Protection from advisor?

[GeologyBird]

I am a third year PhD candidate in the sciences, funded as a TA. By many measures, I am doing well in graduate school (publishing, 4.0 GPA, receiving grants and awards, and will graduate on time). However, my advisor has been rude to me since I started graduate school (ex. Saying that I have a bitch face, providing feedback for grants like "I wouldn't fund you.", making condescending comments in manuscript drafts that either directly or indirectly say that I am stupid, telling me that American women are stupid and prostitutes, etc.). His words and actions have made me feel nauseated about staying in academia, especially as he is trying to find funding for me to stay on as a postdoc in our lab. At this point, I just want out of this community and would like to leave this experience in the past after graduation. He did not follow university regulations during my comprehensive exams, which resulted in my exams being more extensive than is normally allowed by my department. I passed, but my department head had to get involved to let my advisor know that his actions were not okay. I am now getting nervous that he'll try to pull something similar during my defense and dissertation writing. Is there anyway I can protect myself from (1) his habit of rude behavior and (2) his desire to buck the rules during my defense? My first few years, I thought this was just hazing, but as the meanness continues, I think it may be something more chronic...

[spamhaus]

Wow, that is truly abhorrent behavior, but sadly I have seen this pattern before. A friend went through something very similar with an abusive advisor. Interestingly the advisor had singled her out for this treatment, as other advisees were not treated in this way. She actually went to the department head and discussed the situation. In the short term that made her life a living hell as her advisor retaliated. In time though, as the advisor’s behavior became more objectionable, the department became quite concerned. In the end that professor was asked to leave the school. The department worked with my friend to salvage her dissertation such that she could graduate.

Considering the sympathy you received from the department head regarding your comprehensive exams, it seems they are likely to take your claims seriously. I would speak about the experiences you mentioned having and your concerns. Specifically ask what the department can do to help mitigate the fears you brought up regarding sabotage (this may involve having a trusted professor or even the department head on your dissertation committee).

As I mentioned, the professor may retaliate and that can make it very difficult in the short term. Make sure you have a strong support network. In fact it may help to set an appointment with your school’s Student Counseling and Psychological Services. Talking with someone can help ease the pain.

Of course it is always possible that none of these measures will effectively insulate you. Just look at the massive scandals of the past and present (Larry Nasser at MSU & Jerry Sandusky at Penn State). People in positions of power knew and the individual was able to continue their vile behavior. I sincerely hope that will not be the case for you, but it’s best to go into this understanding that even people in leadership positions are susceptible to clouded judgment.

As I said I am sorry to hear about your experiences and I wish you the best of luck!

[TakeruK]

This is terrible behaviour and completely inappropriate. If you have not already sought out help from someone who actually has power over your advisor, I think this might be a good time. I would recommend going beyond the department, personally. I'd go to the Graduate School itself. For the comments regarding American women are stupid and are prostitutes, you can go to your school's Title IX office (if you are in the USA) or to the school's human resources or similar department if you are not in the USA.

But as others said, the power dynamic is great and there's never a guarantee that you won't be retaliated against. Even if the country you are in has laws against it, be careful who you trust.

[fuzzylogician]

This is abusive and utterly inappropriate behavior. Sadly, though, to protect yourself, you need to be very careful about what you do, depending on your graduation and post-graduation plans. Some questions to get you started:

• Is there someone else who can act as your advisor instead of your current advisor? I ask, because it's entirely possible, if not likely, that if you complain he will know who the source was and that he won't appreciate it and will retaliate. You may be able to graduate without his support if there's an official complaint against him, but you also need to consider your post-PhD plans. If you want to stay in academia, it'll be hard not to has a letter from him. Your life will be easier in a variety of ways if you can switch to someone who is both not abusive and whose support you can count on. I would personally choose to do this even if it meant changing directions of research somewhat (within reason). 
• Is there a history of similar complaints being taken seriously? Or conversely of students leaving him and switching advisor? Do you expect to have your department's support? You may not immediately know. If he is famous and/or tenured, it'll be much harder. You'll leave in a few years and he may stay for decades, and politics may dictate that they'll prefer to keep the calm by sacrificing you. 
• Are there external resources to support you? An ombudsperson? Mental health services or a support group? The Title IX office? Regardless of anything else, you should seek this kind of support, because what's happening is not okay and no one should deal with it alone. 

It's sad that these are the questions you have to ask yourself, but this is the reality. I am certainly not advocating for continuing to take the abuse, certainly not as a default. But you need to consider what fighting back would mean, and what prices you're willing to pay. Make informed decisions, whatever they are. I would also urge you to consider that there are other wonderful people in your field, and that you shouldn't choose to quit just because of one person, if you otherwise want to stay in your field! Good luck to you -- I hope you can find your way through this and it all works out! 

[maengret]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You might have a look at online resources from Karen Lasky, who has been doing a lot of work on this issue under #metooPhd

[GeologyBird]

On 1/27/2018 at 7:04 AM, GeologyBird said:

I am a third year PhD candidate in the sciences, funded as a TA. By many measures, I am doing well in graduate school (publishing, 4.0 GPA, receiving grants and awards, and will graduate on time). However, my advisor has been rude to me since I started graduate school (ex. Saying that I have a bitch face, providing feedback for grants like "I wouldn't fund you.", making condescending comments in manuscript drafts that either directly or indirectly say that I am stupid, telling me that American women are stupid and prostitutes, etc.). His words and actions have made me feel nauseated about staying in academia, especially as he is trying to find funding for me to stay on as a postdoc in our lab. At this point, I just want out of this community and would like to leave this experience in the past after graduation. He did not follow university regulations during my comprehensive exams, which resulted in my exams being more extensive than is normally allowed by my department. I passed, but my department head had to get involved to let my advisor know that his actions were not okay. I am now getting nervous that he'll try to pull something similar during my defense and dissertation writing. Is there anyway I can protect myself from (1) his habit of rude behavior and (2) his desire to buck the rules during my defense? My first few years, I thought this was just hazing, but as the meanness continues, I think it may be something more chronic...

I'm fairly afraid of retaliation. Like the situation spamhaus described, the comments are directed at me and not at any other members of our lab. I have taken screenshots of some of the meaner, more condescending things he has written to me. I have also tried calling him out on this behavior, and his response has been that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that he is preparing me for what it will be like outside of the nest of graduate school. Unfortunately, my field is very small and if I tried to publish in the future, he may be a reviewer. I have noticed also that there is a culture of retaliation in our particular field. For example, he has people who don't like him in our field and harshly (and in my opinion) unfairly criticize his work. I like fuzzylogicians idea of going to our counseling center, but some things that I did not share here may border on things they have to report. I think I may see if an additional person can sit in on my defense questions and be bcc'ed on committee emails.

[spamhaus]

5 minutes ago, GeologyBird said:

I like fuzzylogicians idea of going to our counseling center, but some things that I did not share here may border on things they have to report.

What you have already mentioned is unfathomably bad coming from someone in a position of power over your career. If there are worse things you haven't mentioned, I would implore you to seek help, especially if you state these are likely reportable offenses. It is really beginning to sound like you may be an abuse victim. I urge you to seek professional help.

[GeologyBird]

Spamhaus- I appreciate your concern but my advisor hasn't tried anything physical/sexual with me. He has however, asked me or said things to me that are a bit beyond rude.

[maengret]

@GeologyBird  after I suggested Karen Lasky earlier, I got an email about a webinar she’s doing on this topic. What you’ve described so far does fall into sexual harassment. 

The webinar info is here http://theprofessorisin.com/webinars/, scroll down to this description:

#MeTooPhd: Sexual Harassment in the Academy

In this brand new webinar inspired by the Sexual Harassment in the Academy Crowdsource Survey (now at over 2300 entries), I will discuss the range and scope of sexual harassment in academic settings (including departments, labs, research centers, campuses, academic conferences, etc.), patterns of predation, options for victims, and recommendations to institutions wishing to combat this scourge in the #MeTooPhD moment. I will discuss the profiles of predators that emerged from the survey, common patterns of protection/enabling/silencing of victims by colleagues and administrators, and particular vulnerabilities of women of color and queer/trans women in these contexts.

I will address the reasons that academia is so conducive to this kind of harassment, and will focus in particular on helping vulnerable populations recognize and confront harassment, in order to empower victims and potential victims to protect themselves, find both formal and informal support and make educated decisions about going public.

I’ll discuss the pros and cons of filing formal complaints, the current resources and limitations of Title IX policies, and immediate steps that departments and disciplinary associations can take to lessen the occurrence of harassment on campus and at conferences.

Includes 30 minutes of Q and A

All who register have access to a recording, even if they can’t attend the live event.

This webinar offered at a reduced rate of $30

2/22 at 6 PM EST

 

The survey results are heartbreaking. I think you might find you are not alone which can sometimes help us.

 

 

[rheya19]

2 hours ago, GeologyBird said:

Spamhaus- I appreciate your concern but my advisor hasn't tried anything physical/sexual with me. He has however, asked me or said things to me that are a bit beyond rude.

It may not be physical abuse, but it is definitely emotional abuse and sexist as well. Don't dismiss the damage that emotional abuse can do. It almost always escalates over time as they wear you down. Please seek counseling, and consider carefully how much your dignity and self-respect is worth. 

Sending you hugs and good vibes!

[TakeruK]

5 hours ago, GeologyBird said:

I like fuzzylogicians idea of going to our counseling center, but some things that I did not share here may border on things they have to report. I think I may see if an additional person can sit in on my defense questions and be bcc'ed on committee emails.

Just wanted to respond to this point. At my PhD school, the counseling center (or at least certain people within that place) was a confidential resource, which means no action will be taken from them unless the student asked for it. In the USA, there are very very few exceptions, notably the Clery Act, where they must report if they have knowledge of certain crimes. Again, not sure where you are and which laws apply to the resources available to you. But if you are still interested in this resource and your main concern is mandatory reporting, you can ask them about their mandatory reporting responsibilities before revealing certain details. It's okay to not share everything if you think it might hurt you and although I can't speak for your campus, the people in these resources that I know always want to put the student first and they will not pressure you to reveal details that might result in a mandatory report. In some cases, they might stop you and let you know that if you continue, it might become a mandatory report incident so that you can choose whether or not to share.

[maengret]

8 hours ago, GeologyBird said:

 I have noticed also that there is a culture of retaliation in our particular field. For example, he has people who don't like him in our field and harshly (and in my opinion) unfairly criticize his work.

I wonder if these are people he’s treated in a similar fashion or who know what he’s like...

[GeologyBird]

Just to update- I spoke with a peer mentor who I really respect. They reported the situation to our university's EOO office, and now I have to meet with them. I'm going to make a plan for setting boundaries for what I will and won't tolerate, and draft a document with evidence of what was said and done to me in this program. One day, when I have a secure job, I'll let send this document to someone with the power to affect change. Thanks to everyone here for their advice. It all got me to go confide in someone.

[spamhaus]

I'm really glad you were able to confide in someone. I wish you the best!