If it's a short set of time apart with a defined end, then I can see it being worth it). Find a way to make it work in the same location. If not now, you two will have to figure this out down the line. I doubt it gets easier for these things to work themselves out.

I don't have cable Keep our heat at 65 and wear layers I cook meals at home. I only make 1 meat dish a week, otherwise use cheaper options like beans. Bring lunches... at most once per week I will buy lunch out. Buying lunch is more expensive and less healthy than a packed lunch. Never buy coffees etc. I bring a thermos of coffee w/me each morning and a large bottle of tap water for the afternoon. I always go out for drinks w/people - don't want to miss out on socializing- but only get one drink if I'm paying. My school has events/speakers where they provide coffee/snacks, occasionally a dinner etc. I take advantage of that

In general, for me I dress casual (but try to look put together) and NOT sloppy. Typical is dark jeans with a nice but casual sweater (or blouse/cardigan combo) and flats. Instead of jeans- khaki or olive pants etc. Sweats/leggings I have never seen.

I'm glad the approach worked well for you.

My opinion is that bringing an iPad to show data is unnecessary and would seem weird. My faculty interviews were pretty short so definitely no time to get into the data.

Be prepared to talk about your research. Start with the big picture of the research (eg Disease X using Mouse models) then a few statements getting into more details and finally what your own role is. It really helped me to practice this little speech (not word-for-word memorization or anything) so I didn't get jumbled and look like I didn't know what I was talking about. They might ask you why you want to go to that school so be prepared to answer that. They might ask you about your future goals so be prepared to answer that. If you know who is interviewing you- then looking up their pictures helps me mentally prepare and de-stress .

I'm female. For my interviews last year I went more formal- Business skirt, blouse, jacket, nylons & short heels. Small jewelry. For the interviews I cared less about I also brought black dress pants and a nicer sweater and black flats so I could decide that morning- in 1 interview I ended up wearing this outfit. Either outfit would have been fine. The interviews also varied in how dressed the other candidates were: in the more "formal" ones I was in the middle of the pack, but there was one where I was the most dressed up. I'm just more comfortable dressed professionally.

Check out Brown- both MCB dept and Pathobio dept have concentrations in Aging

epistudent: Thanks for the reminder that it will be OK!! I definitely want to do it, and just have these panic moments of "what the heck am I doing?!". bamafan: Of course I don't spend my whole salary; it won't be a lifestyle adjustment for me at all in terms of spending. But I do currently put a significant amount into savings and retirement account, which is important to me and will be seriously harder if not impossible to do on 30K. It was more a question of is this a good life/financial choice, not whether I would be able to continue a shopping addiction.

I've been interviewing for basic/biomedical PhD programs and beginning to get stressed out about this decision. I have a good job in biotech, doing interesting work and learning on the job, both in terms of technical knowledge and industry-specific skills/experience that will help me in the long run. I do feel somewhat limited by the lack of PhD, in terms of career growth. The work I'm doing is very applied, so while I have a good grasp of the subject matter I'm in, I have a significant knowledge gap as far as the basic science that is the basis of the field I'm in (if that makes sense). Basically, I am really knowledgeable/experienced in a very narrow and applied field in biotech and know very little outside of that, even in very related fields where an understanding would be helpful. And having the PhD "degree" would help me advance. So I was pretty confident in my decision that I need a PhD to be where I want career wise. However now that I'm attending interviews, I am getting stressed when I think of the paycut I may be about to experience. Even at my non-PhD level I am making twice of what some stipends are. Is taking a huge pay cut, guaranteed for the next 6 years, a rational choice?? If I was completely miserable at my job the choice would be easier I guess. For those working before grad school, how did you bite the bullet and do so?

I am thinking about in the next 2 years applying for my PhD for Micro. However my husband is currently applying to PhD programs all over the country... so by the time I apply we will already be settled in a new place. How reasonable would it be for me to expect to get into a PhD program while not having to be long distance?? In other words, I would only apply locally. I believe I am a very competitive candidate. If we were in NYC I would have several of schools to apply to, but if we end up somewhere where there is only one university.... I might be stuck. Any advice on what I should do? We do not have children.