Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[memberofthe?]

Yeah man, for my job I basically write perfunctory emails all day long to barely literate hobbyists and irate parents, and it has made me reconsider my ability to string more that a paragraph together at a time. I'm glad that no matter the program I end up in I will have a few years of coursework to kick my ass into shape! Though I've been thinking maybe I should take a summer course as a bit of a warm up...

I agree, applying to grad school would be easy if it was just about book learnin', but it isn't that simple! Figuring out how I'm going to afford it, and how I'm going to maintain a long distance relationship, and how I'm going to afford to maintain a long distance relationship, has all been gnawing away at me too! Not to mention the occasional bout of imposter syndrome (only really present when I think about PhD programs but still).

Yeah, the affording thing for me was luckily not a problem in my undergrad program, but the idea of living in London (which I've come to understand is only as expensive as you make it THANK GOD) is crazy because the money has to come from somewhere and it is a lot to ask for... That and asking someone to move to another country with you is a lot. Not impossible, but Long Distance costs SO much which i only say from experience, I don't think I could submit myself to that kind of torture when I'm already signed up for torture in Literature form. So i wish your relationship Luck and am sending good vibes in your direction!

PhD programs bring on such things for me as well. I was talking to my dad tonight and he said something on the order of "Maybe fate is telling you to attend this one University" Which equates to something like: no matter how qualified you are for a PhD program, maybe this MA program is meant to be. Mind you, it is... I think leaving California for a year would be an amazing experience, but I can't help asking why do they want me, but no PhD programs (so far) are willing to admit me. No wonder I loved visiting London so much, OBVIOUSLY the Brits and I are kindred spirits. (I jest, but am half serious...)

[antecedent]

Yeah, the affording thing for me was luckily not a problem in my undergrad program, but the idea of living in London (which I've come to understand is only as expensive as you make it THANK GOD) is crazy because the money has to come from somewhere and it is a lot to ask for... That and asking someone to move to another country with you is a lot. Not impossible, but Long Distance costs SO much which i only say from experience, I don't think I could submit myself to that kind of torture when I'm already signed up for torture in Literature form. So i wish your relationship Luck and am sending good vibes in your direction!

PhD programs bring on such things for me as well. I was talking to my dad tonight and he said something on the order of "Maybe fate is telling you to attend this one University" Which equates to something like: no matter how qualified you are for a PhD program, maybe this MA program is meant to be. Mind you, it is... I think leaving California for a year would be an amazing experience, but I can't help asking why do they want me, but no PhD programs (so far) are willing to admit me. No wonder I loved visiting London so much, OBVIOUSLY the Brits and I are kindred spirits. (I jest, but am half serious...)

Jeez our stories sound similar. I'm West Coast (raised in California, did my undergrad in Vancouver B.C.), looking at a one year Masters in the UK (Scotland), leaving behind The World's Best Boyfriend cause we can't afford for him to come and not work, affording to live in Big Cities in the UK...

I'm actually working on Edinburgh scholarships right now to take my mind off of NOT getting any PhD admits this time around. Sigh.

[memberofthe?]

Jeez our stories sound similar. I'm West Coast (raised in California, did my undergrad in Vancouver B.C.), looking at a one year Masters in the UK (Scotland), leaving behind The World's Best Boyfriend cause we can't afford for him to come and not work, affording to live in Big Cities in the UK...

I'm actually working on Edinburgh scholarships right now to take my mind off of NOT getting any PhD admits this time around. Sigh.

VERY Similar, which is comforting because this website induces too much anxiety for me--thus, I haven't posted or read much on the site until today because I hadn't made a decision (even my currently tentative one). I've been dating my boyfriend for more than 4 years, and we have been through the ringer together, and I literally would feel like I was throwing 4 years of my life--minus the schooling--if I just went to London and said goodbye. I'd spend the whole time on the plane crying, which sounds positively miserable! I have a kind enough family to be able to afford to have my boyfriend come with me, if this is the decision he chooses because a flat is a flat is a flat, it all costs the same when you aren't willing to live with room mates (I've had TERRIBLE experience with every room mate I've ever had excepting one).

Does this mean that you are choosing Scotland over Madison? And, is your boyfriend going through schooling too, or just working? I see all of these posts where people talk about their spouses being enrolled in such and such program or are also in school, and it makes me laugh because that is SO not the case in my world.

[veniente]

VERY Similar, which is comforting because this website induces too much anxiety for me--thus, I haven't posted or read much on the site until today because I hadn't made a decision (even my currently tentative one). I've been dating my boyfriend for more than 4 years, and we have been through the ringer together, and I literally would feel like I was throwing 4 years of my life--minus the schooling--if I just went to London and said goodbye. I'd spend the whole time on the plane crying, which sounds positively miserable!

Wow, 4 years. It's harrowing, isn't it! I've been dating mine for 6 years, and they have just got a great job that they really like. What a ridiculous career choice (premature call, I know) I appear to have made.

Edited February 25, 2012 by arrivant

[Bayo]

Not to interrupt the discussion on relationships surviving grad school (because even though the case doesn't apply to me, I can imagine how difficult it must be), but I have a question regarding recruitment visits.

Has anyone been invited for the department visit and not been able to make the trip?

I received word on funding from my one acceptance last night, and I was also invited by the DGS to come out for a visit. But this is a cross country trip, and they're giving me less than two weeks' notice. Even if they provide travel funds, I don't see myself being able to take off work. Our schedules are made so far ahead that changes are typically requested at least a month in advance. Not to mention I pretty much AM my department.

[WendyMoira]

Yeah man, for my job I basically write perfunctory emails all day long to barely literate hobbyists and irate parents, and it has made me reconsider my ability to string more that a paragraph together at a time. I'm glad that no matter the program I end up in I will have a few years of coursework to kick my ass into shape! Though I've been thinking maybe I should take a summer course as a bit of a warm up...

I agree, applying to grad school would be easy if it was just about book learnin', but it isn't that simple! Figuring out how I'm going to afford it, and how I'm going to maintain a long distance relationship, and how I'm going to afford to maintain a long distance relationship, has all been gnawing away at me too! Not to mention the occasional bout of imposter syndrome (only really present when I think about PhD programs but still).

Yeah, the affording thing for me was luckily not a problem in my undergrad program, but the idea of living in London (which I've come to understand is only as expensive as you make it THANK GOD) is crazy because the money has to come from somewhere and it is a lot to ask for... That and asking someone to move to another country with you is a lot. Not impossible, but Long Distance costs SO much which i only say from experience, I don't think I could submit myself to that kind of torture when I'm already signed up for torture in Literature form. So i wish your relationship Luck and am sending good vibes in your direction!

PhD programs bring on such things for me as well. I was talking to my dad tonight and he said something on the order of "Maybe fate is telling you to attend this one University" Which equates to something like: no matter how qualified you are for a PhD program, maybe this MA program is meant to be. Mind you, it is... I think leaving California for a year would be an amazing experience, but I can't help asking why do they want me, but no PhD programs (so far) are willing to admit me. No wonder I loved visiting London so much, OBVIOUSLY the Brits and I are kindred spirits. (I jest, but am half serious...)

Thank you for bringing this up! The likelihood of the long-distance thing has been eating away at my stomach for weeks. I got into UT-Austin and while one half of me is overjoyed, the other can't be excited at all. My boyfriend and I are both English majors applying to PhD programs :-/ We tried to break down our applications so they fit in weird ways (like applying to Michigan and Michigan State, Wisc-Madison, Wisc-Milwaukee, etc) but I'm worried we'll end up in Austin and Buffalo. Before applying, we talked it out and decided we didn't want to take turns, even though it's the smart idea, because we'd both be miserable in the off-time. The idea of 6 years of distance followed by a grueling job search makes me want to curl into the fetal position.

The other side is, we're both obsessed with academia and it is a huge priority and something we share. And--I-got-into-Austin!!!!!! So....yeah. It's chaos.

[antecedent]

Yeah my boyfriend isn't into academia either (thank goodness - he's a meteorologist), so there is the hope that in a few years he'll have enough experience in his field to come join me wherever a PhD has lead me. I'm very lucky that he'd be willing to make that sacrifice. I will also definitely be taking his location into consideration in my next round of applications - so Canadian schools and American towns with international airports We also have the added struggle of not sharing a nationality - he's Canadian and I'm American. Fun! I don't want to have to leave him behind, but I don't really have a choice at this time - we've only been together for two years, the top programs for my interest few and far between, and he can't afford to not work wherever we are. I know we can do one year of long distance, and luckily any more than that is too far in the future to be relevant at the moment (unless a PhD acceptance falls out of the sky and into my lap, which seems unlikely at this point). I'm glad to hear, Timshel, that you made it work. It gives me hope for the rest of us!

Does this mean that you are choosing Scotland over Madison? And, is your boyfriend going through schooling too, or just working? I see all of these posts where people talk about their spouses being enrolled in such and such program or are also in school, and it makes me laugh because that is SO not the case in my world.

I'd take Edinburgh over Madison right now, because the department coordinator at UW-Madison basically told me there was no chance for funding and only a tiny, remote chance of teaching for my MA there, and I can't swing 25k in tuition + living expenses for two years. One year in Edinburgh would be more expensive (slightly), but it would also only be one year, and they have way more scholarships available to me, so I think I could make it without a loan...I think. The only thing that could really change my mind would be if by some miracle I got into UT Austin, or if I got in SFSU (because they'd at least give me teaching experience which I don't think I can get at Edinburgh, and I've heard that can make a difference in PhD apps).

[memberofthe?]

aeplo : That sounds like a difficult situation. I think it is one that many people face in making such decisions. Its not like there are great colleges that suit your interests everywhere and it is hard to make a decision without factoring in the person you love. It is the classic career vs love dilemma.

antecedent: I applied to San Francisco State as well! SF is one of my favorite cities in the world, so if you get it, don't rule it out! It's not the worst situation to be in and the people in San Francisco are some of the nicest in the state of California: It is still on my list of hopefuls, but I'd have trouble passing up on UCL. I face the same dilemma with University College London, I wouldn't get any teaching experience while working towards my masters degree, but the one year experience of living abroad also factors into your diversity as a PhD candidate. I think CA state schools have a lot to offer, so good luck getting in!

[antecedent]

antecedent: I applied to San Francisco State as well! SF is one of my favorite cities in the world, so if you get it, don't rule it out! It's not the worst situation to be in and the people in San Francisco are some of the nicest in the state of California: It is still on my list of hopefuls, but I'd have trouble passing up on UCL. I face the same dilemma with University College London, I wouldn't get any teaching experience while working towards my masters degree, but the one year experience of living abroad also factors into your diversity as a PhD candidate. I think CA state schools have a lot to offer, so good luck getting in!

I love how hands on the program at SFSU looks! I'm a bit worried about the prestige question, but I've been assured that it doesn't really matter where you do your MA. I hadn't heard that about a year abroad, but it makes sense when you think about how much you may have to move around as an academic. And I'm sure the experience with a variety of programs would present a pretty well rounded candidate too. Sigh. Good luck to you on all your apps! Looks like you have a lot of schools left to hear back from.

[hazelbite]

antecedent: I'm glad to know that others feel the same way. I think getting rejected from some universities and accepted at others sometimes can make you feel like your skills are somehow diminished with each rejection. That is what rejection inherently is isn't it?... Even though I've gotten in somewhere, I feel so far away from academia-- as I'm currently working two jobs, 1 as a (thankfully) well paid tutor of primarily elementary age students, and 2 as an office assistant -- that getting back into the swing of things seems nearly impossible. I'm not, nor do I think anyone is a perfect writer, but I there is an endless amount of room for improvement regardless of how many "A" papers I wrote while obtaining my Bachelors degree... Then there is thinking about moving miles away with my boyfriend who I have never lived with while simultaneously being anxious about writing amazing papers and making a great impression on my new professors. It is SO MUCH to think about. Life is changing people! And it is a scary/exciting thing!

THIS. My dreams at night have been so weird.

[Fiona Thunderpaws]

OH GOD. The boyfriend. I don't even know what to do about that. It crossed my mind a lot when I was first starting to apply, but then I had to stop thinking about it, because worrying about that on top of applications made me even more of a mess than I am now. He's already at a PHD program at UW Madison for chemistry, and getting rejected from them was like being beaten an inch from death by a bunch of club-wielding monkeys. Then being speed-healed so they could do it again. Brutal.

But for those of you looking to do a distance thing, it's been better than I thought it would be. It's really hard, and (for me at least) there was a long adjustment period of getting used to him not being there. However the time to do my own thing HAS been really good for getting stuff done and meeting new people/trying new things I probably wouldn't have done if he was still near me. But like I said, while things got better, it was really, really hard to get used to it at first. And for the money stuff... It can be expensive, but if you're prudent about when you buy flights and try to share the cost of it somehow, it can work out. And honestly, money spent to see someone you care about always somehow feels like the price is right in the end... Or I am giant sap. Maybe both!

[gr1277]

I applied to MA programs this year and mostly focused on state schools where I could get funded. So far, I've received two acceptances with GTAs (full tuition waiver and stipend at both). I'm still waiting to hear back from Nebraska and Missouri, but I don't have much confidence in them because I was waitlisted at KU.

Right now, it looks like I'm going to stay at my undergrad school for my master's. How much do you think this will hurt me in the long run when applying to PhD programs? A lot of people are applying straight to PhD programs from their bachelor's, so it makes me think it could possibly not be too much of a factor. However, then I think about the programs that don't want applicants with master's and everything goes out the window.

Also, I have the same dilemma as others with my significant other. He is currently still finishing his undergrad and staying at our school for my master's would be so easy. I love the English department here and I think it's an amazing fit. I just can't get over the fact that I'm probably settling. I almost hope I get rejected at Nebraska and Missouri because it will make my decision easy.

[ComeBackZinc]

First of all, getting funding in English MA programs is a rare feat, and you should feel proud of that accomplishment. As far as going with the same school for your MA as your BA, I think you'll find that quite common. I wouldn't worry about it too much. The only thing you want to watch out for is not going BA-MA-PhD at the same program; the term you hear a lot is "academic incest." The fear is that you could have been promoted out of personal connections to the faculty of that program rather than out of merit. Also, there's a concern that you wouldn't get enough breadth of knowledge or exposure to different kinds of scholarship. I'm not saying those are legitimate criticisms, but that's what you hear. It doesn't sound like you're planning on doing that, so no problem.

As far as schools wanting PhD students without an MA, it depends. My understanding is that this was quite common for awhile but has become much more rare. Now there are many schools that specifically require an MA before applying to the PhD program. Some schools, though, still support that practice. I'm afraid you've just got to research individual programs. Hopefully, they'll be upfront about that preference or requirement. In any event, you're not going to just turn down your funded offers, so you can't please those programs at this point anyway. Nothing to worry about.

As for your biggest question, it's tough. I know how hard it can be to move outside of a program you're comfortable and happy with, particularly with a significant other to think about. I have to say: if you're serious about making a life in academia, and you're convinced that you have offers at more prestigious programs, you probably shouldn't stay. I know it's very easy for me to say that, not living your life, and all. But in a brutally competitive environment, you need to give yourself every advantage, and I'm afraid they don't give do-overs on this stuff. Just my opinion.

[gr1277]

First of all, getting funding in English MA programs is a rare feat, and you should feel proud of that accomplishment. As far as going with the same school for your MA as your BA, I think you'll find that quite common. I wouldn't worry about it too much. The only thing you want to watch out for is not going BA-MA-PhD at the same program; the term you hear a lot is "academic incest." The fear is that you could have been promoted out of personal connections to the faculty of that program rather than out of merit. Also, there's a concern that you wouldn't get enough breadth of knowledge or exposure to different kinds of scholarship. I'm not saying those are legitimate criticisms, but that's what you hear. It doesn't sound like you're planning on doing that, so no problem.

As far as schools wanting PhD students without an MA, it depends. My understanding is that this was quite common for awhile but has become much more rare. Now there are many schools that specifically require an MA before applying to the PhD program. Some schools, though, still support that practice. I'm afraid you've just got to research individual programs. Hopefully, they'll be upfront about that preference or requirement. In any event, you're not going to just turn down your funded offers, so you can't please those programs at this point anyway. Nothing to worry about.

As for your biggest question, it's tough. I know how hard it can be to move outside of a program you're comfortable and happy with, particularly with a significant other to think about. I have to say: if you're serious about making a life in academia, and you're convinced that you have offers at more prestigious programs, you probably shouldn't stay. I know it's very easy for me to say that, not living your life, and all. But in a brutally competitive environment, you need to give yourself every advantage, and I'm afraid they don't give do-overs on this stuff. Just my opinion.

Thanks. I went into this with the goal of only attending grad school if I could get funded, so I'm pretty happy to have two funded offers currently. I'm just wondering how important the presigue is and how you can really tell the difference between programs if they are not top-notch in the first place. I've looked around at collected lists, but haven't seen any that were English department specific. I know that one student this year received her BA and MA at my current school and was accepted into some decent top 20 schools... but that could be the exception and not the rule.

Side note: The Purdue OWL has been a life saver quite a few times. The programs available at some schools just blow my mind. I'm still holding out a little hope that I can get an RA in the Cather Project at UNL.

[anxious_aspirant]

To all you lucky folks out there (of whom I am infinitely jealous) -

Not sure if there have been posts about this before (couldn't find any good ones), but how do you guys expect to fare with your schools' foreign language requirements? They seem to vary school to school, and both of my advisor-type professors told me to pay no attention to language requirements. I took this to heart, since it worried me most about these programs. I'd have to add a second foreign language to my repertoire from scratch...

So, my question is, are you really all trilingual, or are you planning on meeting the requirement other ways? Any specific info about your school or info that they've provided to you about it? Figured it would be good to get perspectives from you guys, as the luckier applicants, who might be planning this sort of thing.

Thanks for any feedback. (& good luck being scholarly )

[gr1277]

I am actually graduating with a BS because I'm double majoring in Business and English. I haven't even taken a foreign language since high school. However, most of the schools I have talked with have said I just have to meet a two year proficiency while completing my MA. One school said I can even take it Pass/Fail. It still makes me a little nervous though. I'm not sure if having a BS (which I hear is very uncommon) will hurt me.

[ComeBackZinc]

For my school, and some others, if you passed a language requirement in your MA program you're exempt. I didn't, so I'll have to take something to satisfy the grad school. We have grad level reading/writing classes that are specifically designed for people looking to pass their requirements, although I may take something more rigorous. As I understand it, at many schools the language requirements are easily met, usually with something like a timed translation test where you can use a dictionary. I'm sure you can find out about particular departments on their websites.

[Jbarks]

I was just accepted to Purdue. Thank you, Jesus! Of course I received the email at work, so now I can't concentrate on anything, and all I want to do is run up and down the hallway, which is probably not professional. I never thought I would get accepted to one program. But two?! Craziness.

[ComeBackZinc]

Big smile! Let me know if you have any questions.

[Jbarks]

Big smile! Let me know if you have any questions.

I definitely will. It is at the top of my list, and I'm really excited about the program. Thanks!

[TripWillis]

I was just accepted to Purdue. Thank you, Jesus! Of course I received the email at work, so now I can't concentrate on anything, and all I want to do is run up and down the hallway, which is probably not professional. I never thought I would get accepted to one program. But two?! Craziness.

Woo! That's a big win! Go jbarks!

[Jbarks]

Thanks, you guys! Trip, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that you'll come off that wait list!

[TripWillis]

I just got a second rejection e-mail from BU, and they're sending a letter in the mail. What... why... what is the rationale behind that? To demoralize you by rubbing it in your face and to fill you with false hope by sending you emails with non-descript subject lines? God, if I were 0-fer and clinging for hope, an unopened email like that would tell me: "WE MADE A MISTAKE! WE MEANT TO ACCEPT YOU!"

Jerks.

[Jbarks]

On 2/27/2012 at 3:12 PM, TripWillis said:

I just got a second rejection e-mail from BU, and they're sending a letter in the mail. What... why... what is the rationale behind that? To demoralize you by rubbing it in your face and to fill you with false hope by sending you emails with non-descript subject lines? God, if I were 0-fer and clinging for hope, an unopened email like that would tell me: "WE MADE A MISTAKE! WE MEANT TO ACCEPT YOU!"

Jerks.

I received two from BU. Yeah, I get it. You don't need to send me a reminder 10 minutes later.

[athousandlemmings]

I just got a second rejection e-mail from BU, and they're sending a letter in the mail. What... why... what is the rationale behind that? To demoralize you by rubbing it in your face and to fill you with false hope by sending you emails with non-descript subject lines? God, if I were 0-fer and clinging for hope, an unopened email like that would tell me: "WE MADE A MISTAKE! WE MEANT TO ACCEPT YOU!"

Jerks.

Got the e-mail too. The worst part was having to log back online to the rejected application to get my ID because it was password-protected. Felt like opening up a coffin in hopes that something in there is still alive.