Therapy and Grad School

[WornOutGrad]

I'm currently a Masters student studying Meteorology. Since I moved out here, I've been diagnosed with Depression (on top of previously diagnosed Anxiety), and prescribed Antidepressants. I also see a therapist every other week. I feel like both things have been great for me, but I somewhat feel bad that it takes me away from the office a few hours. I just wonder if any of you have ever had issues with Depression or Anxiety or Therapy in Grad School, and should it be something that I should be open with my Adviser about? (i.e. if she wonders why she never see's me at a particular time, should I mention it's because I am at therapy?)

[poco_puffs]

It might depend on your relationship with your advisor whether or not you want to divulge that kind of personal information. I think an appropriate way to phrase it would be something along the lines of "I'm sorry that I'm typically not available at X time on Y afternoons; I have a standing appointment at that time every week." You could say that it was for medical reasons, you could go even more specific about the depression, or you could just let them assume that you have some sort of yoga class or physical therapy that you need to go to each week. Some people do advise you to keep those cards close to your chest, but that just depends on how you want to play it.

As for how common it is, I think there's probably a slight uptick in rates of depression and anxiety, if only for the fact that the stress can trigger those conditions in people who are prone to them in the first place. Congratulations on getting the treatment you need, and especially balancing medication with an ongoing dialogue of therapy. Taking care of yourself is always important, but I think we grad students can forget about that sometimes.

[HyacinthMacaw]

Glasstothearson, first off I just want to commend you for seeking treatment. Though I can understand why you might feel bad about leaving the office for a few hours each week, you are receiving vital medical treatment. If you were a professor, how would you feel if your student, diagnosed with depression and anxiety, felt bad about visiting his or her therapist? Wouldn't you do all you could to reassure them that they deserve treatment, that their lives are precious, too, and that just as the cancer patient receives regular chemotherapy, so must the person suffering from mental illness? If your advisor asks you about your absences, feel free to share only as much as you would like. I like poco_puffs' idea of referencing a "standing appointment."

I've struggled with severe recurring depression ever since I was 13. I resorted to self-harm behaviors and, at my most desperate point at which I lost all hope, I attempted suicide soon after I graduated from college, as a master's student. You are correct in your suspicion that many people experience depression and/or anxiety in grad school. Many more probably go untreated. So again I congratulate you on receiving a combination of medication and psychotherapy to accelerate your recovery. I hope that you have found your medication and biweekly therapy satisfactory. It can take a while for the effects of those treatments to kick in.

If you would like to explore additional therapy, I would recommend dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It emphasizes letting go of negative self-judgments and practicing self-compassion. Its four themes are mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation. It is empirically supported for the treatment of depression.

It's a grievous shame that most university health insurance plans only cover psychotherapy for up to 12 or so sessions per academic year, I think. That's how it worked at my undergrad. Please don't be afraid to seek additional treatment (in the form of group therapy, weekly or twice-weekly therapy instead of biweekly therapy, etc.) if you feel your current treatments are not making you feel better.

Feeling Good by David Burns has been recommended to me if you would like to explore bibliotherapy.

I wish you all the best as well as a speedy recovery. Navigating depression's fog can often seem like an endless voyage, as if lost at sea without a compass, or like trudging through waist-deep mud, but the best thing about this illness is that it is 100 percent treatable. In therapy, you can also learn ways to build resilience and cope with stress to ward off depression should it ever threaten to return (let's hope it doesn't).

Take care, and please be ask kind to yourself as you would like others to be.

[StrangeLight]

what you are going through is not at all uncommon.

for one thing, you should never feel badly about taking a few hours for yourself, whether it's for therapy or swimming or napping or seeing a movie. contrary to popular opinion, you don't need to spend every waking hour working or ready to work.

it's entirely up to you how much you tell your advisor. if s/he is specifically asking why you can't make a certain time for meetings or labs or whatever, then you know s/he has noticed. if s/he hasn't brought up your absences yet, then don't worry about it. there's no need to explain why you're unavailable at thursdays at 4 (or whatever).

[Just me]

Ohh I know how it feels to be anxious. The day I was to head out to the dorm, I was drinking heavily at 9 am to calm down. And I never ever drink at all. The following semester, I had a panic attack so bad that I could not breathe, see, or even bend my joints. I was stiff as a board and I felt like I was going to die. Meanwhile, my mother sat beside me in the car screaming at me that school is for my own good, I don't appreciate what she does for me and "why are you doing this to meeeeee?" and "You want me to have a stroke??!"

In short, not fun. I want to be medicated, but I know I'll just get told to suck it up. So I don't bother. When my classmates would go out after class, I would go back to my dorm room and cry myself to sleep. That's how I got through my days. That's the only way I know to relieve my stress because I have never had any other outlet. Even when I was younger, if I dared complain angrily about something my mother did, she would scream at me. Apparently since she has the hardest life in the world, I am not allowed to be upset for any reason at all. So it's sort of ingrained in my head that I can only relieve stress silently, and I can cry quietly.

Do what you have to to stay sane. Go for a walk, cry, smoke, drink....whatever. Just know you aren't alone in feeling stressed and depressed over school.

[far_to_go]

I have also struggled with anxiety and depression while in grad school. I've not mentioned to professors/advisors that I see a therapist weekly (and sometimes twice weekly); thus far, I haven't found it to be necessary. Some of my fellow students do know.

I second what others have said; taking time to take care of yourself should be a top priority. If you are too depressed or anxious to function, of course you aren't going to be able to perform in your classes, labs, etc. Seeing a therapist (along with exercise, eating well, sleep, etc) should help to prevent that from becoming the case. As the old adage goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." When I'm feeling guilty or bad about taking time for self-care, I try to remind myself of this. Sometimes it helps.

My best wishes to all who've posted here. Hang in there!

[ymsj]

Hi there,

As others have said, this is more common than we think. I am bipolar (and have other disorders I'd rather not name here) and have been hospitalized four times while in grad school. I am on medication as well. It has made being in school much harder, but it also makes my accomplishments that much more satisfying.

I agree that being open depends on your relationship with your advisor. But in my opinion, I think it is still relatively impersonal to say you have therapy meetings. I think we underestimate how many people deal with these problems. Chances are these professors have dealt with students or colleagues who have these issues before, or may even deal with it themselves. I would also hope that your relationship with your advisor is good enough so that revealing something like would help them better comprehend your holistic situation.

I wish you the best of luck! I know it's difficult, but you can do it!