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Sh^t People Say About (History) Graduate School


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Posted

Inspired by C&I's post, we just need to create one! They can be imagined or for real.

"You've worked a Famous Museum. You should get in, no problem!" (I cannot tell you how times I've actually groaned)

"Oh, you're doing Jewish history because you're Jewish?"

"Getting a Ph.D. in Jewish history... does it mean you can be a rabbi?"

"What do you do with a PhD in history? Be a professor?"

"Can your Professors get you in Yale/Stanford/NYU with a phone call?"

"There's nothing else you can do wit a PhD in History other than to be a professor. You know the market is awful." (My parents get that phrasing A LOT)

"Is there a Common Application?"

"Your GPA is more important than your essay."

Posted (edited)

"Why would you pursue a degree in History? You can just get a pay raise with a Master's in Education, and it's a lot easier!"

"My condolences." (This came from a colleague who does hold a Ph.D. in History from a great university, and he was sort-of-joking lol).

"Ugh, I hate History."

And this one, from one of my top students (going to a top 10 university in the fall):

"I can't imagine you as a professor. You're too bubbly!" - LOL

Edited by teachgrad
Posted

"so... what are you going to do with that degree?" [more than you did with yours]

"you must have a lot of money to be able to afford that." [actually, i'm broke. they pay me a salary, i don't pay them anything]

"when are you going to be finished?" [shut up]

"it must be great to still be in college." [it's not college, trust me]

"when are you going to get a job?" [i already have one]

"so you're, like, a nerd, right?" [totally. tell me again about your video games, you non-nerd]

"i'm sorry." [me too]

"that's so cool that you get to travel to central america every year. i bet you get a nice tan." [i'm inside the whole time, i've never seen a mayan ruin, i spent 4 days out of 60 on a beach]

"so what fields do your parents have PhDs in?" [my dad never finished high school, my mom never went to college]

"what's your dissertation about?" [fuck you, don't ask me shit like that]

"you must have a lot of free time." [i work 60-70 hours a week]

"it must be nice to read books all day." [my eyesight is rapidly deteriorating]

Posted

"Can you pay your way through?"

"Wait, they pay you? Actually PAY you? How much?...But that's not enough to live on." [after explaining how funding works, that this is actually a job for 5 years, they become incredulous that the department pays the tuition]

"Can you get food stamps with that stipend?"

Posted

"Can you get food stamps with that stipend?"

sadly, yes.

"oh wow, i've never slept with a professor before." [gimme 7 years and we'll see]

"are you going to wear one of those blazers with leather patches on the elbows?" [damn right i am]

"oh cool, you get summers off!" [yeah, sort of!]

"i hated school." [probably because you weren't good at it, uh, i mean, the structure of modern education doesn't allow everyone to really show their talents]

Posted

"when are you going to move home and get a job?" [probably never, we don't really get to pick where we work]

"there's a new technical college opening near me. you should call them and see if they'll hire you." [i don't have the patience to explain how many things are wrong with that statement, but thanks!]

"when's the last time you did laundry?" [why, you want to do it for me?]

"you have to read HOW MANY books for comps?" [ugh.]

Posted (edited)

them: "what can you do with a PhD in History?"

me: "research, publishing, teaching. I will be a historian and professor of history."

them: "so you're going to be a history teacher? Why don't you just teach high school?"

me: *facepalm*

AND THIS:

them: "why didn't you just go to law school."

Edited by jeenyus
Posted

them: "why didn't you just go to law school."

For me, "Why don't you go to med school?"

Posted

Oh, my interview for this job turned into my boss talking about the kind of history he likes and random facts he knew (he majored in history before going to surprise... law school). All after I told him I studied history and wanted to go to grad school.

Posted

"You study the Holocaust? I love the Holocaust!" (five seconds later...) "Well, you know what I mean."

Bonus points:

"I know all about it. I saw a six hour documentary once."

Posted

Oh yeah... I forgot:

"Let me ask you some history questions, see how good you are." (Insert random questions about U.S. or European history and the wrong answers based on something they saw in the History Channel).

Posted

"You study the Holocaust? I love the Holocaust!" (five seconds later...) "Well, you know what I mean."

Bonus points:

"I know all about it. I saw a six hour documentary once."

"The Holocaust? What a depressing topic." (Um, ask me about my thesis... or my research... before making that judgment.)

Posted

"The Holocaust? What a depressing topic." (Um, ask me about my thesis... or my research... before making that judgment.)

I always get these semi-pitying looks and questions like "how do you deal with it?" Um, it's not like anyone is forcing me to do this. If it ever becomes too much I'll know it's time to step away. I wish some people would trust my judgement and that I'm able to discern for myself weather or not I'm cut out for this subfield.

(I'm guessing there's analogous reactions in other subfields too... right?)

Posted

I always get these semi-pitying looks and questions like "how do you deal with it?" Um, it's not like anyone is forcing me to do this. If it ever becomes too much I'll know it's time to step away. I wish some people would trust my judgement and that I'm able to discern for myself weather or not I'm cut out for this subfield.

(I'm guessing there's analogous reactions in other subfields too... right?)

I think that people outside of the research can't comprehend how people do deal with it. I know I'm used to it, but when we read Ordinary Men by Browning there were times when it did get overwhelming and I had to stop. Then again, I did take 20th Century Europe and Holocaust in Film, Literature and Art at the same time so the entire semester was a bit of a downer.

Posted

From my Dad [who never went to college]: "Don't you become one of those professional students who just goes to school all their life and never gets a job. That's the definition of LAZY." {FYI: "That's the definition of LAZY" is one of my Dad's favorite phrases}

From my Mom [who has a M.Ed]: "That should take you--what, three years?"

From my professors: "You know the job market's terrible, right?"

Posted

Glad I'm not the only one frustrated.

"Why didn't you apply to [x] University? Don't you want to live in [y]?" (It's a bit more complicated than that)

"Where do you think you'll end up teaching?" (The number of variables involved in giving a meaningful answer to that question are mind-boggling.)

"You got rejected? But you have such a good GPA and GRE!" (If only it was that simple)

Posted

"You study Israeli history? I hope you make Israel look good."

"You're learning Hebrew and Arabic at the same time?!"

"Ugh, I'm so bad at History."

"Do you know lots of dates and stuff?"

"Being a grad student is such an easy gig."

"How can you afford to get a phd?!?!!?!"

"You're so smart and studious. You'll get in SOMEWHERE."

You've all said this basically... So true, so annoying.

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