Thinking about dropping out

[WornOutGrad]

I wrote recently about wondering how I was going to survive Grad School, but I've started to wonder if I even want to.

I just took (and bombed) my last final, and I feel more burnt out than in any of my semesters in college. Usually, I'd run around the hallway and yell "freedom!" after my last final, but all I did was go to my room and cry for a few hours.

I think I have enjoyed the subject matter, but I can't stand the academics! Academics seem so pompous, and the whole industry seems more cutthroat than the "real world." I love Meteorology, and I want to learn Meteorology, but not this way, and not like this! I've only been here for 4 months, and I'm already burnt out, how I am going to last another 2-3 years!?!? I seriously have never been this miserable in my life. I wish I had just gotten my Bachelor's in this, and left with that.

What scares me though is that if I can't make it through this, how am I going to survive in the real world.

I just want to be done with this. I miss my friends, my family, my girlfriend, my church, and this isn't worth giving up all of that.

I guess I don't have a question, just a lot on my mind.

[yoshimoshi]

I wrote recently about wondering how I was going to survive Grad School, but I've started to wonder if I even want to.

I just took (and bombed) my last final, and I feel more burnt out than in any of my semesters in college. Usually, I'd run around the hallway and yell "freedom!" after my last final, but all I did was go to my room and cry for a few hours.

I think I have enjoyed the subject matter, but I can't stand the academics! Academics seem so pompous, and the whole industry seems more cutthroat than the "real world." I love Meteorology, and I want to learn Meteorology, but not this way, and not like this! I've only been here for 4 months, and I'm already burnt out, how I am going to last another 2-3 years!?!? I seriously have never been this miserable in my life. I wish I had just gotten my Bachelor's in this, and left with that.

What scares me though is that if I can't make it through this, how am I going to survive in the real world.

I just want to be done with this. I miss my friends, my family, my girlfriend, my church, and this isn't worth giving up all of that.

I guess I don't have a question, just a lot on my mind.

Don't give up! Not yet.

[Nessie]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Hopefully you'll find some words of comfort on these forums to lift your spirits a little. My advice (as a complete non-expert in grad studies) is that you should try and keep going until the end of the (academic) year. From my experience, the first year of something new is always the hardest. When I first moved away for undergrad I was very homesick, I hated being confused all the time by my subjects and I missed having a solid support system close by to fall back on. However, I stuck with it and by second year I had learned to cope with (and start to enjoy!) my classes, I'd gotten used to living away from home (although I'm sure you have before so maybe this isn't relevant) and I think most importantly, I'd made some fantastic friends whom I'm now closer to than anyone! I realise grad studies must be somewhat different, but I think a lot of the processes you have to go through with starting something new are the same. So my advice would be to at least try and get to the end of your first year. If you are still having a miserable time, maybe it's time to consider other options, but you might just find that you have started to cope better and perhaps even enjoy it! I hear you about pompous academics, but to be honest I meet a lot of business people (I work part time in a hotel) and I can assure you that academia isn't the only area of life where people are pompous! However, I'm sure if you dig deep enough you will find some lovely academics that just see themselves as regular people like you or I. I don't know how your social situation is, but if you haven't met that many new people I'd suggest joining a couple of clubs or something (with minimal commitments obviously) to meet people. If you have found lots of lovely people, try and spend some more time just chillaxing and doing something fun. The importance of a healthy social life is, I think, sometimes underrated on these boards, but in my opinion is essential to a happy, balanced grad school life! Anyway, that's just my opinion, feel free to ignore me! I hope things start to look up for you soon!

Edited December 17, 2010 by Nessie

[kaykaykay]

Find the school psychologist. Most grad students end up there sooner or later, this is a stressful business. S/he will be able to advise you better. And have some rest over the holidays.

[WornOutGrad]

Find the school psychologist. Most grad students end up there sooner or later, this is a stressful business. S/he will be able to advise you better. And have some rest over the holidays.

I'm actually doing my researching part time over the winter break, so I plan on taking it somewhat easy. I'll probably take the week between Christmas and New Years off entirely to be with family.

I know it might not be the most professional move, but I think a little down time should really help me put some of this in perspective. Plus, I'll get to see my girlfriend

[kaykaykay]

good good. I still recommend the psychologist. they have seen a lot (of grad students ) and can put your struggles in perspective. (it is probably not very unusual)

[Sparky]

I'm actually doing my researching part time over the winter break, so I plan on taking it somewhat easy. I'll probably take the week between Christmas and New Years off entirely to be with family.

I know it might not be the most professional move, but I think a little down time should really help me put some of this in perspective. Plus, I'll get to see my girlfriend

Wait. Going to visit one's parents for Christmas is unprofessional?

I mean, agood chunk of people here didn't go home for Thanksgiving, mostly people who would have to fly or who have spouses & even kids in town, but I think just about everyone leaves for a least *some* of winter break...

[breakfast]

That is very strange. There are quite a few people in my program who are spending the entire break back home with family, and nobody has suggested that doing your own things on your own time is "unprofessional". In fact, most people think it's pretty strange that I'm not going back to see family over the break.

Maybe you're so stressed because you're making grad school a bigger deal than it actually is? I can't imagine your mentality during the semester if you think seeing family during the break is unprofessional.

Edited December 17, 2010 by breakfast

[WornOutGrad]

That is very strange. There are quite a few people in my program who are spending the entire break back home with family, and nobody has suggested that doing your own things on your own time is "unprofessional". In fact, most people think it's pretty strange that I'm not going back to see family over the break.

Maybe you're so stressed because you're making grad school a bigger deal than it actually is? I can't imagine your mentality during the semester if you think seeing family during the break is unprofessional.

What I meant to say above is that I'm going to research only part time from HOME, so I'll be down there the whole break, save for a week at Grandma's house in Texas

I was seeing a psychologist, but they only limit you to so many meetings a semester, and I used my last one about a month ago. I'm thinking of looking for a strong, faith-based (I'm a Christian and faith is very important) therapist when I get back next month.

I do believe that my mentality is screwed up. I think some times the only things I have the right to do in Grad school (other than work of course) are eat, sleep, and poop, and only if absolutely necessary. And it's really funny, because my department is vary laid back. I think I'm the only one who is afraid of getting kicked out for taking a break.

[anthropologygeek]

First semester is the worst. I felt like dropping out every other week. But after that it gets easier.also if you on ta and not ra your be fine taking the break off.

[Sparky]

What I meant to say above is that I'm going to research only part time from HOME, so I'll be down there the whole break, save for a week at Grandma's house in Texas

I think it's just as much the "research part time over break" as the "visiting Mom and Pops" (or for all I know, Pops and Pops) part that we're reacting to. Break is for...breaking. Revitalize yourself!

Edited December 19, 2010 by Sparky

[suspechosa]

Dude, I feel you.

But I have to disagree with everyone else and say LEAVE.

Grad school is hard, stressful, lonely, and often times unrewarding. If you want to go, then go. It isn't as big of a deal and decision as people make it out to be.

I agree academics are particularly snobbish and it's ridiculous and annoying.

You said you're worried if you can't do grad school then you're not going to be able to survive the "real world". You also said academics seem more cut-throat than the "real world", so what's there to worry about? You'll be fine. Additionally, is this worth being being more miserable than you've ever been in your life? Probably not.

Keep up with the subject you love, do volunteer projects relating to it, but you do not have to devote your life to studying and researching it until you want to pull your hair out. Life is short; go be with your church, community, girlfriend, be happy and get on with your life.

Best of luck!

[RNadine21]

I was seeing a psychologist, but they only limit you to so many meetings a semester, and I used my last one about a month ago. I'm thinking of looking for a strong, faith-based (I'm a Christian and faith is very important) therapist when I get back next month.

Have you not been able to find a church to attend? You might be able to talk to a minister/reverend about your stress, and you can attend church activities as an escape. Many of my friends in my program attend services regularly, and it's become an enjoyable part of their week....heck, I've been considering going back to church.

[JamesSawyerFord]

Hey man i hope your doing better now... But I gotta say this...I'm joining up for my Master's this fall and you've provided some food for thought...By putting this up you've helped me...So I would like to express my gratitude...Thanks!!!

[abacus123]

Dude, I feel you.

But I have to disagree with everyone else and say LEAVE.

Grad school is hard, stressful, lonely, and often times unrewarding. If you want to go, then go. It isn't as big of a deal and decision as people make it out to be.

I agree academics are particularly snobbish and it's ridiculous and annoying.

You said you're worried if you can't do grad school then you're not going to be able to survive the "real world". You also said academics seem more cut-throat than the "real world", so what's there to worry about? You'll be fine. Additionally, is this worth being being more miserable than you've ever been in your life? Probably not.

Keep up with the subject you love, do volunteer projects relating to it, but you do not have to devote your life to studying and researching it until you want to pull your hair out. Life is short; go be with your church, community, girlfriend, be happy and get on with your life.

Best of luck!

Speaking as someone in the same general field as the OP, a lot of folks go to grad school because it's more difficult to cut it in the field of meteorology with only a bachelor's degree. So, while the OP should take a break if he feels he needs it, I can sympathize with being torn about the decision.

When things get stressful, I like to remind myself that there are options. Grad school, especially in meteorology, can be hectic and frustrating. If it really drove me to the point where I was at great risk of harming myself or I was in mental shambles, I'd be okay with stepping back and saying "this isn't working out right now". Look at it like this: you still have a college degree in a "hard" science (I assume you probably had a good GPA since you're in grad school), so it's not like you'll find yourself flipping burgers. A good friend of mine (he also studied meteorology) found himself in the "I need a break" predicament and he did step away from his program. Now he's working in the admissions office for the business school of a nearby university. For him, it's just a year of work until he can get back on his feet mentally, and then thoughtfully consider whether or not he wants to go back to grad school, or look at other career options. The caveat to his decision is that if he tries to get back into meteorology, grad schools (either his own program or others he may consider down the line) would be more weary of him. His career plans took an unexpected offramp from the interstate highway of life, but he felt he needed to reassess his goals and rebuild his well-being. As for myself, I stick with the workload because I keep my fingers crossed that things will get better, as well as do what I can to make my situation better. In my circumstance, that's worked out well for me. While I encourage you to try your best and stick with your program, if you're down and nearly out, sometimes you need a mental timeout.

Oh, and a big reason I enjoy TAing undergrad meteorology courses: It reminds me that when it comes to degrees, I have a one-up on my students because I already have my bachelor's, plus some grad school under my belt. A little snobby perhaps, but it makes me feel better and helps put things into perspective when I'm stressed out.

[hubris]

What scares me though is that if I can't make it through this, how am I going to survive in the real world.

Assuming you mean industry, you have nothing to worry about.

[chaospaladin]

I wrote recently about wondering how I was going to survive Grad School, but I've started to wonder if I even want to.

I just took (and bombed) my last final, and I feel more burnt out than in any of my semesters in college. Usually, I'd run around the hallway and yell "freedom!" after my last final, but all I did was go to my room and cry for a few hours.

I think I have enjoyed the subject matter, but I can't stand the academics! Academics seem so pompous, and the whole industry seems more cutthroat than the "real world." I love Meteorology, and I want to learn Meteorology, but not this way, and not like this! I've only been here for 4 months, and I'm already burnt out, how I am going to last another 2-3 years!?!? I seriously have never been this miserable in my life. I wish I had just gotten my Bachelor's in this, and left with that.

What scares me though is that if I can't make it through this, how am I going to survive in the real world.

I just want to be done with this. I miss my friends, my family, my girlfriend, my church, and this isn't worth giving up all of that.

I guess I don't have a question, just a lot on my mind.

Are you in a Master's program or a PhD program? If you are in a PhD program and it is funded, there isn't any negative effects of dropping out since you are not wasting any money. Roughly 50% of students who enter a PhD program never finish the PhD program. One reason is because they found something better to do. If you feel like dropping out of your PhD program and you found something else better to do, then there isn't really any shame in leaving the program.