Thanking Recommenders

[limeinthecoconut]

this is contingent on your not being a total spaz in the kitchen

Oh yeah, I think my recommenders knew that. Hence, they did not eye the purchased gifts with any suspicion!

[carroll11]

Thanks for all the ideas and the um, lively, debate over recommendations. I think I'll go with some great chocolate treats from a specialty store in my neighborhood, as I'm pretty close to these profs and I really would like to do something more than just a note for the assistant. Plus, who doesn't love chocolate?

Thanks again!

[40404]

I just gave them chocolates as xmas gifts too...

[belowthree]

I picked out a bottle of late harvest wine at Trader Joe's for each of the professors who wrote my letters. For the outside researcher I arraigned to have a fifth of bourbon placed on his desk.

I'm not sure I'd recommend this though, it's easy to go wrong. I don't think there's one good answer to what to get someone. The things I gave were pretty personal. The bourbon I gave was my favorite type, (though I actually rarely drink bourbon, but I though he'd appreciate it more than vodka, it was a hunch) the wine I gave was something I had recently taken to, etc... The only reason I was comfortable doing this is I had drank with three of the four of the people who wrote my recs and was pretty sure the fourth wasn't averse to the idea. I didn't know the three profs in a context where I felt comfortable giving them hard alcohol, but a late harvest wine seemed perfect.

Oh, and in an amusing LoR + drinking related story: My friends and I naturally screened the wine for quality before I gave it to my letter writers. Not carefully evaluating the wines would have simply been irresponsible.

So there's one excuse to drink during the application process. (You know, if you didn't already have reasons to drink...)

[mmblue88]

Can I say something like: "Thank you Dr...... for writing the recommendation for me. I appreciate all your help."

[DEClarke85]

Can I say something like: "Thank you Dr...... for writing the recommendation for me. I appreciate all your help."

I do not see why not. Short and simple is always appreciated. I honestly, think a face to face thank-you in these situations means more than a gift or card. An office visit in which you express your thanks can mean so much more than something written. (Although, that just may be the culture of my current program. We love office visits because our students do it so rarely.)

[Ripper]

I think a small thank you, either a handwritten card or letter, is appropriate, but I like the poster who suggested something they made, so as a homebrewer I think I'd like to give a 6 pack of something I've brewed. I know from personal experience that 2 out 3 are beer drinkers, so I think they might appreciate that.

It's not bribery if you are a sincerely saying "thank you;" they did go a little extra for you and they deserve to be thanked for that.

[miratrix]

During the application process, I sent each of them a packet of printed forms and addressed envelopes for each school, and I included a hand-written thank you in the packet. I feel like it might be weird to write another two months later out of nowhere, so I think I'll get back in touch when I've heard from more schools (maybe before I decide where to go, so I can get advice on decisions, or maybe after so it's like "thanks for helping me get into My New School!").

[GirlattheHelm]

I got three custom cards done and bought them a little something - but I'm also really close with all of them. I not only work with them, we all hang out. We're great friends, good family and fantastic coworkers as I see it.

And, really, they put up with me... and haven't called the cops or chased me out. And it has been a few years...

[GirlattheHelm]

I just wanted to add this for a little promotion for yourself (to personalize something) and a company that does a great job -

I ordered my custom cards from the Card Store.com. Holy crap are they cute! I'm doing all of my graduation party invites on there. And it is roughly the same as going to any basic card store in price. It's a shameless promotion for these people, but I think if you're looking for that personal touch it's a good option to have handy.

[fortiesgirl]

I, too, sent my recommenders gift cards. I don't think it was crossing the line as one poster said. But I am in a bit of a different situation than the typical student because I graduated from my program years ago. I now live over 6 hours away from my recommenders so I couldn't hand deliver a gift and I wouldn't want to risk something getting broken or lost in the mail. When I used to live closer to that campus, I did the gift thing. I also waited until weeks after I knew all the recommendations had been submitted (and I confirmed this fact with each of them), so there was absolutely no risk of the thought of bribery crossing their minds.

[jesso21]

I wrote my recommenders a nice thank you card and stuck it in their mailboxes at school. I didn't get them gifts or gift cards because I still have a class with one of them and see them all the time. I didn't want to seem bribey, and I really don't have the extra $$ anyway. They were all very appreciative of the cards and acted like it wasn't necessary.

The cards I sent were actually wedding thank you cards that I mistakenly picked up at Target. LOL They were pretty though! :oops:

[milara]

The thing for me is that I'm almost certainly going to be applying again next year. Anyone think that gifts as opposed to thank you notes would be out of line, considering that?

Also, one of my recommenders is an ethics professor. Does that make it likely, in your opinion, that a gift would be inappropriate for him at least?

[ewurgler]

The thing for me is that I'm almost certainly going to be applying again next year. Anyone think that gifts as opposed to thank you notes would be out of line, considering that?

Also, one of my recommenders is an ethics professor. Does that make it likely, in your opinion, that a gift would be inappropriate for him at least?

HAHA!! That is pretty funny. A card for sure. Maybe a tiny box of nice chocolates. I doubt he would take issue with that. I'm sure undergrad letters of rec are relatively "low-stakes" in terms of ethics violations:)

If you don't feel comfortable with a gift, a card is plenty.

[milara]

I'm sure undergrad letters of rec are relatively "low-stakes" in terms of ethics violations:)

If you don't feel comfortable with a gift, a card is plenty.

Oh, these aren't undergrad letters of rec. I'm applying to doctoral programs from a masters program, but for a variety of reasons, I don't expect to get in this year whereas I do expect to get in next year.

But yeah. The fact that he's an ethics prof made me chuckle, but it's also making me think twice about what to do/say.

[milara]

Oh, regarding what profs will say when you approach them for recommendations...

I had two obvious choices for recommenders, but I wasn't really sure about the third. I approached someone who had given me an A- in his class, and made it clear that I needed really good recommendations. He responded honestly that he could give me a positive rec, but not a glowing fantastic one, and that if that's what I really need, that I should look elsewhere -- especially since he was feeling strapped for time.

Personally, I really appreciated his honesty. Although with the weird pussy footing people do around this sort of thing, I wasn't sure if this translated into exactly what he said, or if it translates into him having neutral or negative feelings about me. I prefer to think that he meant what he said.

[mlle]

These hand-written thank you notes are so embarrassing: I just finished writing a note to one of my recommenders to thank them now that the whole ordeal is over (thus far I've only sent thank you e-mails), and she is going to have to see that I am incapable of writing cursive and I print letters like a 3rd grader. This is just so absurd. I have not hand-written anything in years ever since laptops were invented, damn it.

And not to mention the hassle of having to go out and find plain, appropriate stationary to use for your profs. The only stationary I had was foo-foo frilly stuff I use to write my grandmother. That wouldn't work.

Just wanted to share my irritation. I'm not even sure if I'm going about the thank-you business correctly. But judging from this thread, it seems like anything goes with the thank you's, depending on the context......

[ec86]

These hand-written thank you notes are so embarrassing: I just finished writing a note to one of my recommenders to thank them now that the whole ordeal is over (thus far I've only sent thank you e-mails), and she is going to have to see that I am incapable of writing cursive and I print letters like a 3rd grader. This is just so absurd. I have not hand-written anything in years ever since laptops were invented, damn it.

Haha, me too! My hand writing is terrible and illegible. Maybe I should've applied to med school instead...

[TulipOHare]

I feel like a jerk now. All I did was write (sincere!) e-mail thank-yous.

However...

One of my rec writers is my boss. So if I got her a present, I'd just be taking her grant money and giving it back to her, sort of. Another (former coworker who's now faculty in the field) insisted on writing a rec for me -- exact words "You let me know when you apply, because I want to write you a letter of recommendation" and when I laughed and jokingly said I'd make it worth his time he said seriously "Absolutely not, I'm doing it for free." The third is a former prof I've stayed in touch with because she pays me to edit her papers (she's not a native English speaker). So, again, her own money going back to her, sorta.

Ah, I'm rationalizing. I'm a jerk and should've at least sent a card. So would it be weird to send one now, or later in the process? Now that I'm starting to get responses, I feel like it'd be saying "thanks for getting me into school!" rather than "thanks for putting forth the time and effort to write me a rec!" Maybe the least weird thing would be to not do anything and accept that I was kinda rude.

[rufzilla]

I don't think that it will be weird to show your appreciation to your LOR writers, especially if you are getting positive responses from the schools you applied to. Nothing fancy is required -- I'm sure your letter writers would love to hear if you got into a school and it will not doubt make them feel good to know that their letter may have had a part in it. For example, maybe you could write:

Dear Dr. X,

I hope that your semester is going well (presuming that they teach)! I wanted to let you know that I was accepted into X school and I am going to be enrolling there in the fall. I wanted to thank you for taking the time and effort to write me a letter of recommendation. I really appreciate your help in my application process.

Sincerely,

Or something to that effect. That's about what I wrote to my LOR writers (although I've yet to hear from my grad school yet) and I will shoot them another card should I get into my school. No gift is needed (IMO). A simple "thank you" note will suffice.

[happyhulalola]

I will be making cards and baking some chocolate chip cookies for my profs and taking one of them out to lunch: she was my academic adviser, independent study adviser, the chair of a committee I was a member of, and I had 3 classes with her. She bought me lunch last year after I graduated so I suggested that I take her out to lunch (just pizza) this year to celebrate.

[liszt85]

Now I planned to take my recommender out to dinner but she told me that she was planning to take me out and hang out sometime before I leave the place! Now I'm stumped as to how to show my appreciation. She wrote recommendations, shortlisted universities for me, advised me throughout the application process and now is even taking me out to dinner. I really would like some advise on what else I could do to show her my appreciation now that dinner is out of the question I was planning on booking a houseboat (google to see what it looks like) trip for her if she were to come down to Kerala, which is a beautiful place and where I intend to get married but she said she might not be able to attend my wedding.

[TulipOHare]

I don't think that it will be weird to show your appreciation to your LOR writers, especially if you are getting positive responses from the schools you applied to. Nothing fancy is required -- I'm sure your letter writers would love to hear if you got into a school and it will not doubt make them feel good to know that their letter may have had a part in it.

I did do this yesterday. I walked across the hall and told my boss, and then sent e-mails to the other two. My e-mails were substantially less formal than what you suggested, but then my relationships with these people toe the lines between friend/colleague/authority figure. (I have seen all three of my recommenders drunk. )

[nandelle]

As I'm kind of far away from mine, I plan to write them a nice letter thanking them for their letters, lettting them know where I was accepted and where I will be attending (once I know!), and enclosing probably a starbucks gift card and some chocolate (suitable thanks from a Seattle girl and all my recommenders are coffee drinkers).

I wish I could do more, particularly for some of them! If I get a chance to go back to Montreal before the fall, I'll definitely try and take the professor that I worked wtih in undergrad, who was so helpful in grad applications/the only prof that got all my letters in on time, out to lunch or something similar.

[michigan girl]

I live in a different state now, and I plan to travel back to my undergraduate this summer to visit my old professors. I will bring a bag of goodies (books, brochures, etc.) from my post-college experiences too. What else should I bring besides a personal thank-you card?