Told the world I was going one place. Then I got another offer.

[nc2nyc]

When I got the acceptance to UNC for a PhD program, I was over the moon. UNC checked off so many of my boxes, and being someone who has no work experience, I knew how much of a long shot it was to get in anywhere.

I also had applied to Stanford, as well as Knight-Hennessey Scholars (KHS), a prestigious graduate fellowship that is highly selective. I submitted essentially the same information/story as I did to my doctoral program. In early February, I was informed that I was not selected into KHS. I was okay, as I knew it was a long shot. In turn, I assumed that meant I had not been admitted to Stanford.

A few weeks later, I posted on my social media that I would be attending UNC. I also shared some of my personal tribulations that I had never talked about publicly. In doing so, my posts went viral, with over 5,000 shares. I have received interview requests, requests to be on the news, and invitations to speak publicly. All on top of hundreds of personal messages commending me for my perseverance. I am not taking any of this well. I know it was my decision to share my experiences, but I never imagined it would blow up the way it did.

And then I get a call from my POI at Stanford saying that I was admitted.

I have no clue what to do or what to think. My post keeps getting shared more and more, and I feel like the decision to choose Stanford when its been so widely shared that I'm heading to UNC feels like I'm not keeping my word, or that I run when I see a better opportunity. How do I make this feel like it's my decision? And not the internet's? 

[Nothalfgood]

I hope you don't mind my saying that this sounds like a situation only sit-com characters find themselves in. The dramatic irony is pretty rich, and I can only imagine that you are terribly frustrated by it. Please don't let me upset you if I sound flippant because I just want to give you a distant stranger's opinion.

This might sound harsh, but I would bet that no one who has shared your post and listened to your story besides personal acquaintances have any real stake in your outcome. I believe you have an impressive story that affected them all, but I wouldn't expect anyone to check back in and make sure that the story remains consistent with reality.

Tell your friends and family how a funny thing happened and now you have an even better opportunity. Share it publicly if you like, but don't expect it to go viral. The internet got their underdog story and will be just fine whether or not you want to go to Stanford.

[Sigaba]

3 hours ago, nc2nyc said:

I have no clue what to do or what to think. My post keeps getting shared more and more, and I feel like the decision to choose Stanford when its been so widely shared that I'm heading to UNC feels like I'm not keeping my word, or that I run when I see a better opportunity. How do I make this feel like it's my decision? And not the internet's? 

As long as you've not signed any paperwork, there's no ethical conflict if you decide to go to Stanford.

Anyone who would throw shade at a person picking the best option available for you isn't your friend or someone who deserves to be.

Insofar as how to tell the story of your change of fortune on social media, you can either delete the OP or add a post "a funny thing happened on the way to Chapel Hill." IMO, the key to the latter option is to make it clear that it's not that UNC was your second or third choice (which would simply be a crass thing to say) but rather that Stanford is an opportunity of a lifetime that you must seize.

But before you make any decisions, do what you can to understand which place is really the best for you.

[AnxiousBeaver]

I am in the exact same boat. Thought I was going to one school that is prestigious for my field but not as prestigious as Stanford.... I am leaning towards Stanford but I also feel bad for abandoning the other school that I got into  

[feralgrad]

15 hours ago, AnxiousBeaver said:

I am in the exact same boat. Thought I was going to one school that is prestigious for my field but not as prestigious as Stanford.... I am leaning towards Stanford but I also feel bad for abandoning the other school that I got into  

I understand your feelings, but I don't think you're abandoning anything. All of these programs have a waitlist; think of how happy the applicant who gets your spot will be!