Now that you're a grad student, what do you think?

[busbus]

Hi, friends!

In most of our cases, we're several days into our programs.

So...what do you think? If you have a good idea of what will be awaiting you in the next few weeks or even months, what are your thoughts? Is this what you expected? Better, worse?

Is anyone suffering Impostor Syndrome?

So far, it's like I'm in undergrad and repeating the coursework I did (I guess that's how it goes in linguistics). Except there's meetings and hanging around the department longer (I spent a few hours doing homework there). I had a bit of imposter system the other day when I could not understand what we were doing, but fortunately (lol) other people - even the 3rd & 4th years - were having problems as well. So that was a huge relief.

Hearing about people doing the required Ph.D. exams and the qualifying papers and dissertation defense sounds a little intimidating and scary to think, but I'll cross those bridges when the time comes.

On the whole, grad school is positive right now. Adjusting to this town and living situation is taking some time, though. Mild culture shock. It's a pretty town, but the isolation is offputting. I come from a large metro area on the other side of the country.

[LinguisticMystic]

I love it! I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing and I feel like I'm in the perfect place to be doing it. The professors are excellent teachers and welcoming and helpful advisors. One complaint is that my cohort hasn't been very receptive to socializing outside of the lab/class. Hopefully they'll warm up, but fortunately I visited the school last March and was able to meet this year's second year Master's students so I'm at least becoming close with those students.

[R Deckard]

Lol R Deckard. I am also teetering on the brink of a mental breakdown. It's so overwhelming. In undergrad, I had plenty of work to do, but I never felt that it was insurmountable. I was never quite sure if I could get my work "just right," but it always turned out well. Now, I'm just breezing through as much as possible knowing that there is no way I'm going to finish everything. The amount of reading is impossible. I've heard the idea that "they do it by design" a couple of times. What is the rationale behind this?

On a related note, I was freaking out about TA'ing, but it's turned out fine.

I actually just meant that I was walking on sunshine. But I love American Psycho. So hey, fun video.

[BrokenRecord]

Apart of me really hates that my program starts super late (September 24th)! Ughhh...just anxious to get started and going!

[theologyofyourface]

Apart of me really hates that my program starts super late (September 24th)! Ughhh...just anxious to get started and going!

Me too! And my classes don't start until October!

[rockhopper]

Good to read everyone else's experiences!! They sound like mine. Started two weeks ago. I'm really busy, and just TIRED most of the nights I get home.

TAing 4 sections of a 2 hour lab each week hasn't been bad, except I'm just exhausted when I get home at 7:30 at night, 3 nights a week!

I really like my cohort, they are all really nice, and luckily, sociable!

Now I gotta figure out my research! Good luck everyone, we're all in this together

[MashaMashaMasha]

Apart of me really hates that my program starts super late (September 24th)! Ughhh...just anxious to get started and going!

I know! I feel like whatever I do I can't keep myself busy enough to stop thinking about the first day!

[newpsyche]

Oh, my dear friends...I'm so sorry. The four weeks leading up to the first day were some of the hardest in my life because I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. The first two weeks will be incredibly challenging--emotionally, psychologically--but stick with it. It'll all get better.

[busbus]

I wish I could trade. In undergrad, school would start close to October. I'm pretty ticked that here, school starts in August. I had to miss PAX in Seattle (a video game festival).

Me too! And my classes don't start until October!

Apart of me really hates that my program starts super late (September 24th)! Ughhh...just anxious to get started and going!

[victor.s.andrei]

I have taken 2 classes so far, and apparently I am the only new PhD student from the United States.... and I am in the United States. When I go to class, I feel like I am at an international airport, haha.

I'm curious what school you're at. I feel that way in my engineering classes at Mason. LOL.

[xxcheshirecatox]

So far, I've really been enjoying it. Without question, it is very challenging and demanding, but I feel very lucky because I feel like I'm in the right program and that I'm with the right advisor, which is something that I never really felt in my old program.

[wildviolet]

Well, I didn't think it would ever happen to me, but self-doubt has set in (i.e., Imposter Syndrome). Last night I even cried a little as I thought what the hell am I doing in grad school? Why did I leave my family and friends and all my favorite places in my hometown?

I thought I was getting sick (a cold perhaps) but now I think it's just stress. As I talk to second- and third-years, it doesn't seem to get better. Actually, I don't think it will ever get better--perhaps we just have to manage it somehow?

[SeriousSillyPutty]

The good news: My classes in education are fine so far.

The bad news: As part of my program, I'm supposed to earn the equivalent of a master's degree in physics (which was my major, five years ago) and physics is kicking my butt. I thought that it would get easier as I got into the swing of things, or that I was just spending too much time on my other classes and once I put more time into physics I would make sense of things, but no. Can't do any of the homework, with notes and book and sometimes even answers, and I won't have any of that come exam time. I know I wouldn't have been accepted into the PhD program in physics, so it's not exactly imposter syndrome because I'm not fooling anybody.

The more good news: Everyone is nice. Nobody is trying to make me feel stupid or give me a hard time about taking classes with them. But I'm still failing, so... now what? :-/

[emmm]

Can you switch to a different area of science? Is there something else you have some background in that might be more do-able than physics? I wouldn't want to have to get a graduate degree (even a master's) in physics...Good luck!

[newpsyche]

As I talk to second- and third-years, it doesn't seem to get better. Actually, I don't think it will ever get better--perhaps we just have to manage it somehow?

Okay, this I AM going to disagree with, @wildviolet. Everyone I've spoken with, grad student and professor alike, promises the first semester is the absolute worst. Most have considered quitting at least twice. Second semester is a bit better because you've found your bearings and things are more expected. You have a routine. And then by your second year? You're good to go. Things get better and better. I PROMISE that.

[wildviolet]

Okay, this I AM going to disagree with, @wildviolet. Everyone I've spoken with, grad student and professor alike, promises the first semester is the absolute worst. Most have considered quitting at least twice. Second semester is a bit better because you've found your bearings and things are more expected. You have a routine. And then by your second year? You're good to go. Things get better and better. I PROMISE that.

I hope so! Thanks.

[Usmivka]

Okay, this I AM going to disagree with, @wildviolet. Everyone I've spoken with, grad student and professor alike, promises the first semester is the absolute worst. Most have considered quitting at least twice. Second semester is a bit better because you've found your bearings and things are more expected. You have a routine. And then by your second year? You're good to go. Things get better and better. I PROMISE that.

I have to disagree with you. I think this must be very field dependent, because the progression has been exactly the opposite for me and my peers. OK first semester, rough 2nd, intervening summer got nasty, and the 2nd year is hell on earth.

[fuzzylogician]

On 9/27/2012 at 1:36 PM, Usmivka said:

I have to disagree with you. I think this must be very field dependent, because the progression has been exactly the opposite for me and my peers. OK first semester, rough 2nd, intervening summer got nasty, and the 2nd year is hell on earth.

Must be field dependent. I found the first year to be the hardest - moving to a new country, making friends, settling in, getting used to the classes, having virtually no time for research. The second semester was better because I had some friends and could get back to research. Over the summer I developed a major project; I made the friends I have now in the beginning of my second year, and it's been improving ever since. As I become better adjusted and the classes/research ratio shifts ever more towards research, I definitely feel my well being tracking those trends and changes.

[ZeChocMoose]

The newness of the program, location, people wore off so that makes navigating second year easier. I also don't have to figure out where to go for certain items (groceries, dry cleaning, medical services, gas, etc) so that also helps.

For me, the expectations that you'll produce better work in your courses and you'll be further along in your research are definitely higher. That may make it more academically difficult than last year, but I feel better equipped personally to meet these challenges since I am more settled in my location.

I imagine my hardest year will be next year when I have to take my comprehensive exam. High stakes, timed writing doesn't sound that pleasant to me...

[crazygirl2012]

I'm in the same field as newpsyche, and I was also told that first year is the worst. There are some spikes in stress and workload throughout grad school, of course, but it gets easier to handle.

[GreenePony]

Now that I have my first paper back I'm feeling pretty confident about my in-program classes. The problem is going to be my "core" since I've never actually taken a class in American Studies (just classes that were crosslisted). My first class in it is terrifying since the professors is used to teaching a totally different class/program/school/type of student and its in an area I know very little about. It's also far more academic than my in-program classes, which are more practical/professional, and this could be a challenge in the future.

I'm finding for the required in-program classes, I'm pretty well prepared. It basically combines the classes I took in undergrad into two classes and very few of my peers have the same knowledge base. Although, there are a surprising number of people who have worked or are still working in the field already. I am not sure how that is going to affect the internship or job search since we'll be hunting at the same time.

Overall, I'm not panicking yet. Maybe because I don't have to write a proper thesis for this program.

[prefers_pencils]

My coursework has been very tough so far, and I've felt overwhelmed, irritated, etc. almost every day. What keeps me going are these thoughts:

(1) Every upperclass student tells me that after the first year, it gets better. And I believe them!

(2) Grades really don't matter - what matters is effort and a good attitude. I realize how kindergarten that sounds, but I'm grateful that's the norm.

(3) I think about all the would-be PhD students who were less lucky than us and didn't get accepted. Even if the work is tough, I like and respect my professors and fellow students. I'm excited about the research that happens here. I'm happy to have the opportunity I wasn't sure I'd get.

I hope these thoughts are helpful for anyone else who is struggling...