Anxiety while doing research and communicating with my advisor

[nervynewcomer]

I am a first year PhD student and I've been through hell in my first semester. My adviser is world-renowned for his research and I was fortunate to have been accepted into the program by him. I have a hard time communicating with him because he has been travelling a lot the past semester and secondly I am intimidated by him due to which I haven't had good discussions with him so far. At one point he has questioned my motivation/interest in pursuing a PhD which is when I realized that I must have done something wrong. With coursework and preparation for my qualifiers, I have been feeling so overwhelmed that I can't really organize my thoughts and communicate what I have been researching so far. I have heard from the other students that he is not pushy or mean but I feel that I am being treated unfairly by him. Any suggestions on how to improve my relationship with my adviser would be highly appreciated. Thanks.

[nęm0]

You should write down the message you would like to convey to him. Write it down so that you have a better idea of what you want to say to him the next time you meet with him. Maybe his style of mentorship does not work for you, therefore it is incumbent upon you to explain what works for you and him to try to satisfy your needs. That's what a good mentor would do. If things do not work out, dont be afraid to switch labs. But I warn you, it may be frowned upon.

[nervynewcomer]

Hello NK Advocate,

Thanks for your suggestions. I was aware of the style of mentorship before I accepted to be his student and I expected that I will be able to adjust to it. I was previously working with an advisor who was a little more hands-on which used to be a source of motivation for me. I haven't been able to adjust well with the new place and the new environment (being away from home, new people and country). I also came to the conclusion that I may have the impostor syndrome (I feel like I've had this forever). 

Switching labs is very uncommon in my department and it would also not be in the best of my interests as my advisor will be in my thesis committee.  

[AP]

It’s ok to feel intimidated by your advisor’s career and overwhelmed by coursework. However, if you are not communicating your concerns, I applaud this not-pushy advisor reaching out and asking about your motivations. This probably stems from a concern about your intellectual well-being than an “unfair” treatment. You should take as a sign that they care rather than pesting them off. 
 

I was intimidated by my advisor until I graduated. In my case, I was relatively passive during my first year and he almost kicked me out of the program. I realized that graduate school is not a checklist and that he didn’t create any checklist for me to adhere to. Rather, learning is about exploring your interests and creativity. I’m not saying this is what’s going. But I am saying that doing what @NK Advocate suggested helped me: writing down what I wanted to talk about and talking about them professionally. At one point, I asked them if we could meet weekly because I needed the regular check in. He happily agreed (though we did it more virtual than in person). 
 

Adjusting also takes time. If you already know what works for you, it doesn’t hurt asking your advisor to provide that. Something like: “I wonder if every Friday we could have ten minutes for me voicing my state of research.”

good luck!