Guests at student admit days

[ahoskins321]

I am going to be starting an MPP program next fall and will be attending some open houses over the next couple of weeks. My mom will coincidentally be visiting me from out of state during my open house at Georgetown, and I am looking for advice on how acceptable it would be to bring her to the event. I am only 23 and am worried it will make me look unprofessional or younger than everyone else, but then part of me thinks no one will even care/notice. Any thoughts? I know she would love to hear about the program but I also don't want it to look weird. I realize this is a trivial question, but it's causing me undue stress. Thanks for any input!

Edited March 23, 2012 by ahoskins321

[jbriar]

Don't do it. Have her do other activities during the day. You are right, your mom shouldn't be coming with you.

[ahoskins321]

Ah see that is totally what I thought all along but then people keep telling me I am being silly and no one will care. None of them have ever gone to a graduate open house though so I don't trust them

[minderbinder22]

I wouldn't bring her. I'm 21 though so maybe I'm even more worried about looking young and unprofessional.

[svh]

Haha, it'd be a little weird to bring her. I don't think it would speak poorly about how young or professional you are though. It'd just be a little weird...

[ahoskins321]

See, it's great to have sane people to run this by. I have officially banned her from the event and explained in the politest way possible that it's not normal to bring your mother to things at this age. If you can't tell, she is more than a little overbearing.

Thanks for all the advice and validation everyone!

Haha, it'd be a little weird to bring her. I don't think it would speak poorly about how young or professional you are though. It'd just be a little weird...

[Eigen]

Glad you took the tact you did. There's a whole article over the CHE forums of facutly talking about students (undergrad and grad) bringing parents to such things, and it seems universally to make them think less of the student.

[nari27]

I think that it is a good idea to bring your mom with you to see the campus and new town you will be living in, but I don't think it's a good idea for her to come with you to pre-scheduled events or meetings with potential advisors. It would make you seem less mature and able to handle things yourself. It's a good thing to include family in your decisions, even if they're just along for support. However, if you think she would more of a hinderance than help then perhaps she should sit this trip out and come visit after you've settled in.

Last month I brought my mom along to my interviews in another state. I brought her becuase my potenital new school is 4500+ miles away from home and I knew she would be more comfortable about me moving so far away if she saw the place for her self. I was right, now she is fine with me moving that far away and even encourages it! I went to my interveiws during the day while my mom relaxed in the hotel room or went walking/shopping around campus, and at night we went out and had dinner together and walked around the campus. It was a nice mini vacation for my mom, and now she won't be freaking out that I am in the midwest going to school with "the children of the corn" (her words, seriously!). Congrats on your admit!!! I'm sure your mom is just very proud! :-)

[katis1621]

I think it depends on the visit. None of my visit were open houses, it was just come visit on your own and we'll let you sit in on a class and meet people. I was originally worried about bringing my mom, but both places are far away and my parents wanted at least one of them to have seen where I would be moving. So I took my mom on my first visit a week ago and it was great. She and I took the generic (mostly undergraduate) campus tour together and found my building. She met the grad student I was corresponding with and left while I met people and sat in on a class. While I was learning about the program she was speaking with the graduate school and got financial aid completely handled. Afterward I asked a graduate student to dinner to talk more about life in the city and my mom tagged along and paid for everyone's dinner so we were all happy.

I think it depends a lot on your situation but I would say don't be afraid to take parents on visits. In an open house situation I would not take them to scheduled events. But I was traveling across the country and spending 2 nights in a hotel so I was very glad to have my mom as a travel companion. However my mom is not at all clingy and the visit was very on your own situation. I'm taking her on a similar visit next week and looking forward to it.

[StephanieJ]

I'm going to MPP open houses too! My mom was going to go with me, but the IU program was very specific that guests couldn't attend the events. So I'm making the 6 hour drive solo. Where are you going to be touring?

[ahoskins321]

I'm doing the Georgetown MPP open house and I would have done the American one but I can't miss that much work! What ones are you headed to?

I'm going to MPP open houses too! My mom was going to go with me, but the IU program was very specific that guests couldn't attend the events. So I'm making the 6 hour drive solo. Where are you going to be touring?

[K.Ash]

I just did the American & GWU events last weekend (MPA) and didn't see anyone there with any type of +1s. Personally, it would have made me feel uncomfortable and a bit awkward when I wanted to chat with current students, professors, etc.

[StephanieJ]

I'm doing the Georgetown MPP open house and I would have done the American one but I can't miss that much work! What ones are you headed to?

I'm doing UChicago and Indiana University

[sengpatt]

I have a similar question regarding parents and events for admitted students. The town where my school is located is not near any major cities, and I will be unable to attend any open houses, alumni meet-up events etc. Incidentally though, one of the schools where I was accepted has invited me to attend an event in my hometown where there will be faculty and alumni. As I said, I won't be able to make it back for the event, but upon finding out about it, my parents have volunteered to go in my place. I think this a little weird, but my mother insists that they will just be there to "listen." Obviously I can't keep them from going if they want to, and since I can't go to any info sessions, it doesn't seem like a terrible idea. At the same time, it strikes me as rather unorthodox and slightly "helicopter"-y and may not ingratiate me to future collegues/professors. Thoughts?

Edited March 26, 2012 by sengpatt

[Eigen]

I have a similar question regarding parents and events for admitted students. The town where my school is located is not near any major cities, and I will be unable to attend any open houses, alumni meet-up events etc. Incidentally though, one of the schools where I was accepted has invited me to attend an event in my hometown where there will be faculty and alumni. As I said, I won't be able to make it back for the event, but upon finding out about it, my parents have volunteered to go in my place. I think this a little weird, but my mother insists that they will just be there to "listen." Obviously I can't keep them from going if they want to, and since I can't go to any info sessions, it doesn't seem like a terrible idea. At the same time, it strikes me as rather unorthodox and slightly "helicopter"-y and may not ingratiate me to future collegues/professors. Thoughts?

I think you have it nailed. It looks bad enough at the undergrad level when parents take too active of a role, and it looks much worse at the grad level. And there's nothing that's going to look worse than having them go without you, IMO.

Having family come to visit to see where you'll be living and working is one thing, but you don't want it to be your first impression.