TakeruK

Yes, this is typical. In my program, we always have to be enrolled for 36 units every semester (a class is generally 9 units, because it represents 3 hours/week of lectures plus 6 hours/week of homework). So, during coursework phase, most students enroll in 18-27 units of courses, and 9-18 units of "independent study" or "directed research" with their advisor. We apply for candidacy once we complete coursework, and after candidacy, we enroll in 36 units of "Thesis Research". I'm taking an extra class right now, so I'm enrolled in 36 units of "Thesis Research" plus 9 units of my elective class. This is kind of symbolic---it's showing that I'm taking this course as "extra" and that it won't cut into my research time. But it's also practical---if I decide to drop this course, I'll still have 36 research units and thus keep my full time student standing (which is required to receive funding, and for international students like me, required to keep my foreign student status). I know you are just looking for experiences right now, but ultimately, every school is different and you should make sure you clear your plan with your advisor

Sometimes. For two of the programs I got rejected from, I saw people reporting interviews, then people reporting decisions, while all this time I heard nothing. Then, a few weeks later, got the official rejection email. Oh well. For others though, other people got notifications while I got nothing. Then a week later, they called to say I was accepted! When I visited, they apologized that it took so long for them to notify me. Apparently, they had divided up the task of calling candidates between professors and everyone else thought it was someone else's job to call me, so no one called me for a week until they realised I hadn't learned the news yet. So, I'd say that it's not over until it's over. I'll be honest though---it is generally not a good sign if many people have reported positive results and you haven't heard anything yet. But you don't know if it's a rejection or if you're on a standby list that they'll contact later.

I was going to actually write something to the same effect. I'd say: Both qualitative impressions (e.g. gut instincts) and quantitative impressions (e.g. stipend offer) are important. Past-me used to value quantitative things a lot more because past-me didn't know how to handle qualitative things. Dear Past-Me, don't be afraid to listen to your gut---it may not be a quantitative measure, but it's still a data point! It turns out pretty much all of your gut instincts were right (I did end up going with my gut in the end, so everything went well, but I felt a little uneasy about it, which doesn't help imposter syndrome!)

Every school does things a bit differently. It would be rare for each candidate to be expected give a presentation like that though. However, interview visits can be different from recruitment visits. But even if they want this, they will tell you ahead of time. I know my school just made its decisions yesterday and has started informing students of the upcoming visit next month! Here's a basic schedule of what visits look like in my program: Day 1: 7:30am: Bus picks up all the visiting students from hotel, drives to school 8:00am: Breakfast with other visiting students and the faculty reps for each major (e.g. geophysics, geology, geochemistry etc.). Basic introduction to the department from the chair. 9:00am: The group splits into each program major and talk with each other and the faculty rep. 9:30am - noon: Each student has their own schedule, meeting faculty and students in 15-30 minute blocks. You're asked which faculty you'd like to meet with ahead of time Noon-1pm: Lunch with a few randomly selected graduate students 1pm-5pm: More meetings like in the morning, with a coffee break for socializing with current students 5pm-6pm: Dinner, catered by department 6pm-9pm: Evening social event, usually at the on-campus bar 9pm: Bus takes students back to hotel Day 2: Morning: Field trip! Choice of a hike in the mountains or visit to off campus lab locations Afternoon: Free time to explore campus; some labs will have lab tours; some students will volunteer to give campus tours. Also, anyone who you were not able to meet with on Day 1 might be free on Day 2. Evening: Social events, usually dinner with first year grad students in town, followed by drinks at a bar in town with all students --- In either case, you will get tons of info from whatever programs you're visiting soon. They'll tell you the general outline of the day but you might not get a detailed schedule with meeting times and people names/locations until the night before (or even the morning of the first day) since it's hard to create such schedules. I've seen the giant spreadsheets that our admin staff puts together to arrange for 20+ different people to meet with all of the faculty and students!!

In my opinion, I think your best choice is 1, 4, 5 and I agree with rising_star that you should talk to #4 and see what their advice is. Also, #2 can be a good option for some schools. For example, if #2 is a NASA employee that is close to (or regularly collaborates with) a university, then #2 might be a good choice when you apply to that university. I don't think #3 is a good choice for a letter at all, especially if you have all of these other options.

I know that this is commonly done at many places, but I want to point out that many people, including me, think it is unethical for a school to only interview international students because to gauge spoken language skills. It's okay to interview everyone on the shortlist. It's okay to only interview the ones that are near the cutoff. But it's not okay to create a shortlist and then only interview the international students (or any other group that is not decided based on merit).

Usually no, unless the policies say otherwise or if it's "rolling admissions".

Contact the place you're applying and say that you want to check if they received your transcripts. No need to contact your own college unless the place you're applying need proof of mailing. For many schools that I applied to, the online status check system was terribly outdated and it said things that were not received even though they were received weeks ago. Part of it could be a mistake (someone didn't tick off a box) and another part was if the names didn't match exactly, the system won't recognize it. For example, I have two middle names and the system stored it as a hyphenated middle name but my transcript shows my name as two words, so the computer system was unable to match the received transcript to my record. Of course, the human actually handling my documents was way smarter and my transcripts were properly filed with my application physically. It just didn't properly get captured by the computer system.

I don't think anyone argued for ignoring work experience in evaluating graduate student candidates? There is a difference between not requiring it and completely ignoring it.

Ugh ugh ugh Unfortunately, I feel like this is pretty common at many Physics departments I know about. Fortunately, although some people are clueless, a lot of them are willing to learn. Some students and I are actually doing something this month to go over these concepts at our school. I find that when presented with the knowledge, although some students will dismiss it, the people that want to do better are very encouraging. I do have to admit though, this attitude (I can't describe it exactly though) is part of the reason that made me less interested in staying in Physics proper as a research field. I felt a lot more comfortable in "spinoff" physics fields like astronomy and now planetary science. But these fields are certainly not that much better either. Fortunately, now that I feel that I have established myself as a good scientist in my department and school, I can work to help change people's minds (of course, I would say the more privilege/power one has, the more responsibility one has to do this, so I feel the faculty here could do a lot more than they are doing now).

Hi @gelologist! Ah okay---I know some other students that have partners in health related fields where you must do internships after your Bachelors' degree in order to get certification or something. And I've heard of medical students and "The Match". Unfortunately, I think the April 15 thing is supposed to be a step towards standardizing the notification dates. Without April 15, your deadlines could be even earlier (for some of my programs in Canada, I had to decide by mid-February!) Out of all the schools I applied to, only one school interviewed me before making a decision and it was a Skype interview. During that interview, one of the questions they asked was "What are the factors that will affect your decision?" and my answer was that "Well it's only half of my decision---my spouse and I are going to decide together, so the non-academic factors are equally to important to me as the academic ones". The profs interviewing me seemed to really like that answer because it was honest and because they agree with it! For the actual visits, these were all post-acceptance recruitment events.

Blanket statements are tough, but yes, I do think that it is bad practice for graduate program to require X if: 1. X is not strictly required to be qualified, and 2. X is not equally accessible to all people. Take an example from my field: Some astronomers travel to telescopes to take their data. The best telescope sites are at very high altitudes, which require some level of health and ability. I don't think it's discriminatory for a job posting that requires you to be on the mountain summit to have these fitness requirements. In my field, grad students do a lot of the observing work. So, I think it would be discriminatory for a graduate program to have these fitness requirements for all of their astronomy grad students. Why? Because there are other ways for you to be an astronomer without needing to travel to the summit. Some astronomers work on projects that don't use telescope data. Other astronomers use data that can be collected remotely, without requiring physical access to the telescopes. These are just some examples. Sure, the University might want to take a cohort of grad students in which some of them can make it to the mountain summit, but it would not be fair to make this a grad school admission requirement. Those who don't meet the mountain summit fitness requirements should not be barred from entering a grad program or dismissed from a grad program---instead, it's up to the school to reassign them on work they are able to do. And secondly, regarding the GRE---you are right, race and gender does play a huge role in the GRE scores. If you want some examples, see this piece: http://www.nature.com/naturejobs/science/articles/10.1038/nj7504-303a ; My field has argued for departments to not use cutoff GRE and Physics GRE scores because they discriminate (in short, when looking that the mean cutoff score around the country, 50% of white applicants are removed by this cutoff but 90% of black applicants are removed; similarly, more women are removed than men). (see https://aas.org/posts/news/2015/12/presidents-column-rethinking-role-gre and references therein). In my opinion, graduate schools are supposed to find excellence in its candidates and select those who are excellent. The best way to find excellence is to not constrain it with things like requirements of minimum GPA, minimum research experience, minimum GRE scores, etc. In some cases, these minimums would constitute discriminatory practice. Instead, I think schools are better off (and would create a more fair playing field), if we did not assume that the best candidates all fit one particular mold (whether it's GRE, GPA, research experience) and instead let students who are interested apply and communicate their excellence to us in whatever format they possess.

This is indeed tricky! Is this some kind of internship/residency "match" type thing? Honestly, I think you have a really good reason for an extension and you should just ask. You don't have much to lose if they say no. At some programs, like mine, we only admit people to the Earth/Planetary science department in one "wave". So, it's not like you are taking up someone's spot if you wait until April 30 to say no, for example. I know that for my program, you would probably be allowed to extend it Also some other program at my school will keep an offer open for 1 year (no funding promise though; however if you were competitive in one year, it's likely you would be another year too). But I wouldn't tell the schools right away. Instead, wait until you visit and decide that you still want to go to that school. For your fiancée, if she has interviews or other similar things in between now and the final decision, you might be able to narrow down some of your choices. For example, if after your visit and her interview/visit, you both decide that that place is not a good place for you, then you can probably decline the offer without asking for a April 15 extension. For everything else, you should just ask near the end of March. Hopefully they will say yes without any conditions. Some schools might say that the funding promise may no longer be there. And some schools may say no. In these cases, you (the plural you) will have to decide what way forward is best for the both of you. It's a hard decision! My spouse and I also discussed the location of my PhD program as equals---although my spouse isn't a student, I felt like such a big move required both of us to be happy about it (not just content). So although I didn't have the deadline issue, I did let all the schools know that it's not just my decision and where I could, I asked for information relevant to my spouse (e.g. job opportunities on campus and in the city). In all cases where my spouse could visit with me, the schools were glad to include my spouse in the events!

I do think it's a challenge to keep long distance friends. And I think just like romantic partners, some people are a good fit for long distance friendships and others are not able to get what they need out of a long distance friendship. So, I think the first thing is to not feel like it's your fault or their fault that the friendship erodes when one person moves away. Like a relationship, sometimes you don't know whether a friendship will actually continue when one or both person moves away. And I think it's also not fair if both parties are not on the same page---that is, you can't force someone to be happy in a long distance friendship if they want friends that are in the same place as them. So, in my opinion, I think it is healthy for people to re-evaluate their friendships as they move on to different phases of their life. Just because you are friends with someone since kindergarten/grade 7/etc does not mean it makes sense for both of you to try to continue a friendship that doesn't actually work. It's okay to decrease the intensity of the friendship and "drift away". I also think friendships are different relationships when you are older and enter grad school age. Once you graduate from college, people go different ways really fast. Sometimes people have different priorities really fast too. For some, it's their career, for others, it's family, and for yet others, it's some combination of both. We all grow a lot during college and we become different people. After we get to the "other side" and become the new people in our mid and late 20s, maybe what we wanted in a friendship is different now than it was when we were 19. This is also okay. I still have two close friendships from my time in undergrad and my MSc program that I keep in touch with more than others. These are probably the only two "long distance friendships" where I would feel like I would be able to talk about the crappy parts of life. With most of my current long distance friends, when we do chat, we keep it very light and positive. I'm glad to have them and to be honest, it's not like I knew these two people would play these roles when I was in the same place as them and not even when I first moved away. I find that the natural pattern of things is that when you move away, at first, everyone tries to keep in touch with each other. But then, as time goes on, people drift apart and eventually, you'll find yourself more interested in maintaining some relationships over others. Hopefully the other party feels the same way and you got a good long distance friendship going. But if it's only one-sided, I think one or both people will end up being hurt. Finally, now that I am nearing the end of my degree, I find myself thinking about friendship in academia a lot. Especially after the PhD, postdoc positions are often only 2 years in my field, hardly any time to make friends before you're off to a new place. I think this is a very real problem in academia, and it's one of the reasons that academia is a tough place---it seems like the expectation is that we always have to pick up and move. It's one of the big downsides to an academic career for me. I think I have come to peace with it though (the friendship part, still stressed/worried about not knowing where I'd be in 1.5 years). With my current grad school friends, I feel that there is an "end date" to our friendship in its current format in sight. It makes me a bit sad---we have gone through so much of the crappy side of grad school together. But I think that after we graduate and go our own ways, it doesn't really mean our friendship "ends". It will just evolve into a different type of friendship, and that is okay. And hey, one perk of academic world friendships is that now I have friends in tons of different places. If you're the couch-surfing type, this could be great. I'm not really a couch-surfer, but one cool thing is that as I get older and more friends spread out, there are more and more cities where I have friends living! Once, I was in the UK for a conference and I had to pass through London, so I arranged to meet up with some friends there in between my flight landing and my train ride later that evening. So there are certainly some perks too

I agree that you are overthinking and trying to over-generalize. Every possibility you list could be the actual case because pretty much everything you said I've heard about happening at some place/lab/department or other. To me, it sounds like you did fine. It's also really really hard to read some people, unless you happen to be a people-whisperer or already know the person well. For example, a prof may appear disappointed that you didn't have skill X because he thought you would have been the 110% best candidate if you had that extra skill, but now you are still the 100% best choice for him. You can't guess what's going on inside people's heads normally! And why do schools interview? In my opinion, it is not primarily to find out your actual scientific skills. Yes, I do think interviews are a good way for faculty to dig deeper on interesting points they read in your CV or SOP or other materials. But really, I think it's an evaluation of your interpersonal skills and character traits. I know faculty at some programs have told me this is exactly the reason why they interview and ask essay questions in the SOP. They are looking for the "intangible" qualities that would be really hard to gauge in a CV, transcript, and GRE scores. For example, the ability to communicate professionally. The ability to think on the spot. Leadership ability and initiative---are you "just" a dilettante doing what you're told in the lab, or do you take the opportunities you do have to take "ownership" of your work, understand why you're doing what you're doing etc. Resilience and ability to work through tough times (note: I'm not saying this is the same as "grad students should suck it up when they face bad work conditions" but I'm referring to things like facing rejection, handling appropriate criticism etc. Many undergraduates go into grad school with very little experience of failing and for most of them, they will face failure for the first time in grad school. It's important to be able to overcome that (with proper support from the school and mentors, of course). An interview is a really good way to get this information by speaking with the candidate directly. It's not the only way though---a lot of this is learned from LORs and even your SOP.

Some schools already have similar policies/ideas, particularly as a solution for the "two body problem" (e.g. http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_magazine/previous_issues/articles/2003_03_14/nodoi.4790439354486772529 --- I think the title "Problem Solved" is not really accurate though :P). I know that the two-body problem is related to, but not the same as, diversity. I am pointing it out as an example policy where the University can "front" money to departments to get an "early" hire and in order to achieve a particular goal. My school has a lot of catching up to do though. Currently, the faculty gender ratio is 80% male and 20% female while the national average for all of the fields where we hire tenured professors is about 30% women. And as the article linked above shows (from 2003!!), this is not really a new idea either.

I think the best thing to do is to ask the faculty member. If they are paying for a hotel room for just you, then having another person come along is probably fine because most hotels charge the same for one person as for two people. So, from the point of view of the faculty member, there is no extra costs, so I don't imagine there being a big problem. But, in many visits, prospective students share hotel rooms with another visiting student (not sure if you're visiting alone or with a large group). If this is the case, then there won't be a spot for the other person coming with you! So, one thing you can offer to do is ask that they provide you with your own hotel room and pay for half of the costs out of pocket (so that the cost to them is the same). Finally, it does matter a little bit who the other person is. Does this person have an impact on your decision (e.g. is the person a partner, spouse, significant other, etc.?) I visited a few graduate programs with my spouse and I was always upfront about it. After all, this is a decision that affects both of us, so it's a decision we have equal say in, and whenever possible, my spouse visited the program/city the school is in. In almost every case where I mentioned that I would like my spouse to visit with me, they included my spouse in all of the social events where possible, so that my spouse could also experience the city and meet people living there. One school even gave my spouse a desk in an office so they could check email, take a break etc. in between their city-exploring while I met with professors. If this is not the case though (i.e. not a significant other or someone who would be involved in the decision) then I think explaining it the way you did here is fine too---you don't want to drive the long distance alone and the school doesn't have to make any plans for the other person, then it should be fine. I do think you should at least mention it to the faculty member because 1) if they are paying for your hotel room, I think it's the right thing to do to inform them that they are not just paying for you to use it, and 2) if the school is making the booking, then the hotel might want to know there's 2 people plus you want to make sure they are not already putting you with a roommate. If you really don't want to tell the school about the person traveling with you, then maybe finding the other person their own lodging is the best way forward.

I know we're in different fields, but a late deadline doesn't always correlate with response time. The school with the earliest deadline (Dec 1) took the longest to respond---by the time they requested an interview, I had already heard final decisions from all the other schools! And as a counterexample: My current program has a Jan 1 deadline and they almost always make the final decision by the 3rd week of January.

My undergrad school in Canada also had the policy that if you passed a course (a D is a pass) then you cannot retake the course. They also had a lot of rules about undergrads taking grad classes, so I understand your frustration there! From your story, I think you are lacking a lot of the Physics preparation you would need to reach your goal of working as an astronomer. I think the best route forward is for you to take that test and major in physics at the undergraduate level. I think that the best use of time in a Masters degree is to do research in Physics, not just take courses in Physics. But maybe the system in your country is very different and this is not possible. Also, I might be misunderstanding your story. @GeoDUDE! gave good advice about undergrad courses. From your story, it does not sound like you took the classes that he listed. But if you did, then you can probably go for a Masters program.

In most of my visits, there is usually a 15 minute block in my visit schedule to meet with the admin staff in order to process the reimbursement paperwork. They usually get information like your address and such, and I had some extra forms because I was not a US citizen. At this time, they also often offer to collect receipts (or you can wait and mail everything at once) and answer any questions. If you are not a citizen, bring your passport to this meeting. Some tips if you haven't worked with reimbursement for schools before. Policies vary wildly from one place to the next! But for a school that I am visiting for the first time, where I'm not familiar with their policies, I would recommend collecting the maximum documentation possible. This means: 1. Keeping a copy of your boarding pass (if you use mobile boarding passes, when you check in online, get the system to email you a regular pass to print too, or get the kiosk at the airport to print an extra copy for you). Some schools want to see the boarding pass as proof you actually took the flight. 2. For all meals that you pay for, ask for the itemized receipt. Many schools need the itemized receipt as well as the payment receipt (e.g. the credit card slip that just shows how much you paid and tipped). Sometimes this is just extra red tape policies, and others it's because some things like tips or alcohol are not reimbursable. This may not be an issue because someone else may accompany and pay for all your meals while visiting in town and the school may not cover meals in-transit. Since I had long travel days, most schools did pay for me to eat something on my 16 hour trip though. 3. If you are booking things on your own, ask if there are preferred providers that offer a discounted rate. Usually the school staff will tell you which providers to use if this is the case, often in the official invitation that you will receive in a few days. Also, if you're staying an extra day for your own visit to the city, maybe there is a special rate the school has with some local hotels or motels that you can stay at (you'll pay out of pocket for that of course, but you can save yourself a bit of money!).

First, I think the best answers should come from either an attorney or your school's international student office. But, the school offices usually will not answer your questions until you accept the school's offer. So, here is some preliminary information that might help you for now, but please get everything checked! I'm not an expert. My situation: I am a Canadian on J-1 status. My spouse (also Canadian) is on J-2 status. My spouse has a EAD (employment authorization document). We were married before entering the US. Now to answer your Qs: Yes, your partner can join you in the US on J-2 status after your J-1 application. They will apply for J-2 status as your dependent when they are ready to join you in the US (as you know, you'd have to be considered spouses in Canada for your partner to be eligible for J-2 status). I know a few students who got married while in grad school to a partner from another country and their partner joined them later. I also know of a J-1/J-2 couple where the J-1 student arrived first, and the J-2 partner did not apply for the J-2 and enter the US until several months later (the partner had work to finish up in their home country before they could go to the US). So, I know this is certainly possible. Also, yes, it is possible to switch visa statuses from J-2 to another visa class (but see note below). For example, if your partner wants to be a student in the US, your partner can apply for a school and then switch to their own F-1 or J-1 status. Or if they want to work, and their profession makes them eligible, there are other statuses possible too. --- okay some extra info now, I think you already know this though but just in case --- Please note that J-2 dependents are subject to the same restrictions as the J-1. So, if you have the 2 year home residency requirement, your partner will also have this. I am actually not sure which country will count for your partner---many places state it's the "country you were living when you got your J-2 status", which would be the UK for the partner (potentially); however, since you are living in Canada, I don't know if it would go by the J-1's country instead. Anyways, this might mean that you and your partner might have different home residency requirements (if you have them at all). Your school international office should definitely be able to help with this. I think you already know this, but just to be explicit: the home residency requirements precludes you from taking an immigrant-class visa. A common immigrant-class visa for foreign workers is the H1-B, and I believe the J-1/J-2's home residency requirements will preclude you or your partner from being on this visa status. So, if your partner wants to work in the US and if you have the home residency requirement, it might be better for them to get their own visa status first. Also, for J-1s who are PhD students, there is a 12-month bar on additional J visas. So, it may not be possible for you or your partner to switch from one J visa to another J visa. And finally, your partner's J-2 status is only valid as long as your J-1 status is valid. So, if after you graduate, and you remain in the US for future work, maybe on a different status, your partner's ability to work would depend on whatever their new status would be. For example, if you are not subject to the home residency requirement and you go on H1-B status for the next job, then your partner would be your dependent on H4 status, which does not allow them to work. Because of all of this, and because it sounds like your partner is eligible for their own work visa status (as they are an Engineer), it might be a better idea for your partner to enter the US on their own status and not as your dependent. It would mean they will have to find a job before entering (unless they qualify for other statuses too). This also gives the two of you flexibility on when you want to get married! Once you decide on which school you want to attend, I would suggest discussing the different options and consequences of visa status options for you and your partner with the school's international student office!

I think it's the nature of the department and the "norms" of the field. Also, it's related to the competitiveness of the school. For example, I've noticed that top schools generally send out decisions earlier and lower ranked schools take longer. I think there are at least two reasons: 1. Top schools have more resources and they can afford to "overcommit" on a year. That is, if they want 30 students but send out 70 offers and 40 students accept, they can probably handle the extra load (they'll just take less students next year and average it out). But smaller schools need to be a little more careful since they might not be able to afford so many extra students. So, they might make 40 offers first, wait for their response, then make more to fill a class of 30, for example. Most top ranked programs in my field will make offers between mid-January and February. 2. Lower ranked schools are often "safety" schools for applicants wanting to attend top ranked schools. So, by waiting a few weeks (most of these programs in my field make offers in late-February or mid March), by the time they make the offer to the top applicants, the top applicants would already know about their top choices and would likely decline their offer (or withdraw the application). This allows them to make good offers directly to the students who are trying to get into their program, instead of just having them as a "backup". If these lower ranked schools made offers to the best candidates in January, most of the offers would just be sitting around unanswered because the top candidates are likely waiting to hear from top schools and will not be ready to decide yet. As for interviewing, I think it just depends on whether the field normally interviews. Mine does not normally conduct interviews.

I would not say it's "really common". But it's not rare either. For most of my schools, I submitted my application, heard nothing for a few weeks, and then got an email/phone call "congrats, you've been accepted!" or "sorry, there were a lot of highly qualified applicants but....etc"

I guess what's "usual" is different for different fields, because in my field, it's very rare for a TA to be fully responsible for the course (we would likely call that person a "Teaching Fellow" rather than a "Teaching Assistant", too). My feeling about TAships is that they can take unlimited time. Therefore, it's super important to set expectations before you start. I always sit down with the professor teaching the course and talk about what is expected and compare it to how many hours I'm supposed to be working (based on whatever agreement your TA offer has). For example, at one school, a TAship is 9 hours per week per course. So we talk about things like: okay, the prof wants me to attend all the lectures (3 hours per week), hold one office hour per week, read the same assignments (1 hour per week, let's say, since I should be able to read faster than the students), and grade homework. We look at the time budget and find that I have about 4 hours per week to grade homework, and if there's like 40 students in the class, then I have 10 minutes per student. So, we agree on the amount of homework to be assigned so that I can finish grading in just 10 minutes per student. Maybe the instructor prefers to give long project-style homework that might take 30 minutes to grade, which means they can only assign one of these every 3 weeks instead of having weekly assignments. Some other instructors will give the TA the solution to the problem sets/homework, but others will require the TA to solve them on their own first. So, this must be added to the time budget too. And sometimes instructors want TAs to create the homework themselves so that takes up time as well! And this discussion is not necessarily all one-sided (although since they are your boss, it could certainly be that way). For me, I'm lucky that when I want to do something in particular, my TA boss has always welcomed it. For example, in recent years, I wanted to teach one week's worth of lectures, which would require more hours of TA work in order to prep. So, we shifted my other responsibilities around so that I spent less time grading and more time prepping for the lectures. I wouldn't expect this of course, but an example of how discussions of expectations will benefit everyone. Finally, an important thing to remember is to make sure you are defining "success" as something achievable. It is impossible for a TA to please everyone. I only have about 5-10 minutes (depending on the assignment and the class) to grade the weekly homework. Sometimes I wish I could give a lot more feedback to the students, but if I spend more time on my TA work, I'm neglecting other aspects of my life (research, my own classes, my family, my hobbies etc.). I've stopped measuring my "success" in TA work as "how much stuff got done", but instead, "how effective are my use of the resources I have". I strive to spend my 9 hours per week to improve my students' learning as best as I can!

Ugh---When I hear that, I would just think the school is super arrogant and elitist. It's like really?! I hope that it's not indicative of how the faculty there will treat demands on your time in the future, if you choose to go to that school. I do think honesty is the best policy. I had two schools in California & Arizona schedule visits: One on Thurs-Fri of one week and another on Thurs-Fri of the following week. I was living in Eastern Canada at the time ($700+ flight, 16 hours of travel due to not living near a hub airport etc.) so I didn't want to fly out for a few days, go home, then go back out again. So, I asked the first school to reschedule my visit to Mon-Tues of the following week, so that I can fly to school A on Sunday, visit for 2 days, fly to School B on Wed, then visit School B on Thurs-Fri. I was honest about what I was doing and upfront at the very start---I also pointed out that I would split the expensive airfare fairly between the two schools, so ultimately it was win-win-win for all 3 parties. There was a little bit of extra admin work to properly divide the expenses, but being honest about everything made it all much easier. Also, I guess it's easier for me to say this on the other side, but I wouldn't really care about blow back for not hastily accepting an offer. If I don't get in because I didn't drop everything for the program, that's probably a good thing since I wouldn't want to be there anyways. But I realise this is easier to say for someone who is already in grad school