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If your top choice does not admit you, will you fake it?


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Posted

My friend, applying to economics ph.ds, told me a story that made me feel a little bit better. At an informational dinner at a VERY competitive program, one of the attendees did not know the difference between microeconomics and macroeconomics. She asked what the difference was right in the middle of a roomful of dumbfounded eggheads. Realizing that I'll be pitted against at least *some* folks like that makes me feel at least a wee bit better about my chances.

lol that made me feel a little bit better too. Someone should start an inspirational thread. Chicken soup for the graduate applicant's soul, anyone? I'd do it, but I don't have any warm fuzzies to impart.

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Posted

I haven't told anyone what my top choice is (besides close family and of course my recs), and I don't intend to unless I get in. The other two programs that I applied to - well no one around here has really heard of either so that hasn't been anything I've needed to explain/defend.

Posted

I'm not telling anyone anything. My roommate, a very patient and supportive MA student with no doctoral dreams, serves as my sounding board. Everyone else has to stay in the dark. I'm currently an MA student surrounded by classmates applying to several of the same schools. I don't intend to tell them if I get rejected, but I also don't intend to tell them if I get an offer, because I'd probably be pressured to respond quickly, and I don't want to be constantly questioned. The "where did you get in, what have you heard?!?!" will get old very fast, and is practically unavoidable by mid-March. I'm hiding as long as I can and hoping people assume (incorrectly!) that I am on the Eternal Waitlist.

Posted

Since First Choice University is in Home State (spouse's and my families are both there), I don't really have the option of saying I got in but turned them down--my father in law would have me killed.

Posted
Seems sort of silly to me. I mean, I think bubo has a point- who turns down their top choice? Even if they are not offered funding?

Ok, let's see here. According to my school I cost them $65k a year. If I had to pay that myself and I'm here for at least 6 years, we're looking at ~$400k of loans. By the time I'm done, I'm not guaranteed a job (in the academia) and might have to do a postdoc, and I'd be almost 30. Considering that, the top choice school can forget it. No way I can afford it, and it's not like there is a big drop off in quality in the top 15-20 programs. So, yes, I would turn down my top choice if they offered no money :)

Posted
wow, almost 30 after 6 years! lucky you ;)

lol- I know, right?

If your first choice is Harvard, etc, something like that you can be pretty sure you'll get a job when you finish. $65k a year sounds pretty steep to me, even for an Ivy.

Besides, not offered funding in your first year does not mean you won't get funding in subsequent years. However, I understand the concern. If I had to turn down a first choice for another one with more money, I'd likely do it.

Posted

It doesn't mean you will get funding in subsequent years either, though. I wouldn't sign up for five or six years of that kind of uncertainty. Also, if your top choice ISN'T Harvard, it might not pay off that much in the job market compared to your second anyway. I only applied to one Ivy, and no way would I go there without funding, even though it probably would help my job prospects I don't think it would help to the tune of hundreds of thousands in increased earnings.

Posted
wow, almost 30 after 6 years! lucky you ;)

haha thanks. I do what I can :D

If your first choice is Harvard, etc, something like that you can be pretty sure you'll get a job when you finish. $65k a year sounds pretty steep to me, even for an Ivy.

Besides, not offered funding in your first year does not mean you won't get funding in subsequent years.

Oh, the misconceptions. I didn't apply to any Ivys, because if you look at the field (computer science) and, in particular, the subfield I'm in (systems), you will find few programs at Ivy League schools that do meaningful research in the area. Moreover, their departments are small and you will find at most one person you could work with there. So, the way I see it, for me there is no point applying, even though Harvard sent me their application stuff.

And with regards to work opportunities, by the time I'm done with the PhD, it doesn't matter where I got it, because if I'm worth anything, the people in the field will know who I am and my work. Since I'm planning on pursuing a career in the academia that is what will count when I go for job interviews. The only catch is that getting a tenure track position is tricky, but hopefully it'll work out.

P.S. I misquoted the cost - it's ~$60k, but still seems pretty big (~$360k over 6 years). Tuition is $34k, stipend $24k, and health insurance is $2500, to break it down for the incredulous ones ;)

Posted

You could probably live on $10K without a stipend, unless it's NY or something, but even then you're talking $45K a year. Which is still kind of crazy.

As for applying to the schools with the best reputations and the schools with the best specific programs...I'm not sure what to think about that. I definitely went for the second route because there's a somewhat unusual specialty I'm interested in, which is the most important thing for grad school itself. But it does worry me that eventual hiring committees will probably be looking for people to complement the expertise that's already there, meaning they will not themselves be well-versed in unusual specialties, and so will still prefer the person from Harvard (or whatever the applicable example is here). That's really getting ahead of myself though...have to get admitted first.

Posted

well, my rent runs about $800/month, which translates into $9600/year. Then the bills are about $150/month. But I live alone, so that's the price I pay. I could survive on $16k probably, without changing the place I live in. But you're right, I could probably live on 10k and find a cheaper place. I'd just have to make sure I don't have any unforeseen expenses, like car repairs.

Posted

Yeah, I am feeling a bit silly right about now for telling everyone about my grad school apps and where I'm applying...but the truth is that it's very difficult not to tell people. Everyone asks me where I'm applying, did I hear anything, etc., etc. I always tell people that the odds are against me so that no one will be too surprised if I don't get into my top choice.

That said, I would never lie about where I got in and where I didn't. What would be the point of that???

Posted
I'm not telling anyone anything. My roommate, a very patient and supportive MA student with no doctoral dreams, serves as my sounding board. Everyone else has to stay in the dark. I'm currently an MA student surrounded by classmates applying to several of the same schools. I don't intend to tell them if I get rejected, but I also don't intend to tell them if I get an offer, because I'd probably be pressured to respond quickly, and I don't want to be constantly questioned. The "where did you get in, what have you heard?!?!" will get old very fast, and is practically unavoidable by mid-March. I'm hiding as long as I can and hoping people assume (incorrectly!) that I am on the Eternal Waitlist.

That's the story of my life.

Posted

My top choice is not the best school. The best school I applied to only offers full funding to 2 students every year and I am currently attending there for undergrad. it is a large program with decent odds on being accepted, but little or no chance of getting the amount of funding I need. My top choice is a lower tier school in my field but a good school to come out of for teaching, they generally offer funding for those accepted but only accept about 10 students each year. I won't fake it, but i won't tell anyone i didn't get in either.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

My husband made the mistake of telling my mother-in-law that we were applying to Princeton for grad school among others. Next thing I know, a month later at Christmas uncles, BIL, SIL, etc. whenever they got the chance asked, "So I here you're going to Princeton!" with huge smiles on their faces. Talk about high expectations. I kept correcting them, but for some reason they don't quite understand the difference between applying and attending.

So much pressure, I don't know how to let them down now that I've gotten the rejection letter last Friday.

But I definitely won't fake it to anyone. I too wish we'd told no one that we were even applying.

The way I see it, ten years from now, regardless of the school I go to, I'll be making big discoveries, giving seminars, called Dr. ________, and no one will be thinking of the rejections I got. Because really, my success is up to me (although I know the school I attend can make it harder or easier). These big dreams are what keep me going.

Posted

Yikes. Misattribution....

That happens to me alot with my relatives too, sonnyday.

I do have a friend who is applying to the same kinds of programs I am. We talk about how the process is going with each other sometimes. The only bad thing is when they get into schools that you don't get into... :(

Posted
I will go into hiding for a bit. I don't see a point in having to deal with nosy people who don't actually care when I am down, I suppose.

Same here. I hate it when people keep bugging me with the admit stuff. I had a vague feeling this might be coming and tried to keep applying on the down low but people can ferret it outta you eventually. I'd rather have no conversation than put up with fake commiserations. I'm not on facebook in anycase. So hiding should be easy.

Yeah most people think getting into PhD programs is f-ing easy. I dont want to be the person who corrects them.

Posted

My counterparts would all know I'd be lying. They're all going to get to see the acceptance and rejection letters in print anyway so I might as well own up to it...

My top choice is actually the University of Vermont - and for a Master's program nevertheless - but if I can get into a PhD program I won't count that as a failure. Though I really-really-really want to go to UVM. (Oh, Vermont how I love thee!)

Posted

I honestly don't think I could fake the kind of enthusiasm I feel after getting admitted somewhere. I also don't imagine I'd like to fake such happiness after just being rejected from my top choice.

Aside from that, I'd hate to have to keep making up excuses for why I didn't end up going to Top Choice, since I've already told everyone which it was. It'd be a lie that's told often by friends and family and I am sure that if I don't get in I would not want to hear Top Choice's name for a while at least.

Posted

Yeah, I was rejected from my top choice (unsurprisingly) but the family/friends didn't really get it - because it's not very competitive for undergrads in-state they didn't really understand that it would be much more competitive for grad studies. So I had to hear a lot of "I can't BELIEVE you got rejected from UW!". Fortunately I was not really surprised, and I figure I"ll be happy anywhere I end up going. :)

I really wish I hadn't been so public about which schools were my "top" choices though...because it makes things awwwk when I don't get in.

Posted

LOL i once knew this guy who i went to undergrad with (he was a few years a head of me). when he graduated and left he told everyone he went to UCSF for neuroscience on a full ride (insult to injury, he told everyone he got into the MD/PhD program there too) ...but then i found out several years later that he had lied- he didn't actually get in and just moved away and told everyone else that's where he was.

i know that's not what you're proposing, but do you really want to take step toward being that guy?

don't be like that guy!

Posted

What would you gain from lying? Every time someone congratulated you for getting in, you'd feel like, well... a liar.

Also, if someone found out that you lied, I suspect word would spread very quickly among your friends and colleagues. And since you appear to be in public policy, I think that would have severe repercussions.

Posted

Hey man...the fact that you even suggested it is weird to me--I don't think I'd lie either way cause it's nobody's business, especially if they're not exactly winning life's lottery either (and who really ever does???)...

but that said, people are gonna talk about you/comment on your life/have an opinion about you in WHATEVER you do, so "giving them the satisfaction of not seeing you achieve one of your goals" is beside the point...You'll get in SOMEWHERE, do good work, graduate, and the be great at what you do. Then WHATEVER people say/think/do shouldn't matter...

Well, at least that's what I think...

GG

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