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Recommender not responding!! (When to freak out?)


tendaysleft

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Hey everyone,

I'm having a problem with one of my recommenders and I'm not sure what to do. I emailed her around two weeks ago to ask if she would be willing to take a look at my SOP and she hasn't responded. It's fine if I need to get someone else to read over my SOP in the end, but I'm concerned that she'll be flaky about actually writing the LORs... I would go to her office hours, but she's a doctoral student and I'm not sure if she's even teaching any classes this semester.

When should I contact her again? (I'm guessing soon?) What can I say to her that gently reminds her of the fact that she agreed to write me LORs but isn't pestering or entitled? I'm not really sure how to approach this situation. Any help would be very much appreciated!

Edited by omnibuster
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I would go to her office hours, but she's a doctoral student and I'm not sure if she's even teaching any classes this semester.

I recommend that you first determine if she holds office hours or if she's teaching a class. If she does either, you can do a "pop in."

Edited by Sigaba
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I'm having the same problem--though I may be prematurely anxious--I emailed two of my recommenders Monday morning with my SOP and information about my programs and neither of them has acknowledged my email yet. I don't want to register them with my applications until they do, lest I appear presumptuous. I keep reassuring myself of two things.

  • They already agreed to write my letters. I asked one in mid-August; the other I asked last winter, but I spoke with him in the spring and again in July. Not about the recommendation specifically, but since he asked my input about a potential change in the syllabus, I'm confident about his perception of me as a student. Call me optimisitic, but I don't think profs commonly renege on recommendation offers.
  • It's still the first month of class, and their inboxes probably reflect that. Students trying to get off waitlists, switch sections, etc, plus everyone else who has probably requested recommendations.

If I don't hear from them by next Monday, I'm planning to send a friendly email (hitting reply on my original email, so they can see that text) along the lines of "Hi! I just wanted to touch base to make sure that you received my email last week [describe contents]. I didn't want to register you on my applications until I had double-checked that you're still able to write a recommendation for me. If you have any questions or need me to resend any information, let me know." Et cetera.

You might want to consider sending an email like that before you pop into office hours--it's quite possible, given the time of year, that it just got lost in her inbox.

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I recommend that you first determine if she holds office hours or if she's teaching a class. If she does either, you can do a "pop in."

This is a good idea. I just checked the course calendar and it looks like she isn't signed up to teach a class this semester so it looks like being able to pop in is unlikely, unfortunately.

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I'm having the same problem--though I may be prematurely anxious--I emailed two of my recommenders Monday morning with my SOP and information about my programs and neither of them has acknowledged my email yet. I don't want to register them with my applications until they do, lest I appear presumptuous. I keep reassuring myself of two things.

  • They already agreed to write my letters. I asked one in mid-August; the other I asked last winter, but I spoke with him in the spring and again in July. Not about the recommendation specifically, but since he asked my input about a potential change in the syllabus, I'm confident about his perception of me as a student. Call me optimisitic, but I don't think profs commonly renege on recommendation offers.
  • It's still the first month of class, and their inboxes probably reflect that. Students trying to get off waitlists, switch sections, etc, plus everyone else who has probably requested recommendations.

If I don't hear from them by next Monday, I'm planning to send a friendly email (hitting reply on my original email, so they can see that text) along the lines of "Hi! I just wanted to touch base to make sure that you received my email last week [describe contents]. I didn't want to register you on my applications until I had double-checked that you're still able to write a recommendation for me. If you have any questions or need me to resend any information, let me know." Et cetera.

You might want to consider sending an email like that before you pop into office hours--it's quite possible, given the time of year, that it just got lost in her inbox.

Haha I think all of us grad student hopefuls are prematurely anxious about just about everything! :D Myself definitely included. I think I have to finish my damned SOP, and then I can just send everything away and I'll feel a lot better. But first I want to ask a prof to look at it... I guess I will contact someone else for now, and then if she responds it will just be another pair of eyes, which is always good.

Do you think I should email her again about reviewing my SOP, or just leave it until I can provide her with all the materials for writing my letters?

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Do you think I should email her again about reviewing my SOP, or just leave it until I can provide her with all the materials for writing my letters?

It might be easiest on your recommender if you sought out some peer feedback, and then sent her a revised essay with your other information. I think that the members of this forum are a phenomenal resource when it comes to revising/perfecting SOPs--at least, I've had a really positive experience. I created a thread requesting review or exchange, and also responded to a couple threads around the board; this propelled my paper through three or so drafts.

This way, when I sent my recommenders application materials, I was able to include essays I considered strong--definite improvements over my original drafts. In my email to my profs, I stated "I welcome feedback/suggestions, if you have any." You can toggle the strength of this request--always remaining polite, of course: "I would love to hear your input on my essay" or "My statement of purpose is still a work in progress; if you have the time to give me some feedback, I would really appreciate it."

Edited by TypeA
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It might be easiest on your recommender if you sought out some peer feedback, and then sent her a revised essay with your other information. I think that the members of this forum are a phenomenal resource when it comes to revising/perfecting SOPs--at least, I've had a really positive experience. I created a thread requesting review or exchange, and also responded to a couple threads around the board; this propelled my paper through three or so drafts.

This way, when I sent my recommenders application materials, I was able to include essays I considered strong--definite improvements over my original drafts. In my email to my profs, I stated "I welcome feedback/suggestions, if you have any." You can toggle the strength of this request--always remaining polite, of course: "I would love to hear your input on my essay" or "My statement of purpose is still a work in progress; if you have the time to give me some feedback, I would really appreciate it."

These are both great points. Once I'm finished a semblance of a draft I will definitely put it up on gradcafe for consideration - and I really like the idea of combining giving over the materials with a polite request for feedback. Thanks for the advice!

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... for what it's worth, one of my recommenders just responded. I'm choosing to illogically interpret this as a sign that obsessing on this forum is productive.

Still waiting on the second (and still need to ask the third :wacko:).

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Are you sure you want a grad student writing you a LOR? Don't you know any profs who can write for you?

I thought about this too, but she was really enthusiastic about writing for me and she knows my abilities and personality much better than most actual professors I took classes with. I have two other recs that are full profs, one of which who is very well-respected and well-known in his field, so I'm hoping that plus the original recommender's enthusiasm make up for the fact that she is a graduate student.

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I thought about this too, but she was really enthusiastic about writing for me and she knows my abilities and personality much better than most actual professors I took classes with. I have two other recs that are full profs, one of which who is very well-respected and well-known in his field, so I'm hoping that plus the original recommender's enthusiasm make up for the fact that she is a graduate student.

I think what anyone can take away from this statement is that it is better to get a good recommendation by a person less known than a lackluster one from a person well known. Of course at times some admission committees will put more weight on a recommendation from more experienced recommenders, but if it's not-so-good then what's the point of getting one from that person because it could hurt your application.

Typically, I would advise a person to ask if you can get the grad student's monitoring professor to sign the recommendation, because it does often add more weight. From what I have encounter in this process is that most graduate students won't take any offense because they have been in a similar position before as well. At large universities this is quite common for a grad student/TA to write the recommendation and have the full professor sign it.

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I'm having the same problem--though I may be prematurely anxious--I emailed two of my recommenders Monday morning with my SOP and information about my programs and neither of them has acknowledged my email yet. I don't want to register them with my applications until they do, lest I appear presumptuous. I keep reassuring myself of two things.

  • They already agreed to write my letters. I asked one in mid-August; the other I asked last winter, but I spoke with him in the spring and again in July. Not about the recommendation specifically, but since he asked my input about a potential change in the syllabus, I'm confident about his perception of me as a student. Call me optimisitic, but I don't think profs commonly renege on recommendation offers.
  • It's still the first month of class, and their inboxes probably reflect that. Students trying to get off waitlists, switch sections, etc, plus everyone else who has probably requested recommendations.

If I don't hear from them by next Monday, I'm planning to send a friendly email (hitting reply on my original email, so they can see that text) along the lines of "Hi! I just wanted to touch base to make sure that you received my email last week [describe contents]. I didn't want to register you on my applications until I had double-checked that you're still able to write a recommendation for me. If you have any questions or need me to resend any information, let me know." Et cetera.

You might want to consider sending an email like that before you pop into office hours--it's quite possible, given the time of year, that it just got lost in her inbox.

Same problem here, with professors who had already expressed enthusiasm about writing months earlier, but now haven't heard from them after I sent in the official request + packet of info such as SOP. When and how to politely enquire or give a prod? Knowing they're flooded with emails already and grateful that they're on board with this at all.

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I thought about this too, but she was really enthusiastic about writing for me and she knows my abilities and personality much better than most actual professors I took classes with. I have two other recs that are full profs, one of which who is very well-respected and well-known in his field, so I'm hoping that plus the original recommender's enthusiasm make up for the fact that she is a graduate student.

You're absolutely sure about this? In some fields admission committees expect letters from people that can speak to your research potential from a supervisory point of view - i.e. they usually want to hear from a prof. So if I were you I would double check the requirements that the each of the schools you're applying to have for letters of recommendation.

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Im hoping on this bandwagon. E-mailed my Recommender a week ago asking when would be a good time to stop by his office to talk to him about grad school and to give him the info for my school's. No response. He wrote one for me last year as well and agreed to write me another in May after I was rejected. The e-mail I sent him a week ago was the first I've spoken to him since and basically just summed up the schools Im applying to, my SOP, and asked him when a good time would be to stop by his office.

Officially panicked and if I dont hear from him by next week Im definitely e-mailing again.

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