The Grad 35+ club

[long_time_lurker]

I'm only 33 but I have a baby on the way so we will see what happens!

Honestly I was surprised how many people in my program are young. I always assumed people had to get real life experience first before they applied for a PhD. There are a few others in my program who are in their 30's and 40's so I don't feel alone.

You shouldn't have to think you have to "live like a student". Honestly I never did that when I was young anyway. I've worked since I was 14. If you manage your time properly - and I'm not always even good at that - and are willing to forego some sleep, it's very doable to work 20-25 hours a week elsewhere - and the benefit of not being 22 years old is you have real life experience and credentials so you can make $30-100 an hour during those hours instead of the kids who are doing odd jobs.

[Ablukhov]

Thanks for the info, jerzygrl! I honestly didn't think of looking into how schools deal with students with children when I applied, and it probably won't effect my decision too much, but it's still very helpful to have that in the back of my mind. I'm in the incredibly fortunate situation of having a husband who works free-lance and often from home, so I'm hoping that between two flexible schedules plus having my in-laws nearby we can manage... but this is all still in the future! We did successfully raise an energetic pup while I was doing my MA, and my mother (who has raised 2 kids and many puppies) swears that babies are easier than puppies, although I'm almost certain that this is just her way of tricking us into giving her grandkids

[WannaBeEast]

Thanks for the info, jerzygrl! I honestly didn't think of looking into how schools deal with students with children when I applied, and it probably won't effect my decision too much, but it's still very helpful to have that in the back of my mind. I'm in the incredibly fortunate situation of having a husband who works free-lance and often from home, so I'm hoping that between two flexible schedules plus having my in-laws nearby we can manage... but this is all still in the future! We did successfully raise an energetic pup while I was doing my MA, and my mother (who has raised 2 kids and many puppies) swears that babies are easier than puppies, although I'm almost certain that this is just her way of tricking us into giving her grandkids

Having raised a number of puppies and children (four of whom are boys), I have to tell you that your mother is indeed attempting to trick you into having babies .

[snes]

I'm 24, but this thread has really made me think about reconciling my "a baby before 30" and "a PhD before 30" goals, and on my visits adding in questions about family/child support and program flexibility down the line. Also maybe I'm thinking about this because it's Valentine's day, haha.

[jerzygrl]

I will agree with your mother that in some respects raising a baby is easier than a puppy. Puppies only ever mature to three year olds... kids eventually take care fo themselves! Sounds like you have a good set-up with your husband and in-laws so you are probably in good shape. You should still look at the type of childcare options available where ever you consider going. It does happen that everyone will be sick but you and baby and you will need a back-up plan for those days. I didn't think it could possibly happen and I had to miss class!

One of the reasons I mention Cornell though is that the school holds events for children of grad students and even spouses of students. The school works to make sure the whole family is cared for so the student is free to study. Few other schools do this... but I am with you that ultimately this will not affect my decision too much. My family is used to the current "they don't exist" system in place by most schools, but it would be nice to have them feel as though they are a part of my education.

[jerzygrl]

I should have added a disclaimer that my oldest is only 10... I could be fooled into the lull before teenager! I am in that dangerous period where I don't remember the struggle of living with baby and I do not yet have the pain of teenage angst.

(and it's Valentine's day... quick sweetie! Hand me the large snuggie to wrap myself in! Now isn't that sexy? )

[scrapster]

Ahh, this thread is making me feel better as I wait to hear from the one school that I applied to (where I am most likely wait listed). I've become so focused on getting a PhD--as is necessary when pouring your heart and soul into applications--that I've diminished the fact that I have two, good job offers waiting for me if I don't get in.

Maybe another round of grad school isn't the end all/be all I'm making it out to be. Still, it does seem like the most direct route to where I would like to go professionally. And the fact that I do now have a kid (11 days old!), has been the push for me to finally choose an area of expertise and establish a career, and not just have a "job" with no clear path for advancement.

So, count me in the club! (39 year-old dad)

[Dal Espyrn]

Count me in too. I'm 38 with a wife and kid. My wife is a freelancer so can move with me. What makes me nervous are the economics -- I have a solid job that I'm not miserable in (although it has no growth prospects, hence grad school) and pays really well -- and that my ten-year-old right now would rather hang with me than anyone else, and that's not going to be true forever, but I'm looking to lock myself in a study carrell for two to five years. Still, it's an exciting change. I hope. (Still waiting to be accepted anywhere...)

[DeeLovely79]

I am 34 and applying now for a PhD. I worry about not starting a family, building retirement, losing income etc.

I am excited about putting my years of experience and translate it into research and sharing with others in a program of somewhat "equally minded" people.

As far as having kids while doing your PhD. I have several PhD friends who said do it after coursework is completed, then it is easier to manage. That is my plan, if I get in. Oh and if I find a hubby.

I'm 32 but I'll be 33 by the time I attend my program some where north of 35 by the time I finish my degree. For this reason I am petitioning the committee for acceptance into the Grad 35+ Club. *I hope I don't have to wait 2 months to find out if I got in!!*

I'll be moving to a new city for my program so I am hoping to meet someone interesting (and independantly wealthly ) and settle down (with my luck I'll probably fall head over heels for someone pursuing a PhD in the humanities) I have heard from graduate students in other fields that having children during the dissertation phase is preferrable as childcare arrangements are less of an issue at this point. One of the programs I am considering has policies in place regarding parental leave for graduate students and that is very attractive.

My biggest concern is transition from being an adult with an income in a supervisory position to being a trainee living off scraps.

[MediaMom]

I'll jump into this thread. I'm 36--I'll be 37 by the time the fall semester begins--and I'm married with two little girls, ages 1 and 3. I'm still waiting to hear back from one of my schools, but I have two acceptances, so I will definitely begin my Ph.D. in communication this year. I finished my master's degree in 2002, so it's going to be very strange getting back into student mode! I'm glad to see a thread dedicated to the often unique experience of older grad students, especially those of us who do have kids and other at-home family responsibilities.

[antecedent]

I'm 38. So far just one acceptance to a Master's only program. At least I have that but it will just make this whole process longer. I'm also a military wife (coast guard) and we move every 2 to 4 years so since my degree 10 years ago I've done a lot of different jobs, none Geology related. Just waiting and seeing. My husband is getting stationed in Alameda, CA so I am limited to Stanford and Berkeley for PhD, rotten odds for me there. But I do have San Jose State, so I have something at least which is more than I've had in the last 10 years.

Don't forget San Francisco State! Unless they don't have a Geology program, then forget them.

[UnlikelyGrad]

I've been part of the club for a while now...in my 3rd year of a PhD program and turning 40 in 2 days.

I have four kids, 10 to 19 (so yes, I know how young adults speak). Going back to school after ~15 years of SAHM-hood was not as hard as I thought. In fact, as far as coursework goes I generally beat the pants off of the younger folks since I was more disciplined/ready to do the work.

I haven't had a baby in grad school (though I did in UG and it was do-able), but at least two women I know have done it. One was just writing her dissertation, but the other was actively doing research. Somehow it worked out for both of them--they've both graduated in the last year.

I have gone through a nasty (and I do mean really nasty) divorce during my grad school years. It's been supposedly "final" for 8 months but the legal issues are still going on and I foresee this continuing for at least another year!! Joy!!

The point is this: you never know what will hit you as a student. You have to be ready for anything. That's true whether you have kids or not, are married or not. I have friends in my cohort who have had parents die without warning, needed surgery that kept them off their feet for a couple of months, you name it. Life is hard. You have to learn to deal with it.

[CarlieE]

^{I'm 35 turning 36 in one month. So far I have been acepted into 1 program (applied to 5). I am anxious to attend visiting day and see who else got into the program. I am really hoping for a little diversity in age. I would hate to be the only one over 30 among a bunch of 20 year olds.}

I'm 30 (will be 31) when I begin grad school in the Fall. I thought that I would be the "only" one in their 30s at the interview and I was completely wrong. There were at least 4 of us (out of 17) that were in our 30s and a few more of us in our late 20s.

A lot of people are going back to school and (I think) the grad school experience will be far different from the UG experience we had. I'm a non-traditional student now as a UG - I'm 30 and just finishing my senior year. Most of my friends at school are in their early 20s.. a few in their late 20s.. but I'm generally always the oldest. However, no one makes me feel "old".

At the interview though I met with the current grad students where I will be going and many are married, or in their 30s as well... It will be a whole new world..

---> Also interested in having children before 40. This discussion on having babies in grad school is interesting.. As I said, I'm 30 and my current bf wants children too (he's 28)... We are wondering how we can make it work on our income, with both of us in grad school, research, travelling etc.. Also, where are moving to, neither of us have family nearby..

Edited February 16, 2012 by anthroDork

[civicblade]

I'm 35 this year and I have applied to UBC's Master of Engineering program.

I've always wanted to take a professional master's course and had been through 1 year of part time Master of Science, Mechanical Engineering Design program in Nanyang Technological University in Singapore when I was 27-28 years old. It turned out that the master's course in Singapore was the same dry and un-interesting format as the undergrad program that I had graduated from. And so.. I dropped out and concentrated on my career.

Now that it is ten years from my bachelor degree, I have this urge again to try another master's course in mechanical engineering and after researching grad schools in North America, I've decided to apply to UBC's master of engineering program and I am waiting for the acceptance/rejection reply.

I hold a full time job that maintains me and my wife and it is with apprehension whenever I think about the Fall 2012 when I have to go back to a student lifestyle living on a budget and without income. I will an be an international student and my wife will accompany me to Vancouver if I am accepted.

On the flipside, if I managed to be accepted it will be a dream come true for me to experience life outside of the tiny island of Singapore. The adventure will be taken in stride and in excitement.

I cannot wait to hear from UBC and hopefully the reply will be favorable and that will open up a new chapter in my life.

[GradHooting]

Hey, guys, I'm kind of curious...

How do the top schools view older candidates for things like master's programs? Is there a certain disadvantage of being an older student, and are these schools looking for fresh young minds? Does that worry ever come up? Or, is that just completely bunk?

Mind you, I'm 25, so I shouldn't even belong in this thread. But, I do know many people your age who have similar worries.

[MediaMom]

Hey, guys, I'm kind of curious...

How do the top schools view older candidates for things like master's programs? Is there a certain disadvantage of being an older student, and are these schools looking for fresh young minds? Does that worry ever come up? Or, is that just completely bunk?

Mind you, I'm 25, so I shouldn't even belong in this thread. But, I do know many people your age who have similar worries.

I can't speak for every graduate program out there, but I have a master's degree and my program was very diverse in terms of age and experience. I was in my mid-20s when I was in the program, but I had significant work experience already, and I think it put me at a distinct advantage over students who were fresh out of UG. (For what it's worth, I was a non-trad UG who worked full-time while in school, and I think the workplace and time management experience gave me an edge over traditional students then as well.) I think that most programs are looking to admit people who can be successful in the program, bottom line. Some young students are very capable, and some older students are not. What matters is competency and a passion for your work.

[CarlieE]

my professor got pregnant with her first in the middle of her Ph.D. -- suddenly funding "disappeared" and she was outright told that serious Ph.D. students don't have babies.

Really? Can they do this? How do they get away with it? ie. if she was keeping up her grades and workload, then how can they do this?

One of my good friends just got pregnant her first year in her MA program and everyone is very supportive; instead of the 2 years, she is finishing her MA in 3 (which is not uncommon at the school I'm at).

Most of the female professors I know are very supportive of their female students having children in school and even most of my male professors are very understanding. Perhaps the faculty where I am at are just awesome people, but surely most professors went through this same kind of dilemma when THEY were in grad school!!

[jmkyle]

I'm 22, but a lot of the people in my M.A. program were 30+...in fact, I felt out of place for being the baby of the bunch. And honestly, we were all surprised to find out how old (or young, in my case) everyone was. We were all sort of in the same boat/position, and were in similar places in our lives, so it didn't matter so much.

[parable151]

Don't forget San Francisco State! Unless they don't have a Geology program, then forget them.

They do and I have applied there too but it's only a Master's degree and I am hoping to get right into a PhD. If not, I think my interests are more toward the San Jose program.

[fes_alum]

I am 38 (turning 39 next month) and will likely return to graduate school full-time this fall. I am a "late bloomer" and didn't get my bachelor's degree until I was 33 or my master's degree until I was 36. After a spending two years abroad on a research fellowship, I returned home and found a great job last year.

One of the biggest concerns I have about returning to graduate school once again is my student debt. Currently I owe $67K on my loans, which isn't too bad considering my education cost me almost $200K (including tuition, books, cost of living, etc.). I know that once I return to grad school I can defer my loans and the feds pay the interest on them. However, with my current job, I can easily pay off that debt in 5-years. I like the idea of starting a PhD program debt free but there is no way I can wait 5-years to start a doctorate--it's a "now or never" situation for me. After all, my long-term career goal is to be a college professor (and knowing what professors make, I like the idea of being debt free when I graduate).

Is there anyone else out there with a lot of debt and if so, how is this factoring in your decision to pursue a graduate education?

[MediaMom]

I am 38 (turning 39 next month) and will likely return to graduate school full-time this fall. I am a "late bloomer" and didn't get my bachelor's degree until I was 33 or my master's degree until I was 36. After a spending two years abroad on a research fellowship, I returned home and found a great job last year.

One of the biggest concerns I have about returning to graduate school once again is my student debt. Currently I owe $67K on my loans, which isn't too bad considering my education cost me almost $200K (including tuition, books, cost of living, etc.). I know that once I return to grad school I can defer my loans and the feds pay the interest on them. However, with my current job, I can easily pay off that debt in 5-years. I like the idea of starting a PhD program debt free but there is no way I can wait 5-years to start a doctorate--it's a "now or never" situation for me. After all, my long-term career goal is to be a college professor (and knowing what professors make, I like the idea of being debt free when I graduate).

Is there anyone else out there with a lot of debt and if so, how is this factoring in your decision to pursue a graduate education?

From undergrad and grad school, I have about 47K in loans. My hope is that I can put my loans into deferral when I return to school, but still continue to make occasional payments on the principal as we have extra cash. (I haven't talked to Sallie Mae about it yet, though.) I'm fortunate that my husband works full time and that our family health insurance is through his employer, so as long as I'm well funded with a TAship or something like that, I won't have to take additional loans. When I was in my master's program, I was single, and while my TAship provided a tuition waiver, it only offered a tiny stipend. So I had to take out loans for living expenses. It's a hard choice, especially knowing that it can take a while to work up to a decent salary as a professor. But I'm in the same boat as you are, age-wise (I'll be 37 when the semester starts) and I'd like to get at least 20 years in on a faculty, so it would be nice if I could finish my PhD by the time I'm in my early 40s.

Isn't it bizarre to be this old?! I don't feel like I'm nearing 40, that's for sure. I never would have thought 20 years ago that I'd be launching a career at this stage. But like you, I was a bit of a late bloomer, and it took me a while to figure out that this is what I want to do.

[AlisN1dlan]

MediaMom - guaranteed loans automatically go into deferral as long as you're in school at least half-time. But they are quite glad to take your money whenever you'd like to give it to them

Edited February 19, 2012 by AlisN1dlan

[CarlieE]

Is there anyone else out there with a lot of debt and if so, how is this factoring in your decision to pursue a graduate education?

I'm 30 and have $30,000 in debt just from my UG degree. I took a double degree and minor so it took me a year and half longer. I just got accepted into a PhD program which is fully funded (THANK HEAVENS) but my stand on the issue is that I'm just not going to think about the debt until I can actually get a job to pay it. My current professors have told me that it's not as bad as it seems - we're not talking about 6 digit debt - and from their experience, it really won't feel long or like a burden once we are out and working (and earning enough money).

Sometimes I worry about saving enough for retirement - I've tried not to touch my 401k and IRA but I might have to to help me bridge the gap between the Spring and Fall semester when I begin grad school - but, well.... I would rather be in debt than live my life inside the tiny cubicle that I was caged in before I started going back to school.

[TropicalCharlie]

My husband and I are both 30ish, no kids. He is 3/4 of the way through his doctorate program, and I will begin my MS program this fall. Prior to grad school, we both had good paying jobs with awesome benefits and lived a very comfortable life style, taking frequent vacations and such. When my husband entered his program, the shock of the life style adjustment was quite jarring. Our savings were whittled away to pretty much nothing by relocation expenses (moved from mainland to the middle of the Pacific ocean) and loss of full-time income. I am not complaining about these changes but merely acknowledging how difficult the transition can be at first. For us, it will be slightly worse this fall as both of us will be in school at the same time (plus another move back to the mainland). It is a good thing that I like ramen, because it looks like I'll be eating a lot of this in the next couple of years.

Edited February 24, 2012 by TropicalCharlie

[Cheynina]

I'm 45 years old and have just been accepted to a doctoral program that six months ago would have seemed totally out of reach. I wanted to share this with you to provide a ray of hope that age isn't always a show-stopper or a take-away in the eyes of the adcomms. By the time I've completed my dissertation I'll be in my early 50s (yikes - how'd that happen?) but will hopefully be in a good place to make the transition into academia.

Best of luck to everyone who's awaiting decisions!