Life/work balance balance in grad school?

[LadyL]

Everyone I talk to describes how grad school is going to own my life. On the one hand, I believe it, but on the other I am notorious for juggling a million things at once and *still* getting bored, so I guess I just want reassurance from other multitaskers that I really have nothing to worry about.

Right now, working 40 hours a week in the lab, producing charity benefit shows (10-20 hours a week), working a second job here and there (5-10 hours a week), playing in a soccer league plus gym workouts, and going out 1-3 times a week feels leisurely to me. Granted, a lot of jobs #2 and #3 get done during downtime at job #1, which is a big part of how I make it all work.

I am moving back to the area where I grew up, and am left with a few decisions: do I completely stop producing events so I can focus on my studies? The answer to this seems to be yes, because it takes months to do the on-the-ground research to run events in a new area anyhow, so at a minimum I should take a break to do that. The other question is that job #3 is working for a friends' art business, and I could easily start my own similar business when I move. But promoting that business is where the real time commitment is, and I am not sure if the time investment is going to pay off in revenue soon enough to make it worth my while.

The other thing is that my work style kind of depends on multitasking - I bounce between tedious work stuff and more engaging creative stuff to keep myself sane and am not sure what I'll do without the creative outlet for balance. I am also the type who does a little work on a project here and there, and then once I am motivated to finish it I'll get the last 60% of it done in lightening speed without sacrificing quality, which allows me to get away with being lazy most of the time. I am guessing that I will not be the only grad student with weird, specialized skills like being able to read 400 pages a day or learn a new analysis method in like 15 minutes and implement it. Being exceptional is what gets us into grad school, right?

I guess my point is that when held to the same standards as everyone else, academically or research wise, I usually find a ton of leeway to slack off because I am a fast learner and worker when I need to be. I am wondering if this will no longer apply in grad school, because they will expect me to actually work to my potential, and they will have more informed expectations of what that potential is. One of my other overachiever grad student friends said that she always feels like she's a big lazy slacker, but her advisers are always happy with her progress, so I guess I am somewhat afraid that I'll fall into the same trap. I don't want to waste time that I could be spending launching my academic career, but I also want to have a life and not buried in books 24/7.

I am used to underselling myself slightly in order to manage expectations, and then doing more than promised, which makes people *think* I'm a hero overachiever - is this a bad strategy for grad school?

Edited April 20, 2010 by LadyL

[socialpsych]

There are a lot of questions in this post.

Everyone I talk to describes how grad school is going to own my life.

Based on your post, I think it won't and it shouldn't. You will be in grad school for 5+ years. You need to find a balance that is sustainable for you. Almost every grad student I know has some kind of hobby or relationship that they devote a lot of time to -- whether it's sports (as for most of us), gardening, traveling, dating....it's helpful, even necessary, to worry about something else for at least a few hours a week.

It's true that grad school is different from undergrad in that it calls for a different kind of identification with your work. There are few external deadlines or standards for you to meet and then say "Whew, I'm done." It's just a matter of how hard you feel like pushing yourself. Some faculty advisors will complain if you are not being productive enough to meet their standards, but many won't. It's up to YOU, and that certainly takes a different kind of momentum.

However, I absolutely don't believe it means that it is impossible to spend a lot of time on things other than school, or to find whatever kind of balance you need.

do I completely stop producing events so I can focus on my studies? The answer to this seems to be yes, because it takes months to do the on-the-ground research to run events in a new area anyhow, so at a minimum I should take a break to do that. The other question is that job #3 is working for a friends' art business, and I could easily start my own similar business when I move. But promoting that business is where the real time commitment is, and I am not sure if the time investment is going to pay off in revenue soon enough to make it worth my while.

I think it would be wise to put these things on hold for the beginning of your first year. It may take some time for you to find an equilibrium work pace that you are comfortable with, and you might not want to have such serious demands as your own business distracting you from that process. However, once you do find that rhythm, you will know whether there is space in your life for those other things -- and there may well be space.

I guess my point is that when held to the same standards as everyone else, academically or research wise, I usually find a ton of leeway to slack off because I am a fast learner and worker when I need to be. I am wondering if this will no longer apply in grad school, because they will expect me to actually work to my potential, and they will have more informed expectations of what that potential is. One of my other overachiever grad student friends said that she always feels like she's a big lazy slacker, but her advisers are always happy with her progress, so I guess I am somewhat afraid that I'll fall into the same trap. I don't want to waste time that I could be spending launching my academic career, but I also want to have a life and not buried in books 24/7.

I am used to underselling myself slightly in order to manage expectations, and then doing more than promised, which makes people *think* I'm a hero overachiever - is this a bad strategy for grad school?

First of all, your friend may not actually be a big lazy slacker even if she feels like one. I think it's common for people to feel like they aren't doing enough in grad school programs that are focused on research from the beginning (as psych is).

Second, yes, I do think it would be a bad strategy to undersell yourself in order to manage expectations, at least assuming you are aiming to get a good academic research job later on. The way I see it, it is a huge blessing to have 5 years to develop myself as a scholar before I have to face the job market and call myself a fully independent researcher. Time is really precious, since the job search and eventually the tenure review will come whether I like it or not. The reason I get to spend these 5 years as an apprentice is that people trust me to use the time well to develop myself. That said, if I need to spend 20 hours a week on a hobby in order to keep myself sane and focused, then that's what I'll do. But I know that if I truly underperform, the only person I'm hurting is myself.

My advisors are there to put some limits on my working style, because they know what being a professor is like and are therefore in a good position to tell me if my productivity level is really likely to hurt me later on. I don't want them to lower their standards, because if the kind of work I'm doing is raising a red flag, I want to know about that. Sure, if I keep expectations low and then exceed them, I might get some good letters of reference from my graduate advisors, but no one else in the profession will have those expectations. The people whose expectations I could manage now are not the people whose judgment ultimately matters to me. Getting a job in my field is hard enough that I need to impress the larger community, so just making my advisors happy won't really get me anywhere.

In short, I think it depends on your goals. Think about what it would mean to go through your program slacking off just enough to make your advisors happy. What kind of CV do you think you would have, and what kind of job would you be likely to get? Are you happy with that? If not, then you already know what you should do. If so, then go ahead...but know that your strategy will be at odds with the dominant culture of a PhD program, where students really tend to be motivated to push themselves.

[LadyL]

My advisors are there to put some limits on my working style, because they know what being a professor is like and are therefore in a good position to tell me if my productivity level is really likely to hurt me later on. I don't want them to lower their standards, because if the kind of work I'm doing is raising a red flag, I want to know about that.

Getting a job in my field is hard enough that I need to impress the larger community, so just making my advisors happy won't really get me anywhere.

I guess I've gotten some mixed messages so far, because I have done well enough to impress both the recommenders whose expectations I've been managing, AND graduate admissions committees. But out of principle I want to be accountable to myself and not slack off, even if my definition of slacking off is different than most.

I guess I'm afraid that I will be lulled into the trap of exceeding *other people's* expectations rather than my own. I pretty much rise to whatever level I'm challenged to. For example, I've gotten As in advanced classes where I never read a single page of one of the main texts of the course, and I've gotten As that were the result of studying 20+ hours a week.

I am thinking of perhaps having a frank discussion with my adviser about the need to set the bar high and holding me accountable to those standards. I think that if there is a weekly expectation that I get X amount of work done, I will do it. But when it's vague stuff like "familiarize yourself with X topic" I know I'll just slack all week and then read a bajillion pages the day I have a meeting or whatever. So perhaps I will need to first be self motivated to communicate my needs.

[fuzzylogician]

To add to what socialpsych wrote, it's probably a good idea to cut back on the extracurricular activities and extra jobs before you start the first year of grad school. Sometimes it's a big adjustment (and sometimes not so much, as I'd suspect will true in your case after reading your post). Have as much free time as you need to get on top of your coursework and research, and start adding back the extra activities after the first semester, or even the first year, is over. That way you'll know what the requirements on your time are going to be and how much you can invest in other things. For your well-being, however, I would suggest keeping at least one of your hobbies or extracurricular activities. It's vitally important to have something going on in one's life besides research.

[Squawker]

Starting a business at the same time as starting grad school sounds quite dangerous to me, because of the financial risk involved. I think those who have already responded have given good advice. As far as the expected level of difficulty is concerned, I don't know if you'll be able to get a sound answer unless you speak to someone who is currently attending the program you will be attending. Not only are all programs likely to be a bit different, but lots of people who are used to getting similar grades may dedicate very different amounts of time to work. I was told by a friend who went to law school that the whole "law school is so much work" thing was a big lie. Yeah, it was quite a bit of work, but anyone who worked hard in college and didn't get too used to partying all the time would be able to handle it. I know some students who think that spending 8 hours a day on coursework/classes is ridiculous, even though they cite college as a full-time occupation. To me, that's a very reasonable workday. So it all depends on how people work. I know that in the years to come I'll be working my ass off through every waking hour, crying from the stress, and that someone in the same program as me will somehow waltz through it casually, while maintaining a million other hobbies. So it goes! Just be sure to make your degree (i.e. your full time occupation!) your main priority.

[rising_star]

I would hold off on working extra jobs until at least after your first semester. I worked a second job of 8-18 hours per week during the second year of MA and it was manageable in large part because it was a desk job with downtime that I could use to get caught up on schoolwork. Something similar may be easier than trying to do something like event organizing and planning.

From one slacker to another, I just want to say that slacking off in graduate school does have its repercussions. I've chosen to slack off when it comes to coursework, in favor of writing applications to fund my summer research, watching reality TV, and hanging out with people. And, though I've gotten those grants and am making adequate progress in the program, there are some that question my commitment... So, be careful of that.