First Generation College Student... now PhD

[jessica_kansas]

I found it tough to get through college and despite this I was determined to finish. I know there are quite a few hurdles getting a PhD now as well as a fewer population of those that I can relate to. I would like to hear from those that are not first generation college students, but ARE first gen. PhD. I sometimes wonder if I'm using the wrong etiquette or am not preparing myself enough for what's about to happen.

If there is something I should know before I start graduate school next year at a prestigious university with a prestigious fellowship, PLEASE, do tell me!

Thanks, much appreciation.

Jessica

[JustChill]

This, of course, depends on a lot of different factors, but overall I'd recommend reading up on some of those books that are considered to be crucial to your specific field or subfield. I know there are three or four books that I still haven't read that almost every program in my field requires, so my preparation for beginning my grad program is going to be reading those books.

On a side note, rock chalk jayhawk!

[iLikeTrees]

Since it sounds like you have the motivation and capability do well in grad school, the biggest advice I can give is to form and use good support networks. There will certainly be days when you question what your doing and if this is what you want, and this is where you need friends that remind you that you really are awesome and can handle it. Great morale cheerleaders are essential to my sanity sometimes. :-) My family has always been a huge part of my support section because they really value education and aren't afraid to remind me of my strengths/weaknesses, but I know others who can't really rely on family support since they don't understand. Other grad students in your department or outside of it are great in this case since they have been through or are going through the same process as you.

The other part of the support networks means admitting when you don't know something and asking for help. It's always better to admit ignorance and get help before a challenge becomes a major problem. Everybody comes into PhD programs from different backgrounds and have gaps in their knowledge. Having the self-confidence to admit when you don't know and taking the initiative to fill in the gaps or build upon what you already know will really help you succeed. Your morale cheerleaders can also help here by giving you second opinions on your work. When I have to give presentations for a general audience, the feedback I get from my friends outside my field are honestly more helpful than my advisor and labmates since they don't fill in the jargon/background without thinking.

Of course all of the undergrad stuff of study hard, stay on top of your work, don't get behind, be self-driven, etc applies to, but I'm guessing you've got that covered.

(I should note that I thrive in a collaborative non-competitive atmosphere where the biggest person pushing myself is me with my advisor encouraging me to challenge myself and do better. If you're more a person that is driven by outside forces, I don't know how helpful my advice is.

Edited April 15, 2010 by iLikeTrees

[User Generated Content]

I can't recommend the following book enough if you're coming from a working class background:

http://www.amazon.co...e/dp/1566392918

Good luck not crying over the last chapter, though.

Even if you're not, finding allies is extremely important. And in my experience, most everyone will likely have little understanding of your lived experiences. I often find my colleagues have much better understandings than I of the system and the hurdles to be crossed. I try to be as open about my ignorance of some of this stuff as possible, and it seems to be working well. Finding an advisor that understood where *I* was at was also crucial to the success I've had.

I think the most difficult part for me has been coming back home for the holidays. My folks don't understand what I do, and I come home speaking leftist polysyllabic gibberish. They're incredibly supportive...but its been a bit alienating with relatively well off colleagues on one hand, and my parents on the other. The socialization of academia has been transformative, and I don't think I was ready for it when I entered my program. I'm still kind of not ready for it.

But I'm doing it. And so will you, if you choose.

Edited April 15, 2010 by User Generated Content

[BionicKris]

I'll be a first gen PhD in the fall. My father is in the USAF and my mom went back to school when I was around 12 to finish her bachelor's and master's (do I still count?). The type of program she did was completely clinical in study so I'm sort of winging it on how to act in a research based program. A lot of the people I met when I visited my school for recruitment weekend seemed like they took everything entirely too seriously. Naturally, this made me wonder if I wasn't taking it seriously enough. It seemed like the only thing anyone talked about the entire weekend was what other schools they'd visited/applied to and what they were going to study. I kept wondering if I was the only one there that was wondering if speaker knew his toupee was on incorrectly. I know that grad school is going to be hard and that I'm going to have work hard, etc. But I feel like everyone that's come from a background steeped in higher education takes the entire experience to the extreme. It seems like many people I've met want everyone to know they're smart just because they are. I'm more of the type of person that turns on my brain when necessary, but also gives it a break by indulging in escapist novels and the rare trip to a club.

Outside of that, I do worry that I won't measure up to my peers. It's gotten to the point that sometimes I wonder if I'm even cut out for it. I guess I'll really find out when I get there. I think one of the biggest things keeping me going is a strong desire to not have to work an hourly job for the rest of my life. I have deep respect for people that do it, and feed their families on it, but I'd lose my mind.

My family, in general, is always saying how proud they are of me, etc. I do sometimes wish that I had more people in my family with PhD's in any discipline, but especially science. I can't stand not being able to talk science with my family when I go home. It's akin to that e-trade commercial where the baby pops up and says "milk-a-what?" It's great that they try to listen, but I can tell that they're intensely bored. Either way, I'm anxious and scared about grad school because it's brand new for me. I'm hoping there are others in my program that can relate.

[Serric]

I'm both a first-generation college student (I'm actually the first person in my family to have earned a four-year degree) and a first-generation Ph.D. student (I'll be starting at UM Ann Arbor this coming Summer).

For me, I suppose, the idea of a PhD is both exciting and scary. Scary because it's something I've never done before, I know it's going to require a massive time commitment, and partially because I know it's going to require picking up a bunch of complex skills on the fly. It's also exciting; both for those same reasons and because, well, I love learning and I always have.

As for preparation...I'm really just looking at the PhD program as another 'step' upwards. My mom is about as far from academic as it's possible to be. My dad is brilliant with history, but never cared for science/math while he was in school, so I've been on my own since algebra in the seventh grade. I dealt with the practical matters of high school, college applications, college, and grad school applications with no input from family; I'll be able to deal with graduate school in a similar fashion.

My family, however, does provide a huge social network. Although I've already experienced that sort of distance between most members of my family in describing what I do in school and in the lab, my father, mother, and stepmother are all very supportive of what I want to do. My dad is really starting to get into Carl Sagan and science-y stuff in general, so--although he doesn't understand everything--he enjoys learning about it and my descriptions of it.

[jessica_kansas]

I can't recommend the following book enough if you're coming from a working class background:

http://www.amazon.co...e/dp/1566392918

Good luck not crying over the last chapter, though.

Even if you're not, finding allies is extremely important. And in my experience, most everyone will likely have little understanding of your lived experiences. I often find my colleagues have much better understandings than I of the system and the hurdles to be crossed. I try to be as open about my ignorance of some of this stuff as possible, and it seems to be working well. Finding an advisor that understood where *I* was at was also crucial to the success I've had.

I think the most difficult part for me has been coming back home for the holidays. My folks don't understand what I do, and I come home speaking leftist polysyllabic gibberish. They're incredibly supportive...but its been a bit alienating with relatively well off colleagues on one hand, and my parents on the other. The socialization of academia has been transformative, and I don't think I was ready for it when I entered my program. I'm still kind of not ready for it.

But I'm doing it. And so will you, if you choose.

Thanks I've been reading tons of books and I will add this to my list. One that was helpful was "Getting Get What you Came For" which was pretty negative but also realistic in creating relationships with faculty and advisers.

What I do need is now to cope with differences b/w my family and myself and of course my peers. I've decided not to really get into what I do with my family because they don't completely understand. Half of them didn't really pay attention in HS chemistry so it isn't something that I can expand upon over Thanksgiving dinner. My parents never went too much farther than factory work and some basic education although my recent dedication to school has actually encouraged THEM to get some sort of education.

I have been reading up on my research field too so I think that will help. Although the PASD that is in another forum topic might get a hold over me before I get to grad school! I have to work on getting that ally group started ASAP b/c I'll need since I think my school might be really competitive. I'm hoping to be able to teach my peers something as well as learn from them!

[hamster]

I'll be a first gen PhD in the fall. My father is in the USAF and my mom went back to school when I was around 12 to finish her bachelor's and master's (do I still count?). The type of program she did was completely clinical in study so I'm sort of winging it on how to act in a research based program. A lot of the people I met when I visited my school for recruitment weekend seemed like they took everything entirely too seriously. Naturally, this made me wonder if I wasn't taking it seriously enough. It seemed like the only thing anyone talked about the entire weekend was what other schools they'd visited/applied to and what they were going to study. I kept wondering if I was the only one there that was wondering if speaker knew his toupee was on incorrectly. I know that grad school is going to be hard and that I'm going to have work hard, etc. But I feel like everyone that's come from a background steeped in higher education takes the entire experience to the extreme. It seems like many people I've met want everyone to know they're smart just because they are. I'm more of the type of person that turns on my brain when necessary, but also gives it a break by indulging in escapist novels and the rare trip to a club.

Outside of that, I do worry that I won't measure up to my peers. It's gotten to the point that sometimes I wonder if I'm even cut out for it. I guess I'll really find out when I get there. I think one of the biggest things keeping me going is a strong desire to not have to work an hourly job for the rest of my life. I have deep respect for people that do it, and feed their families on it, but I'd lose my mind.

My family, in general, is always saying how proud they are of me, etc. I do sometimes wish that I had more people in my family with PhD's in any discipline, but especially science. I can't stand not being able to talk science with my family when I go home. It's akin to that e-trade commercial where the baby pops up and says "milk-a-what?" It's great that they try to listen, but I can tell that they're intensely bored. Either way, I'm anxious and scared about grad school because it's brand new for me. I'm hoping there are others in my program that can relate.

Don't worry. There will be others like you. I bet some of those at recruitment weekend were faking it a bit to fit in. I know I did a little. I come from a similar background to yours plus I'm an older nontraditional student and I was afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb. Maybe you could befriend an oldster like me, we usually know the pleasures of escapist reads and (very) occasional clubbing.

[ScreamingHairyArmadillo]

I can't recommend the following book enough if you're coming from a working class background:

http://www.amazon.co...e/dp/1566392918

Good luck not crying over the last chapter, though.

I just requested this book from OhioLink and see that about half of the copies are in circulation right now. Nice to know there are more of us around.

I find my situation similar to others already posted: supportive family, interested in what I'm doing, but I'm definitely the first one doing graduate school. My family is a mix of college educated and working class heroes (usually in the same person), as are many of my friends. I just feel strange forging a so-far solid path in academia (and things are always looking more positive the more I communicate with my future advisor), while many of my family and old friends are in this totally other world. A world I used to be part of, too. I wonder, how did I get here and why aren't some of you with me?

[Bluesprite]

Definitely going to pick up that book. I'm a first-gen student, the oldest (at 30) in my new cohort, and the only one who didn't go to a top-tier Ivy League or equivalent school for their BA. I had the benefit of a self-educated mother who took me to museums, read to us every night, and who pushed education from day one, so I consider myself lucky, but I've started feeling that divide between me and my family for the first time as no one in the family has any idea of what goes on at the grad school level. When I tell anyone back home what I'm doing (PhD in archaeology), the inevitable next questions are "So what are you going to do with that? How are you going to make any money?" I'm not so worried about being able to keep up, I'm more concerned about not being able to relate to anyone in my program, and now, not being able to relate to anyone back home either... At the recruitment event, when I told other students in my program that I'm from a small rural town, that I went to a state university they've never heard of, they act almost embarrassed for me. I feel like they're all wondering how in the hell I got into our top-tier program. I'm proud of my background, the women in my family were all smart, independent, tough-as-nails Dustbowl refugees who went through hell to see me do this, but it doesn't leave me a lot of common ground with my upper middle class 24yo classmates. I'm afraid the next 5-7 years are going to be painfully lonely at this rate.

[BionicKris]

Definitely going to pick up that book. I'm a first-gen student, the oldest (at 30) in my new cohort, and the only one who didn't go to a top-tier Ivy League or equivalent school for their BA. I had the benefit of a self-educated mother who took me to museums, read to us every night, and who pushed education from day one, so I consider myself lucky, but I've started feeling that divide between me and my family for the first time as no one in the family has any idea of what goes on at the grad school level. When I tell anyone back home what I'm doing (PhD in archaeology), the inevitable next questions are "So what are you going to do with that? How are you going to make any money?" I'm not so worried about being able to keep up, I'm more concerned about not being able to relate to anyone in my program, and now, not being able to relate to anyone back home either... At the recruitment event, when I told other students in my program that I'm from a small rural town, that I went to a state university they've never heard of, they act almost embarrassed for me. I feel like they're all wondering how in the hell I got into our top-tier program. I'm proud of my background, the women in my family were all smart, independent, tough-as-nails Dustbowl refugees who went through hell to see me do this, but it doesn't leave me a lot of common ground with my upper middle class 24yo classmates. I'm afraid the next 5-7 years are going to be painfully lonely at this rate.

I totally agree with you Bluesprite! I went to a small HBCU and everyone I say that to looks at me like "where in the hell is that?" It's frustrating having to deal with intellectual snobs and even more frustrating having to do it with a smile on my face. It's great to be smart, and to be engaged in stimulating conversation, but do I have to deal with the "I can't believe she knows that " look every time I say something of even mild importance? Even if you deal with people that are busy looking down their noses at you, there's always gradcafe! I know you can't take us out on the town with you, but many of us here can relate. Having to worry about what your peers are thinking of you while simultaneously doing something alien to you makes the whole experience daunting. I wish you the best of luck in your archaeology program (which I think is totally awesome!), and hopefully you'll find someone else in your program that is a kindred spirit and not a human construct of snobby McSnobberism.

[samjones]

i think this is a great thread and its one that i can relate to. i'm really interested in learning the politics of grad school (i.e., networking, getting published, collaborating with other academics). i think knowing how to study and staying motivated are totally valuable topics for the thread but i also feel like those are skills that have been well-developed in college for most people making it into graduate school. that is, at least for me, as a first-gen PhD student in the social sciences, the skills that i didn't necessarily need to get through college (i.e., academic politics) are the skills i would be interested in hearing advice on...

[biomed2010]

I am a first generation American and college graduate. I will be starting a PhD program in the sciences in the Fall. I am already facing challenges in terms of relating to my family and now I wonder how things will develop. I am pretty nervous about going to visit my family before school starts. They keep asking questions like "Why aren't you going to school to be a real doctor?" and "What kind of job will you get?" , "Will you still be a good wife?" and my least favorite, "How long will this get in the way of starting your family?" Ahhhhhhhh. Most of the women in my family are homemakers.

I am a nontraditional student, going back to school after working several years and am totally stressed out about keeping up with my home life, commuting to campus and doing well. It is really great to know I am not the only one worrying about getting started in the Fall. I hope this thread stays lively so we can support each other through this transition. I have heard so many horror stories of students tanking in graduate programs because of poor social skills. It really is about more than the academics. Good luck to my fellow first gen students in gearing up for the first year!

[BionicKris]

@biomed: A "REAL" doctor? *scoffs* MD's wish they could be as hard as PhD's! I had the pleasure of dealing with that sentiment with my family, but mostly because I started off wanting to go to Med school. I swiftly change my mind. Academia has my name written all over it. Thankfully my family is full of people who want small children so I haven't had to deal with the "when are you having kids" conversation.

@samjones: I was just having this conversation with a friend. I suck at politics. I'm the person that says what she means whenever she wants. I don't think this is a good quality for navigating the murky waters of academia. I don't even know where to begin on this issue, which is probably even worse. How can I play the game if I don't even know the rules?

[jessica_kansas]

@samjones: I was just having this conversation with a friend. I suck at politics. I'm the person that says what she means whenever she wants. I don't think this is a good quality for navigating the murky waters of academia. I don't even know where to begin on this issue, which is probably even worse. How can I play the game if I don't even know the rules?

This is actually the primary reason I started this thread. Academic politics are a whole different world. Networking and being as friendly and active as possible is the only thing I've seen so far. There's also a lot that goes along with getting the job done and being a post doc, etc. I'm kind of clueless and don't want to get lost!

[jkppkj]

What I do need is now to cope with differences b/w my family and myself and of course my peers. I've decided not to really get into what I do with my family because they don't completely understand. Half of them didn't really pay attention in HS chemistry so it isn't something that I can expand upon over Thanksgiving dinner. My parents never went too much farther than factory work and some basic education although my recent dedication to school has actually encouraged THEM to get some sort of education.

I'm kind of in between on the first-generation classification, I grew up in a house with my grandma who was the valedictorian of her college graduating class but never was able to utilize her teaching degree as she worked two or more full time jobs as a single mother to avoid the perceived indignity of using food stamps or government handouts to raise a family of six by herself. My father earned his GED and works as a mechanic and my mother was a housewife who graduated from a teen mothers high school program. One one side of my family, I do have an aunt and uncle who earned Masters degrees and a great-uncle who was a literature professor, so I think I've managed not to experience the lack of support or understanding that many other students on Pell Grants experienced as undergrads.

However, as I go forward I find it harder and harder to relate to some members of my family about my professional/academic life, the easiest conversations at family outings were when I worked construction. When I started working in the lab one of my uncles asked me what I was doing; after I tried to explain why it mattered what genes were being expressed by a species of metal-resistant bacteria he simply replied, "So what you're saying is that I won't understand a single word out of your mouth in a couple more years." Half of me felt like it was a compliment given his tone and body language but the other half of me knows that I'm perceived to be putting on "airs" and that I'm a bit out of place. Coping with the difference between my family and myself is no easy task, I struggle to not insult them by "dumbing down" or being dismissive about what research I'm interested in or talking about specifics that I'm really interested in a manner that a results in "not a single word being understood." I'm sure there is some happy medium and I will learn to find it with time.

My concern as I get ready to move more than 1,500 miles from home to a city where I know exactly 0 people, is that my life will be built around my academic career and accordingly I'm going to interact primarily with people from a wealthy background attending a private university. I want to have friends who are "real" people with "real" jobs, I value my family and the jobs they do and respect the lives they live (as I value the life/career I'm choosing to build for myself), and I'm afraid I will lose touch with reality and find it hard to live in "the bubble" that I never thought I'd be willing to enter.

I think someone already said what I'm trying to, but just a bit better

"I'm proud of my background, the women in my family were all smart, independent, tough-as-nails Dustbowl refugees who went through hell to see me do this, but it doesn't leave me a lot of common ground with my upper middle class 24yo classmates. I'm afraid the next 5-7 years are going to be painfully lonely at this rate."

[samjones]

This is actually the primary reason I started this thread. Academic politics are a whole different world. Networking and being as friendly and active as possible is the only thing I've seen so far. There's also a lot that goes along with getting the job done and being a post doc, etc. I'm kind of clueless and don't want to get lost!

i was hoping this thread would result in loads of political wisdom for us first gen PhD students. no such luck, i guess! i suppose the timing might be off since things slow down around here after decision season.

but anyway, i recently started working full-time for an advocacy organization in new york city. and i'm starting to realize that my boss plays a cunning game of politics with colleagues and other persons of interest, and it's a game i could definitely take notes from.

my boss is a committee member for a un commission, a member of various impromptu groups that meet every once in a while and the director of our division which conducts research on certain issues in various countries and allocates grants to projects and organizations that work to confront certain issues.

what i am just beginning to glean is that it is VERY important to know (really know) who you're talking to you and how you can present your position in a way that they want to hear and/or can be made receptive. also, hold your cards a little closer to your chest with most people and don't pass too much judgement around (aloud). i feel like both of these things can be applied to making it through grad school successfully in ways that help you make it in academia in general. and when i say "make it," i don't just mean slide by and i hope that employing those skills mentioned help a person do much more than slide by. like you, i will probably have to wing my first couple of years.

oh, also: presentation. my boss hardly takes care of much besides presentation and it seems to have worked VERY well for her in her profession. it's amazing.

Edited April 23, 2010 by samjones

[daimiasue]

I love this thread....I am also first generation PhD and I have really bad impostor syndrome. It's nice to know that there are others out there who have the same fears that I do. My family excluding my dad are all very supportive of what I do. I will be honest and say that I never try to talk about what I do with my family...most of them won't get it ad the little time that we do have together is spent reminiscing and having fun. Most of the know I got into a PhD program and that I want to do research. The resounding chorus after that is " how do you plan to use it back home?" (home is a small developing country with zero research). I answer politely that when I get ready to return home I will teach.THE END.

I am nervous of the prospect of moving to a new state and school where I know almost no one but I am excited. I didn't get the traditional college experience because two of my best friends and a bunch of other people I know came here too. I am praying that I'll be able to balance my studies and social life but I doubt it since I'm in undergrad and have no social life. But we'll see. I hope this thread keeps going, if for nothing else...moral support.

[BionicKris]

I am nervous of the prospect of moving to a new state and school where I know almost no one but I am excited. I didn't get the traditional college experience because two of my best friends and a bunch of other people I know came here too. I am praying that I'll be able to balance my studies and social life but I doubt it since I'm in undergrad and have no social life. But we'll see. I hope this thread keeps going, if for nothing else...moral support.

I feel your pain. I definitely feel your pain. I went to a small school where it seemed that most of my peers were more about partying than actually preparing for the next phase of their lives. Needless to say, I had a VERY small circle of friends that consisted of myself, my boyfriend, our roommate and my lab partner. I had people that I spoke to at work and various other places, but none of them were people I'd call up and say "hey, let's catch a movie." I also worry about balancing social life with work life for that very reason. I think my grad program will be different than undergrad for the simple fact that I'll be around people that are (mostly) serious about their work. I can relate to people on that level better than I can those that want to party all night and then wonder why they flunked out of a class.

I pretty much never had to deal with balancing a social life with anything else, and from what I've been told having that is just as important to grad school as studying is. It seems like it's very easy for people who've been through it and who have PhD's or professional degrees in their families to say plan, plan, plan, but, as with all things, that's easier said than done. I sometimes don't think that people fully understand just how difficult it is to not have been surrounded by the upper echelon of education for one's entire life. Sometimes, it just helps to have someone who is going through what you are help ease the churning emotions within.

Kudos on teaching. I plan to do that as well, at the school I graduated from no less.

[American in Beijing]

What a great thread! How I missed it for so long, I have no idea!

I'm not a first-generation undergrad in the strictest sense of the word. However, I am a first-generation humanities undergrad (the few who do have degrees in my family have degrees in practical things like Business and Accounting), and 100% the first person in my family to even think about getting a PhD. Here's my rant about how difficult it can be to deal with academic/non-academic culture shock.

Like many who have already posted, the education gap means that I often find it hard to relate to my family. This is nothing new. Ever since I was in middle/high school my parents have been telling me to stop talking so "Shakespearean" (their way of saying that I shouldn't use polysyllabic words like . .. "polysyllabic" and "therefore"). My siblings also never fail to remind me that my topics of conversation are "nerdy" and "boring." It doesn't help that many in my extended family are devout Fundamentalist Christians, meaning that it's even harder to find a point of intellectual commonality. As a child I got by mostly by playing the part of the sullen teenager to my immediate family or the quietly polite girl to those in my extended family. I found the less I opened my mouth, the easier it was to get by.

Now that I'm older, it's becoming a lot harder to hide my opinions and feelings. Having lived away from my family and the small town I grew up in, I've experienced what it can be like to live in a place where knowledge is seen as beneficial, rather than threatening or scary. When I go back home (admittedly not very often) it is even harder to be patient and stand by while people say ridiculous things such as "Muslims have always hated Christians," "Czechoslovakia is still a country," and "China used to own the entirety of Siberia." But by correcting these factual errors I get a reputation as being "arrogant" and "pretentious." Part of me knows that I should be more patient with them, but it just keeps getting harder and harder.

Needless to say, my family was not exactly supportive of me "wasting" 6 - 7 years of my life getting a PhD in something as "useless" and "uninteresting" as Chinese history. They would prefer that I stay near them, get a teaching certificate, get married to some insurance worker, have a couple of babies, and come home every weekend for family dinner to discuss the new High School Musical DVD. In some ways, this has been a blessing, as it's encouraged me to work that much harder to ensure that I will absolutely NOT have to lead that life. At other times, I just find myself dreaming of what it would be like to live in a family where more than one person knows that Hobbes is not just a cartoon stuffed tiger . . .

Living in academia, it can sometimes be easy to forget that academics can form a distinct culture, a distinct society unto themselves. For me, this basic reality really hit home when I invited my parents to a department gathering at my undergrad college for faculty, students, and family members. In spite of my efforts to explain things to them in language they could understand and include them in my discussions with my professors, they spent the entire time standing in the corner looking bored out of their minds. Afterwards, they told me in a shocked tone:

"Wow! It seems like your professors REALLY like you! They were all saying such nice things about you, and it seemed like they actually meant it! If only WE could see those qualities in you . . ." I guess I can't really blame them for their reaction. For them, it was a completely foreign culture. How could they possibly understand it? Still, it hurts to know that the people who SHOULD know you best can never know you at all.

Needless to say, I'm very much looking forward to returning to the society and culture where I belong! Yay academia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So for all of you who come from families with a connection to academia, you don't know how lucky you are that your families can at least recognize the good qualities in you that you yourself take pride in. And for all of you who are first generation BAs going on to PhDs, you are absolutely amazing! Your stories were really inspiring! Keep up the great work!

[ilovedogs]

I definitely relate to this thread also, you should have seen me trying to explain what Biostatistics is to my family and co-workers. I'm not going for a PHD but I am the first female in my extended family to go to college, period. My Dad got a bachelor's degree on the GI Bill after serving in the Korean War but he was the only one to go to college before me.

If you want another good book to read on this subject I very highly recommend "Limbo: Blue Collar Roots, White Collar Dreams" by Alfred Lubrano. It is amazing.

http://www.amazon.co...78968883&sr=1-1

[coyabean]

Great post.

While it is geared towards "students of color" the Grad Skool Rulz #20 has some transferable points, I think. Being 1st gen college can be a lot like being a minority in academia: isolating, challenging to one's identity, etc.

I did a research program where all of us were 1st generation. We discussed this a great deal. Some of the most common issues were relating how you've changed to family and friends. It can be easy to forget when you're immersed in places like this forum but there are very few PhDs, relatively speaking, in the population. It's, by design and nature, a rare thing to do. When you are 1st generation college or graduate school I think that becomes even more true; you are, to many, a different species.

My father still doesn't get it. He wanted me to go to law school. Everybody knows what a lawyer (kinda) does, professors not so much. So, he still thinks of it as "becoming a teacher." Which is fine. My mother does have a college degree and is a very worldly woman but it is still a stretch sometimes for her. However, she's been more comfortable asking questions and reading about what I'm doing. For instance, the concept of research was kind of getting lost in translation. Then she saw me present at a conference and she "got it." Now, she's always sending me emails "for [my] research."

Friends are less open to asking or finding out. I just say "grad school" and keep it moving.

That means that there aren't a lot of people for you to commiserate with until you develop an "academia family," as I think of mine. These are mentors, classmates, etc. who understand what I'm going through. One such mentor/friend who has completed her PhD told me once not to expect one person to be everything to you. She meant get different kinds of mentoring from different kinds of mentors, ex. the academic superstar with intimate knowledge of publishing politics to the younger scholar who remembers what starting out is like and is amicable to tea and hugs.

I think the same holds true for your family and friends. Discover who can go how far with your new life and respect the knowledge gap. I never forget that there's plenty of things that they know that I don't and I'd hope they'd respect my gap!

Something else mentioned upstream is interesting, too. The idea of the all the secret knowledge in academia. You miss out tutorials about that if you don't have any peers or family with comparable experience. During that research program I kept asking people, "is this in a book somewhere?!" Invariably the answer is no (although Harvard publishes an interesting guide...for their students only:/). It lends to the marginalization along lines of class, race, gender, etc. with which academia is often charged. Things like which is the privileged journal in which to publish, how to negotiate for a spouse's job during interviews, how to date/partner/marry within your academic circle, academic incest, etc. It's a secret code of behavior that we have to be very vigilant about cracking.

Like someone else I drop the ego and ASK! I'm legendary among mentors and senior scholars for asking, "how do you spell that?!" It's my way of slowing down all the theorist name-dropping and acronym slinging. When someone kept saying, "her CV has holes" I made them explain what that means, for example.

I think we just have to not let any inferiority complexes or impostor syndromes prevent us from getting what we came for.

[TheDude]

I can relate to this as I am a first generation grad and will be the first person in the history of my family to ever pursue a Ph.D. My mother has traced our respective families back to the early 1800's.

I embrace my blue collar roots. I am unanbashingly a small town guy. I cuss like a pirate, drink beer and spit sunflower seeds with my best friends. I watch sports with my father religiously. I also can sit in academic meetings and "turn it on"- well, almost. I still can't bring myself to pronounce words with silent a silent "W" and keep a straight face. I can go to conferences and ask the right questions...I understand the etiquette.

My blue collar family keeps me connected to who I really am and what I came from. I respect the fact that since I was 12 I had to work very trying manual labor jobs. I never have been sailing in the summer or on extended vacations because most of my vacation time was spent covered in tar and dirt. I think having not come from a 'proper' white collar background has shaped my work ethic and how I go about pursuing what I want. This experience has shaped the nature of the research I do. I want my publications to matter for something even if findings aren't revolutionary. I want to do work that matters in people lives because I've never really jived with the notion of doing research for the sake of research. It may sound funny but I want the same experience for my kids.

Maybe I'm weird. I just like teaching because it is the most noble of professions when done properly and I like doing research to help diagnosis issues and fix them. The salary, despite how much of a pittance many claim it is, is just a bonus to me. So in a way I never had whimsical notions about what 'white collar life' would be like...or life as an academic. I read the academic texts in between putting in septic systems because I liked to read those books and could find ways in which I'd use various theories to think about things not because kids at Harvard were reading the same thing.

Sure I have a hard time talking to my parents and friends about some things. However, I came from them and they shaped the experiences that helped shape who I am today. No matter what I think about who I am as a person today and who I want to be- they have been the biggest part of it. I won't ever look down on them because they can't spit theoretical constructs back at me. I don't even feel the urge to bring it up. I talk about fashion and the Hills and reality TV, and rightly urge my opposition to various things, with my sister because it makes her feel good, it makes her feel loved and respected. So what if it doesn't stimulate my mind like other things I might want to be doing? I field phone calls about sports from my dad when I should be writing or reading the latest journal because it makes him feel good that I am there. I talk to my mother about everything and we both respect the fact we have different views.

I just don't feel pressure to fit in with academics if I don't. Sure, I respect everyone of them who makes valuable contributions, I realize the magnitude and importance of their work. We just have different life experiences and that is cool, most are smart enough to realize that.

I respect anyone who differs in opinion.

Edited July 16, 2010 by musicforfun

[TheDude]

This has been bugging me.

This issue of condescension has to be a humanities thing? Most everyone that I have met in my field thus far have been superb people.

[VictorianTess]

This has been bugging me.

This issue of condescension has to be a humanities thing? Most everyone that I have met in my field thus far have been superb people.

That may be the case, but I think it also depends on your university. I went to a private (thought not prestigious) university for my undergrad. Within my major (English) I didn't feel out of place, coming from a blue collar family, but I did feel that I was unusual in my honors program there. I was very aware of the fact that few other people came from blue collar families, and, at the time, I felt somewhat envious and somewhat embarrassed (although I'm ashamed to admit that now). When I did my MA, I did not have that feeling at all. It was a school that had a large percentage of transfers from community colleges. Based on the people I've talked to so far, I don't expect this feeling at my new university. I've only talked to a couple other people so far, but they are also from blue collar families and/or the first to go to college. I think this is likely, because it is well-known but not the most prestigious school for the humanities. It may be different if I were at Stanford or an Ivy League school.