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Bad email response from a prof...


aiaiaice

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I graduated in 2016 with an econ degree and now I'm trying to apply for sociology PhD. I never took a sociology class since I had no idea I was interested in sociology until after college. I have good GRE(170V 169Q)/GPA(3.88) and decent work experience, but the biggest problem is that I didn't try to build relationships with professors at all during college thinking that I'd never go to grad school... and fast forward 3 years, now that's the only thing I want in life. Smh. 

I'm visiting my alma mater for 2 days next week and I was planning to talk to a couple professors who might at least remember me and ask for recs. I sent an email to two professors, telling them about my current job and my decision to pursue grad school, and saying that I want to stop by and talk to them and hear some advice (didn't even mention that I want recs, although they might have inferred). One of them was my reference for my current job so I'm not too worried, but the other one replied with a very curt response: "Dear ___, thank you for your email. A note just to let you know that unfortunately with time constraints that won't work out."

She was never a warm or talkative person, but I'm a little shocked tbh since she once told me to let her know if I need a recommendation letter when I ran into her on campus back in college. Maybe I disappointed her by ignoring that and not ever contacting her...? That response probably means that she doesn't want to write an LOR for me, or that even if she does it will be negative, right?

I'm panicking bc one other prof who could maybe write a letter for me went MIA after not getting the tenure and everyone says she just got pissed and decided to fuck it all..

 

Should I just be brazen and reply with a request for a rec?

Or Should I try my French professor that I took 3 classes and wrote papers with, even though it's not related to sociology?

Or should I just get 2 recs from my job? (I'm a research assistant, i.e. Excel slave, at an international organization)

I feel lost...

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I think it really all depends on how you worded/what your email said! 

Do they mean meeting wont work, b/c if you're there for only 2 days maybe they just genuinely have other plans/commitments.

 

If you didn't specify or mention a LOR and only mentioned meeting up, she more than likely just has other stuff going on; would it be possible to ask her to speak on the phone? Would this be 'weird?'

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If you didn't explicitly ask for a LOR, you can't expect someone to know that's what you meant. Ask if they are comfortable with writing you a LOR. Maybe mention why you specifically asked this professor, reminding them about the class you took with them. 

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  • 2 months later...

Based on your retelling, you didn’t ask this “curt” professor for a letter of recommendation in the e-mail; you requested an in-person meeting. And it sounds as though you did so without giving even a week’s notice. Most faculty members simply do not have this kind of flexibility in their schedules to accommodate such a request. 

Faculty members’ time is spent on their own current students as well as myriad service obligations to their institutions and to the discipline. They simply don’t have the time to be at the beck and call of any one student, especially not a member of the alumni. And to make such an ask might be seen as devaluing that professor’s time. I would wager that’s how the request was interpreted. 

If what you want from this faculty member is an LOR, your best bet would be to make the ask explicitly via email. If the faculty member sees any need for more information that cannot be exchanged via e-mail, she will likely schedule a meeting with you.

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