snowies

I think a factor in your decision should be the job prospects.

For example, if were like me, an English major, you would be insane to pay that much for a Master's degree. But if you could expect to make enough money with your degree for it to be worth it....

It depends. If you are eating beans and peanut butter, it's probably cheaper than eating meat. If you are eating soy/textured vegetable protein fake meat, it's more expensive. I found being vegan less expensive than being an omnivore.

Ha. Laughing at the "rep" on my previous post.



Eh. Not about not being supportive. If one of the metrics is long-term success, then I would say the STEM programs have more than a leg up here. Yes I am pretty confident in my choice because there is an established history of success for folks in my program (and within the department I'll be joining).

If the metric is "buyers remorse" - well that is just something that will happen in any program; quite impossible to really judge how well a fit a program is going to be until you are in the thick of it.

It is really nice to read these comments...not because I'm happy some of us have cold feet, but to know that I'm not alone in this process.

I honestly don't think I'm going to start a PhD program next Fall because I keep finding excuses to NOT go. Shouldn't it be the other way around? All my academic friends/professors are telling me that this is a great opportunity and I have been talking to the department and still getting amazing information. It is so tempting and I know I will enjoy academic life but I keep finding ways of not going.

I can understand your feelings and have been having some cold feet as well. I was very excited about leaving my hometown to learn at a university on the Mainland (I'm a Hawaii native!) and was energized about starting my PhD. Maybe the semester off between my Masters and PhD has gotten my mind a little lazy....I keep thinking do I really want to start all this over again, new project, school, advisor, etc. Now that I've got a really good verbal offer (Purdue) I can feel myself getting cold feet. I'll still likely end up going to Purdue, but I notice that I find my mind focusing on the negatives about moving to the midwest (freezing winter, no family, 10+ hour plane ride) in an effort to try and change my mind. To make matters worse I received an offer from UH Manoa, which is a quick plane ride from home, and they're offering me a tuition waiver and salary which is unheard of for first year students in that program. I think it's human nature to second guess big decisions that will change your life.......would probably be more alarming if you weren't!

No. Perhaps in the non-STEM based programs this is prevelant, but I am pretty confident about my choice.

Someone over in the lit/rhet/comp forum pointed out that there is a bit of a let down phase after you accept (or decide which offer to accept) because one school, no matter how amazing it is, can never be as exciting as all of the possible schools at once. Hopefully it will pass and you will enter into a contented and mutually beneficial relationship soon

Agreed. Thankfully that's not what I said. . .at all.

If you had no one-on-one contact with professors, the short email to admissions is fine. But I agree that if you've had extended correspondence with one or two professors at an institution, its only polite to send them a more personal email letting them know your decision. It doesn't have to be long, just clearly sent to them alone. A simple "Thank you very much for the help you've been during this process. I've chosen to attend ABC University, but I very much hope to see you at conference/meetings/etc in the future. Best of luck with the rest of your semester..." There's no need to gush, and as others have said, unless you're a prodigy they probably aren't crushed you've chosen another university. But I feel safe in saying that they will remember a student they invested even a small amount of time in, and were then never informed of a decision, or thanked for their help.

The OPs only post on this board and this most recent reply almost make this seem as someones assignment for an ethics class or something

There is no negative tone. It is simply me not shining you on; you asked for opinions, I gave you one which you reject out of hand which lead me to conclude you don't actually want opinions just validation for a decision you have already made. Nature of the beast.



I amended my recommendation to be more in line what you were seeking. . .did you not see?

After I had gotten into a few programs I really liked, about a month ago I tried to decline a department that was not nearly as good a fit (location, size) but that had offered me a special fellowship. I took the recommended simple approach with a short but warm email. I just wanted to do the right thing and free up a spot and funding for someone else, you know? The director would have none of that, though, and proceeded to engage me into some borderline aggressive email back-and-forths about why I turned them down, where I was thinking of going, etc. The director made some incredible overtures during this and ended up telling me I had a standing offer for future years if I realized I made a mistake and wanted to transfer. It was really flattering, to be sure, but also incredibly draining and stressful to keep doing this volleying and continue justifying my decision not to go in the face of all this generosity. I'm honestly still not sure if they've crossed me off the list yet because I'm still getting inane snail mail from the grad school about immunizations.

So, yeah, I wish it were always as easy as a short email. I'd still recommend that, I guess, but be prepared to defend your decision if they bristle.

I only had one interview, so I can't say I feel exactly the same, but I understand the let down feeling that comes when someone says, "Your application was superb and your letters were excellent, but we can't accept you because ----"
Perhaps it was actually better that I heard it up front rather than after an interview...

If you thought your interviews went well, then the rejections likely had nothing to do with you, but were rather based on funding issues or a departmental decision to only accept people with certain research interests or certain POIs. I know that doesn't help with the feeling of being led on though.

Congratulations on your acceptance! That's really all that matters in the end.

When I was talking with my grandmother about the school locations, she said, "Well, honey, I'm going to pray that you don't get into the schools on the East Coast, because I don't like the weather out there and I wouldn't like visiting." Uh, thanks, I guess.

Fortunately I was more amused than anything because the schools I really want to go to are, in fact, not on the East Coast. And hey - God listened! I was rejected! I had no idea she had such rapport with the big man.

This thread is amazing and has totally lightened my mood. I was talking to a friend the other day explaining how I was concerned that I may not be getting in AGAIN this year after receiving several rejections, she said --

"I mean how long are you going to keep applying? Maybe you should just get a job, you are qualified for something, aren't you? I mean how much time are you going to waste trying to get in?"

It was a good thing we were on the phone because I really wanted to punch her...

I also must say that I really really hate, "I am sure you'll get in somewhere."
This is especially irritating because it almost always comes from people who have no idea what they are talking about, and it really just comes off as a nice way of saying "your failure is making me uncomfortable, so I am going to try and say something nice and get the hell out of here."

I definitely second the bit about interactive web tours. I was going to suggest it myself! Also, Google lots of pictures. It's not as good as visiting the campus itself, but it is better than nothing. My best friend went to graduate school at a place she never visited -- she LOVED it. I know every case is different, but I thought it might be nice for you to hear.