Bad PhD Advisor?

[Endthisnow]

Hi all,

I know that you must come across these questions on a regular basis, but please hear me out.

When I started my PhD in 2009, like many other students tended to procrastinate to an extent. I was new to Europe and wanted to explore what it has to offer. Plus, I have this habit of working at night. I am more productive at night when I am by myself. Because of this reason, I usually took the day off and came to the lab in the evening or worked at home, a number of times. I did not take things very seriously for first few months thinking that there is plenty of time left and I have been a good student all my life.

My boss didn't like my habit of working at odd hours. She expected me to work from 9-6 everyday. She took this habit of mine as a sign of disorganization and always taunted me about this. After first few months and a series of conversations with my boss, I started to take things seriously. But I couldn't change my habit of working at night or by myself.

Slowly, my boss started to give me crap about everything I did. She is one of those people who understands the theory very well, but has no idea about the new methodology or the principles behind it. So it became very difficult for me to explain to her my approach towards the topic. She would ask me to do things. I would do them and the next week she would ask me why the hell did I do it?! I don't know if she is forgetful or has little confidence in me.

Whenever I would show her my work/report/presentation, she would find a number of faults. I actually started not to work much on my first drafts, because I knew each time that I will be changing it 3-4 times no matter how hard I work for it. I started to lose confidence in my work. Her criticism is always 10% positive and 90% negative. Many a times she has blamed me for her faults.

But she is not like this with other PhD students, who btw are junior to me. But they belong to the country I work in. I am not saying that she is racist, because she has been very nice to me at times, but I think that she considers their work as a piece of gold. She thinks that their way of doing things is always correct, so I am even afraid to try things my own way. Many a times, she has embarrassed or insulted me in front of them.Last year at a workshop organized by my school, one of my juniors gave a presentation. I wasn't even asked if I wanted to or not.

I am defending my thesis in less than a month. Recently, I got my thesis review back from a reviewer and he commented that my thesis is kind of short. The fact is that I couldn't do a lot of things because of her absolute mis-management of some crucial resources and internal lab politics because of which many people quit the lab. I brought it to her attention many a times, but nothing ever happened. And guess what, no one else but me had to suffer.

I don't know if I am here just to vent. The point is that I am doubting myself. I continuously feel inferior to other lab members - juniors and seniors alike. I feel like I haven't learned anything during last 3 years. Trust me, I worked hard when I was supposed to. But my confidence has taken a big hit because of my adviser.

Do you think I chose a bad adviser?

Thanks

[Eigen]

I'm not sure if it's a bad advisor, or a bad relationship.

But I can advise for any other people who are out there- when your boss is clear that they expect you to work 9-6, work 9-6. If you have someone who's flexible enough to let you work when you work best, that's great. But if, like most PIs out there, they expect you to keep regular working hours, not doing so will likely sour your relationship with them.

From your post, it seems like you got off to a bad start (you didn't take things seriously early on), and then once you got serious, you still didn't conform to the work habits of the rest of the lab. Some people will assume that if they don't see you working, you aren't working. And especially so when they tell you they want you to work during the day. I would try to move on, and take it as a lesson that keeping up a working relationship with your boss will require meeting their expectations, not just working the way you work best.

[psychgurl]

I think the biggest thing to remember is that this is your career and it's your responsibility alone to take control of it--not your advisor, lab, etc. You mention many reasons for not excelling: no one asked you if you wanted to do a poster presentation (why didn't YOU ask?), your thesis is too short because of everyone else (could it be because you slacked off your first few months?), advisor gives you negative feedback (I don't think it's unreasonable for a draft to go back and forth 3-4 times). It's pretty obvious that no one's first draft if their best draft. period. Personally, I wouldn't want an advisor who was happy with a first draft...isn't that what they're there for?? constructive criticism?? also, why not take control of the feedback you get--keep a journal of things that your boss points out to you so you don't keeping the same mistakes again and again.

and as for the miscommunications--why not take meeting minutes and send them to your advisor right after the meeting? then you can reference what you talked about.

[Endthisnow]

I did ask to present. In fact, I sent a formal abstract. But I was told that there was no more room for oral presentations.

As for miscommunication, I have tried jotting down meeting minutes, but the following week she would simply say that this is not what she meant.

Yes, I know I have made mistakes. Everyone does. But she has killed my confidence very often.

I agree that 3-4 drafts is a norm. I do not mind working on it even 10 times. But its MY work! She makes it HER work! Its either her way or highway. Positive criticism is hard to come by. I thrive on positive criticism, but with her I am usually told how useless I am and can't perform any task without goofing up.

At this point, I don't even know if I am any good or if I should be defending at all.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Endthisnow

[psychgurl]

Perhaps you can switch advisors? It's not unheard of in my department to switch advisors sometime during your first couple years.

In any case, good luck.

[fuzzylogician]

I agree that 3-4 drafts is a norm. I do not mind working on it even 10 times. But its MY work! She makes it HER work! Its either her way or highway. Positive criticism is hard to come by. I thrive on positive criticism, but with her I am usually told how useless I am and can't perform any task without goofing up.

At this point, I don't even know if I am any good or if I should be defending at all.

Other people addressed some other aspects of the situation, which I tend to agree with. This sounds more like a bad relationship than a bad advisor.

The one point I wanted to make here is that you seem to be a little bit confused about the notion of advising. Yes, it's your work, but it directly reflects on your advisor if she lets it leave from under her hands and be published or submitted as a graduate thesis with her blessing. If she has concerns about your work, she can and should bring them up and insist that you fix the problems. If the relationship is healthy, you should be able to discuss the issues with her and agree on a course of action. You should understand why she asks you to make certain changes and you should be able to communicate any reservations you may have. Mind you, you might not always agree and in that case, it may just be that you have to do things her way because the buck stops with her and not with you, so to speak.

Given your description of not meeting your advisor's expectations for work times and taking the work seriously, and for needing a different kind of mentoring than she is giving you (i.e., more positive criticism), I think that your relationship is probably not the best. Since you're three years in and it sounds like you are close to finishing the degree, I would argue that it's a more reasonable course of action to do your best to manage the situation and get out of it with the degree, rather than start over with a new advisor - even if it means you have to compromise on some things.