Accepted by 1 program, not in love

[1996kayden]

So I was accepted off the waitlist to the one Developmental Psych PhD program I got an interview at (CUNY Grad Center). The research interest isn't an exact match, but I could probably shape it enough to be okay with it and I would gain skills in tech that I need (eye tracking). 

My main issues are that the stipend is crap for living in NYC ($26k) and that the classes are at the center in the middle of NYC and the lab is on Staten Island. The first thing anyone tells me when I mention this is the horrible commute (often 2 hours each way when the subway and ferry cooperate) and that there's no good place to live that's in the middle of those two locations. I also have a car and am terrified of figuring out how to have a car in the City. If the research was exactly my interest I would be more willing to look past these issues.

I feel like if I took a year or two off and did more relevant research to my interests and gained experience in eye tracking and neuroimaging I could get into a better program with closer research interests.  One of my main hesitations is that I don't have a job currently that would allow me to get more experience in those technologies (though I do have a job and could continue to support myself after graduation this May) and I am hesitant to reject the offer without a research job in place. 

I also don't want to be the jerk who keeps the program and the waitlist waiting until the April 15 deadline. But there's no guarantee I'll know about a job by then...

I had an interview for a post bac fellowship that I LOVED the research for (and just found out I didn't get the position) and after seeing a program I love, I feel like I'd be settling for this PhD program. I don't want to get a year or two into it and realize I don't like the decision I made.

Advice?

Edited March 15, 2018 by 1996kayden

[TakeruK]

I'll take a step back further and ask a "bigger picture" question: How important is grad school in general to you / your future goals and how important is a right grad school for you? 

For example, for me, I only wanted to attend grad school if I could get into one that I really loved. I would rather not go to grad school at all (and pursue a different career path) if I was not able to get into a program that felt absolutely right. So, if you feel similarly then it might be a good idea to try to find more experience and reapply later. I am not sure how post-bacs work, so are you still eligible for these in future years? Also, you can still re-apply to PhD programs again this fall if you don't find anything. 

On the other hand, if you want to be doing anything academic, then you might want to consider giving this PhD program a shot. Or, if you did really like this program when you first applied to it and just think that this is pre-acceptance anxiety, then you might want to give this program a shot. Maybe think back to the reasons that got you excited in the first place. I'm not sure if you have visited this program or talked to current students yet to get a good feel for the program. If you give it a shot, remember that you can always leave after 1 or 2 years if you don't like it and try something else. It would be harder to transition to another PhD program if you do this though.

Finally, I understand the hesitation to take a risk and reject certain plans for next year without a backup plan in place. But I do think that sometimes, we have to take manageable risks and get out of our comfort zone to find something we really want. If finding the ideal/right program is important to you then I don't think there is much value in a program that doesn't sound like it will make you happy. There's a lot of variance in applications from year to year and although it would be better if you had more things to strengthen your application, applying to different schools again in a different year could lead to different results too.