Saw my LOR after it was sent, it wasn't that great...

[butterfingers2010]

One of my letter writers showed me a copy of my LOR, but only after most of them were sent. I saw one that wasn't sent because she brought it into work to give to me (this one has to be sent in a packet with all my other application materials) It wasn't inherently bad, but very short (about half a page) and didn't really provide details about my assets or skills. It did mention that I have been a "tremendous" asset to our program, and that I'm recommended "most highly" and "without reservation." It just didn't really highlight what I was hoping it would (my skills and potential as a counselor) I know my boss wasn't purposely writing me a bad letter. She has no experience with LOR's. When asked what I thought, I said it was good but a bit short. She said that she didn't want to repeat any information.

So here is the situation re. this letter and all the schools I'm applying to:

*Northwestern: Only requires two letters, which I already have...so I could just delete her's off my online application.

*Marquette: Requires three letters, but also had a supplementary questionnaire regarding specific skills, qualities, etc. In this case I am thinking that it might further enhance the letter and explain what was left out. I do have the option of asking somebody else and deleting her letter off the online application.

*UW Milwaukee: Requires three letters, but as I mentioned you have to send all of them together in one envelope, so I could ask somebody else to do it instead.

*UW Madison: Requires three letters, but it also online, so I could delete that one and ask someone else as well.

*UW Whitewater: Requires two minimum, and I already had two. The problem is that her letter has already been sent there (its the third), so they will still get it. I hope this isn't the kiss of death for me.

I am very disappointed that I may not be able to use this letter. I have worked this job full-time for two years, it is closely related to what I want to go to school for, and I was hoping a good letter from my boss would really boost my chances. It would be great to have somebody who can speak to my clinical skills. I think one of my other letters touches on this, but this is from a professor I knew as an undergrad who does not know my current skills. Not to mention, I am not sure who else to ask for a letter at this point. I could ask another professor, but I already have 2 letters from professors and I want my letters to be well-rounded. One of my co-workers might write me a letter but I doubt it would be taken very seriously by the addcomm.

LOR's have been an endless source of frustration for me and I thought that I had everything good to go. I guess I got my hopes up to soon...

Advice? Thoughts? Encouragement? Thanks!

[kaykaykay]

I am getting confused in another thread you said that the recommender did not show you their LOR. My first thought after reading these two posts was: what is wrong with you???? I will write it here even if I will get negative points.

-you are NOT supposed to see your recommendation letters. it seems to me you pressured someone to see it.

- the letter of recommendation said nice things about you and you cannot stop whining. frankly you would be the last person I would show anything after this reaction.

-if for some reason you would not get into a program you found someone (something ) to blame. congratulations.

it seems to me that you are playing an unfair game and you are trying to coerce people to obey you. I am shocked you want to get into councelling.

[emmm]

I think they realize that not all letter writers are equally skilled. At least she put good things in the letter, so they know in general how this LOR views you. Also, I think that letters from bosses can potentially be "mixed." After all, if you're that great an employee, your employer/boss is probably not thrilled about losing you to grad school. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[fuzzylogician]

Any chance of getting your boss to revise her letter? Tell her specifically what you had expected to find in the letter and emphasize that these traits/strengths are such that only she could attest to them. If she is trying to help and acknowledges that she doesn't have a lot of experience writing letters, she might agree to do this. If so, this time provide her with either a draft of a letter or just a list of things you hope will make it into the letter. She can then use this information and choose to write about those parts that she endorses as correctly characterizing you as a student/employee. If this is not an option and you think you have someone who could write you a better letter, I'd go ahead and do that. I'm not at all sure that it's possible to remove recommenders who you have added to your application--at least not in every app--so this is something to check. In addition, if schools allow a supplemental letter beyond what is required it may be wiser to just add a letter without removing this one, assuming that it doesn't say anything that could actually hurt you.

ETA: this is, of course, assuming you had permission to read your letter.

Edited November 8, 2011 by fuzzylogician

[butterfingers2010]

I am getting confused in another thread you said that the recommender did not show you their LOR. My first thought after reading these two posts was: what is wrong with you???? I will write it here even if I will get negative points.

-you are NOT supposed to see your recommendation letters. it seems to me you pressured someone to see it.

- the letter of recommendation said nice things about you and you cannot stop whining. frankly you would be the last person I would show anything after this reaction.

-if for some reason you would not get into a program you found someone (something ) to blame. congratulations.

it seems to me that you are playing an unfair game and you are trying to coerce people to obey you. I am shocked you want to get into councelling.

You misread both of my posts. I did not, at any point, pressure this person to show me the letter. She offered to initially (without me suggesting it) and did end up showing it to me (without me suggesting it). I am aware that I am not supposed to read my LOR's, but the opportunity was given to me and honestly..would you turn down such an opportunity? While I truly appreciate my boss's thoughts and efforts to help me, I did not feel it was a very strong letter. Yes, she did say nice things, but after all the research I did regarding LOR's...it just didn't seem quite up to par.

Please refrain from making assumptions about people you don't know, based on information that you are merely inferring. I was looking for CONSTRUCTIVE criticism/advice and support. I was under the impression that this is what these forums are for, and your "advice" is anything but.

Yes, I did give you a negative point for your post. Why? Because your comment is mean-spirited and ignorant. Go take out your anger/hurt/whatever your problem is to a more constructive place. Your negativity is not needed here. That is my two cents as a COUNSELOR. Also, please learn how to spell.

[ktel]

You really really need to just relax.

I had a very similar thing happen. I was applying to NSERC, which provides Master's scholarships for engineering, and was a little crunched to find letter writers. I found two who I was about to do a lot of work for, but I hadn't done much work yet. As a result one of the letters (the only one I saw) was really short and only said general things (but good things). Guess what, I got the scholarship, which is pretty competitive.

Once again, relax

[Sigaba]

It seems to me that you are playing an unfair game and you are trying to coerce people to obey you. I am shocked you want to get into counseling.

When you say other thread, did you mean this one <<

She offered to initially (without me suggesting it) and did end up showing it to me (without me suggesting it). I am aware that I am not supposed to read my LOR's, but the opportunity was given to me and honestly..would you turn down such an opportunity?

Yes. And bluntly, you should have declined this opportunity.

Please refrain from making assumptions about people you don't know, based on information that you are merely inferring. I was looking for CONSTRUCTIVE criticism/advice and support. I was under the impression that this is what these forums are for, and your "advice" is anything but.

Yes, I did give you a negative point for your post. Why? Because your comment is mean-spirited and ignorant. Go take out your anger/hurt/whatever your problem is to a more constructive place. Your negativity is not needed here. That is my two cents as a COUNSELOR. Also, please learn how to spell.

Jellybean24-- With respect, I think you should take to heart ktel's guidance.

You really really need to just relax. . . .Once again, relax

I understand that you're under a lot of pressure and your concerned about your candidacy and that there are aspects of this process that are proving especially worrisome. However, you are putting a lot of yourself "out there" in cyberspace during a time you want to convince others that you are calm, cool, and collected.

[kaykaykay]

I am getting angry with the long line of posters who demand to see their LORs. I think complaining about the content of a good LOR is just completely on another level of being spoilt. I am really not a mean spirited person but you have to let go the things you cannot control(and you are not supposed to control it only with your excellent work !) and have to concentrate on the things you can. And I would thank my coworker the effort he/she made for me.

[butterfingers2010]

Once again-I did NOT, at any time, demand...or even so much as suggest....that I see my LOR. I agree that doing so would definitely be wrong and unjust. Personally I think now that I would have preferred not to see it, because I wouldn't be so stressed about it-ignorance is bliss, I guess.

So after considering multiple opinions, both helpful (and not so) helpful, I think I'm just going to let it go as is. To play fair, I'm not going to ask for edits to the letter. I'm just going to relax, or try to anyway. Of course my boss has gotten-and will get-a big thank you. We've worked together two years and she is the best boss anybody could ask for, and just did me a huge favor. The same goes for my other letter writers.

[Sigaba]

Once again-I did NOT, at any time, demand...or even so much as suggest....that I see my LOR. I agree that doing so would definitely be wrong and unjust. Personally I think now that I would have preferred not to see it, because I wouldn't be so stressed about it-ignorance is bliss, I guess.

You've been clear on this point. You've also been clear that you accepted a situation in which you'd have been able to review a 'draft' of the LoRs and that you were disappointed when that opportunity did not materialize. So while you did not ask to cross a boundary, you were more than ready to step over it when the opportunity arose. In my opinion, that sensibility is highly problematic. MOO, LoRs are the most important aspect of the application process. IMO, all stakeholders need to understand how confidentiality contributes to integrity of the process.

My $0.02.

[runonsentence]

To the OP: I'd let the letter stand as is, and if anything, solicit another letter to augment your application. I had something somewhat similar happen, and it didn't seem to really hurt my admissions chances. My mentors told me that committees often expect to see a dud or two mixed into packets and know that sometimes things fall through with letters and that it doesn't reflect poorly on the candidate. If your other letters look good, you'll probably be fine.

To the forum: Most of my letter writers asked me to look at my letters after they'd written them, and give them feedback/corrections. This seems to be normal with other friends of mine who've gone through the application process, as well. I don't see anything wrong with this, unless I'm missing something here that makes this case unique?

My understanding of the LoR waiver is that applicants waive their right to review the letter—that is, I've never equated "right to review" with "I promise not to look at my letters, even if they're offered." My understanding is that applicants simply relinquish the right to read all LoRs, with or without permission (and instead can only view letters the writer decides to make available).

Edited November 9, 2011 by runonsentence