Thank you gifts?

[unicornsarereal]

Stressing over little things! I've been holding off on updating my recommenders because I want to thank them properly. I think getting them a small gift and a thank you card is best, but I live very far away/in a different country so shipping will be a lot. I'm not sure if I should ship something from nearby or just send a hand-written note?

I'm wondering how people generally plan to thank their recommenders?

Edited February 27, 2018 by unicornsarereal

[LibraryLivingJT]

I did home-made thank you cards for the recommenders close by, and email thank you letters to those further away, and am giving my main mentor (mentor for the past 8 years), a nice gift - a handmade leather padfolio. 

[JustPoesieAlong]

I was planning on nice thank you cards. I'm not going to be able to buy nice gifts at this time. I've updated my letter writers and was planning on sending cards after I made my decision. 

[chellyfish_]

Okay related to this topic -- how does  one un-awkwardly ask for an address to which to send thank you's to recommenders?  Are you just straight-up with the reason for sending and ask if they're comfortable giving out an address? ie/ "I'd like to send you a small thank you, and was wondering if you have a personal or departmental mailing address it's best to send something to?" (If this, does anyone have a less awkward way to state it? hahah)

On the topic of gifts, what do y'all think about a nice, blank notebook as a gift?  'Nice' meaning not an office supply notebook, but something more like a journal, with a cover and maybe a tie around?

Edited February 27, 2018 by chellyfish_

[M(allthevowels)H]

When I was thanking my undergrad reccommenders, everyone got a candle and a card. Now that I'm thanking my MFA recommenders, everyone is getting booze.

(The MFA's culture is very boozy, so I promise this is perfectly ordinary for us. Your mileage may vary.)

[JustPoesieAlong]

Blarg. Am I awful for not getting actual gifts? I never do well in these social exchanges...

[bpilgrim89]

Since my letter-writers are also my thesis panel, I am getting them a larger gift, but in the past, I got people: fancier chocolates, spirits/wine, and even a decorative item that rings true of our relationship.

And of course a nice thank you card, whether it be handmade or made of really nice material like cotton paper. I think that's the most important part of the "thank you," especially since we're all such hyper-literate folk. Whether or not you get them a gift (or can afford to because let's be real about that!), the main gesture here is to be heartfelt and thoughtful with your gratitude, and for most of us, writing is the best way to do that.

Edited February 27, 2018 by bpilgrim89
To really emphasize the card!

[chellyfish_]

1 hour ago, M(allthevowels)H said:

(The MFA's culture is very boozy, so I promise this is perfectly ordinary for us. Your mileage may vary.)

LOL I was in the MFA program at NYU so I get this 10000%   Four bottles of wine per workshop was.....not unheard of 

[M(allthevowels)H]

45 minutes ago, chellyfish_ said:

LOL I was in the MFA program at NYU so I get this 10000%   Four bottles of wine per workshop was.....not unheard of 

You get it!

The first time the EGSA hosted an event and invited the MFA we spent the first fifteen minutes just looking around, surprised there was not actually a table with a bunch of wine on it. "Is it behind the soda? Is it under the table? Where do they keep it?"

[unicornsarereal]

3 hours ago, chellyfish_ said:

Okay related to this topic -- how does  one un-awkwardly ask for an address to which to send thank you's to recommenders?  Are you just straight-up with the reason for sending and ask if they're comfortable giving out an address? ie/ "I'd like to send you a small thank you, and was wondering if you have a personal or departmental mailing address it's best to send something to?" (If this, does anyone have a less awkward way to state it? hahah)

On the topic of gifts, what do y'all think about a nice, blank notebook as a gift?  'Nice' meaning not an office supply notebook, but something more like a journal, with a cover and maybe a tie around?

I'm going to send it to their offices which are listed online. 

 

2 hours ago, JustPoesieAlong said:

Blarg. Am I awful for not getting actual gifts? I never do well in these social exchanges...

No, I don't think so! I'm not in a position to give gifts and I dont think people expect more than a thank you. As i've been reminded, writing recommendations is part of their jobs

[a_sort_of_fractious_angel]

I'm doing nice thanks you notes since I'm in PA and my LWs are in VA - I know I can send those notes with minimal error. Larger packages make me more nervous.