Anybody else having a nervous breakdown?

[PsychGirl1]

So I got my first post-interview rejection yesterday (woohoo making Valentine's day even worse than it already is!). Frankly, I didn't even like the program that much and left the interview feeling kinda meh about the whole thing. But regardless, this seems to have set off my first official application-related emotional meltdown, and I'm now convinced that nobody will accept me. I'm furiously stalking the other schools I'm waiting to hear back post-interview, and even broke down and sent one of them a "WHEN WILL I HEAR?!?!?!" email. I found myself randomly crying to various articles on CNN (even though, genuinely, I don't care that some cop-killer in LA set himself on fire, or that some cruise ship without power made people have to deal with sewage flowing down the walls). On top of that, I have something due for school at 5pm (currently less than halfway done) and an important personal thing that I'm trying to attend around 3:30 or 4pm. But now I can't focus or get anything done.

 

Anyone feeling the same way? Misery loves company, guys, so please commiserate with me. :-)

[psychsquirrel]

OMG I know exactly how you feel!! I haven't heard from my schools yet and I've just been a bucket of tears! At least you have interviews lined up we can get thru this!!

[PsychGirl1]

I'm glad there is at least one other person experiencing my pain (although, of course, I wouldn't wish this on anybody). I think I finally understand when people say "I can't go through this whole process another time" and decide not to re-apply the following year.

 

For some reason, rejecting me after the interview seems so much more personal. I guess I am fine if someone rejects me on the basis of my grades/CV/personal statement, but not if they reject me on the basis of my personality :-). I know a lot more goes into it than that, but that's how it feels! Like being dumped after 5 dates versus 1 date. What did they find out about me after those extra 4 dates that they hated, that they didn't hate at first??

 

I'm pretty sure I'm going to gain about 10 pounds this week due to all the stress eating I've been doing :-)

[uromastyx]

SO many applicants go through this. You must stay positive, but also realistic. I mean, you've had multiple interviews. That means that programs are interested in you. You will get in somewhere.

Also, if you felt that the first school wasn't a great fit, then chances are they did too. Nothing more.

Best of luck, and remember:

Keep calm and carry on!

[PsychGirl1]

Thanks uromastyx :-) That's what I keep telling myself, but maybe I'll believe it after I hear it another 100 times!

 

After I binge eat this bag of Goldfish and refresh the results page a few more times, I guess I'll get back to work (at least for a few minutes). :-)

[stereopticons]

It comes and goes. Some days I'm much better at keeping things together than others. Today is not one of the better days. Some days I get excited about my one interview, other days I think about how this is EXACTLY where I was last year (just a different school) and become inconsolable and convinced that I'm not going to get in. It just makes it so hard to function in the rest of my life! 

 

At least you aren't alone in this!

[PsychGirl1]

Ugh stereopticons, that sucks :-(. But it's awesome that you went through this last year and re-applied. I think it's something that a lot of people struggle with (at least, a lot of the people I know) and it's brave to face this level of anxiety and stress and then make yourself go through it all again. I have been consoling myself with the fact that if it takes a few rounds of applying to get in (and therefore a few years), I'm going to arrive in a program being so freaking amazing that I'll rock the socks off of everyone. Cognitive reframing for the win.

[EastCoasting]

For me the second time around really is not as bad. Maybe because I am more busy in general, or maybe because I feel more confident that I applied to more suitable programs this year (or maybe because I have many more interviews). I don't think that I would apply a third time, but I am happy I went through this again. BTW starting to exercise regularly, and watching what I eat, helped me with self control (and to lose weight and shape up!). However before hearing anything from schools I was far more nervous, but I think the unknown will do that to you...

[PsychGirl1]

EastCoasting- I'm watching what I eat, it's just that I'm watching about 10,000 calories go into my mouth :-). hahaha. (When I'm stressed out I like to make really bad jokes).

 

I think for me, I'm so incredibly busy on top of apps, that it's just too much stress to handle. Being in a master's program would be a sufficient amount of stress, but when you add in traveling 50% of the time and preparing for interviews, I'm convinced it's impossible. But you're right, having too much free time would be horrendous as well.

[olayak]

I'm losing my mind over this. I have heard nothing from any of the schools. I'm driving all my friends and family nuts. Is it April yet?!

[stereopticons]

EastCoasting- I'm watching what I eat, it's just that I'm watching about 10,000 calories go into my mouth :-). hahaha. (When I'm stressed out I like to make really bad jokes).

 

Haha, I'm right there with you!

 

This is my third time applying. I keep saying I'm not going to do it again, but in all honesty, I don't think I could give it up. It doesn't seem to actually get any easier, though! I'm not sure if it's better to have a lot of time to worry, or have so much to do that you're over stressed--I've always been in the latter category. 

 

And olayak, I know what you mean. My friends and family want it to be April almost as much as I do!

[firstsight]

Trufax: my Pandora thought it was totally acceptable to start playing "My Heart Will Go On" when I clicked over onto this topic.

 

It's a shut-out year for me. I LOST it when I heard back from my last school... (I gave in and emailed all of the graduate coordinators for the different programs I had applied to, 'cause I literally couldn't handle it.) I totally get what you mean about that moment when you go, "Oh, so THIS is why people say they can't go through it twice." I'm teetering hardcore on not reapplying next year... I mean, little over six months until NEXT application season. -.-

 

At least Pandora has now moved into What a Girl Wants. Much more acceptable. xD (And I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I hope you guys have better luck than I did!!)

[WALLerts]

Dude if you all need a stress reliever, go into the chat room. It's great stuff. I just had a conversation with some folks about the negative consequences of putting processed cheese in a toaster oven.

[olayak]

Dude if you all need a stress reliever, go into the chat room. It's great stuff. I just had a conversation with some folks about the negative consequences of putting processed cheese in a toaster oven.

 

hahaha! That's awesome!  Just like another poster I am binge eating cookies and chocolate and drinking lots of wine.  this is true torture.

[PsychGirl1]

Olayak- I'm counting down the minutes until I can get a cocktail into my stomach. Sigh.

[stereopticons]

Maybe we need an application process drinking game...

[WALLerts]

Maybe we need an application process drinking game...

 

That right there is a stroke o' genius

[PsychGirl1]

Maybe we need an application process drinking game...

 

I STRONGLY SUPPORT THIS. :-)

[WALLerts]

How would it go? I'm picturing it this way:

 

-Kill a whole bottle upon receiving a rejection letter. They didn't deserve you anyway.

-Crack a bottle to celebrate upon receiving an acceptance letter. Finish bottle. You deserve the break!

[stereopticons]

Take a shot every time you see a school you applied to on the results page but don't hear anything yourself!

[stefanka]

Take a shot every time you see DarwinAG post something and then feel completely inadequate yourself. 

[FutureSchoolPsych]

I am so glad I read this post. I have been going through the exact same thing. I had my first interview three weeks ago at my alma mater and have yet to hear anything, when I've already run into people who have heard. Called the secretary yesterday and was told that more letters would be sent out "sometime next week". Aughhhhhhh. In the mean time, I am trying to keep up with my research lab, 5 classes (four of them online and all of them intense), preparing for an interview that's next week, and nervously waiting to hear from other schools. And here, I thought I was going to lose a bunch of weight this semester. NEGATIVE. I am on this website now grubbing on Chinese food and watching Netflix. Not to mention checking the results section like 20x a day.

Edited February 16, 2013 by flattsfan1216

[FCP]

This will not sound intellectual, but I am watching real housewives to help relieve my stress.

[PsychGirl1]

@flattsfan1216, sounds like we should be best friends forever, since we basically have the exact same life.

 

@FCP i never got into real housewives, but i do watch teen mom 2 and jersey shore. i'm not sure which is worse...

 

I got about 20,000 calories of food in my tummy along with two beers, so I'm feeling infinitely better about life. But I'm pretty sure the whole cycle is going to start again tomorrow...

 

I also forgot to mention that my phone rang from a blocked number today while I was brushing my teeth. I legit was about to have a panic attack and almost dropped my phone in the toilet. I calmed myself down (took a lot of effort) and answered the phone in a very professional manner. Then the automated CVS system was like, "Your prescription is ready! Come pick it up".

 

I was pissed.

Edited February 16, 2013 by PsychGirl1

[PsychGirl1]

And as far as the drinking game, I vote that we combine all the ideas into one big monstrous drinking game. :-D