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ilikemoney

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Everything posted by ilikemoney

  1. I agree with you about soul mates. The reason I don't believe them is because, simply put, you're not going to have it all with anyone. You must compromise. The point is that even if you find someone at the right time with the right career and with all the characteristics you want, you are still going to have to give up a lot of things, many of which one can never foresee. For that reason, happy marriages are those in which communication and compromise comes natural. Those happy marriages you see -- I'd bet the house that they don't have it all. But they do have love and understanding, and that is as close to having it all as one can get. I think, no matter how old you are, if you're not willing to factor your partner in to your decision, that tells you everything you need to know. You haven't met someone that you love enough to make the compromises. There is nothing at all wrong with this. Putting yourself first in that case is exactly the right decision. But that is so different than claiming you can't respect someone who sacrifices for you, by following or making career adjustments, which is immature. If you really love someone and want to spend your life with then, then it really is crazy to lose respect for them because they want to sacrifice.
  2. I've always been surprised that Johns Hopkins ranks so high in education. I can't speak too strongly -- all my information about the education school is second-hand. I live in Baltimore and love the University. I'm going there to start a PhD next year to study social science stuff, with a focus on education. I'm surprised because I currently teach in Maryland, and I have never met a single teacher who has walked in and out of that building and left with a positive opinion. Unanimously, every person I ever have talked to has mentioned that the classes lack rigor and are unhelpful to their teaching. My old roommate felt so strongly he quit his all expenses paid master's program. Since the program focuses so much on practitioners, and not academic research, this worries me doubly. My guess is that three things push up its rank: 1) its close relationship with the business school (I feel like USNEWS eats that stuff up); 2) its participation in the IES predoctoral program (even though it seems like other departments really carry the work); and 3) the center for social organization of schools, which is sponsored by the university. My feeling is you can do a hell of a job studying education in departments like economics and sociology at Hopkins, but the research programs in the Ed School are, I've heard, lacking. Hope I'm wrong!
  3. Co-signing this. I sense resentment and that you don't see him as "good enough" for you. I hope I'm wrong, but only you can answer that. If that is the case though, DTMFA. You're just asking for misery. I can't imagine being in a successful relationship where I didn't fully respect the career and intellect of my partner. This is crazy, absolutely 100% certified bananas crazy. You would lose respect for someone because they made career moves -- that is, sacrifice -- to follow love? I can't fathom that. There are very few jobs out there where you can't do meaningful work because of your location. On the flip of that, there are a lot of jobs where you can do good, important, satisfying work just about anywhere. There are, and probably in academia more than other places, rare instances where both people have jobs in which location is crucial. In which case you shouldn't date that person. More often than not, at least one partner can make a move without much sacrifice. If you really love someone, really want to keep them, both sides will have to sacrifice at various times. If you can't do this without losing respect for your partner, save yourself some heartbreak and run for the hills.
  4. Not too different than yours, my friend. I live in the same city as the school I'm attending (Baltimore--> Hopkins). My last day of work is June 30. I move into a new house with my girlfriend on July 1st. Which means I'll have a copious amount of time to worry about furnishing and burnishing. (Has anyone used that phrase before? I just made it up.) My main focus is to get in shape again. I used to be able to run a 2:42 marathon and I weighed about 20 pounds less than I do now. So, twice a day running is priority #1. Included in that will be helping to run a summer running program for my Cross Country team. Otherwise, I suppose I'll read a few books on Sociology -- after all, I've only officially taken one course in it, when I was a freshman in college (say... 8 years ago?). This will be the first summer without work obligations since I was 14. And with trying to make ends meet on a stipend, probably the last.
  5. Perhaps my wording was strong. I still think transparency is the best option here. Be as open as you can while protecting your interests and that's the right thing to do.
  6. You are under no obligation if you are not accepting financial aid. Even if you were, you are allowed to back out of your commitment if you do so by April 15th. ("In those instances in which a student accepts an offer before April 15, and subsequently desires to withdraw that acceptance, the student may submit in writing a resignation of the appointment at any time through April 15.") Move fast and you'll be okay. If it's unfunded no one's going to get very upset (at least, they shouldn't).
  7. http://www.cgsnet.org/portals/0/pdf/CGS_Resolution.pdf "... However, an acceptance given or left in force after April 15 commits the student not to accept another offer without first obtaining a written release from the institution to which a commitment has been made. Similarly, an offer by an institution after April 15 is conditional on presentation by the student of the written release from any previously accepted offer." Point one. Legally you are okay. The resolution clearly states that you can't go to another school, but nothing about a private job. Point two. Ethically you are NOT okay. You are, as I'm sure you know, taking a position away from a deserving student. Perhaps they'll get off the waitlist, if your school has one. But they will know late in the game, which will cause that person undue stress. It's not fair. Why don't you ask straight up to your employer: "Am I going to get this job? Because if not, I am going to enter a PhD program. It would help me to know so I can do the right thing and not fill up a spot I won't be taking." Maybe they'll let you know your chances, or just tell you straight up. It's worth a try. If you do this, at least you made an effort. I understand -- you have to do what is best for you. I can't say I wouldn't follow your path if I were in your situation. But you might as well do good to everyone else in every way you can by trying to find out about your job. Even then, it's still ethically very dicey.
  8. Perhaps this is too straightforward/simple-minded, but I think you need to call your husband out. Given how you describe the situation, it sounds like he is being a dickhead. Yeah, sure, maybe he's unhappy with what he is doing right now. But if he is old enough to be married and have a kid, it's time to act like an adult. If he is attacking you for your success, that is totally unacceptable. Jealousy is one thing. Jealous people don't need to belittle you ("that's not even leadership!").... Just my two cents.
  9. Can't imagine there's a solid answer to that. Can you do social psych research in the Ed school? Do you ultimately want to do education-related social psych research? Another thing to keep in mind is that if you have a degree in psych and want to do educational research, you can still get a position in a faculty of education with a non-education degree. It's much more difficult to get a position in a faculty of psychology with an education degree. So despite placement within field, your options may still be better with the psych degree. A ranking of 5 vs 95 is a big difference, but not insurmountable. (For that matter, education departments are not the most competetive places in academia. Not sure how it ranks to psychology. No offense ed schoolers, I have graduated twice now from ed. schools. ) In any event, I would keep in mind your wider options outside the education school and evaluate that in terms of placement at each of your schools. Good luck.
  10. ilikemoney

    Baltimore, MD

    Bump... anyone moving here this year with questions?
  11. It's not like they give you a Govt' Issued Credit Card and monitor your charges. Spend it on what you feel you need to be successful in school, even if it's beer. You'll be paying it back and they don't really care what the hell you spend it on.
  12. I agree with you in that those universities had faculty I who shared my interests. For example, I applied to Stanford -- not Sociology, but Education. They have a lot of work on charter schools and alternative ways of organizing schools. They even run a few. I was interested in studying this from a comparative point of view (I have this background). Surely, they could accomodate me. But their focus is a policy approach, which I'm interested in, but in a derivative way. In any event, I didn't have a proposal that would really fit perfectly with their approach. I'm sure my grades, which were nearly perfect, and my scores, which were high, nor my record -- I have peer-reviewed publications -- were my limiting factors. It's just that something like two spots were available for what I applied, and they're going to -- I imagine -- take the candidates who fit better with their research plan. I agree with you that there are going to be a lot of people who are rejected from schools simply because they're not accomplished enough. If you have a 3.2 GPA and 1000 GRE, you're not going to Stanford. You can claim it's fit, but we know what is at work. Maybe this is true for me at a Harvard or a Stanford -- I could have had only 1 B on my record, instead of 2. And a few more points on the GRE. Or maybe my unfocused (relatively) personal statement wasn't appropriate for their program, and that shows I'm not a qualified candidate. That's probably true. But that's what I mean by fit. The focus of me vs. them isn't there at the highest level, even if I have the ability to adjust to their program. In your case -- you got into some top programs, and rejected from equally prestigious ones. Do you really think the difference between Berkeley and Princeton for you was your talent? Or how you match up in raw numbers against the competition? I very much doubt it. Seems more reasonable to think you got into the schools you did because you fit just a little better than other equally talented candidates with what openings were available. It's not really an "excuse" as you say for turning down an applicant. It's a legitimate matter of fitting better than others with just as a good a resume.
  13. There are a lot of people, myself included, who made the mistake of applying to places without paying close attention to faculty fit, but location and prestige. Seems common sense now but it certainly wasn't before.
  14. Just be up front. You'll be fine. I would suggest losing the freak-out attitude -- that will turn them all off a lot more than the multiple emails. Who advised you? The Department or a little birdy?
  15. Call them! Listen -- they've admitted you. They're not going not to fund you because you called. Your call may be the most important thing in your day... but just one more thing for the administrator who takes it. They won't think twice. It's just going to show you're interested. Time is running out! Call -- call -- call.
  16. Can you name the schools? School B sounds like it is full of jerks, to be honest. Why the animosity? Do you really want to be part of that "better-than-you" atmosphere of grad students (and even faculty, my god!) at School B?
  17. What Uni is this? Just curious.... Good luck waitlisters.
  18. I pulled out of a program once. I was accepted to an unfunded MA in March, and commited with deposit fee before April 15. I was then admitted to another program overseas in early May which I found more suitable and interesting. I felt no real hesitation doing this. I had paid the first school $300 and had intended to go. I wasn't a funded student. I guess there's a chance my acceptance may have denied another student a spot, but I doubt this -- I don't think they waitlisted and wouldn't have made any offers. I've never felt a pang of guilt. However, I really intended to go. And they got $300 out of it. In your case, you don't intend to go. I think, just on a personal moral level, that's different. You're knowingly intending not to go to one of these schools. If it's an unfunded master's program, I really doubt many programs are going to think much about it if you withdraw. I doubt your professional career will be affected. ("Hey, remember that guy 10 years ago that decided not to enter an unfunded MA program?") Unlikely. If it's a funded offer, Phd or Masters, you can't do this. Spots are few. You'll have trouble getting around the CGS agreement. You're fucking around other people's lives in a serious way. Don't do it.
  19. I got an MSc from Oxford. For me, it was worth it. I graduated with Distinction which helps separate me a little. I also made some good connections and was able to publish. But I suppose that has more to do with my supervisor than the school. I learned a lot and had a great year. I left with some debt, because, it is true -- funding is pretty much absent from MSc students. In any event, I taught for a few years and was able to get into Oxford's DPhil programme, which is competetive, as well as two fully funded offers in the US at decent schools (Hopkins, UMD). Forget US vs UK and think funding vs. faculty quality, time (1 vs 2 year), and consider the experience of living in Oxford. It's unique. Also -- though I'm not sure if it is true that a MSc/MPhil from Oxbridge isn't as respected in academia (everyone I know has done well) as a comparable US degree -- OUTSIDE academia, the degree is worth loads. Honestly, Americans are impressed by an Oxbridge degree, often undeservedly so. It opens doors.
  20. Good. GPA > 3.5 will help. Don't feel bad if you don't get 790V... that 99%. You can score like 650 and still be above 90%ile, which willl do the job. No reason you can't score higher on the quant. It's all basic math. A 750 is only slightly higher than 80%ile. You jsut gotta study and practice. Good luck!
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