Did I come off as rude?

[Rachel B]

I go to a small liberal arts college in the Midwest and it's extremely common (at least 80% of the time) that the professors at my school request that students, even students they've only met once, call them by their first names.

However, during my email correspondence with a professor at a graduate school, I kept addressing her by her first name. Only until I visited the campus and heard the graduate students refer to her as Professor "Last Name" did I realize my error. Did I come off as rude? How common is it for undergraduates/graduates to call their professors by their first name?

[CarlieE]

I follow the rule that if I was introduced to someone as Dr X, then I continue calling them Dr or Prof X until they give me to leave to call them otherwise. If Dr X introduces him or herself as John or Mary or whatever their first name is, then I call them by their first name...

If in doubt, always use Dr or Prof X... but then, when I'm in doubt I also call people Mr X or Mrs X, rather their first names. Like my friends' parents are always Mr or Mrs So-and-So. Close friends' parents I call Aunty or Uncle (but then I come from a Southeast Asian background)..

As an UG I always call my professors Dr or Prof X... one professor I call by his last name...

Even as a grad though, I wouldn't make the assumption that first name usage is OK. This is probably a personal decision, but I like the distinct boundary that a title creates. I feel that a sort of professionalism develops and is less likely to be "corrupted" by personal or social dramas.

It's a cultural thing and it all depends on the individual. Did the professor seem peeved at you for using her first name? Did she attempt to correct you? Did the other students give you an "OH MY GOD, you DIDN'T!!" kind of look?

[Rachel B]

I follow the rule that if I was introduced to someone as Dr X, then I continue calling them Dr or Prof X until they give me to leave to call them otherwise. If Dr X introduces him or herself as John or Mary or whatever their first name is, then I call them by their first name...

If in doubt, always use Dr or Prof X... but then, when I'm in doubt I also call people Mr X or Mrs X, rather their first names. Like my friends' parents are always Mr or Mrs So-and-So. Close friends' parents I call Aunty or Uncle (but then I come from a Southeast Asian background)..

As an UG I always call my professors Dr or Prof X... one professor I call by his last name...

Even as a grad though, I wouldn't make the assumption that first name usage is OK. This is probably a personal decision, but I like the distinct boundary that a title creates. I feel that a sort of professionalism develops and is less likely to be "corrupted" by personal or social dramas.

It's a cultural thing and it all depends on the individual. Did the professor seem peeved at you for using her first name? Did she attempt to correct you? Did the other students give you an "OH MY GOD, you DIDN'T!!" kind of look?

I didn't actually address her by her first name in person, just via email. She signed her email with her first name, so I assumed it would have been okay to address her as such, but then again I know a lot people just don't refer to themselves in the formal. But then when I heard the grad students refer to her formally, I felt really bad. She didn't try to correct me when she replied to my emails though.

[CarlieE]

Hmmm that translation from email to a face-to-face encounter is always tricky..

Well, I think you should be OK then.. perhaps you might ask her politely how she would like to be addressed and you could explain the email reason for your confusion?

I looked back on the emails I got from the POI where I am accepted and he signs his emails with his initials. But since I always say Dr So-n-So I didn't think too much on it when I met him in person. ... I just took another peek at emails from other profs.. and most seem to sign it with their full name but without a title ie. John Smith or P. Johnson.. or use their initials HG or whatever. Since your POI signed it with her first name and left off her second/last name, it doesn't seem far off to infer that she doesn't mind you using her first name.

It's also possible that the students you overheard are like me ie. they feel more comfortable using a title regardless of what the professor prefers. I have a hard time using first names even when given permission to. In those cases I generally avoid using a name. It's a cultural thing.

I'd say that this is a fair question to ask, but if you feel weird about it, you could start using calling her Prof So-n-So and see if she then asks you to call her by her first name..

[felicidad]

I had the same issue recently. I usually follow the rule above of referring to people as they've introduced themselves. That resulted in me addressing emails to a DGS by her first name.

If I did offend (and I still am concerned I might have), I think I made up for it by calling and asking for Professor "Y."

PS, am I the only person who thinks of the X-Men every time I start to write Professor X?

[CarlieE]

PS, am I the only person who thinks of the X-Men every time I start to write Professor X?

LOL no! You're not the only one

[crazygirl2012]

Oh, I hate the name issue. It never ends! I'm from a small liberal arts college in the Midwest too, so I'm accustomed to calling a lot of my professors by their first names as well. As far as I can tell, it's okay to use a first name when they either introduce themselves that way (just their first name, no last name) or sign an email with just their first name. Initials as a signature or first name + last name still mean that you should call them doctor or professor.

It's possible that the grad students weren't using her first name because they assumed that she didn't want you to use it. That happened at my last interview. I was never given any indication that I should use first names for professors at that school, so I don't. The students would call them by their first names unless they were speaking directly to us prospective students, in which case they would refer to professors using their titles and last names.

A professor at a different school signed her emails to me with her last name until she invited me for an interview, when she immediately switched to first name. When she switched, I did too. Her grad students use her first name and her undergrads use her title and last name, so I think it was a nice gesture to switch to first name with me. My point is, it meant something. Definitely be careful with the name thing, in all contexts! I think that students like you and I have to be particularly aware of it because we come from schools where first name is the norm.

[coonskee]

I'd definitely advise everyone to use Ms. or Mr. or Dr. ______ when first meeting someone, regardless of where you're from. Look at it this way: if they want you to call you by their first name, they'll tell you - and you'll win points for being extra polite and respectful!