Accepting all offers and then backing out of all but one?

[ROM]

How "bad" is it to accept all your offers and not actually decide on which program you'll stick with till after you've REALLY had a chance to figure it out and visit campuses? This would mean first saying yes to all offers, then telling all but one school that you're really sorry and you made a huge mistake and actually, you won't be attending their program in the fall despite what you committed to earlier (and losing some money on tuition deposits, etc).

Does this happen all the time? I don't know who I'm afraid of pissing off, but it can't be good to burn bridges before you've even made them in the world of academia. At the same time, I feel compelled to visit the campuses I am accepted to before I make a decision and I can't very well do that without missing class and spending a fortune on plane tickets before April 15 (and no one's offered to fly me out; these are all terminal MS programs).

Were I to fake-accept all my offers, it'd definitely buy me some more time. I could visit in a month when it's most convenient for me. I don't know why I feel the need to prolong this horrible decision-making phase, but I just don't feel quite ready to kill off my other options yet.

Of course there's the ethical line of thinking in which other really qualified people on wait-lists are dying to get in and I would just be prolonging the torture for them and messing up their plans. What if someone who's waitlisted at their 1st choice, which happens to be a school I accept and then later back out of, doesn't find out they're accepted till August, after they've already made lots of plans to go to another school? I'd be pissed if that were me.

But then again, this is ALL ABOUT ME. In many ways this whole process is a selfish one. There's fierce competition. So is this type of move a seriously dirty trick? And should I care?

[ROM]

Hmm perhaps this answers some of my questions...

From another thread: http://www.cgsnet.org/portals/0/pdf/CGS_Resolution.pdf

[RomulusAugustulus]

I would be wary of doing that, particularly if your field is small (although that may apply to humanities more than it would to sciences). You never know what professors might be talking to one another and if they find out you accepted several offers, might view you as a bit of a loose canon and not someone they want to trust with their research. I have never heard of schools retracting acceptances, but there have been cases when they have withdrawn funding from a student they decide might not be the best for their program. I would rather, narrow down your choices to a few (best for your field, good location etc.) then ask those schools if they can give you an extension on making a decision, and if ask there might be a time you could visit, or a few profs/grad students you could talk to to help make a final decision.

That said, the final decision is up to you, so good luck.

[ROM]

I really would feel slimy and dishonest and probably really paranoid if I went the not-so-transparent route. Probably does happen, as evidenced by stories of people getting accepted off the WL last minute, but I have no legitimate reason to risk reputation by not taking the high road. There are other ways to make the decision easier, such as the ideas suggested above.

Thanks for the input and being a moral compass. Now I feel dirty for even thinking about it!

[a fragrant plant]

This is very bad. Academic world is small so it's not like they'll never find out. Your name will be listed on the graduate students webpage for at least a couple of years. You may argue that you can get away with it because you're only pursuing a terminal MS, but what if you encounter some of the people in a national conferences later on? How are you going to handle the embarrassment when your plan go busted? I would never ever risk my reputation to do something as foolish as this. Yes it's ALL ABOUT YOU, but you need to think long term. There are many other ways to gather information about a school without paying a visit. I found it extremely helpful to talk to current graduate students and potential advisors. If you haven't done that you should.

[robinsparkles]

If you aren't receiving funding, you can decline an offer you have already accepted at any time. The Resolution from the link above clearly explains that you need written permission from a school only if they have awarded you funding and you accepted the funding. If you're in a terminal MS program, I'm going to guess you haven't been given funding, so technically you should be fine. Personally I think it might be over-doing it a little to accept every single school and decline them all later, but maybe accepting just your top 2 and then getting back to them as soon as possible wouldn't be too terrible.

[ROM]

If you aren't receiving funding, you can decline an offer you have already accepted at any time. The Resolution from the link above clearly explains that you need written permission from a school only if they have awarded you funding and you accepted the funding. If you're in a terminal MS program, I'm going to guess you haven't been given funding, so technically you should be fine. Personally I think it might be over-doing it a little to accept every single school and decline them all later, but maybe accepting just your top 2 and then getting back to them as soon as possible wouldn't be too terrible.

Thank you; I guess this was what I was trying to get clarified. I didn't know if there was some unspoken code about accepting admission without any funding.

And by "all," in my case, it's just three.

Should have been more specific. I still feel naughty for even asking the question!!!

[shakespearebro]

I'm not sure I see the pressure here. Are terminal MS programs with no funding actually pressuring you to say yes or no before April 15?

[johndiligent]

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.

I know it seems like a good, good, good idea but it's a bad, bad, bad idea in disguise. There's a reason response deadlines exist and it's not because adcomms are evil and want you to make a split-second decision that you'll later regret. It's because they want to be able to extend offers to other people. If you wait even a month, the department could effectively lose the opportunity to offer the position and/or funding to another student. Or, by the time you make your decision, a student who badly wanted to attend but actually observed the rules of the game could be committed somewhere else. It's a jerky move.

But the people who care about that kind of thing are usually people who aren't selfish bastards. If you care more about you and the me-me-me-ness of the process, then don't forget that there are serious consequences for you personally. Academia's a small world and word gets around. People working in your discipline are going to recognise your name and usually there are friendships across departments everywhere. Especially if you're fake-accepting more than one department, word is going to get around and people will find out. You may have to one day apply for a job with one of the departments you're screwing over. A reputation as a douchebag is not going to help you.

Instead, ask for an extension. Most are amenable.

[robinsparkles]

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.

I know it seems like a good, good, good idea but it's a bad, bad, bad idea in disguise. There's a reason response deadlines exist and it's not because adcomms are evil and want you to make a split-second decision that you'll later regret. It's because they want to be able to extend offers to other people. If you wait even a month, the department could effectively lose the opportunity to offer the position and/or funding to another student. Or, by the time you make your decision, a student who badly wanted to attend but actually observed the rules of the game could be committed somewhere else. It's a jerky move.

But the people who care about that kind of thing are usually people who aren't selfish bastards. If you care more about you and the me-me-me-ness of the process, then don't forget that there are serious consequences for you personally. Academia's a small world and word gets around. People working in your discipline are going to recognise your name and usually there are friendships across departments everywhere. Especially if you're fake-accepting more than one department, word is going to get around and people will find out. You may have to one day apply for a job with one of the departments you're screwing over. A reputation as a douchebag is not going to help you.

Instead, ask for an extension. Most are amenable.

John dilligent, you seem to know more about this area than I do, and I'm curious about what happens to people who are waitlisted. Surely there are some people who are waitlisted at their top choices while being accepted right away to their safety schools. I'm assuming that many students choose to remain on the waitlist even after committing to a less desirable school because they still hope to be admitted at their top choice.

[SLPgirl00]

I really don't see any harm in committing to a few schools. Especially if they haven't offered you funding yet. Many times once people accept their offer of admissions, schools will offer funding. Most schools know that people get offered acceptances to many schools and the process is very difficult. I don't think you're ruining your reputation with the school if you say you're going to commit and then you decide that a different school is better suited for you. Many programs have people decline all the way up till the start date and the university just pulls off the wait list. It's not like you're doing it maliciously and I'm sure when you decide to back out of one of the schools, the university completely understands. If you narrow it down to two or 3 it'll give you a chance to really decide which school is best for you. As far as the people on the wait list. I can only speak for myself...I'm currently wait listed, but seriously I don't blame an applicant for wanting to be thorough in their decision making. I'll wait as long as possible and will hold out for my number one all the way up till the starting date of grad school. I'm sure you will go all about it in a very professional way to not burn any bridges. Best of luck to you ROM!!!

[ilikemoney]

I pulled out of a program once. I was accepted to an unfunded MA in March, and commited with deposit fee before April 15. I was then admitted to another program overseas in early May which I found more suitable and interesting. I felt no real hesitation doing this. I had paid the first school $300 and had intended to go. I wasn't a funded student. I guess there's a chance my acceptance may have denied another student a spot, but I doubt this -- I don't think they waitlisted and wouldn't have made any offers. I've never felt a pang of guilt.

However, I really intended to go. And they got $300 out of it.

In your case, you don't intend to go. I think, just on a personal moral level, that's different. You're knowingly intending not to go to one of these schools.

If it's an unfunded master's program, I really doubt many programs are going to think much about it if you withdraw. I doubt your professional career will be affected. ("Hey, remember that guy 10 years ago that decided not to enter an unfunded MA program?") Unlikely.

If it's a funded offer, Phd or Masters, you can't do this. Spots are few. You'll have trouble getting around the CGS agreement. You're fucking around other people's lives in a serious way. Don't do it.

[thepoorstockinger]

This definitely bad form. Whether you're legally allowed to do it is a separate question from whether you should do it. If you are planning on moving on to a PhD after the masters then this will almost certainly follow you. I would be particularly uncomfortable doing this in the sciences where you're assigned to a specific lab as it can potentially fuck up the lab's work in addition to the program's offers.

Why will you be able to make a decision in the summer that you can't make now?

Be an adult. Make a decision.

[Postbib Yeshuist]

But then again, this is ALL ABOUT ME.

No, it's not. That you think it is suggests you may not yet be mature enough to do the kind of work before you... It's probably been mentioned before, but I'll use my PhD situation as an example of why you shouldn't do that:

I was accepted at Iliff and wait-listed at SMU. SMU was my first choice, but Iliff was a "hey, you're in." To attend Iliff, I would have had to take a VERY serious financial risk (possibly not selling my house in time to move from TX to CO, uprooting my family, etc). Luckily, someone declined at SMU and I got in with a nice financial package, a better program for my interests and the chance to keep my house and just drive 45m one way. Now, let's say you had been the person ahead of me and you just said "yes," to everyone. Now I begin the process of selling my house, preparing to move to Denver (maybe I make a payment on an apt), we give our dogs away (rent is high in Dener compared to TX) and so forth. June rolls around, you finally decide, SMU sends me a letter (or doesn't) and now I've gone through all that...

Heck, I get mad just thinking that you're considering putting others through this. Please don't put your own selfish indecision before the very real lives of others who may be harmed by your inability to make a mature decision. And FWIW, if you did accept all, then dropped a few this summer and, in retaliation, all of the schools rejcted your acceptance because of the resolution you linked (and they might very well do this), I wouldn't have one iota of sympathy for you. Go with the offer that fits you best and decline the rest.

Sorry, that just got me kinda heated up. I see your follow-up, so it sounds like you're taking the high road. That's good to know. The comments about academia being a small world are especially true. Just don't take those chances with your career...

Edited March 31, 2010 by Postbib Yeshuist

[robinsparkles]

No, it's not. That you think it is suggests you may not yet be mature enough to do the kind of work before you... It's probably been mentioned before, but I'll use my PhD situation as an example of why you shouldn't do that:

I was accepted at Iliff and wait-listed at SMU. SMU was my first choice, but Iliff was a "hey, you're in." To attend Iliff, I would have had to take a VERY serious financial risk (possibly not selling my house in time to move from TX to CO, uprooting my family, etc). Luckily, someone declined at SMU and I got in with a nice financial package, a better program for my interests and the chance to keep my house and just drive 45m one way. Now, let's say you had been the person ahead of me and you just said "yes," to everyone. Now I begin the process of selling my house, preparing to move to Denver (maybe I make a payment on an apt), we give our dogs away (rent is high in Dener compared to TX) and so forth. June rolls around, you finally decide, SMU sends me a letter (or doesn't) and now I've gone through all that...

Heck, I get mad just thinking that you're considering putting others through this. Please don't put your own selfish indecision before the very real lives of others who may be harmed by your inability to make a mature decision. And FWIW, if you did accept all, then dropped a few this summer and, in retaliation, all of the schools rejcted your acceptance because of the resolution you linked (and they might very well do this), I wouldn't have one iota of sympathy for you. Go with the offer that fits you best and decline the rest.

Sorry, that just got me kinda heated up. I see your follow-up, so it sounds like you're taking the high road. That's good to know. The comments about academia being a small world are especially true. Just don't take those chances with your career...

I completely understand why this frustrates you, but applicants don't have to make a commitment to anyone else but themselves. Yes, it's very courteous to respond to offers as soon as possible to accommodate people on the waitlist, but I think it's a little ridiculous to make all of your decisions with the people on the waitlist in mind. While I wouldn't personally accept all of my offers on April 15th just to decide later, (what the OP is talking about), I just disagree with the fact that anyone has a duty to any other applicant. As someone who is waitlisted at one school myself, I can say I wouldn't want to force anyone else into making a decision they didn't want to make just because they felt bad for me. I'm happy that your situation worked out, and it was really great that you got a spot at SMU. I just think that when we all get into this whole application process, we have to accept the fact that we might get accepted/rejected/waitlisted/whatever. Although I'm sure situations like this can affect other applicants once in a while, I don't like the insinuation that anyone's acceptance or rejection can be blamed on another applicant... we all get accepted or rejected on our own merit.

(But to be clear, If this involved funding, my opinion on the situation would be quite different, because then he actually would be taking something tangible from others.)

Edited March 31, 2010 by robinsparkles