GRE AWA Issue and Argument Critique

[Kaitlin Wheeler]

Could someone edit my essays and tell me how to improve. These are my first practice essays and would appreciate further guidance. Thanks!!

 

 

Essay 1 The Argument Quiot plant.docx

GRE Essay - Experts.docx

Edited August 23, 2018 by Kaitlin Wheeler

[ANOM ASHOK]

Hey hi there Kaitlin, i have written the same argument essay? so if u want we can exchange.:-)

[ANOM ASHOK]

And i tried downloading the essay but its showing an error... Here is mine.

Q.The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing. "During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

 

My response:

In having comparing the two units. The argument stated have taken into consideration the following stated and unstated assumptions.

The author fails to take into notice that it has been past one year that the accidents are increased by 30%, but before that one year, were the employees of Panoply working more one hour than they are working now. This cannot account for the comparing of the two units.

The author fails to notice that the Quiot is a manufacturing plant whereas Panoply is industries plant. It is difficult to assume that both plants have same working environment. May be the Quiot manufacturing is more hazardous unit than the Panoply Industries plant. Therefore both plants may or may not have same working environments.

Another assumption author fails to tell is what type of accident are the manufacturing unit suffering, are they the same accidents that are faced by the Panoply Industries plants? Therefore, on what basis 30% more accidents are considered in the argument.

How can experts be so confident that the workers of the panoply plant are having regular sleeps. There might be some harmful chemicals in the Panoply that is why the worker hours are less than that of Quiot Manufacturing. So author fails to tell that how the experts have come to the conclusion that fatigue and sleep deprivation are the causes of the on-the-job accidents.

The author tries to explain via experts that reducing the number of accidents will increase the productivity. shortening the employees working hour of each shift But then the question arises how this can be productive as we cannot assume that employees will surely have adequate amount of sleep.

Therefore, author assumes wrongly the type of industries(both Quiot and Panoply), the experts fails to take into consideration the sleep habits of the Panoply industries and how the increase in productivity is taken into account .