Peer Review Please: Issue/Argument Essays

[mrhector]

Hello, may I have some help with having my practice essays reviewed? Thank you for your availability and help.

ISSUE

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Human beings are very complex creatures, reacting and responding in a myriad of ways to our surroundings, thoughts, emotions, and others. Although, humans have an astounding ability to adapt, physically, emotionally and mentally. This allows humans to behave in such a manner that is not entirely subject to forces not of their own making.

Firstly, there is a mind-bending lens called perspective. Perspective is one of the abstract advantages that humans over any other species. One of the characteristics about perspective that allows us to overcome external forces is that it is largely conceived in the mind. The things that are seen are not always as they wholly are. If all behavioral judgement is founded on what people see, we miss the profound elements of the human experience. Much of the potency that external forces carry, find their strength in the human mind. For instance, if I had a negative experience with dogs all throughout my childhood, I could grow up thinking all dogs are vicious – unless I came to understand that dogs are used to aid the blind.

Furthermore, this point gives credence to the power of choice. Attitude, a sister of behavior, is a choice. Because of this, people have another arm to battle external forces with. The power to choose behavior is what drives the focus of military officials and soldiers through moments of extreme distress, and fuels their humility in serving their beloved country when these soldiers are viewed as heroes. The human mind is a powerful component of human being that can channel external forces for its own advantage.

Although, this is not to say that environments and upbringing do not play some role in a person’s behavior. A child may very well take on the behavior of a father or mother in moments of much stress or joy. These complex, influential relationships in the home are the birthplace of phrases like “a chip off of the old block”. The yet-present weakness of this position although is that the child may move to a college education later on in life and adopt many different habits and perspectives. The issue at hand remains that our behavior does not have to largely be determined by forces not of our own making.

While external forces are a part of the human experience, our brains are constantly responding to them, the human’s behavior does not have to be subject to them because of the power of perspective and choice.

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ARGUMENT

The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview.

"Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed, our city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Such developments indicate that the symphony can now succeed without funding from city government and we can eliminate that expense from next year's budget. Therefore, we recommend that the city of Grandview eliminate its funding for the Grandview Symphony from next year's budget. By doing so, we can prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The recommendation presented in the budget planner for the City of Grandview possesses some assumptions that deem it questionable.

To begin with, there is a claim made that the citizens are aware of the want the Grandview Symphony Orchestra is suffering in its success. These terms of success are not defined. What does make for a successful Grandview Symphony Orchestra? Is there a lack of ticket sales? Involvement? Promotion? These are vital questions to ask, in order to determine what the city deems as a successful Orchestra. The orchestra may be very popular amongst student musicians, but have its position in a conference center next to a basketball arena.

Likewise, the recommendation assumes that having attendance doubled at the concerts-in-the-park series, is a weighty factor for an increase in popularity. This too, can be considered fallacious because the higher attendance may have been due to the fact that the concert was providing free food. Many of the local students may have joined the orchestra as well. It is difficult to justly conclude that there would be a rise in lasting popularity for the orchestra.

Lastly, to remove government spending because of an influx in private contributions is a weak force in the argument as well. In the last year, private contributions may be defined as the soup can-sized container next to the ticket window. In a whole year, contributions could barely exceed $200. If the government provided the orchestra with $20,000 while the private contributions hit a ceiling of $600, a 200% increase. Then, this would still only leave a proportion of 100:3, the government being a very vital contributor over the private contributions. The orchestra may very well need to raise the prices of their tickets, to hold larger events and have more support.

While the recommendation does strive to present some knowledge to support it’s argument, the judgment is not wise. There are assumptions made out of ambiguity in the citizen’s awareness, private contributions, and doubled attendance at the concert.