When to announce I'm leaving?

[snarky]

OK, so I know this is a forum for people who are trying to get through a PhD. I, on the other hand, am trying to get the heck out, and I'm wondering how to handle it tactfully. I don't love what I study anymore, and sometimes I downright hate it, which makes it hard to work on for 60+ hours a week. The sacrifices I would have to make to be a researcher in my field (lack of jobs, poor salary, long hours) outweigh the things I like about the subject, so I am about 80-85% sure I will drop out at the end of this semester when I get my MA and move on to something that is at least more lucrative.

My question is, is there some kind of etiquette about dropping out? Should I tell my advisor I'm thinking about it? She pushes me really hard, but also works hard herself to help me meet her (very high) expectations. If I told her earlier it might (1) make her worry less about me and feel less pressured to spend time reviewing all my stuff, meeting with me, etc., and (2) make my life a little bit more bearable this last semester. On the other hand, everyone else who's left the program has only notified the dept after the semester was over that they were not coming back. I don't know if this is just to save face, or what. Also, does this burn bridges with the department, considering they supported me for 2 yrs? Is there a way of breaking the news without offending?

I know it's not an ideal situation, but I figure my mental health, marriage, etc need to come first. I just would like to exit gracefully, if there is any way to do that... :-/

Edited January 31, 2011 by snarky

[LJK]

It sounds like you have a good working relationship with your advisor. It also sounds like you have made up your mind and are leaving for the right reasons. I would approach her now and explain that you have decided to take the MA and not to come back. You can frame it in terms of the current application season and wanting to let her know at a time when your funding line could be used for a new student in next year's cohort. I think the most tactful way to leave a phd program is to be conscious of how your leaving will affect them and to make the change as minimally disruptive as possible. I don't think anyone can really fault you for staying healthy and choosing to have a different set of priorities than you expected to have initially, but I think waiting to the end of the semester and letting a funded position go to waste or be filled with a lesser candidate because you sat on your decision could burn bridges.

[Eigen]

I guess it depends on the department.

In our department, you have to have approval of your PI and write a thesis to get a MS... So you need to tell your PI early enough to write up.

We had one girl who waited until the semester she wanted to graduate (close to the end), and her PI told her she'd need at least another year before he'd consider her to have earned a masters.

So if your program has any ambiguity, talk it out early to make sure you get out when you want to get out.

If you automatically get a stand-alone MS at the end of this semester, then it's a more personal decision- I'd still tell your PI early, because I think it's the best way to maintain a good relationship in the future... If you wait too late, you don't give her a chance to prepare for you leaving, so to speak.

Granted, this is all written with an STEM slant, so I'm not sure about the humanities.

[E.C.D.]

I would wait until I had a job lined up - what are you going to do if you don't have something to fall back on? Have you really thought out what options you have if you leave?

[Medievalmaniac]

I would wait until I had a job lined up - what are you going to do if you don't have something to fall back on? Have you really thought out what options you have if you leave?

definitely, make sure you have met or can meet the requirements for the MA, including comps and/or thesis, before you mke a final decision. And also, you should definitely speak with your advisor about your concerns. S/he has a stake in what happens to you, and (technically) should want the best for you. You can gauge from his/her reaction whether or not s/he saw this coming, or it is a big surprise. It might turn out that s/he has just been waiting for you to decide when to leave, if you have been dissatisfied and/or unhappy/struggling for a while.