Critique my letter?

[LaurelRogers]

IDK if this is allowed but...

 Would anyone be willing to genuinely critique my letter of intent? I have about a week before I need to send it to the people writing me letters.

It's mostly done but its not great.

It covers all the basis IMO but has no passion because I've been so worried about it coming off as cliche. I've done impressive stuff and I LOVE the field but Idk how to write it to show that beyond just stating facts.

I want so badly to get into graduate school for spring but this letter may not do it ?

 

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n2UO3RWUrSVYLhfn28aJAqsOFFiuJZsuayHdYYadPsw/edit?usp=sharing

[Malithi]

Hi Laurel,

Your experiences are super impressive and speak for themselves. I thought it was well written and I think you have definitely earned a seat in any grad program with all you have already done in the field. Keep in mind though that I am only a prospective applicant and have no experience to judge letters of intent by. Best of luck to you!