Competition at visits =/

[MakeYourself]

Hi all, I have a couple questions about interview weekends... I'm a little nervous about the possibility that there may be quite a bit of competition (i.e., my POI might have invited 3 people but is really only going to accept 1). I tend to not do so well in these types of situations so I'm wondering...

1) For those of you who have been to a visitation weekend, is this usually the scenario? Or have your experiences been more optimisic? Was it more of an orientation for everyone rather than competitive?

2) What's the best way to deal with competition? I feel like if I'm too forward I'll seem rude and arrogant, but I also don't want to be too quiet and let others steal the spotlight. (Any specific examples of experiences and what helped people stand out would be really appreciated!).

Thanks

[Sparky]

1. It *totally* depends on the school and program. Some depts do competitive interviews, as you described; some are just looking to make sure the people they're already planning to accept know how to brush their teeth. However, it is a "competitive interview" the other way around, too--the school is giving YOU a chance to interview IT as well. It's awkward--it's *really* awkward sometimes--but it works, somehow. Pay attention to what's going on in the dept and on campus. Is this somewhere you see yourself living? Thriving? Do you click with the grad student cohort?

2. Be ONLY positive. Don't engage in any backstabbing or nastiness. Even if it's fake smiles. Be enthusiastic. You have already proven yourself to the adcomm academically; you wouldn't be at the interview if you hadn't! What they are most likely looking for is (1) confirmation that you really do know what your app says you know, so be ready to answer some questions about your research interests, and (2) future colleagues. Think of this as them auditioning people for the role of "being around me for the next X years." You want to seem like someone who will be, if not always a joy, at least not a *heartache* to have around.

If you are worried, "out loud", on the Internet, about possibly being rude and arrogant, my *suspicion*--and I have nothing to back this up, just a hunch--is that you have a tendency to sell yourself short to others. Don't let yourself do that. It's very possible (again, just a hunch) that your idea of 'rude' and 'arrogant' is really just 'has an opinion about [method].'

At my interview, there were enough targeted questions (i.e. aimed directly at individual people) even during group interview situations that even the people who talked incessantly didn't drown the rest of us out.

If the program is your top choice, say so. I don't advocate lying--what if you get in elsewhere and decide to go there instead? you don't want to burn any bridges in the professional world before you even get started!--but if it *is* your #1 school, it can only help you to let them know.

And look--yes, it's awkward, yes, it's stressful, yes, you have to be "on" the entire time and that can be a challenge for some of us. But you can also mess up collassally and still get in--I did. You know the ONE piece of advice for ANY interview situation that never, ever changes? Don't be late. Yeah, um, I was 10 minutes late for the very first activity. I am now in my second year of that program.

[ltodd]

To confirm the previous caveat it definitely all depends on the specific institution and the program.

That being said I have not found any interviews awkward, nearly all the grad students and faculty I have met have been very affable.

I also have enjoyed spending time with the other applicants. I have not at all got the vibe we were all in competition with each other.

Like others said over and over again you just have to relax and be yourself, it is the only way you will be comfortable and that will show.

Also to confirm the previous poster keep in mind this is not just them analyzing you. You are preparing to dedicate 5 years of your life to this institution and program you need to be equally interviewing/assessing the school/faculty/students as well.

[crazygirl2012]

And look--yes, it's awkward, yes, it's stressful, yes, you have to be "on" the entire time and that can be a challenge for some of us. But you can also mess up collassally and still get in--I did. You know the ONE piece of advice for ANY interview situation that never, ever changes? Don't be late. Yeah, um, I was 10 minutes late for the very first activity. I am now in my second year of that program.

Thank you for this! Thanks for admitting that you're not perfect even though you've been successful, and thanks for understanding that some of us get really nervous about being evaluated all day.