Desperation phase 1

[Pause]

Hi everyone!

I guess I'm writing this in a way to distract myself and hoping to get some good advise from you guys!

I applied to only 4 programs (BME/BioE) at Purdue, Pittsburgh, CMU and UPenn. I have only heard of CMU telling me that I didn't get in and that if I wanted I could join their masters program. Right now I'm not feeling very hopeful for the other 3 since I haven't had interviews after my applications and I haven't been notified of anything else.

Im really worried about what could happen in my personal life as a result. My boyfriend of 3 years is doing his PhD in the states and I live in another country, I can't handle another year apart and I had decided to stop applying if I didn't get in. So i guess we are breaking up if i don't get in. So, if i get rejected I wont only abandon my dreams but will also lose my bf. 

I have thought about attending the master, but being from another country with a weaker coin, my only possibility would be to ask for a huge loan. I'd have to come back to my country to pay, wich means I'd probably finish paying when Im 40.

So yeah! I'm sorry if I'm being too dramatic for you guys! I guess I just wanted to vent it out. Have a great day!

 

[rising_star]

Okay, so there's a lot going on here. It strikes me that you may want to meet with a counselor or therapist to discuss all of this. Below I'll run through what stands out to me:

- You say that you can't handle another year apart. Why is that? If you've already been apart for a while, what have you done to cope with this? Have you considered trying out additional ways to cope? How often are you able to visit one another? Might there be a way for you to visit more often?

- Have you considered looking for jobs, internships, etc. in the US so that you could be closer to your boyfriend? 

- Are there any scholarships/fellowships you could apply for in your home country which would provide funding to pursue a degree in the US?

- Are you willing to apply again next year? If so, have you thought about what you might be able to do until then to improve your applications?

Don't despair and totally give up on your dreams and your relationship. If these are things you're committed to, you have to be willing to go through some struggles to pursue your dreams.