kateausten

That was my thought exactly. The "quizzes" consist of questions about their participation during the past week (attendance, preparation, did they play with their phones, etc) and I told the students that I have the power to override the scores they give themselves and would do so if they lied and inflated their scores - not that my own observations would make up 50% of the grade. I don't even feel comfortable giving a subjetive grade at this point because I haven't been paying close attention and taking objective notes and my memories would be unintentionally biased by my opinion of each student. As long as the students are honest - and they usually are - the quizzes are a more objective assessment of participation than my own observations would be (because those would depend on how stealthily students can play on their phones, have off-task conversations, etc). I also told them on the first day that I have had A students make Bs and B students make Cs in the class because they skipped some of these quizzes, so those that listened knew the consequences. (I'm not that surprised that this student did not, as he doesn't seem to hear most of what I say in class unless it's directly to him, but as everyone has pointed out, that's his own issue until he has a documented disability pass stating that he has a legit reason.)

Thank you! I'm kind of afraid to refer him to the accessibility center with the implication that it might help him with this grade. I technically am only on contract for 3 more days. Apparently it's a HUGE hassle to deal with contested grades here, and I don't want to spend time on it myself without even being paid for my services, or to hand it off to some already-overworked colleague to deal with. I also feel like it's very awkward to reply to a "We are graded on this?" email with "You may want to visit the disability center" - it's a little intense of a topic to bring up over email, after the end of the semester, when the student hasn't even shown any recognition of the problem, you know? I like the idea of bringing up the topic and inspiring him to get checked out (my ADHD wasn't diagnosed until age 20), it just seems inappropriate in this specific context. I don't believe the syllabus explicitly states "The participation grade will be comprised entirely of the scores from these quizzes" because the syllabus is a generic one given to all the different sections with different teachers and we have the authority to incorporate other things into the grade if we wish. But the quizzes are definitely mentioned in the syllabus and I said on the first day (not that they listen/remember) that their participation grade would be based on them. There is also a place for those grades in the giant table of class grades that they can see on the course website if they want. (I imagine he didn't look at that table until today, hence the email.) I'm confident that it's not my fault that he was unaware, though. I didn't have the most motivated class and would definitely have had other students skipping or at least asking "Do we HAVE to do this?" if it weren't clear. Regarding the "Are the quizzes graded?" question, I agree that it sounds a bit ridiculous, but this guy asks a lot of questions that seem, well, dumb. He will ask equally obvious questions about classwork sometimes. I don't know if he's just one of those people who asks questions before even attempting to think about them or if he is just unable to reason very well. Not that this changes my obligations towards him at all, of course -- just giving some context.

I see little for the OP to gain by reporting or lose by not reporting, so I too am on the side of "don't." If you A) did not witness the cheating and are aware that another student reported it to the professor, your butt is covered. To your knowledge, the supervising professor was made aware of the situation by someone with more personal knowledge of the incident than yourself, and your responsibility ends there - you have "plausible deniability" here and won't be held responsible for ensuring that the professor does his job ethically. If you do go above the professor's head with your suspicions, you'll likely be seen as untrustworthy, someone who will throw colleagues under the bus before even approaching them about your concerns. If it's really killing you, and you have to do something, ask the supervising professor what came of it, but I don't see any reason to do that. This sounds like a situation that literally can't be resolved in a way that's fair to everyone. In a way, handling it as quietly as possible is the only clear choice for the department, because if word got out about it there would be many angry students and no fair way to appease them. Yes, it's unfair to the other students that these students got higher grades because of an advantage they didn't have. However, they shouldn't be punished for trusting their instructor - by getting Fs or by being forced to repeat the class. Nothing he did is inherently dishonest, it's only considered "cheating" here because the other TAs were not allowed to do the same thing, which the students didn't necessarily even know. A lot of instructors give reviews that are very similar to the test. The test answer system would be weird but not "dishonest" if it were available to every student in the class. Students shouldn't be punished for 1) not knowing the difference between a TA being particularly nice/"easy" and a TA cheating, or 2) being afraid to report someone who has power over them for something they can't concretely prove.

Have you ever had a student whose misunderstanding or unawareness of something resulted in MAJOR grade ramifications? Do you consider it wrong by any means to allow a student to fail a course they would otherwise make a B or C in because of this? Without going into too much detail, I am in charge of my own section of a class - I give the final grades, not a prof. At-home online quizzes that are automatically graded make up 30% of the grades. I've been overextended this semester and have just been checking to make sure that most of the students were doing them (to make sure that I did make it clear that they're mandatory), not examining the grades in detail, so I just noticed while putting together final grades that a certain student has not done a single one. Today, days after the final and a few days before grades are due, he emailed me to ask "Are we graded on the quizzes?" With zeros on every quiz, the highest he can get is a 70, and I think that he will probably be below 60. This isn't the first time that this student has been the only one in the class unaware of an important instruction. He seems to have a problem following instructions in general, will often raise his hand to ask things that I have already covered a few minutes before and such, and I would not be surprised if some sort of disability were at play, but without a pass from the accessibility center I can't allow that suspicion to factor into my treatment of him. All of the other students did the quizzes regularly enough that I am certain they knew that it was a mandatory part of their grade. Any way that I could help him would have to be extended to the entire class, and while I could open all the quizzes up for another 48 hours, that seems unfair to the students who may not be checking their emails to be aware of such an option because the semester is over, all finals are done, etc. I feel bad because he did attend class regularly and it may not be his fault that he can't follow instructions - the quizzes form a participation grade, so ironically one of my best students attendance-wise will fail because of his participation grade. At the same time, I don't see any fair way to handle this besides just giving him zeroes for all of these quizzes and letting him fail if that's how it works out. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Definitely ask. I got an assistantship after I was already enrolled, so it is possible! I started in a Spring semester so they weren't looking for new TAs at the time, but I spoke to the people involved in hiring TAs and was chosen for the next year.

Does anyone teach in a different department than they are getting their degree from? How did you balance the demands of that department (beyond your teaching hours) with the demands of your own department and other things related more to your studies and career? I'm a terminal MA student on a professional track (language-related, but not teaching-related, and I don't intend to do so at any point after school) and I'm teaching a language. We are strongly urged - at times it feels more like "pressured," and "this is mandatory" is implied - to put a lot of time into learning foreign language pedagogy, including weekend meetings of language teachers (mainly high school teachers) and conferences. We already have to take 4 credits worth of pedagogy-related classes (a formal class and a practicum) to keep our TA-ships. I understand that enough professional development to make us passable teachers is a good thing, but this is beyond what is necessary for that. There is no way I can do all of the things we are being told to do without dropping meetings, conferences, social events, and other duties that are far more relevant to my own studies and career. What is the best way to say "No" to this extra stuff without damaging my relationship with the professors that I TA under, who I do like and respect and want to keep as references if I can? Or should I just make time for these things by factoring them into the number of hours of TA duties in my contract? (That would mean it would be at the expense of time grading, prepping lessons, etc, and counterproductive to the actual quality of my teaching.) The professors seem to pre-empt the objections of people in this situation by saying "Even if you don't plan to continue in teaching or academia, this will be valuable because of X, Y, Z" -- and I agree, there is probably some value in any sort of academic or professional event. But there's also an opportunity cost, and there are other things I could be doing that relate directly to my plans.

I agree, keep everything 100% positive. What might feel like sucking up to you could be seen by some professors, admins, or other students as simply being pleasant. In any case, you really have nothing to gain by challenging anyone unless you can win, and in this case I don't think you can. There's both a power differential and the fact that you can't really prove favoritism. It may also be occuring because of factors above the head of the person doing the scheduling - certain professors requesting certain students for their TAs or RAs, for example - and they aren't going to get themselves into political trouble to make things easier for you. I'm not saying it's fair that people who hate teaching have to teach and people who want to teach don't get to, I just think that there is no way that letting even a whiff of this annoyance into your attitude when dealing with the people involved is going to work in your favor. You won't get rid of the politics, so try to make them work for you. You don't have to think of it as politicking and sucking up - just think of it as networking. Talk to the person who is in charge of deciding who gets to do what, be extremely nice, and say "I really, really want to teach and I wasn't able to this year because of a schedule requirement. When you find out the particulars of the schedule for next year, I would love to talk to you about how I can plan my classes to make sure that I can work teaching into my schedule." With the professors that you "click" with really well, maybe mention the possibility of TA-ing one of their classes. Be gracious with everyone and make sure that you convey that you're passionate about teaching and willing to be flexible in other areas of your degree plan to accommodate it.

I respect that point of view but my own is that TAing is a job, and my department is an employer. I owe it to my employer and those affected to do the job I agreed to do to the best of my ability, but I don't owe the university or my students the limited power I have to pursue my own best interests in tiny ways. I know that many teachers - probably most or all of the best teachers - take the job more personally, fight and make sacrifices for their students, and find this rewarding, but it's not me. I would get burnt out quickly (and so have many of my peers who think they owe their students the world). (I'm on a professional track and never pretended to be interested in teaching as a career -- it's not like I got this job under the guise of being passionate about teaching.) Anyways, I don't need the advice anymore but feel free to continue debating or posting advice in case someone else with a similar dilemma finds the thread. I did add a polite mention of the issue in an email about the spring schedule. Basically "This would be extremelly helpful for my productivity, but I totally understand if it can't work." To me, that is not confusing preferences with needs. I prioritized one preference and dropped all the less important ones, considered it carefully before deciding that it was worth one of my limited "special request" points, and explicitly said that I understand if it can't be accommodated instead of saying that I absolutely CANNOT work a split schedule because of XYZ issues. Since it was mentioned above, I am not required to stay on campus the entire day, but because I have an early afternoon class myself, it winds up being very inefficient for me to go home in between. I do sometimes if I desperately need to do some chores at home, but it winds up being a lot of time spent on transportation just to be home for 2-3 hours.

Thanks everyone! I'll add a polite note about it when I send her my class schedule for next semester. The need for this is partly medical, which I was not planning to bring up but maybe I should? I have ADHD (which I recently went through testing for and found out is more severe than I thought) so it's vital that I work according to my energy levels and I cannot concentrate if I'm tired (it's really bad - I get so spacey that I'm positive my students notice and I even avoid driving as best I can). The ADHD makes teaching more mentally draining for me than it is for many. I also have a crappy respiratory system and get colds and infections easily when sleep deprived, even just 7-hours-instead-of-my-usual-9 sleep deprived, and I have had to have surgery for sinus infections in the past. I know it's not typical for an American adult to sleep 9 hours a night but I've given up a lot in my personal life to make it work, like a social life and several career options. I'd rather a part time job like TA-ing not derail that! Regarding the needs of the department being more important than my own, if it were absolutely unavoidable then I would understand and continue teaching this schedule. I just don't think that it is - based on knowing my colleagues' schedules, I think the fact that I'm teaching the absolute latest and second-earliest class is a result of the coordinator either not realizing or not caring how inconvenient it would be. There are tons of afternoon classes and tons of people who have no morning classes at all who could do the later ones. (And I know that 10AM is not that early and 9PM is not that late, so I don't blame the coordinator for not realizing it -- if I could just wake up in time for my class and then be productive all day afterward I wouldn't care.) Even with that said I don't think it's ideal to truly care more about your employer's needs than your own, it pretty much guarantees that you'll be taken advantage of and my colleagues that feel that way about the department and their students seem to get burnt out very quickly when they realize that it is not at all reciprocal.

For your own sanity, tell them to look it up themselves from the start - set a precedent that they are expected to do their own research. Otherwise, some night when you have a deadline for one of your own classes and can't answer 15 silly emails the night before their project is due, they're going to complain (maybe to your boss or maybe just to everyone who will listen around them) that they got a bad grade because you wouldn't answer their question. Also, as much as I hate to fall into cane-shaking "kids these days" cliche, I find that most of my students really, really need to improve their independent research skills, so you'll be doing them a favor. (I don't even mean academic research, I mean logging onto the course website to look at their syllabus to check when something is due.)

Can anyone tell me whether it is terribly uncouth to make some (minor) requests to the coordinator in charge of assigning TAs to courses in my department? I would mainly like to request not to have both an early and a night class. This semester I teach one of the earliest classes that we have (10AM 5 days a week and we have nothing earlier than 9), and I am also the person responsible for the class that lasts the latest into the night. I am far more productive before I teach than after I teach, so I try to wake up really early to get some work done, and not getting home until 9pm on the nights I teach the other class a) messes with my own sleep schedule and isn't ideal for the students who have me at an hour when I'd normally be about to go to bed. (I know it sounds laughable for a grad student to complain about 9pm, but am literally in bed by that time most nights - it helps me get in some productive time before I'm brain fried from teaching.) I'd like to request to avoid this situation next semester, but I've never even heard of anyone voicing preferences or making requests to the coordinator. I don't consider it out-of-line myself, seems totally rational to take our preferences into consideration, but the important question is will I be seen as demanding, complaining, etc if I say something? She has never asked for our preferences whatsoever, only our class schedules.

Different diets affect people in different ways. I absolutely cannot maintain a low carb diet. Even when I tried (vegetarian south beach, nothing extreme) I felt progressively worse until I was so cranky that I had trouble functioning at work, instead of feeling crappy for a few days and then much better. I lose my energy and eventually lose the will to eat and have to force food down. Most people I know that tried low carb diets felt fine after a week, but I have encountered a couple of people who had the same experience as me. It could be that you are one of us who cannot function without starchy carbs. Try eating more of them, like potatoes, legumes, whole grains, etc and you may not need anything as intense as cake to get your energy up.

In my department, it is definitely expected to attend some events. This is communicated directly to us (which I think is a good thing, as many grad students have never worked in the "real world" and aren't familiar with the idea of networking and technically-optional-but-not-really socializing). However, no one would be expected to attend every event! And no professor would hold a lack of event-attending against you in terms of grading your performance in their class or anything (I'm sure that there are some narcissists out there who would, but I'm not personally aware of any). Basically, it is noticed whether you are someone who makes an effort to get involved in the university community beyond the bare requirements of your degree. You're free to pick and choose the events which you are most interested in (or which best fit your schedule). But I agree that when you are at an event, you should try to engage and socialize. You are kind of wasting your time if you aren't and if someone does notice you leaving extremely early, they might think that you are bored and take offense. It's better to attend fewer and stay longer.

Compartmentalizing like it's a full-time job (and otherwise living like I'm still a "regular" adult with a full time job) is helpful to me. I try to force myself to work a full 8-10 hours during the day, like it's a regular job. I then have evenings and weekends (minus some reading or grading on saturday afternoon sometimes) totally free as a reward, and the regular downtime is so helpful for sanity! Especially having that buffer of a few hours of relaxation between when I put down my work and when I go to bed. It also helps you avoid feeling like school is your entire identity, which leads to burnout for most of us I think (I know there are rare types that happily live and breathe their subject) -- you can compartmentalize it as your job and be a different person on weekends. It can be difficult when my classmates don't understand why I won't go out at 8pm on a weeknight, or professors in the department want us to go to events on the weekends, but maintaining these boundaries works for me so I try to be assertive about it. A lot of people seem to think studnt life means tons of takeout and not doing many domestic things beyond the bare minimum, but I find it soothing to cook for myself, grocery shop, keep my apartment clean, etc. It is stuff that I do 100% for me to take care of myself. I find it a little odd when people act like it's a charming "student life" thing to not take basic care of yourself or do the bare minimum domestically -- they are quite naive if they think they're going to have any more free time to start doing those things when they're working FT, even if not in academia. (No offense meant to people who are truly happy living on boxed foods in a dirty apartment -- it's just that being a student is no excuse, and it won't get any easier to take care of yourself after graduating.) Also, when you cook, make extra portions and freeze the leftovers -- you'll have plenty of nourishing meals for crunch times, and it's cheaper than buying lean cuisines.

I made it through my first semester without too many issues. I did do a lot of staring at a blank word document for many hours until I had to start panicking to get the paper finished in time -- that was a lot of unnecessary stress but my grades were fine in the end. I took the minimum full courseload and didn't work and was able to get all As without any medication. I've been lucky in that testing and writing are two of the things I actually do well -- it's juggling a ton of classes and homework that I have trouble with. So, grad classes, with the focus on a couple of exams or several papers during the semester and no graded busywork, have worked for me. This semester I may have to do some medication. I am TAing and have my own class, so when I blank out and go on autopilot for a few seconds, my students notice. I've written incorrect things on the board and had students correct me a couple of times or had to trail off into English (I teach a language) because I just couldn't think straight to finish my sentence. Unfortunately teaching isn't one of the areas where you can make up for ADHD by putting extra time in - you are supposed to be present for the whole time you are in front of the class and those 10 second brain freezes can cause problems. (Side note - I have considered telling my students so that they understand that this is not a reflection of my competence or how much I put into their class but refrained thinking that it's not professional to burden them with my medical info. Thoughts on this?) It's helpful having my TA office on campus, but I pretty much can't get work done when I'm not alone in there. I'm also taking a full courseload on top of a 50% appointment, which is absolutely not a choice I'd have made, but because of various factors it worked out that any other way would entail major financial or lifestyle sacrifices. My other major ADHD related concern is how it might be seen by professors that I am not taking on any optional extra responsibility or attending many events right now. I am pretty much at or past my capacity with my courseload and teaching load. My capacity is lower than many others' because I can't function without adequate sleep, time for a healthy lifestyle (like exercise and cooking), and downtime. I know that grad students can be expected to have much more bandwidth and juggle as many responsibilities as they can possibly get, and take the all nighters and lack of personal time as part of the deal, but I can't function that way. I worry that this will reflect in how I'm seen by faculty in the department - I wish that I could just take a manageable courseload/appointment so that I could participate more fully in everything but it wasn't an option. As much as it hurts to concentrate for so many hours in one day, forcing myself to get all my work done on weekdays is something that helps me tremendously. Being able to take full weekends off like I did when I was working keeps me from feeling insanely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Plus, when I go back on Monday and all my classmates are complaining about how they did homework all weekend, it makes the nights I spent going to bed at 9 and rising early to get back in my office when they were out partying (by which I mean going out to a bar at 8pm, lol) feel totally worth it I do my readings on a tablet -- it saves paper versus printing everything out, but I find I'm more focused than when on my laptop. Somehow the temptation to tab over to Pinterest or something is too much, but I can handle the temptation to completely close out of what I'm doing and open something else, like is necessary on a tablet. Plus I can put all my textbooks on it and not have to carry anything heavy.

Pay attention to others' body language and do not chat with them if they seem to be working. If they continue staring at the computer while you're speaking, and giving short answers, stop chatting with them. I have been pretty lucky with my office mates and office -- I have my own desk and no one is excessively rude or smelly. The only issue that I have had is that some are really chatty, and some seem to need to vent or get social support a lot after uprooting their lives to be here, so (as an introvert who doesn't work well with distractions) it's been very difficult for me to get work done when they are around. I'm actually considering avoiding my office for this reason and trying to work in the library instead. I have to figure out a way to say "Don't talk to me!" that doesn't make me feel like an ass. (Maybe headphones -- but I don't listen to music while working so it could get awkward if they ask what I'm listening to or notice that I have no music open?)

I live off campus and don't regret it. I'm a mile from school, so it's easy to get there. I also like not being surrounded by other students. I considered applying for student housing, but the application was structured in a way that you were bound to take whatever you were given and they couldn't guarantee a one-bedroom. I could have wound up with multiple incompatible roommates. The rents were also hundreds more than off-campus rents in nice neighborhoods (it was furnished with utilities included, but it doesn't cost that much to buy cheap furniture and pay for internet). I also had a horrible experience as an undergrad in a housing community for grad students, upper classmen, and honors students. I had to call in noise complaints every single night when I went to bed, there were fire drills at 3am all the time because of drunk people trying to cook and setting off their fire alarms, there was vomit in the halls and stairwells after every weekend and they often wouldn't clean it up and just let it bake in the sun, etc. That said, I don't think grad-student-only housing at a good price is always a bad idea. I'm very independent and have moved to new cities where I didn't know anyone and lived alone there multiple times. It would probably be easier to meet people in on campus housing if that is a priority for you. Also, the neighborhoods adjacent to campus might not be suitable for living in due to high crime or extremely high rent prices. Check out all your options and see what is best for you.

I contacted mine before class registration opened. I needed to know what classes to sign up for and other basic things. I didn't email them without specific questions, though.

I'm a master's student in a professional MA program (trying to keep the door open for a possible PhD, but it's not my main plan right now). For next year I do need an income source of at least a few thousand dollars over the year to avoid having to take out any private loans. I've found out that there are some TA positions open in the department next year and a few professors have asked me about applying, so I think I have a shot at one. However, I'm not sure if I should take one if offered, or even apply. First question out of the way...would it seriously hurt my rep in the department if I was awarded a TA-ship and turned it down for a better opportunity? If I would essentially be locked in, I don't know if I should even apply. It would probably be the most lucrative option available to me. However, it would be a sole instructorship for a language course (so class every day), and that idea is pretty unappealing to me -- I have taught children and hated it, and while I know that undergrads are different from 11 year olds, commanding a classroom is not one of my strengths. The idea of going into a classroom every day again kind of fills me with dread, actually. There is also a concurrent course that all TAs have to take which doesn't count towards my credits needed for graduation, unless I drop one of my concentrations (one is a professional plan, and the other is an intellectual interest "In case I do want to pursue a PhD/research" field). Between the time commitment and the extra class, it would limit the number of classes I could take without over-extending myself. If I keep taking classes at my current pace, I can move off campus and finish up with part-time online classes after my third semester, but with TA-ing I'd either be on campus an extra semester or need to drop my other concentration. For various reasons I do need to be careful about over-extending myself and maintain a lighter load than might be considered average (ADHD, desire to devote time to professional activities). I think it would work better for my schedule if I'm able to find some other on-campus or off-campus job, even if the total paycheck isn't as much. There are some project/research assistant roles in other areas that have later application and notification dates, I have been doing some remote contracting for my previous employer that could develop into more regular hours, there's an internship office with my program that I could work with to see if they have anyone that does paid internships, etc. However, I won't know for sure if I can find such a job by the TA deadline or even the time that they choose the TAs. Is it considered acceptable to apply and decline? Or to back out after accepting but with plenty of time for them to offer it to another runner up? If not, should I apply and suck it up if I do get a position so that I have some guaranteed income and no risk of needing to dip into investments or private loans, or not apply and take my chances?

From a practical point of view, most people do and should treat others like criminals to some extent. We keep a closer eye on our belongings in public than at home, we don't say our credit card or social security numbers out loud in front of others, we try to avoid altercations with strangers just in case they are violent. Every woman (with smart parents at least) is taught from the time she starts dating to watch her drink around men, don't get in a car with a man you don't know well, and don't go home with them. These are precautions I'd take with anyone but it would take me longer than usual to become comfortable not taking them around an accused rapist, even one that I knew previously. This is not exactly unfair or treating someone as "less than human" as I am certainly not obligated to leave my drink unattended, get in the car, go on a date, or go home with any man just because he is not a convicted rapist. It's definitely not treating someone like he is guilty, either. If I thought he was innocent I would try to hurt his feelings as little as possible without making myself feel unsafe and be discreet in who I told (only, say, a friend who was going on a date with him or getting flirty with him at a party). If I knew he was guilty, my sensitivity and discretion would be out the window. I don't think taking action to protect yourself means that you have no sympathy or empathy for a person or consideration for their circumstances. I would have tremendous empathy for a person who, due to a psychotic illness, had homicidal urges. However, I would still try to avoid situations where they could kill me. I don't fault someone who has to steal to feed and shelter themselves for doing it, but I don't want to be the one they steal from, and it doesn't mean that I consider myself obligated to not take precautions against being pickpocketed or mugged. Circumstances and motivation are just not relevant to whether I'm allowed to protect myself. I'm guessing you don't neglect to take precautions against other crimes just because the person who might commit them might have a sympathetic reason for doing it. And yeah, if it was someone I knew who was accused, I would probably start being cautious of him unless he was someone I was extremely close to and felt I knew extremely well (more than just a friend or acquaintance). Seeming to be a good person doesn't mean someone is incapable of crime, it can just as easily be the result of good social skills as being a good person (just like a person who wouldn't hurt anyone might come across as creepy because of bad social skills). It's just not something I'm going to bet my physical and emotional safety on.

Give it some time before you leave your department. If it's going to create professional issues for you, I would guess that you are going to start noticing a bias against you very soon -- it's unlikely that everyone would be professional for awhile and then do something to screw you over later on. It's not going to blow up a couple of years from now. And if you left to go to a new department or career, and they found out that you left your old program immediately after this information got out (someone from your cohort may know someone from your new department or job), you would look very guilty to them. It will probably affect your social life, of course, at least your dating life. People will talk. From a woman's perspective, this isn't about feminism or politics or gossip, it's a matter of our physical safety and survival. There are many, many rapists (perhaps most of them, especially with acquaintance rape) who have charges dropped or never formally filed because of a lack of evidence but are guilty, and they tell people they were falsely accused too. If I knew this information, even if I thought you probably weren't guilty, I would still be wary and tell my female friends to as well, because the consequences of being wrong about your innocence could be so great. This isn't fair to falsely accused men, of course, but self-preservation trumps fairness. It's sort of a fact of life that protecting your safety as a woman means treating every man like a potential rapist (such as meeting in a crowded public place, watching your drink, not getting in a car with a guy or being alone with him until you know him fairly well or are ready to sleep with him, even going to the other side of the street when you see a man or men while walking alone at night). Any man that isn't understanding of the necessity of being careful of all of them immediately comes off as suspicious. So, try to avoid acting too defensively towards women that you think are behaving unfairly towards you, and be extra careful about seeming overly forward or sexually aggressive towards women you may want to pursue (not that you would knowingly act aggressively, but guys tend to do it when they are drunk without realizing how it comes across). An aside unrelated to the OP's problem: Those who blame a wariness of men accused of rape on concepts like feminism or bandwagons should think about it from the perspective of a woman in a society where 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted (some multiple times) and the vast majority do not end in convictions, allowing the perpetrators to go around claiming they were falsely accused. Would you truly be more concerned with fairness and the reputations of men who may have been falsely accused than your safety and that of your friends and colleagues?

Thanks! Conveniently, I have been legitimately unhappy with the way some things have been done and have expressed it in the last few days. So, it'll probably look like I am quitting over this more so than as the result of months of premeditation. I am actually considering giving notice (and quitting) a few days earlier than planned just for the satisfaction of doing it, because I am putting in too much overtime to get much packing done right now, and to get myself off the "People you can hand an extra non-urgent assignment at 5:30 on a Friday when they're already working Saturday and you know they're having car trouble" list.

There's not really anyone I can talk to because it's a small company on the nontechnical side. The admin people work directly with the CEO, who is the person I am pretty much dreading confrontation with (and also the reason that the company isn't a great fit for me). He also keeps people in fear for their jobs, and I couldn't blame someone for telling him to get some brownie points after getting yelled at for something. I plan to minimize the chance for things to blow up by telling my boss before hinting to anyone else. I did receive word that my nonresident tuition remission request was approved today, so it's not as necessary that I be able to work until the last day possible, thankfully. But I also found out that the girl who used to do my job and was relocated (for a promotion) is moving back, so I'll potentially be instantly replaceable. I'm just going to give exactly 2 weeks -- which is standard, and is what company policy requires, and is all that would be expected of me if I were leaving for another company -- and hope for the best. I already have a month between my planned last day and classes starting so I don't need more unpaid vacation time, but I'll deal if it happens.

I hope it's okay to revive this thread, as I'm starting in Spring and giving my notice next week. It seems like most of you gave a lot of notice, if not an official resignation a heads up about your goals -- is there anyone that kept their goals secret and gave a standard 2 weeks notice? How did it work out for you? I've been working in a field unrelated to what I do long term, because it's one of very few that pays recent psychology graduates a living wage. I've only been at my current job about 4 months, so I haven't said anything about it, because I would have been replaced quickly. I've been trying to protect my own job security by acting like a dedicated employee and giving no hints of flight risk. In the corporate world, companies are looking out for their own financial best interestes in dealings with employees so I consider it fair enough to look out for mine, but I don't exactly expect my employer to shrug and say "It's just good business." I'm concerned about being allowed to work out my full two week notice, since it's not unheard of for employees to be escorted out immediately after a resignation. I have to work closely with the CEO on some things and he particularly is not going to be happy, and probably will not hide it. I'm also trying to decide how I should word it. I'm not sure if it would be better to say that I am leaving for grad school, and say nothing bad about the company but basically admit I have been planning this all along, or say that I don't think I'm the right long-term fit for the company so I'm taking an opportunity to go to school full time. The latter wouldn't be a total lie, my program has an online component and if things had worked out splendidly I probably would have done part time online classes for the Spring at least, and I don't see this company as a great long term fit for me. (My job duties and coworkers are fine, but the way things work requires a personality that thrives under pressure and loves a good crisis, and I am the opposite of that. There's a lot of needless stress and if I were to stay in this industry, I'd still be looking.)

I'm starting grad school in Spring and have a 2000 mile relocation ahead of me. Obviously it's going to be costly, so I'm deciding how I want to handle it. I'm also looking at 1BR or studio properties within walking distance of campus for various personal reasons. Getting a roommate is a last resort for me. I have the opportunity to live in on-campus housing for a little over $1000/month plus #100 parking. It's steep for the area (Milwaukee), but the apartments are furnished and the price includes all utilities including cable/internet and has a fitness center. I could essentially relocate for the price of gas because I can carry clothes, books, and small stuff in my car. The lease would go until the start of the fall semester, though, and they don't allow subletting. For the fall semester I could either stay in the same place or use my time in the city to line up cheaper housing. I could also try for a short term lease with another apartment. They seem to go for around $700 plus extra for parking, but of course that doesn't include all the utilities that the on-campus does. I'd also have to factor in the cost of staying in a hotel while looking at places (seems dangerous to rent one sight unseen -- even if you avoid scams there could be issues with the building that aren't apparent in pictures/reviews) as well as the cost of buying new furniture or moving mine. In past relocations I have used this method to save some money over paying more for move-in-ready temporary housing and it has wound up costing way more than expected (in terms of nights in a hotel, the amount of furniture required, etc). I suppose the best situation would be if I could sublet from a student who will be away for the semester. However, I'm guessing that those places go fast and that I would have to be extremely lucky to find one still available when I show up on campus. Since I'm 2000 miles away and plane fares are going to be at holiday prices soon it would be difficult to just stop by and check out sublets. I could always sign a lease without seeing the place but that seems risky. A big part of this decision is whether I should expect to be on campus for the summer. I'm in a MA program (dual focus, one professional one academic, and not writing a thesis). If I don't have a research assistant position or local internship or something, it would be much more cost effective for me to stay with parents for the summer. Do grad students usually stick around for the summer regardless, or should I not count on needing housing then? Any good/bad experiences with the above possibilities? I have done quite a few temporary relocations but I always seem to manage them poorly and wind up wasting money.