Dealing with embarassment

[gummybear9]

Does anyone else feel embarrassed when people ask how their grad school search is going? My family all think I'm a genius so the fact that I didn't get into the top tier schools makes me feel like I failed, even thoughI really like the school I'm most likely attending. I'm coming straight from undergrad, and all my peers have been traveling constantly for interview weekends, but all I have is one visit weekend. My friends in different fields all have to choose between 4+ top tier schools. I'm happy with where I am but I just shouldn't have told people that I was reaching for the stars, because now they know I missed.

[whiskerplot]

I feel you. I try to focus on the acceptance I do have, and if people ask "What about XXX(school that rejected me)?" then I just say that the program I'm going to commit to was a better fit for me. Even if I were accepted to a higher ranked school, there's no reason to automatically choose it. 

Fortunately for me, not many of my friends applied to grad school this year, and we're all on the same boat. So our conversations are mostly like "Hear back from anywhere else?" "Nah" 

[Hougu]

I really don't feel like you should go to a school if you feel embarrassed about going to it, hell, I feel like you shouldn't even have bothered applying if you don't want to go there at all. If you are so dead set on going to a top tier school, maybe you should have used the money on your safety schools on applications on other top tier schools, at least that way you have a higher chance of getting the prestige.

[timkartar]

33 minutes ago, Hougu said:

I really don't feel like you should go to a school if you feel embarrassed about going to it, hell, I feel like you shouldn't even have bothered applying if you don't want to go there at all. If you are so dead set on going to a top tier school, maybe you should have used the money on your safety schools on applications on other top tier schools, at least that way you have a higher chance of getting the prestige.

He is not embarrassed about his acceptances.  He is embarrassed about other people knowing he failed for the top tier schools. That is pretty reasonable and happens to many.

[Izakawa]

Maan, be more grateful that you have some offers. Imagine what others feel about not getting any offer at all after applying for several years and with good profile! TERRIBLE feeling, believe me

 

 

Edited February 24, 2019 by Izakawa

[lsep]

I can relate to what you mean about living up to expectations being very difficult. I've become almost defensive when people try to compliment me or tell me everything is going to work out because I did xxx internship and have xxx experience. The world doesn't work that way, nothing is guaranteed! I get rejections all the time! So these emphatic assurances from other people really get on my nerves. 

That being said, it looks like you got into UC Davis and Riverside, which are both very good schools so I agree you should focus on what you have instead of what you don't.

[mntfr]

I spent my saving on the TOEFL the GRE and the applications I dont make that much money since right now I am a masters students with scholarship (less than $500 dls a month) and haven't got accepted anywhere this is kiling me, if I don't get in somewhere I honestly don't think I will be able to face my family